《inspo. - A Comedy Gold Fic》when you finally find it/you'll se how it's faded
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"So how do you play this?"
"You use the left joystick to move around and use the different buttons for different power ups. Give it a shot on the training dummy!"
Trophy rolled his eyes at the joke. Cheesy was teaching him how to play Hades, a game the comedian was very well versed in and needed a new buddy to play with.
"I like to play with Soap sometimes, but she scrubs down the controllers every ten minutes. They get really slippery when she does! I hope you won't play so dirty."
Trophy felt like he couldn't get the hang of the game, which was something that was really starting to bother him.
"H-How do you do the dash thing again?"
Cheesy gently laid his hands over Trophy's as he explained the movement. Trophy's attention immediately diverted from the game, electing to focus on the soothing warmth from Cheesy's soft hands.
"-so you can pass over- Are you even listening?"
Trophy looked up, his face bright red as he softly muttered a 'no.'
"Hey, don't get so worried about it. Once you get the hang of the game, this'll all be second nature for you, okay?"
The jock nodded, allowing an easy-going smile to make itself known on his face.
"Thanks Cheesy."
"Never a loss for me bud!"
He hopped over the couch with ease, then sat down beside Trophy.
"Ready to try the first chamber?"
"Yeah but, how do you jump?"
"... Oh boy."
—
Tissues wasn't necessarily the most liked individual in the hotel, let alone a loved one. Yet he always found a way to make do, like hiding away in his room so he wouldn't bother others with his condishawn. He had bothered enough people with it after all, many people falling ill to his pale, sickly hands. Others had realised this, choosing to ignore his presence in fear of death. No one was outright cruel to him. That was something he was grateful for. Soap often... intimidated him with her sterile presence and Trophy was rude to everyone but Cheesy. But no one ever hurt him, so he never wanted to hurt them either.
Then, Yin-Yang came along.
The balance of evil and good waltzed their way into Tissues' life with a hop, punch, and a twirl. Tissues was forever indebted to whoever had brought them here. Their chaotic persona had Tissues feeling a certain way. Yin-Yang stuck with him when no one else would, at his sickest and his healthiest. It made Tissues feel guilty. He wanted Yin-Yang to stay with him for as long as they could, but he feared that they would be the next victim to his illness. Yang would tell him to be selfish if he asked. The embodiment of evil would reassure him that he matters too. Yin on the other hand, would propose something along the lines of a long distance relationship, something that Tissues knew he would hate.
"Hi Tissues!"
Tissues turned to his right. There came the dual toned Yin-Yang.
"Hi gouise. How are you?"
He refrained from sneezing, opting to sniffling a little instead.
"We are- "
Yang stomped their boots to make his point clear.
"Oh sorry about that gouise. I can help you try and make your day better?"
The boy jumped up eagerly.
"Yes! That sounds so fun! Let's do that!"
Yin-Yang grabbed Tissues' wrist, dragging the sick boy from the kitchen into the living room.
""
Their path shifted, the new destination being Yin-Yang's room. The door was painted, half being bright red while the other was halved to fit black and white.
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"Yaaay! We made it! "
The two marched into the room. The Cherries looked up from their book with surprise.
"Oh Yin-Yang! I didn't think you'd be here."
Yang sneered at them, Yin apologising directly after. The Cherries scoffed.
"Well geez! If you didn't want us in here," they exclaimed, throwing their copy of 'Life of Pie' on the floor, "you could've just said so!"
The brothers stomped out of the room, leaving Yin-Yang alone with Tissues.
"Yang, you messed it up again."
Tissues listened to the two quietly argue with one another. The brothers had just as much trouble with social interaction as him. Maybe that was why they got along so well.
"Uh gouise? Why are thirteen year olds reading 'Life of Pie'? I wasn't allowed to read it until grade 12, aah."
He quietly sneezed into his elbow, gathering the brother's attention.
"Are you okay? "
Contrasting their last statement, Yin-Yang placed their hands on Tissues' shoulders. They held half a worried expression, while the other was more flustered.
"Yeah, I'm alright gouise."
Tissues gently laid his hands on top of theirs, guiding their now intertwined hands to hang comfortably between them.
"Thanks for worrying."
