By the time Monday came, I was exhausted.

Which didn't make sense, considering I had barely moved from my bed all day yesterday. My body felt heavy, just like my eyelids. The thought of something so simple, like getting out of bed to feed myself, felt like a mission that was simply not worth the effort.

So, I laid in between my soft pink blankets all day. Dozing in and out of consciousness. Drifting back and forth between the dream world and reality. My mom peeked her head into my room every couple of hours, placing her smooth hand on my forehead. Probably checking my temperature, it was second nature for her, since she was a nurse.

Maybe I was getting sick. Like mono.

"You look like shit." Jesse said as I opened his car door. He insisted on picking me up every morning and driving me to school. He said that everyone would know something was wrong if he didn't. I barely looked at him as I slid into the passenger seat. I didn't need to look at his face to know what expression he was wearing. He was wearing the same look he wore when I told him I wanted to wear a green dress to homecoming last year. He wore the same expression when I got bangs without telling him first in the summer. It was a look of disgust, but since it was hidden under his gorgeous features, I guess he thought he could away with it.

And he was right. He could.

"Yeah." I muttered to him, staring at my hands that were placed on my lap. I know I didn't look good today. I couldn't muster up the energy to actually try. I couldn't muster up the energy to care.

"Would it kill you to make an effort, Lilly?" Jesse said swiftly as he started driving to our school. "You know you're gorgeous. Any of the girls at our school would kill to look like you, but you waste it because you don't put any effort in. Even when you wear makeup, it just looks like you did the bare minimum."

I bobbed my head to his words. They didn't surprise me. They barely even hurt my feelings anymore. I was used to him. I was used to Jesse. I was used to him hiding a compliment under a blanket of insults. It used to make my heart flutter when he did it, even though it simultaneously made me want to cry. Not anymore though. The last thing I wanted was a compliment from Jesse.

"Not to mention, Lilly, how is it supposed to reflect on me when my girlfriend shows up to school wearing sweat pants?" Jesse flicked my knee with his large fingers as he said the words, causing the skin to sting under said sweat pants.

"You know the answer to that, right? Find a new girlfriend." I muttered at him, casting my eyes on the blurring mixed greens of the trees outside the car window.

"We both know I can't do that." Jesse chimed out, seemingly unaffected by my words. "Besides, we look good together... don't you think? I wish you would just drop the bitchy attitude. Just relax, about everything."

Jesse seemed like he was waiting for me to say something, but I had nothing to say, so I didn't. I was anxiously watching the world outside the car, noting how far away we were from the school. I didn't want to be around Jesse anymore.

"We should give us another try." Jesse surprised me by saying, and I whipped my head towards him, praying I misheard him.

"Why the fuck would we do that?" I asked him, the contempt I felt for him clear as day in the tone of my voice. Jesse didn't turn to look at me, he just simply stared out at the road in front of him.

"I just said why. We look good together. I'm hot, you're hot. You're a good fuck." Jesse's voice was calm and collected, as if he wasn't trying to be as offensive as possible. Which might be true, I'm not sure if means to be offensive or if he's just that much of an asshole.

"When I broke up with you, I meant it." I told him, trying to keep my voice steady. I knew what Jesse was capable of, after all. He had a temper.

"You were just confused because of what happened." Jesse told me.

"No, I wasn't. I don't want to be with you. I would have broken up with you, even if that night didn't happen." I gritted out, wishing more than anything that we were going slow enough that I could open the door and step out of the car without hurting myself.

"Listen, Lilly." Jesse said slowly as he placed his hand on my thigh. I stared down at it in disgust, but I didn't try to remove it. I knew by the tone of his voice that I was wading into dangerous territory. I felt my leg tense up, however. It wasn't often that Jesse used that tone. I didn't hear it until at least six months into our relationship. I tested it then. I knew the consequences now.

"It would be easy to place the blame that night, you know. Brett, Khalil and I have a lot of weight in our words. You know that, right?" Jesse looked over at me as he asked me, his eyes narrowed. He squeezed the hand that was still on my thigh, and my face scrunched up as I felt the slight pain that edged out on my skin beneath his fingertips.

