Hey guys!! You're looking lovely today, I'm not sure what time you're reading this at just remember to stay positive, no negative thoughts xx

So there was a few malfunctions with the last chapter as a few of you could tell, Wattpad's servers are down so my statistics on the chapter are a little...off. But I hope it'll get back to normal soon.

Remember I love you

[Aspen-you can imagine who you like]

🚨TW: knives and bullying

On with the chapter...✨

**********

✨Emilia POV

Chorused screams and chants woke me up from my slumber, my arm was wrapped around Cassidy's arm with my head rested on his shoulder.

Comfortable.

What made me feel better was that it made me feel at home and welcome, he was a welcoming person and not to mention he was the kindest to me out of my brother's friends.

Looking around the room, I try to get my clear vision back from the previous blurry sight. Everyone sat around the glass table with cards in their hand and some money on the table.

What was I witnessing? An illegal bet or something?

"You lost, Blade, hand over the money," Aspen's voice makes my attention draw to her. She was laid sideways on the floor with a different attire from earlier, a shirt that was clearly too big for her and some joggers that were cuffed at the bottom and my fluffy socks.

HOLD ON A SECOND-

MY FLUFFY SOCKS, those are my socks and now I can't wear them again. They were pig printed with rubber grips on the bottom.

"Are you wearing my socks?" I croaked out trying to rub the sleepiness away from my eyes.

"No they're Blade's," she looks at the cards in front of her and the money in the other.

"Blade, did you steal my socks?"

"Yeah I did, go back to sleep, Emilia, you're tired."

He stands up and walks to the corner of the room and pull out a Harry Potter blanket, Hedwig patterns and wand patterns covered the blanket.

No doubt this was Diego's, I remember that day I slept in the library, he told me he was a reader.

Blade tucks the blanket around my shoulders and under my waist securing it in any tight spots.

"I still want my socks back," I mumble before twisting so my face is facing the the back of the sofa.

It was the last thing I heard before drifting back into my slumber, let the dreams about ice cream and cake commence...

***********

"

My eyes were stinging when I tried to open them fully but salty water dropped from my eyes as my lips trembled. Fresh, hot tears rolled down my cheek and down my throat.

I turn my red face away from all of the magnified faces and I bite my lips to stop myself from whimpering.

My throat tightened into a ball as my stomach twisted into a knot as I tried to hold in my tremors.

"I'm s-sorry," I turn my face back to look at them all, Cassidy was being treated by Axel.

I stand up and rush over to them to inspect the damage.

"I'm sorry, C-Cassidy," I cry out with my chin trembling and shaking, it was begging me to let out my cries.

"It's fine, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." He hugged my shoulders with his okay arm.

I wrap my arms around his torso and cry into his shirt.

"I hurt you, I'm so s-so sorry, I'm a bad person I could've killed you." I cry out.

"But you didn't, not only that, it was a small cut there's no need to cry," he laughs trying to comfort me.

"But I could've killed you, I-I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive, you didn't do anything wrong," his hand is on the lower part of my back and the other is being handled by Axel.

I peer you into his multicoloured eyes, my eyes were glistening with tears to see he had sympathy trapped in them.

"Don't apologise, you're okay that's all that matters, I'm not in pain."

"Who is shouting? Are you coming back into the room, Blade?" Jayden and Josh both walk in the kitchen with puzzlement on their face.

I turn around to hide my numb, red face and my eyes immediately look to the floor at the glass shattered and the knife that had a little blood on the tip.

My guilt was eating me alive, I hurt Cassidy - the only one of my brother's friends who has been nice to me from the start and I hurt him. I can never forgive myself.

"Is everyone okay?" I hear Aspens voice squeak at the entrance, I push the tears from my eyes and swallow my sobs because I turn back around.

Sniffing up, I stand there awkwardly fiddling with the sleeve of my shirt, speaking of, I was still dressed in my clothes from earlier.

"Yeah just go back into the living room, Asp," Blade orders her.

"Yeah okay, are you guys coming?"

"I'll be there in a minute, Asp, just go please." Blade reassures her and shuts the door behind her.

"I guess that's my time to leave too," Kelsey breaks the silence, I thought she left already.

"I thought I told you to leave," Blade growled.

"And miss this psycho trying to kill Cassidy? No, there's no way I would miss this." She laughs.

"Get out please, Kelsey," Elijah asks politely but there was anger in his voice.

"Fine I'm going," she storms out of the room leaving it in painful silence.

At a rapid pace, I open all of the cupboards in search of sweeping brush to clean the glass up from the floor. The sharp jagged edges were swimming in water.

When I find one I get down on my hands and knees to start sweeping it all up.

"Don't do that, Emilia," Blade pulls me back up by my arm and away from the glass.

"Elijah will do it, won't you?" Blade asks him.

"Yeah sure, just get everyone out of here." Blade nods to show his understanding before guiding me out of the room with Cassidy, Jayden and Josh, I forgot Jayden and Josh we're still there.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as I look into Cassidy's eyes.

"I told you, stop apologising, it doesn't even hurt. I'm more concerned about you, you could've hurt yourself more than you hurt me," he ruffles my hair.

"What t-time is it?" I rub away my tears and choke on my words.

"12:14 AM, just past your bedtime," Blade tells me as he pulls his cracked phone out from his pocket.

"Please, d-don't make me go to sleep," I cry out, it was the last thing I wanted to do, I didn't want to return.

"That's up to Elijah and Axel, Alessandro is still at work right now so you might have a chance of staying up," just as Blade finishes his speech, Axe walks out of the kitchen with a clear bag of glass in his hand.

