Journal nine:

I've decided to make a series of letters to my friends, seeing as I probably won't survive this. If you aren't one of the ones addressed in the letters, what the fuck are you doing?! Don't read them ya sausage! Anyways, these will be in two books, this one, and journal ten, which I'll write later, hopefully before emerges.

Dear nade,

Hey man, I know we've had our ups and downs, but even so, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you. Honestly man, I admired you from the start. The way that you'd do anything, and I mean anything, for your god, when I doubted everything I was assigned, made me look up to you. I don't think Dianite realises that. But hey, on the bright side, when I'm gone, you'll be promoted to champion! How great is that?! I don't expect you to forgive me, and heck, I probably wouldn't forgive me either, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making extra work for you, I'm sorry for betraying Dianite, and I'm sorry for not being back at that island kicking ass with ya. I love ya man, and I'll really miss ya.

Goodbye ya loyal sausage!!!

Dear tony and josh,

This is gonna be really hard to write...I can practically hear you screaming at me for being a traitor as I'm writing this...I know already that no matter what I do, no matter what I say, you guys won't forgive me for betraying Dianite...to be honest, I wish it were you guys in this situation. You always carried on about how you would love to be possessed by Dianite, so you could wreak destruction and havoc. Just happened to be me he wanted...Your dedication is something I always admired, something I never had...I'm relying on you two to keep the Mianitees in check, and make sure they don't have their way 24/7. I'll miss you guys...

Goodbye, ya penguin and cross eyed sausages!

Dear Sonja,

Hey sonj, this letter is one of the hardest I'll have to write, and I can feel myself tearing up. GET BACK IN THERE TEARS!!! I have so much to apologise for, and only one page of paper. So, I'm sorry, for stealing your shit, painting your house red, hiding your shit, burning your farm down, burning your shit, defacing your house, replacing your shit with coal, flooding your house, pranking you every day, and stealing your dog. Yep, that's right, it was me, and I told you he was dead. Don't worry, he's safe in my basement with endless food and water, and yeah, I'm sorry ok! I couldn't resist! And, you know that time where I spilt lava on your chests, and told you the stuff was fine? Well, I lied. I begged someone to keep you occupied while I ran wild around the island, trying to get your items replaced. So, I used up, in total, 29 diamonds, 16 gold blocks, 2 apples, 210 levels, and 8 hours of my time, trying to get your items back. You're fucking welcome! Anyway, I'm counting on you to keep tucker in line for me, and stop the others from doing anything stupid. I'll really miss you sonja, and I can never thank you enough for being my friend...

I'll really miss you, and goodbye, ya foxy sausage!

The other letters will be in the next book, but anyway, I have to go put this one away, and I'll have to hurry, seeing as it's almost dusk.

Later ya sausages!