《I Accidentally Summoned a Demon》Chapter 39: Love Always Perseveres
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Nex peered out the window as if that would really help him if someone came for them, for Katherine. He felt more vulnerable now than he ever had in his life. It was as if basic senses were missing. He couldn't hear as well, couldn't move as fast, wasn't as strong, couldn't smell as well. He didn't realize how terrible human senses were compared to what he was used to.
Still, every sound he could hear put him on edge, so much he'd barely done anything except keep watch ever since Lilith was here. He'd hardly slept and the combination of lack of sleep and stress of what could happen was making him short-tempered, which was why Kat opted to sit in another room while he moved between all the windows in the house.
A small creak on the floorboard, not enough to really mean anything but enough to make Nex anxious, sounded in their bedroom and he rushed in, finding Kat kneeling on the floor in front of her bed with her hands together and eyes closed, murmuring so quietly he couldn't make out was she was saying.
"Please do not tell me you're doing what I think you're doing," Nex said, narrowing his eyes.
"I'm not asking you to do it with me," Kat said calmly, keeping her eyes closed as she continued murmuring.
"You really think any sort of higher power is going to help us?" Nex snapped.
Kat took a deep breath and opened her eyes, staring at the bible she left on her bed. She looked over at Nex and sighed. "I've never pushed my faith on you. I'd appreciate it if you respected that I have that faith, even if you don't," she said, slowly standing. "I think you need some sleep. It's been days, Nex."
"You think I can sleep right now?" Nex scoffed. "Someone has to do something more than praying to a being that isn't listening."
"You don't know that," Kat frowned. "You're just angry and I understand why you're angry but-"
"That being you're praying to would've let you die," Nex hissed. "It's their angels that are here."
"The God I believe in is a God of love," Kat said. "Maybe I didn't die because you were there, because the timing worked out a little perfectly, don't you think? If the demon would've just killed me instead of throwing me over the bridge, you wouldn't have had a chance to get to me. If you'd come a few seconds later, I would've died. So what was it that made Lucian suddenly aware of the angels presence so that you could come to me just in time?"
"How can you still be so fucking naïve?" Nex snapped.
"Nex," Kat said, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry everything is a mess and I'm sorry that you're scared but how is getting upset with me going to help?" She pointed out. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to sit by the windows and doors like you do, waiting for something bad to happen? How does that help us?"
"How does praying help us?" Nex countered.
"I don't know," Kat admitted. "Except that I have faith."
"Faith," Nex laughed humorlessly. "That's certainly helped you out in your life so far."
"Don't do this," Kat said, her face crumpling. "Don't fight with me and say mean things because you don't know what else to do. Don't try to push me away because you're scared. Do you really think pushing me away is going to make it hurt less if something happens?"
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"It's not an if, it's a when," Nex said, narrowing his eyes. "Something is going to happen. Lilith doesn't make empty threats."
"Okay, something is going to happen," Kat shrugged. She was tired. She was so tired from everything that happened and she didn't know what to do but she did know she didn't want her possibly last moments with him to be like this. "But you can't do anything," she pointed out. "And neither can I. It's out of our hands and getting upset-"
She paused at the sound of the doorbell. Nex tensed, and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. A few seconds later there was a knock and Kat went towards the door but Nex held her back. "No," he growled. "No one comes in."
"Nex," Kat said, pulling free of his grip and crossing her arms. "If it was an angel, or a demon, or someone here to hurt us, do you really think they'd ring the doorbell?"
"It could be a trap," Nex argued.
"Can't you walk through walls?" Kat pointed out, setting her hands on her hips. "Uriel was strong enough to make all the other demons take a knee, do you really think us not answering the door is going to stop a supernatural being from getting in here?"
Nex opened his mouth to speak but stopped. She had a point. It didn't stop him from being suspicious of what was on the other side of the door. Another knock came and Kat walked into the living room with Nex following closely behind her. She peeked out the peephole and Nex set his hands on her hips, ready to pull her back and away from the door.
"It's a friend," Kat said, looking back at him. "It's just a friend. Give me a minute, okay?"
