The nurses dumbass fingers were really cold - so cold that they woke me up.

Don't get me wrong. I respected what nurses did, really. It takes a lot to have me walk into an infirmary for the fifth time and instead of saying "ugh, not again" you actually help me.

Respectable.

"Oh dear," the nurse mumbled out. I couldn't tell if she was genuinely sad that she woke me up, or scared that she would go and try to get another concussion.

"It's fine," Andor said, he was also quiet. Possibly for the same reasons the nurse was or me. "Thank you."

I opened my eyes, scrunching my eyebrows together against the sunlight. I tried to pry up my soar arm to block my vision. They made the rooms so ungodly bright, with the white walls and pale wood floors.

I didn't even try to get up. The universe was trying to tell me to lay down and fucking stay there.

Andor tried to speak, but I just held up my hand in front of my eyes.

"Don't even tell me again," I said, my arm limply laying over my face. "I know."

"About Sonja," His voice wavered. "You know?"

I nodded my head. "At that point I was still semi conscious."

I took my arm off of my face and opened my eyes. I could see Andor sitting beside me, where his voice had been traveling from. He tried to force out a smile when he saw me but we both knew the whole situation was just shitty.

I stared back up at the ceiling. "I kind of knew - in a weird way. She had been acting strange, like the way she told us about Jeriah. It was so natural, but yet I didn't believe her."

"She had been limping," Andor added on. Then his eyes darted to me and back to the chair. "Sorry. It seemed like no one else noticed."

"No one wanted to notice," I said.

Andor mumbled out something along the lines of, "Yeah."

It was too bizarre, for her to just walk off with these random people. For her to agree with something she was so disgusted by only three weeks ago didn't make any sense -

"Maybe they are paying her," I tried to shotgun off ideas.

He shook his head no. "Your friends are too good for that Hope," He let out in a soft voice. He started to seem less anxious, like he wasn't picking his nails anymore.

Maybe everything about Sonja was starting to make sense to him too.

I knew that she was too good for that. It would have been easy to pass her off as a traitor and a horrible person. I could just force her out of my life. The problem would be gone, right? This time I knew. I knew I wasn't in denial this time.

"You really think that?" I asked him, but I knew the answer. No fidgeting, no guilt. No worrying about me being hurt. I had nothing to be hurt by.

"Yes.

We both sat against the back of the bed, just staring out at the window. I didn't want to deal with real world yet. I wanted the opportunity to observe it instead.

Anyway, the rest of the team would be fighting for a good two hours about what I knew already - she didn't betray us. Then after they figured that out we could get some work done. Really start to put the puzzle together.

There was nothing I could do about it right now anyway.

"What doespulchritudinous actually mean?" I asked.

He stared at me, now ignoring the birds outside the window. "Excuse me?" He smiled, ducking down to make eye level with me.

"You know. That fancy word you called me a few months after we met."

His eyes widened. "Oh." As If he didn't remember the exact time he told me that. "I thought I already answered that."

"You did not just call me fine," I added on. "I don't believe you."

He was blushing furiously at this point, which was exactly what I was aiming for. "I'm surprised you remembered the whole word."

"Seriously. I'll just look it up in a dictionary," I threatened.

Not the most threatening threat, but it worked.

He sighed. His hands were fiddling with the sheets at his side. "It means beauty."

I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't have anything witty to say. My heart was just jittery and happy. I expected him to say something stupid, but all this time he had called me beautiful.

"I heard this one general try to have a women dance with him by using it," he stated.

"Ew," I said. "But that words so gross."

"Which is why he got slapped." And I swear, Andor's smile almost got bigger remembering that moment.

I stared back outside at the birds.

They were flying around, doing nothing. Nothin of value at least. All they had to do was reproduce and survive. They didn't get into wars or create treaties. They didn't have friendships or enemies. Where did we all go so wrong?

"That general was a douchebag."

"Yes."

"Tucker give me the bottle!"

"No!"

"Give it right now!"

Tom started to wrestle him for the alcohol. Tucker clung to the beer bottle for his dear life - as if it was his saving grace and for mourning men it usually is.

Hope walked into the door behind me, sighing. She had the general reaction all of us did when we walked into Tucker's room.

He had somehow turned a tidy and spotless room into a pigsty in less then a night. End tables had been toppled over, and everything that sat on them was now laying on the newly stained floor. His bed sheets were thrown on the ground or around him. He hadn't been wearing pants when Tom first knocked down the door.

"Just one fucking time where we don't get interrupted," Hope mumbled.

Jordan finally decided that he needed to do something about this predicament. Before he had just been leaning on the wall, trying to solve a problem that had already blown up.

"Alright Tucker," Jordan commanded. His mind claimed that Tucker would have more respect for him. "Seriously give him the bottle."

"No." Tucker tried to sound snarky but his words were so slurred that you couldn't tell if he was actually saying "boo" instead.

"I mean it," Jordan started to walk over to the wrestling Tucker and Tom.

Tucker gripped his bottle tighter. "No."

"Tucker!" Jordan grabbed the bottle and started pulling. "Tucker."

"No, no, no!" Tucker screamed out. "All of you fouck off!"