"I heard my name."

"Emilia wants to stay up a little longer, is that okay?" Blades asks with a hopeful tone, his mood completely changed from earlier.

"Uhh...fine but not too long," he warns us, I give a small smile because it's all I could afford right now, if I did anything else I would defiantly break down.

I walk back into the living room hiccuping and sniffing up to stop my nose from running like a tap.

"Crying again?" Kelsey mocks me.

"Remember whose house you're in, Kelsey." Diego says rudely to her.

I sit down in my original seat with my legs crossed and a blanket draped over my shoulders.

Once everyone had made their way back into the room, there wasn't much talking, just the low sound of Labrinth playing in the background, I love his music, it's very relaxing.

"Can we continue with the game?" Luca asks with the bowl of chocolate in his hand, you greedy shît.

"Yeah sure, how much are you putting in the pot?" Blade asks as he pushes the bowl of money towards Luca.

I was very confused by what they were playing but it didn't have my interests, I was more worried about Cassidy who hadn't spoken a word since we left the kitchen. The guilt that's resting on my shoulders is so painful.

It's eating me alive.

"Luca don't be stupid, you aren't putting chocolate in the pot, take it out," Blade takes the chocolates out and throws them at Luca.

"Can you let me borrow some money then? Alessandro took my money away."

"My money has been taken too, you should've drawn some money out of the bank, you aren't playing then Luca."

"I didn't want to play anyways, I'd rather play FIFA with Emilia."

"I ain't playing a boring game." I choked out, my voice was still dry and deep.

Reaching over the table I take the water bottle that was almost full and take a large gulp.

My throat was burning as I felt the liquid going into my stomach, instead of swallowing the 'water' comes back up like vomit. Who gave me spicy water!

My throat contracts and starts to feel worse than it did before, I was coughing like a maniac watching as the water drops from my mouth.

Vodka. It was basically spicy water.

"For crying out loud, Emilia, read the label first," Blade pats my back and rubs it in circles.

"I think you need to go to bed." Diego suggest to me.

I didn't want to be alone, I was scared to be alone in my room, anyone can hurt me.

"Yeah I agree, you look tired," Blade presses the palm of his hand against my head checking for a temperature.

"Come on, stand up, you're going to bed," he takes the blanket from my shoulders and pulls me up by my arms.

"W-why do you even care?"

"Because you're my sister, why wouldn't I care?"

***********

After Blade walked me up to my room and tucked me into bed, he left the room to go play his game. But I didn't want to sleep, I was tired but I wasn't going to sleep.

Instead, I pull out my old sketch books and search for an empty page to start a new creation, that ought to waste some time.

And so it did, I'd spent the next few hours just sketching and sketching until I had no more room to sketch, that was until I started to colour them in.

I hadn't even realised that I was sketching until the burning, orange flames lit up the earth again. It was truly a beautiful sight.

The forestry landscape looked black with the pinkish, orange sun raising; the sky was still a mixture of blues- light blue and royal blue, link undertones broke through the sky too.

What made my exhausting morning better was the music of the birds, the typical autumn morning.

I switch my phone on after abandoning it for hours to see it was 5:57 in the morning; almost six hours worth of sketches and most of them were either shaded or coloured in.

I'm proud of myself.

I couldn't possibly draw anymore, my hands were so numb, my arms and legs were purple and blue because of the nippy air in my room, it was actually very cold in my room, it didn't help that my windows were open too.

But I enjoyed this feeling, the numb feeling that cursed through my arteries and veins, I couldn't feel much and I liked it that way.

If only the coldness numbed away my guilt too, I was going to have to make it up to Cassidy, they all stayed here last night so I might make him breakfast. Even though I have no fûcking clue on how to cook I can at least try.

I started packing things up as quietly as I can and pull the box out from under my bed, it was filled with the things I brought from my other house.

Just a small sneak peek won't hurt me, I just wanted to remember the good times I had with her.

Searching through the box, I come across the family rings, one in particular caught my eye; my mum's wedding ring.

All of the rings were gathered into a box, inside it was my grandparent's wedding rings, my mum's wedding ring and a few of my greater ancestors' rings. I hadn't really met my great grandparents, they died when I was very young

And that locket-the one with the picture of her when she was just a baby, the outer piece of the locket was cold and heavy. It was gold encrusted with a tiny diamond, I could barely even see it until I come up close.

She was beautiful, what saddens me more is that she isn't here today, cancer can go suck a díck.

As I undo the locket, I grab the ring and thread the chain through the ring, I hadn't even thought about wearing these considering I'm clumsy and might lose them.

***********

Once I'd finished showering and brushing my teeth, I had changed into baggy, comfortable clothing; just a pair of loose fitted jeans and another plain black hoodie.

It was all I lived in, hoodies were necessary in this weather, I wouldn't go anywhere without one, I should just buy every single hoodie out there.

Not to mention I always steal my brothers' hoodies too, they were a lot bigger than the ones in the children section.

It was still very early when I went downstairs, it was before seven in the morning I'm pretty sure I should be asleep right now.

The thought of sleep made me nauseous, it only gave me more time for my dreams to haunt me. I'd rather keep my sanity.

Walking into the living room, I pull open the drapes and get a better look at the room, money carpeted the floor while cards and chocolates were scattered around. What was disappointing was that there was cigarette butts on the carpet, some weren't even smoked. I sure hope they weren't Blade's or the twins'.

I was beyond exhausted but I needed to keep my mind focused on something; cleaning this mess seemed like the only thing to do it.