"What? No," Nex growled. "Demons can take different forms unless you're forgetting the one that almost killed you."
"My previous point still stands," Kat said. "If it's a demon, he's getting in here either way. He knows we're vulnerable. Me not answering the door will not stop anything from happening."
"Katherine..." Nex whimpered.
"Nex," Kat said, turning to face him, setting her hands on his face. "We've been locked in this house for eleven days," she said, frowning. "I've called into work, I've missed church, I haven't spoken to anyone and everyone is worried sick about us. And for what? If I'm a target, I'm a target," she said. "There's nothing I can do about that now. But I will not spend the last moments I have alive fighting and bickering with the man I love and isolating from the people I care about and waiting to die. I'm not going to do that," she said, opening the front door and stepping out, closing it behind her.
Nex tensed as the door closed and approached the door, listening carefully. He heard talking but that was it. No screams. At least, not yet. He peered through the peephole and his eyes widened. She was with a man just as tall as Nex but admittedly more muscular. To make matters worse, they were hugging. It was a very long hug that wasn't seeming to end. Nex's eyes narrowed and he reached for the door knob, twisting it at the same time Kat did to come back inside.
Kat stepped in and shrugged. "See? It was nothing."
"Nothing?" Nex repeated doubtfully, his eyes starting to glow, something Kat noticed always happened when he was angry.
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"What's wrong?" She frowned, setting her hand on his arm.
"What's wrong?" Nex repeated, narrowing his eyes and stepping away from her. "Who was the man?"
"Outside just now?" She asked, earning a curt nod from Nex. "Um, that was Jeremiah," Kat said, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
"That's Jeremiah?" Nex asked. Jeremiah was the one she mentioned before about helping Bernice move the couch. The marine. The marine who she was going to call for help.
"Yes," Kat said, her brows furrowing. "Are you... Mad at me?"
"Shouldn't I be?" Nex asked, cocking his head to the side. "Why did he not only have his hands on you but you were allowing it? Why was he here?"
"It was just a hug," Kat frowned. "And he was here because I've been missing and not responding to him and he was worried," Kat shrugged.
"Not responding?" Nex said, narrowing his eyes. "Meaning he's been texting you?"
"Well, yeah..." Kat said, furrowing her brows. "He's just a friend and I've been helping him with-"
"I don't want you to text him," Nex snapped. "I don't want anyone touching you except me," he said, setting his hands on her waist and pulling her against him. "You're mine," he said, his eyes narrowing. "Are you forgetting who you belong to, kitten? Should I remind you?" He asked, lowering his lips to hers.
Except Kat turned her head before their lips met and set her hands on his chest, pushing him back and stepping away. "No," she said sternly. "Why are you so mad at me? I didn't do anything wrong. Jeremiah is just a friend and he's going through some personal stuff. He doesn't have a lot of friends, Nex. He's shy like me, he's not good at making friends."
"I don't want any other man touching you," Nex growled. "You're mine. Just mine. No one else gets to touch you, I don't give a fuck if it's just a hug."
"What do you think me belonging to you and being yours means?" Kat asked, crossing her arms. "Because I thought it meant that in terms of intimacy, you're mine and I'm yours and there's no one else involved. But right now you're treating me like your property which is not how you treat someone you love. Why are you so jealous?"
"How would you like it if I brought Arda here and hugged her in front of you?" Nex snapped.
"I wouldn't mind," Kat shrugged, walking to the kitchen and grabbing the kettle. "Because you don't see her like that anymore and Arda sometimes needs a hug and you two are friends, so there's nothing wrong with that," she said as she filled the kettle with water. "I wouldn't have a problem with it and you shouldn't have a problem with me having a friend that happens to be a guy."
"I do have a problem with it, Katherine," Nex growled. "You can't see him again, I don't want him texting you and I certainly don't want him touching you again."
"Are you being serious?" Kat said, setting the kettle down and turning to face him, crossing her arms. "You're trying to tell me I can't see a friend?"
"I'm not trying to tell you, Katherine. I'm telling you it's not fucking happening again," Nex said.
