《Out of Place》Home.
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"Shoot, I'm late!" A cloaked boy exclaimed, holding up his hand and checking the brand new silver watch on his wrist (which was a generous gift from Mimi. She claimed that she HAD to explain the art of shopping to Dio since he was new in town,) as he rushed through the wonderful town of Flipside, which he loved oh-so-much. He wouldn't have time to look at the fish this morning.
He rushed through town, on foot, not using teleportation. He always found it better to walk. Teleporting reminded him of when he landed in that empty world, and he was almost afraid of landing there again, so he was told to try not to for a few more weeks. He tried his best to keep the thought of it out of his mind.
He then burst into a building, where the room was bright (but not overwhelmingly bright,) and comforting, a trained professional waiting in a chair for him. "Ah, there you are, Dio!" The woman beamed, not pointing out the fact that he was late, which he was grateful for.
"Yes, yes, I'm here. I'm sorry. I slept in," Dio breathed, sitting down on the couch across from her and placing his hands in his lap. "I-I'm ready now."
"Are you sure? If you need a minute to breathe, we can-"
"No, no. I'm good!" Dio assured, giving two awkward thumbs up. The lady nodded, then gestured for him to lie down. So he did, staring at the ceiling and letting out a nice, long, deep breath.
"I see you did your homework," She noted.
To this, Dio softly smiled and nodded. Proud of himself. "Yes... I did," He said.
He had been coming to see her twice a week for two weeks now. The first week in Flipside, Dimentio had recommended that he seek professional help, but Dio had been afraid. It took him a week to find the courage to go to therapy. But with each and every day that passed, he found that he was glad he did.
In the last meeting, he was given an assignment. To make a change to himself. It didn't matter how big or small, but he was tasked with doing something different.
So... he dyed his hair, making streaks of white mix with the black as a tribute to his lost younger brother. He rather liked it. It almost made him feel more... like himself.
"How do you feel about it?" She asked.
"Dimentio likes it a lot. He almost cried happy tears when he first saw," Dio explained. "Mr. L said it makes me look cool. Nastasia and O'Chunks didn't react. Mimi claimed it overall brightened my appearance and made me look, 'more Dio-like,' in her words," He finished, using air quotes as he spoke.
"That's wonderful, but not what I asked," The woman calmly corrected. "How do you feel about it?"
Dio hesitated, then smiled to himself once again.
"I love it. But... I still miss him."
"I know..." She assured him. "Do you want to talk about that?"
"....Yes," Dio muttered, his smile fading. He then took a deep breath, allowing himself to speak. Even in only a few weeks, he had gotten better about speaking his thoughts. At first, it was really hard, but he was more comfortable now.
He told her that he still thought about it often. He still missed his home. He still desperately wanted to go back, even though he knew there was no way. He still felt mad at Cosmo for sending him away, even if it was with good intentions. He explained that a part of him was still afraid of being judged for seeking help. He was afraid people would see him differently. But she assured him, as many others did, that this was how healing started and this was the best thing he could do for himself.
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He then spoke of how sometimes, even if he was happy now, the thoughts would come back. He was still afraid that he'd get weak again and hurt himself.
He had been strong for three weeks now.
He told her that at night sometimes he would cry.
"But..." The therapist trailed off, softly smiling.
"But... I know I'm not alone anymore," Dio breathed. "Even if it hurts sometimes, I'm not alone."
"And..."
"And, I am valuable. I am strong. I am important to people." Dio continued, remembering the words Dimentio had spoken to him not so long ago, though it felt like an old distant memory now. Actually, it felt like a long time ago, but at the same time it felt so recent. It didn't quite make sense.
"And what do we say to the bad thoughts?" She asked.
"We say... 'you're out of place. I'm choosing happiness today.'" Dio answered.
"You're very brave," The therapist told him. "For coming here, for getting help, for pressing forward."
"So I've been told," Dio replied with a soft smile.
"Well... do you believe it?" She asked.
Dio paused, briefly biting his lip as he blinked up at the ceiling, waiting for a solid answer to come.
"I'm... not sure. I don't feel very brave," he admitted.
He often felt like a coward for not being able to handle this all himself. But people kept reminding him that he wasn't, so he honestly was unsure what to think anymore.
He paused, then sighed, relaxing into the couch more. "Is it bad... that I feel like I haven't gotten better. I mean, I know I have because I'm happier. But... I still get those bad feelings. I still miss my family. Is that bad?"
