By

~

I live in rural Arkansas. A place where God is greater than the government, and adapting to new world views is ridiculous.

What a great place to be LGBTQ+!

I didn't realize that I was anything but straight and cis until I actually heard about the LGBTQ+ community. I was raised by homophobes, and I was homophobic too- until I realized that I liked girls.

I was sexually attracted to girls.

F*ck.

I first identified as ace/aro, but quickly realized that that was not the case.

I had a crush on my best friend, who was bi and liked me back. So we were unofficial girlfriends. Completely secret, of course. She even kissed me at a school dance! We'd already come out to everyone but our families, but decided not to announce our relationship due to homophobia. She identifies as lesbian now. Our friendship isn't doing so good, as she continues to flirt even though I have a boyfriend.

This summer, I was really struggling with my gender identity. I felt male, female, and agender- all at once. So, I took a quiz online to see if there was a gender that fit me.

Demigirl.

Partially, but not fully female. To keep things simple, I'll say that I'm 60% female, 30% male, 10% agender. My family does not know about my gender identity. They found my LGBTQ+ board on Pinterest. They were not very happy.

I don't give a crap.

I didn't tell them that I'm a demigirl, or that I'm actually pansexual.

I don't need to. My friends accept me and love me. My boyfriend loves me. I love myself. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not because some people are too weak to deal with it. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of the LGBTQ+ community.

I'd like to say to anyone out there who is closeted or judged for being out, keep going. We will continue to fight. Things will get better! We will make things better.

And I can't wait for when things are better.