"That's ridiculous," Kat said, throwing her arms up. "You can't tell me what to do and who to see. Don't you trust me?"
"It's not you I don't trust," Nex snapped. "It's everyone else I don't trust. You're mine," Nex growled. "All of you is mine. You belonging to me-"
"Does not mean you control me," Kat snapped, resting her hands on the counter and fixing him with a glare that caught him by surprise. "When I said that I belonged to you I meant that my romantic intimacy belongs to you and just you, I meant that my heart belongs to you because it does. When I said I belong to you it means the only person I want to be close to in the way we're close. You're the only one I want to fall asleep with and..." She blushed, darting her eyes away. "Be intimate with. But it does not mean that you control who I see and tell me who I'm allowed to be friends with or hug. That's not respectful at all and if we're together that means we respect each other," she said firmly, bringing her eyes back to his. "You really think I would hurt you like that? That I would just let someone else in and leave you? That hurts me, Nex," she said, shaking her head and turning away from him. "It hurts me that you think of me like property, that you think so low of me I'd ever do anything like that to hurt you. I'm not yours because I'm your property to control, I'm yours because you're the only one I want to be with and because my heart is yours," she said, turning the stove on and setting her kettle on the burner. "I'm a person Nex, not an object."
Nex frowned, surprised at her outburst. She usually stayed calm and when she didn't it was often only because he crossed a line. He couldn't help it. He was afraid to lose her and the fear was amplified with the new threat, with his inability to protect her like he normally could. The thought of losing her made him hurt in ways he didn't know he could but he knew it wasn't fair to put that insecurity on her.
Guilt crept in that he hurt her in any way, that he'd been snapping at her ever since the incident with Lilith, that he was doing exactly what she said. He was pushing her away, as if that would make it easier to lose her. He walked up behind her, turning the burner off and pulling her back against him.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry. You're right," he said, nuzzling in her hair. "I'm sorry, Katherine," he sighed, holding her tightly. "Can you forgive me?" He asked, turning her to face him.
"Are you going to throw a tantrum if you see me with Jeremiah again?" Kat asked, frowning.
"No," Nex sighed. "It won't happen again," he said, bringing his hand up to her face. "I'm just..." he started, running his fingers over her soft skin.
"Just what?" Kat asked, wrapping her arms around him.
"I don't want to lose you," Nex admitted. "I'm afraid of losing you."
"You're not going to lose me because of another guy," Kat said, her expression softening. "I told you, I only want to be with you. I wouldn't lie to you," she said, resting her head in his chest. "I'm yours, Nex. I can be yours and be my own person."
"I know," Nex sighed, hugging her tightly. "I just know I'm not good enough for you and I'm waiting for you to see it too. I'm waiting for you to do exactly what the angels want and walk away from me."
The moment the words left his mouth he realized what needed to happen. He had to let her go. Let her go, or let her get hurt. He stepped away from her, away from their embrace, feeling like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner.
"What does that even mean?" Kat sighed, looking up at him. "How do you measure if someone is good enough for something? Why do you even think about yourself like that?" She asked, setting her hand on his face. "Stop trying to measure up to some ambiguous standard you've set. If I say you're good for me, can't that be enough?"
"No," Nex said, shaking his head and taking her hand away from his face. "Don't you see? This is the way we make sure you don't get hurt," Nex said, his face crumpling. "We have to be apart from each other. If I leave, it might be enough to keep you out of it."
"Leave?" Kat frowned. "No. No, you're not leaving," she said, shaking her head. "How can you say that?"
"Katherine, I have to," he insisted. "It might be the only way to keep you from getting hurt."
"That's ridiculous," Kat said, reaching for his hand but he backed away. "Don't do this to me," Kat whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "Don't. You can't even leave without me giving you a name, you can't leave."
"I can't leave this realm but I can be away from you and that may be enough," Nex said, cupping her face. "The last thing I want to do is leave you," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "The only thing I want less than that is you getting hurt," he said, caressing her cheek before stepping back, away from her. "It's the only way I can ensure your safety."