"Of course you do." He continued as if he wasn't waiting for an answer. He was right. I did know that they would be easily believed. In our city, they were almost gods. Thanks to the State Championship they had brought home last year. Not to mention Brett, who was the son of the police chief. "So just maybe, Lilly, you should consider my words more carefully before just dismissing them."

I nodded, wincing slightly as his grip around my thigh grew sharper. I knew better than to argue with him when he was acting like this.

"Yeah? Say it." Jesse said sternly.

"Okay, I'll think about it." I said as gently as I could muster. Even though I wanted to curse his ass out.

"Good girl." He said, removing his hand from my body instantly. I could feel the tension that he was throwing in to air dissipate as he got his way. That was how it always went. Everything was great when Jesse got what he wanted, but the second he didn't... watch out.

"You know I didn't do anything, right?" I asked quietly as we pulled into the school parking lot. "I didn't do anything that night, and neither did Clara. We told you guys not to do it, but you didn't listen."

"Yeah. I know. But you were there, so you're just as much a part of it as we are." Jesse said as he pulled into an empty parking space. I looked around at all of the kids, leaning against their cars and loitering in the parking lot. So carefree, they were.

"Who would they believe, Lilly? Everyone sees you and Clara for what you are. Sluts. Hot, maybe even beautiful depending on the day, but sluts all the same. Do you really think anyone would take either of you seriously?" Jesse's tone was cold again.

I didn't bother to answer. I just flung the door open, quickly climbing out of the car and slamming it behind me. I didn't look back as I started to walk through the crowds of kids. I focused on willing the tears in my eyes to evaporate instead. Jesse was right after all, no one would believe Clara and I over the boys. Especially not Brett.

I grabbed a hold of Clara's hand as I walked up to her locker. She let out a small gasp of surprise as I pulled her away, leading her into the girls bathroom, but she didn't protest further. I let go of her hand when we reached the line of porcelain white sinks. I left her standing in confusion as I pushed all of the doors to the stalls open, confirming that we were alone.

"Lilly?" Clara said, the concern audible in her voice. "Babe, what's going on?"

I walked back to her once I opened the door of the last stall. I turned the tap on, and splashed cold water on my face.

"Jesse." I said simply. Clara knew how he was. She knew how his words could rattle me. She didn't know everything, but she knew enough.

"What did he say now?" She asked as she rubbed my arm in comfort.

I rolled my eyes, pausing in the middle of the action to stare up at the ceiling. I was still trying to prevent the tears from spilling over.

"A lot." I said simply, accepting defeat and running my bent finger under my eyes to wipe the stray tears away. Clara didn't say anything, as she waited for me to explain.

"He wants to get back together." I said finally, continuing to splash the water against my face, in hopes that it was erase the red patches that had appeared.

"Well, that's no surprise. He's clearly still in love with you. I figured that was the reason he was so insistent on pretending you two are still together." Clara said, her voice was calm but I could hear the undercurrent of anger.

"Clara." I said, turning to her. "He implied that if I didn't do what he wanted, he would tell people that we did everything that night."

I watched Clara's face as I said the words, I expected shock. I expected panic. I expected anger and disgust. I expected fear.

But, I only saw shock. After shock, Clara looked like she was stuck on a hard math problem. She quickly turned around, dropping my arm and looking at her reflection in the mirror. She pretended to fix her hair, but I could tell that the movements were just for show.

"Clara?" I narrowed my eyes at her strange actions. I raised my eyebrows at her, making eye contact with her in the mirror. Eventually, I think she understood that her behaviour had given her away, because she turned back to face me.

Clara sighed, before a look of shame popped up on her face. "How do you think Brett convinced me to end up in his bed on Saturday night?"

"No." I was shocked. "Brett said the same thing?"

Clara nodded, confirming my words. I looked at my best friend, the panic started to rise in my chest.

What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?