I felt bad for the students who were trying to sleep.

Now all three of them were simultaneously playing tug of war with a half empty beer bottle, and knowing Tucker it was probably weeks old. Sadly, I expected nothing less from them. The moment Sonja left they all became a mess.

Though I was part of the all now. Shame.

"Wag," Hope motioned to me.

I squinted at her. That child was and still is a pity party mess. The fact that she was the sane one in this situation was horrifying.

She motioned to me again.

I was still confused.

She sighed, disappointed that mind-reader wasn't one my many magical talents. "Hand me that vase please."

I turned around, seeing a pale pink vase housing a bit of lavender. I didn't have time to think what she would do with it. I just handed it to her.

She cupped the vase and stared at the intently at the intricacies of it. I knew she did doodle a bit and Andor is quiet the artist, but I didn't see Hope taking an interest in the finer things like vases and sculptures. I guess they must have calmed her. The only reason she would have needed it in a time like this -.

She chucked the vase at the wall.

It crashed into one of the white washed walls, making an obvious dent in the plaster. The pale pieces were scattered on the ground.

The noise was enough to shut all three of the boys up.

"The fuck guys!" She yelled out. I again felt pity for the students. Hope could bark out orders like a drill sergeant. "Are we seriously loosing it after one day of Sonja being gone."

Jordan slid down from the bed where Tucker was sitting. Tom and Tucker still both had a grip on the bottle, but they didn't dare move.

"Like I get it. We're all messes and she was the only one keeping us together, but this time she's counting on us," Hope said. Her hands reached down to her sides, gripping nervously at her pockets. "We didn't loose a member yet, but we might if we can't get our shit together."

She marched over to Tucker and grabbed the bottle out of both Tom and his hand. "You don't need this," Hope suggested softly.

"Hey!" He yelled out, trying to reach for it.

"You don't need it!" Hope suggested a little louder. She placed the bottle on the table where the vase used to sit. Crossing her arms she said, "Now, ideas what the hell happened."

"She left," Tucker slurred out. "She got tired of me. She got bored. I don't fucking know, she left, why does it matter."

Hope squinted at him. Everyone else in the room, including me was ready to hug him, comfort him, baby him. We all felt horrible.

Seemingly, except Hope.

"Oh yeah," She rolled her eyes. "Because the necromancers with magic fucking powers totally took the time to negotiate with her instead of just, I don't know, mind controlling her."

People still seemed skeptical of her claim, including me. When could she have even been cursed or poisoned or hexed? There are so many possibilities.

"Yeah, But-" Jordan stammered out.

"Because it's not like we didn't just go to a super sketchy night club where she was left all alone," Hope stated sarcastically. "It's not like she was acting really fucking weird right after that."

Jordan started to put pieces together with that brain of his. Sometimes I imagined smoke flying out from it. He always had to think.

Jordan bit his lip, now standing upright. "So you think that they were able to take advantage of her in some way, like this was all some big plan. That they just kidnapped Sonja right in front of us?-"

"But what reason would they have?" Tom interrupted. "You know, to take her."

Hope motioned to Tucker. "Well, look at us. They obviously see us as a threat, and they needed to find a way to weaken us."

I glanced over to Tucker who was laying stomach down on his bed. He was a mix of hungover and drunk at 10:00 am in the morning.

"It's worked," I said.

We were at a stop now. We knew she had to be under someone else's control. Something that happened at the Carnage's bar. But what had happened. We couldn't answer how to save her without knowing that.

"Did anybody else noticed something extremely off with her?" I asked. Most expected Tucker to answer, but he was passed out.

"Andor said he noticed her limping," Hope shrugged. "Does that help?"

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off. I remembered a day in my old village, when I was still young and naive. I used to read books on magic, on any magic, even necromancy. Such was common back when.

I had heard of a type of parasite. A type that lived right under the skin of whoever you may wish. It fed off of that person, but not physically - mentally. If you were powerful enough, you could persuade someone to do anything.

Excitement started to surge in my veins. "Jordan, do they have a lab here. Can Faith find us one?"

Jordan became flustered, backing up against the wall. "What - Faith? Why would I -? What? Why would I know-?"

I didn't have time for him to be ridiculous. "We have work to do!"

"Quickly," I ran outside of the disgusting room. Leaving only leftover ideas behind me.

I had cracked the case in only a night.

I had finished wiping off Tucker like he was a baby and put him in bed, and I would complain more if I was a hypocrite. I am not, of course. I am the most honest man I have ever met. I am aware that I am a drunk mess. I am a good enough person to admit it.

I didn't really have anyone to talk too because I had to be a good best friend. Tucker was M.I.A. Sonja was literally missing in action, and Wag and Jordan were trying to find a way to stop Sonja from being missing in action.

The only one who wasn't preoccupied was Hope, and other than the times she played me in card, I had no idea what she did in her free time. To be fair, when I knew her best her free time was filled with running for her life. Now that she had walls to protect her did she trade ants, make pots, maybe drink? Could we get on about anything?

I was about to find out.

I figured she would be outside because the inside was to crowded and people pissed her off like everyone else on the team. And - what do you know? - I was right.

