Every teenager knows this moment.

The moment when the crowd of people you're with goes deathly silent; everyone's eyes are darting between the two people who are about to do one of two things.

They're either about to fight with their words, or they're about to fight with their fists.

The air is thick with tension, like you can feel the energy in the air. Its equal parts dread and excitement, unless... unless you're someone who's praying for fists, or someone who's praying for words. You can tell instantly by their facial expressions who's hoping for what. Like Samuel, for example. He was only filled with excitement, because it was clear as day he was hoping for fists. He had a calm smile on his face, he was leaned back against the wall of Polly's mansion. His one hand was in his pocket, the other one was bringing a cigarette to his lips.

And, for someone who was hoping for words... well, I'm not sure what my face looked like. I knew what it felt like, though. I felt the way my eyes were opened wide, I felt the way my cheeks were pulling down. I felt the way I had one hand laying on my chest and the other one hovering in the air as if I could simply wave my hand and stop the two of them from saying or doing anything further.

I couldn't, though. We all knew that, I couldn't stop them.

"Stay out of it," Jesse ordered, and he didn't even turn towards Roman, he was still glaring in my direction. I wasn't meeting his eye, however. I didn't want to see what was hiding in his eyes, I didn't want to see his chosen emotion that he thought justified his cruel words.

"No, I won't," Roman said quickly, his voice was low like subdued thunder. Though it wasn't the loud, crackling bang that made you jump out of your skin, it still made you nervous. "You can't talk to her that way."

"I don't know if you forgot, but Lilly is my girlfriend. Actually, I know you haven't forgotten because I've reminded you of that fact about fifty times," Jesse sneered, and miraculously he moved his eyes away from me. He looked towards Roman now, and I didn't have to ponder the emotion in his eyes this time; he was furious. "Which means, I can talk to her however I damn-well please."

I heard the soft gasps of the girls in crowds at his words, and I knew why they were let go from their mouths. Everyone thought Jesse was the sweetest boy in school. That's the thing about Jesse and I, we're both wearing masks. Mine might be painted with lies, but his was too.

Roman's eyes narrowed, as though he couldn't believe the words that came out of Jesse's mouth. He wasn't smiling like the last time they had argued, he wasn't laughing or chuckling. No, this time, his mouth was formed in a hard pressed line.

"I knew you were slow," Roman told him, taking a step forward, "but are you really that pathetic to think you can speak to a girl like that? It doesn't matter if it's your girlfriend, or not. You don't speak to any woman like that."

"And what? I'm supposed to listen to someone like you? I don't think so, buddy. "This doesn't involve you, this involves me and my bitch," Jesse jerked his head towards me in reference.

I closed my eyes as he let the last word escape, not because my feelings were hurt, or because I was in disbelief that he would call me that. Quite the contrary, actually, I wasn't in disbelief at all, he'd called me that word many times before. I closed my eyes because I knew everyone would turn to me, pity in their eyes but also curiosity. I didn't want either, I didn't want them to feel bad for me while simultaneously silently begging for the details they would never get.

I opened my eyes again when I heard Roman speak, knowing that everyone else would look to him too, desperate not to miss the show. Roman looked like a different person now, he looked like how the sky looks before it starts to unleash a dangerous and untameable storm, yet there's no rain falling just yet. It's a miserable grey and it's almost like you can feel the elements begin to swirl in the clouds, creating the unpredictable weather pattern. He looked calm, for the moment. But as equally as he looked calm, he looked dangerous.

"I suggest you take that word back, and apologize to Lilac," Roman said, and he sounded like he was having to use all his energy to restrain the emotion in his voice.

"Apologize?" Jesse began to laugh, looking like Roman had just told him something hilarious. "You're joking right? I'm not apologizing for shit, and what are you going to do about it? Make me? No, I didn't-"

Jesse's annoyingly arrogant voice was cut off, however, his disgusting words never finishing his disturbing sentence. He let out a disgruntled sound, instead, because Roman's fist hit squarely in the jaw.

I watched Jesse instantly fall to the ground, just like I had watched Roman's opponent fall to the floor of the ring in his fight. Though, I didn't watch with a distant intrigue this time. I watched it with shock brewing in my gut, and although that shock was exploding in my body it was combined with something else. It was a different emotion entirely, and one that I frankly didn't want to evaluate any further.