"It doesn't ensure my safety," Kat argued, taking a step towards him. "You're doing it again. You're pushing me away and for nothing," Kat said, shaking her head. "You can't do anything. I can't do anything. You leaving would be a shot in the dark and I don't know what's going to happen," she said, throwing her arms up. "I don't know what's going to happen and it doesn't look good but I am so tired of waiting for them to take us away from each other and not having my last moments with you be good," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, holding her in the kiss, holding her as close to him as he could. "If we're going to lose each other it's going to be because of someone else," Kat breathed, breaking away from the kiss. "Not because you left me hoping for the best. That's ridiculous and you know it is. So instead of finding different ways to sit here and be afraid, can you just be with me and make it good as long as it lasts?" Kat asked, setting her hand on his face.
"I just don't want you to get hurt," Nex whispered, turning his head to kiss her palm. "I'm so sorry," he said shakily. "I'm so sorry I put you in danger like this."
"I'm not sorry," Kat said, shaking her head. "I would do it again if it meant getting to love you all over again," she said, pressing her forehead against his. "I spent months grieving over the fact that my dad and I had a stupid little fight before we left the house the day of the accident," she said, tears spilling out of her eyes. "And it was so stupid and little and it meant nothing and we made up but I still hurt because of that, because I spent twenty minutes being mad over something that didn't matter and that was twenty less minutes I got to have with my dad before I couldn't see him again," she said, shaking her head. "So I don't want my last twenty minutes, or last twenty days, or last whatever amount of time it is to be spent away from you and hurting. I want it to be spent with you, not checking the window every five seconds, not jumping at every sound. I just want to be with you and love you."
Nex sighed and brought a hand up behind her head, pulling her into a hard kiss that had her let out a noise of surprise. "Why are you so fucking perfect?" he murmured against her lips, cupping her face. "I'm sorry, Katherine. I never want to hurt you," he said, pressing his forehead against hers. "I don't know what to do," he admitted. "I've never been this vulnerable before."
"Well it's a first for both of us so how about instead of trying to pick fights with me we just take it on together?" Kat said, rubbing her thumb across his cheek. "And maybe it won't work out in our favor but at least we didn't give up on each other," she said, placing a kiss against his cheek, leaving her lips there and trying to memorize the feeling of being this close to him so she would never forget.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," Nex said, swallowing hard. "Seeing you with someone else..." he trailed off, making a face. "It wasn't easy but I don't want to hurt you."
"Trusting me would be a good way to avoid that," Kat said, sliding her hands to the back of his head. "Especially because Jeremiah is probably going to be spending more time with me and even here."
Nex stiffened, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine," he agreed. "Why?"
"Well," Kat said, stepping out of their embrace. "Because he's my friend and..."
"And what?" Nex frowned.
"And I'm setting him up with a guy from theater but it has to be discreet because Jeremiah isn't out yet so I may or may not have volunteered to let them have a date here so they wouldn't be stressed about someone seeing them together," Kat said quickly, giving Nex one of her smiles he cursed because they made him weak. "So... Remember how I was supposed to go help hand out the school supplies and lunches at school tomorrow?" Nex opened his mouth to argue and Kat stopped him, setting a finger against his lips. "Don't. Don't tell me we have to stay home. Can a demon or angel come in here no matter what? Is there any way that staying in this house actually means we're safer against people that can walk through walls?"
Nex closed his mouth. He wanted to argue. He wanted to say yes they were much safer at the house. Except they weren't. Locked doors and windows would do nothing to slow down anything that came for them. They weren't safe anywhere.
"I guess not," he conceded.
"Okay, then I'm going tomorrow," Kat said, watching him carefully.
"We're going tomorrow," he corrected, crossing his arms.
"And Jeremiah and Remy will be in the house while we're gone," Kat added. "I'm really hoping it works out," Kat sighed. "Because I already came up with their couple name."
"You what?" Nex asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Kat smiled. "It's Jeremy," she said, her smile growing. "Isn't it cute?"
"Cute," Nex repeated flatly. "You couldn't have mentioned he was gay before I got upset?" Nex grumbled.
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