"No," She assured him. "It's natural to feel. And it takes a while to heal. It takes a while to grow. Nothing happens instantly."
"But... I still feel lost sometimes," Dio pointed out.
"Well... when do you not feel lost?" She asked.
Dio paused once again, thinking back to the last time he didn't feel lost.
Probably thirty minutes ago when Dimentio rushed in and told him to get out of bed before he was late to this very meeting. He remembered the feeling of belonging at that moment, as he rolled over and pretended to still be asleep.
"Hey," Dimentio had said, opening the curtains and allowing sunlight to flood into the room. "Are you still asleep?"
"Yep," Dio had replied, keeping his eyes shut and lightly smiling.
Dimentio had sighed and grabbed Dio's arm, trying to get him out of bed. "Come on, you're going to be late. I've played this game before. You can't fool me."
"What game? I'm merely sleeptalking. So do not wake me," Dio replied, rolling his head away from the light in an attempt to get another moment of peaceful sleep.
The memories made him smile.
"... When I'm with other me," Dio told her. "I don't feel lost when I'm near him."
"That's wonderful," She said, putting her clipboard down. She looked delighted by that information.
"But what if he doesn't want me around? I can't always lean on him," Dio pointed out. "I mean- He has his own life."
"He wants you around. But I can see your concerns. With time, you'll heal. With time, you won't need him as much. But for now, I want you to continue finding the people who make you feel at home. Okay?"
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Dio nodded, then sat up. "Okay." He promised.
______
Once he was done with that day's session, he did the things he did every day to make himself happy. One of the things he was trying really hard to work on, (even though Dimentio had told him not to worry about it,) was learning to find ways to make himself happy without relying on Dimentio. After all, he felt it was unfair to ask a person to be there for him all the time.
So, he would walk around town. One of his favorite things to do was lie down in the basement of Flipside and stick his hand in the water as the fish would swim past his fingertips. Feeling the calm liquid against his arm always helped his mind be at peace.
It was one of the first things his therapist told him to do. When he felt the need to relieve the pain, instead of cutting, he would either go down there to stick his arm in the cool water or take a small piece of ice and gently graze it against his arm, signifying the feeling of the blade without actually hurting himself. Luckily, he hadn't felt the need to do that yet, but he thought it a helpful solution. Sometimes he came to the water even when his mind wasn't being cruel to him. Sometimes he just came to the water just to be by it. He liked the quiet stillness, and he loved the way ripples would form after he placed his hand in.
For these past few weeks, himself, Mr. L, and Dimentio stayed at a hotel in Flipside (Merlon let them stay for free until more things were solved. Yes, everyone was rather uneasy with the idea of Dimentio returning, but Dio was the one who delivered Nastasia that letter from the count, so she vouched for them and claimed that she would take any responsibility for anything Dimentio may end up doing. And if the town could learn to trust team Bleck, then perhaps they could learn to trust Dimentio too.)
Team Bleck would often visit. They all lived in a medium-sized house in Flopside. Dio loved the way things were at the moment but didn't suspect that it would stay that way for long. He was sure that not long later Dimentio and Mr. L would move out, and he would have to find his own place. After all, with time, the environments around him would too change. That was just how life was.
For now, he'd just enjoy his time there.
Mimi was super fun in an annoying way where she would always talk to him and find the differences between him and Dimentio. She also liked shopping and wanted to make sure at least one Dimentio looked fashionable. Dio found O'Chunks to be an absolute delight, especially his cooking. And Nastasia reminded him of his mother in a way. Kind, yet organized. Sometimes it was like she was the only adult in a house full of children.
He still felt out of place, he still felt like he didn't belong, but does anyone ever truly belong? He supposed that with time, the feeling of displacement would fade.
For now, he'd choose happiness. He loved when Luigi came over. The man in green got him a phone, which was hours of fun. Luigi was even kind enough to give him Daisy's number, (not his idea. Daisy was actually the one who suggested it,) so sometimes Dio would text her when Dimentio and Mr. L were hanging out on their own. He did his best not to be a third wheel, as he didn't wish to be a bother. But whenever he was with them, they didn't seem to mind.
In fact, with each day he and Dimentio seemed to be getting closer. It's strange. It's not often that your best friend is yourself, and yet, here he was. Maybe that was sad. But deep down he knew that Dimentio and himself were not the same. Yes, they may have been technically the same person, but their different experiences shaped them both into different people.
After about another hour of spending the day alone, Dio finally deemed it time to see someone else. With each day he found more endurance when it came to just being with himself. For the first week of being there, he couldn't even be alone for ten minutes, but he was improving, so that was good.