She was sitting in the back of the Institution's garden on a boulder. It's where Spark had been when we had to see him, and I expected him to be there too.

Spark made riveting conversation with Andor while they played chess, and by Hope's tired look it seemed like they had been there for awhile.

"Hey," I greeted them, trying to awkwardly point my feet at Hope. I did not feel welcomed.

Hope shielded her eyes from the sun. She decided to face east for some god damn reason. "What do you want Tom?" Her tone normally bitter.

"Nothin'," I got out. An uncomfortable silence followed that.

Hope didn't make conversation, small talk. She never learned you were supposed to. Not her fault or anything. Her boyfriend on the other hand - he could probably pull any three words out of his ass and make someone talk about it for an hour.

That's exactly what he did.

"Did you get to meet Claudius?" He asked, which was a bizarre bunch of words to string together.

"No," I answered. "Didn't he go on that trip with you and almost got you all killed?"

Andor immediately went to look back at his grandfather - who was struggling to figure out which color his chess pieces were. "That's - um - why I was curious," He stammered out. "Sorry."

Even Hope felt guilty and she hadn't said anything.

"Nah, it's fine," I quickly said. I needed to be aware of exactly what I was saying, and that I wouldn't offend anyone. "All I know is that he can't do shit."

I glanced up at Hope. She picked at the hangnail on her thumb, almost bored to the point of twiddling her thumbs.

"Shouldn't you know that? He's your grandfather too, isn't he?" I asked.

"Fuck that," Hope mumbled. I could barely hear her since she started to bite at her thumb. "They're all crazy."

"Just like you."

She shot me a dirty look.

"Oh your father was!" Spark exclaimed, waking up Andor who was close to dosing off.

Hope and I both expected the crazy old man was talking about the king. We all knew the King. Everyone knew he was batshit, especially Andor.

"His name was Titus. No one called him that, of course. It sounds like his parents named him to be a god," Spark shrugged. I was shocked his frail body could do that. "Your mother called called him Ty, I believe. At least that's what I've been told."

He pointed to Hope, and all at once we realized that Spark was not speaking about his son. "They used to have portraits up before the incident. You look lots like her."

"My mom?" Hope asked. She already knew.

Spark shook his head. He finally picked up a pawn, ready to move into battle. "Blonde, pretty, smart, and stubborn as all hell, just like her husband. Ty loved her more than himself, and he went crazy when she was gone." He hovered the pawn over one spot, biting his lip and concentrating where to put it.

Hope almost slide off of the landscaping boulder she was sitting on, literally on the edge of seat. Even though she had almost toppled over she needed more answers. The same curious glint in her brown eyes. Maybe it was the same way her mom used to look?

"What happened to him?" She asked. "Like what did he do?"

"Hm," Spark let out. "Well he went insane. He drank a whole lot at first and smoked, which I expected from him. Then he suddenly stopped."

Hope didn't let the silence continue. "What do you mean, stop?"

"He wouldn't bathe or eat or drink. He didn't leave his room. Didn't rule his country. Didn't do anything. We were surprised he was still alive," Spark said.

"So you were here close to when my mom died?" Hope asked, her eyes aimed at the old man. "When she left me?"

"Oh no!" Spark quickly corrected himself. "Oh excuse me! No. She had been for eight years by then. One day he just lost it. I guessed the stress had finally broke him. Couldn't even imagine what it would be like if my wife was gone."

Andor got paler, hearing his grandfather so casually talk about Ianite. As if she was alive. Hope looked sick for different reasons.

I still had one more question. "How did he survive?" I asked.

"He didn't for long," Spark said casually. "Starved in a week or two."

"Yeah, but still, that's awhile for him to be alive on nothing," I said.

"Not nothing! He drank lots of what he had."

I started to stand up straight. How did he drink if he never drank? It had to just be the ravings of an old man.

But just to make sure. "What did he have?" I asked.

"Blood," Spark answered, frankly. "He drank his own blood from a syringe."

I stared at Sparks shaking hand as I tried to comprehend what he had said. I remembered what Liberty had. His crazy conspiracy. Maybe the Carnage hadn't done anything? Maybe something else was taking nephilim blood?

He placed the pawn down finally, one space ahead. "Checkmate!" He yelled out. He laughed. "You'll have to try harder. In time you'll get better."

Andor held his head. "That's not how the game works-"

"You have over a million years to learn! You will be fine. I'm not going to be here for that long boy."

"I," Andor gave up, shoveling both of his hands through his hair. "Yes. I have much to learn."

I continued to think about all the students in the institute, and about what Liberty has seen on their arms. I couldn't let one kid die, even if it did end up being a fake story that an old man made up.

"I got to go!"

Sometimes I woke up again.

I always was there, in the back of my head. The part of me that was me. They couldn't kill that without killing me, so it stayed.

I watched from the outside of my own body as I trained his army and led his troops. I replaced the old, and as soon as he was done using me as a pawn I would be replaced too. A small part of me said to stay new and shiny - not to get dented and warn - but the other part of me was screaming to leave.

Sometimes I woke up.