By

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When I was eleven, I would hate talking to my friends. All they did was ramble on about boyfriends and love. for some reason I felt different. But I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and I never really cared about it. I'd try to not think about it but the subject of boyfriends would always come up. Even at home. At tea my older sister would tease me about the boy next door who I apparently had a crush on. I had no clue what LGBTQ was. How was I supposed to know how wrong they all were?

I'd never fallen for anyone so I had no clue what a crush felt like.

Then it hit me hard. I'd been talking to a girl for a few months. We were best friends. Knew what we liked and what we hated. And soon I felt something more towards her. But again, I pushed it away.

I knew already about gay people but I'd always been raised up like it was a bad thing. When you're at school and all you hear is faggot everyday you would! I didn't realise I liked the same gender but I knew I wasn't the same as everyone else.

The girl I liked was also gay and this is around the time I started messing around on wattpad.

I found out about the LGBTQ community but I still wasn't convinced I was a lesbian.

When I truly realised was when I was messing around reading comments and the girl admitted to her other friend.. She had a girlfriend.

By this point people were guessing that I liked her and some people went and told her I liked her.

And she ignored me for months on end.

It was heartbreaking. So much so My family started to think id developed bipolar. I would go days happy then snap with stress and depression.

Thankfully I overcame it.

I started making new friends and focused on school and my social circle.

I'm still a single pringle but at least im a happy one

And I finally came out to my family.

I'd got to the point I was so ok with who I was I didn't care if they liked me or not because it wouldn't change me.

I was out to everyone I knew and I became friends with the girl I liked again. Just friends.

If she ever wanted to date me I'd say yes but for the meantime I'm just enjoying talking to her again.

And I'm not asking her out again. Not because I'm afraid of getting rejected but I'm afraid to stop talking. To my family. To my close friends. To the girl I used to like.