He was about to walk back when he ran into Mr. L waiting at the bottom of Flipside tower. Dio immediately smiled and waved, rushing over to the man in green, who almost looked nervous. "Hey! L!" Dio called, bringing his hands to his mouth to amplify his voice. Mr. L jumped a tad, then immediately turned to him and let out a sigh of relief, rushing over to the cloaked boy.
"There you are! We've been waiting for you!" Mr. L exclaimed. "You usually come back at 1:00. It's 2:30!"
"I know, right? I'm getting better!" Dio exclaimed, proud.
Mr. L lightly smiled, then grabbed Dio's arm, taking Dio across and over to Flopside. "Well hurry up. We have something for you."
"Something for me...? What is it?" Dio asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms in a joking suspicious manner.
"If I tell you, then it will quite literally ruin the surprise," Mr. L pointed out. "Just... close your eyes. Okay?"
Though still skeptical, he obeyed because he trusted that whatever it was, it probably wouldn't be bad. So he trusted Mr. L to lead him forward blindly. He did almost trip a few times, but Mr. L was able to grab his arms and steady him.
There were still scars and scabs on his arms from three weeks ago, but he was beginning to heal. With each day the wounds got smaller, but the scars would likely last forever as a constant reminder. Even so, he tried not letting the voices in his head scold him for doing that. He tried choosing to simply look past his own imperfections and mistakes.
Soon he heard whispering. He couldn't make out what the whispering was, but he definitely heard it. "Um... L? What's going-"
"Shh...." Mr. L hushed. Though Dio wasn't quite sure if he was talking to him or the other voices. Either way, everyone fell silent.
He waited there another moment when Mr. L finally let his arm go. He heard the man in green take a few footsteps away, then halt.
"Okay. Open your eyes."
So he did, blinking a few times to see a big multicolored sign that read, "Welcome Home," each letter written in a different font.
He could see handwriting that very closely resembled his own on the W and M of the word 'Welcome,' as well as the E of home. Both E's in the word welcome were almost sloppy and rushed looking, closely resembling Luigi's handwriting. The L in welcome and the H in home he recognized to be Nastasia's handwriting, and the other letters were in writings that he could not quite recognize, but could safely assume belonged to O'Chunks and Mimi. One of them was very big and crooked, and the other was small and cutesy.
"Wh... What is this?" Dio asked with wide eyes as he looked at the big multicolored sign. Everyone was standing in front of the house that Nastasia, O'Chunks, and Mimi had currently been residing in.
"Um, we're inviting you three to live with us. Duh," Mimi giggled. "Dimmy's idea. He knew you missed having a family and whatever, so-"
"Let me say it," Dimentio interrupted, putting the sign down and taking a step closer to Dio. "I know... that you still miss having a family. You still miss the feeling of being a part of something. Sometimes we tend to feel... out of place. So... I asked myself when I ever felt home. That's when I realized..." He trailed off, turning and gesturing to everyone else. "... Even though they were never my real family... they were the closest I could get. I suppose I just didn't realize it in time."
Dio blinked a few times, looking past Dimentio at everyone else.
"But I... I hardly know any of you. You don't have to-"
"We want to," Nastasia told him. "Yeah, we want you here. O'Chunks made a room and everything. So if you say no, then we will have just wasted a lot of time. K?"
Dio lightly smiled, finding it hard to contain his happiness. Finding it hard to contain the positive feeling forming from within him. "You did this all...?" He asked, voice small.
"Yes," Dimentio said, smiling the way Dio often would smile. "You and I... lost our homes long ago. But that doesn't mean that we can't make a new place. That doesn't mean we can't find new families. Maybe this can be your home. And maybe I could be... could be..."
Could be...
".... My brother?" Dio asked, raising his eyebrows.
"...Yeah. That," Dimentio nodded, almost looking shy. "I suppose I'm just saying... you're not lost anymore. We're not lost anymore. So... will you stay with us?"
Dio's eyes shifted around the circle. From Mimi to O'Chunks to Nastasia to L to Dimentio, then the welcome home sign.
"...There's nothing I would love more," He said.
And so, everyone went inside hand and hand, one family.
Dimentio was the last in, but before he closed the door, he looked out behind himself and let out a content sigh.
Happy... something he never thought he'd be able to find again.
He felt so lucky.
He smiled, then closed the door.
No more loose ends.
...
...
"...Kid?"
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