Instead, I took one last look at Jesse's limp body slumped on the concrete. There was blood pooling from his lip, his eyes were shut and his mouth was open slightly. Brett was hunched over him now, smacking his face as though he was trying to wake him up. I felt that unnamed emotion brew inside me once again, stronger this time, almost overcoming the shock completely, and I turned on my heel.

I didn't listen to the mutters and the whispers as I walked by the endless amount of people that had just witnessed that awfully embarrassing situation. I didn't listen to Clara's voice as she called my name, and I didn't listen to Brett's, either. I only walked, because I couldn't keep my poker-face of emotionless perched on my face any longer, and I needed somewhere it could fall off. I needed to rip my mask of lies off, just for a moment, just so I could breathe.

Once I was back in the house, I walked quickly to the office that Roman had pulled me into earlier, knowing it would likely be empty. I pulled the door open, breathing a sigh of relief when I realized I had been right. Though, it seems in the movies, there's always someone kissing in the abandoned library of the rich person's party, once again, the movies aren't real life.

I gathered my face in my hands, pressing my fingers against the sides of my temples as if I could evade the throbbing headache I knew was on its way. I sighed out loud as I tried to relax my body, and my mind. It didn't work though, because my mind only wanted to do one thing. It wanted to replay the image of Jesse being knocked out over and over and over.

"Lilac!" I heard his voice at the same time I heard the door being opened. I groaned as I threw my head back in exasperation. Didn't he understand? The reason I ran away from everyone to a room by myself was because I, in fact, wanted to be by myself.

"Are you okay?" Roman's words came out rushed, like he didn't take a breath between them. I didn't remove my hands from my face, and I didn't turn to look at him.

"What do you think?" I muttered, shaking my head, "none of that needed to happen."

"You're right, he shouldn't have spoken to you like that," Roman said, thinking he was agreeing with me.

"He shouldn't have? Roman, you shouldn't have! You started this. All night you've been egging him on, trying to get a reaction out of him. Or, maybe, you were just trying to get a reaction out of me. And then, you hit him! Look what you did!" I practically yelled at him, tearing my hands away from my eyes so I could look at him.

He didn't look how I expected him to look, ashamed that he had caused this embarrassment for me. He looked confused, and he looked pissed off again.

"Look what I did?" Roman repeated, tilting his head at me, "Lilac, did you not hear the way he was talking to you? My only option was to hit him. I don't take that shit lightly, I don't let men get away with treating girls like that, ever."

"He wouldn't have spoken to me like that if you hadn't pissed him off all night," I argued, feeling the scowl on my face as I looked at Roman.

"Look, I'm sorry that I pushed him, Lilac. But, I didn't think it would end up like this! With him yelling at you, talking about you like that, calling you a bitch? That's... that's not okay, Lilac. I ran after you because I thought you would be a mess, I thought you would be devastated that he spoke to you like that," Roman took a step closer to me, still looking at me like I wasn't making sense.

I was stunned into panic again, it's the panic that comes when someone is dangerously close to finding out your lies.

"I am devastated," I tried my best to sound like it as I said the words.

"You're not, Lilac," Roman dismissed my words.

"Yes, I am," I turned away from him again, hoping that if he didn't see my face, he couldn't see my lies. I couldn't pretend to be devastated, because my body was still feeling the unnamed emotion that came from watching Jesse fall to the ground. Though, I knew what it was now. It wasn't unnamed anymore. It was relief, and it was filling my body like I was a car with an empty tank and it was gasoline.

"No, you're not. You're not devastated, you're not upset. You don't even seem like you're surprised. In fact, it seems like you're used to it," Roman continued, and I heard him take another step closer.

I didn't answer this time, not trusting my voice because I was feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion take over me, like when the singular cloud in the sky moves, and in a split second of suddenness you're bathed in sunlight.

"You're not... you're not used to it. Right, Lilac?" Roman sounded hesitant, like he didn't know if he really wanted to hear the answer to that question. "Tell me you're not used to it."

I felt his hand on my shoulders, he used a gentle pressure to spin me around. I saw the look of concern fill his eyes as he looked at my face, and the stream of tears leaving my eyes.

"Tell me you're not used to it," Roman repeated.

And, for the first time since that night happened, I couldn't lie.