Yin-Yang looked away, Yin mumbling a soft 'no problem' as they did. Tissues watched as they slipped off their jacket and seated themselves on the armchair in their room. Yin kicked their legs as Yang grumbled under his breath. Tissues reminisced back on the scene in the living room. To say he was jealous of Trophy would be an understatement. It was so easy for him to replenish his relationships and improve upon them. It was never that easy for Tissues. Trophy could just act nicer and win people over but Tissues didn't have a choice. It was never going to be that easy for him.
" are you really okay?"
"Yeah it's-", his vision flashed gold, "-nothing."
Yin-Yang looked on worriedly as Tissues sat quietly on their bed. The room fell into silence.
—
"What is that?!"
Trophy had miraculously made his way into Elysium's chambers, with plenty of help from Cheesy, where he now confronted The Minotaur.
"Oh, that's a mini boss."
"It's so... ugh."
He began pressing buttons, each movement of the character strategic and well thought out.
"You're really good at this, Trophy."
"Heh." He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. "Thanks man."
Cheesy shyly looked away. Trophy was an absolute pro at this game! Something Cheesy was totally not jealous about. He considered Hades his special little game, a place where he knew he'd always feel powerful. Trophy was making him doubt that idea.
"Yes!" Trophy shouted. The Minotaur's surrender lit up the screen.
"Wow! Great job Trophy! Note to self: always bring a gun to a bull fight."
Trophy laughed as he guided Zagreus to the next gate.
"Woah, what's this?"
Cheesy felt himself tense up as he recognised the chamber. This was where you'd find Patroclus, the lover of Achilles.
"Uh, this is where you find one of the NPCs!"
The comedian was growing worried. This chamber could make or break their friendship. Zagreus approached the spot where Patroclus sat. His thoughts went on a rampage.
'Provolone! What if he ends up being homophobic or something? That wouldn't brie very gouda!'
Trophy read the conversation, seemingly unbothered. That was until he opened up the character descriptions.
"That was Patroclus?"
Cheesy covered his eyes as Zagreus spoke. Achilles seemed to be one of Trophy's favourite characters, mostly due to his motivation to serve. It was never directly stated that his motivation was Patroclus.
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"Wait if that was Patroclus..."
Cheesy shrieked as Trophy shook his shoulders aggressively.
"Do they get back together? Can we help them get back together? They have such a sad love story! I wanna give them the best ending I can! Cheesy please tell me, can we help them be in love?"
Trophy let go of his friend's shoulders, noticing how disoriented the comedian seemed.
"Wuhuh?" Cheesy shook his head. "Oh yeah! If you do all of their requests you can totally get them back together!"
Trophy gasped dramatically, making Zagreus do a little dance on screen.
"Then let's do that! If Achilles won't love me back, then he needs to get back with the dude he actually loves!"
Cheesy laughed at Trophy's reaction, then processed what Trophy had said.
"You're in love with Achilles?"
Trophy tensed up, seemingly realising that what he said wasn't exactly the most straight thing to say.
"Uh-"
"Dude, funny you bring that up. I'm head over heels-", Cheesy slapped his knee, "-in love with Patroclus."
Trophy's expression of fear morphed into one of relief as he allowed himself to relax.
"The guy's pretty handsome, I'll admit."
"Solidarity, Achilles is mighty fine."
Cheesy held out his hand, expecting Trophy to dap him up or something. He was pleasantly surprised when Trophy intertwined their hands with a smile.
"Heh, thanks Cheesy. Really, I mean it. You've been a really cool friend to have."
Trophy brought up his other hand, gently wrapping it around Cheesy's free hand.
"Aw, shucks! It's never an issue, champ!"
The two boys smiled at each other, a bubbly feeling rising in their chests.
—
Yin-Yang was worried about Tissues, and for good reason.
The boy's condishawn had been getting worse and worse for no apparent reason, a problem that was beginning to keep Yin up at night. Naturally, the brothers were worried about their friend and tried to help him, but Tissues was beginning to push them away.
"Sorry gouise, (sniff) I have a call scheduled with my doctor. (achoo!)"
"Now's a pretty bad time gouise, I was just about to start my (sniff) scheduled nap."
"I can't open the door gouise,(sniff) my condishawn is getting really contagiou- (achoo!)"
The other inhabitants of the hotel believed he was isolating to prevent others from falling ill, but Yin-Yang (mostly Yang) was hearing none of it. Something was up, and they were ready to figure out what it was!
" Please, if you aren't busy."
They were surprised to see their white-haired friend answer the door almost immediately. His expression was dreary and grey, a colour that Yin-Yang had grown to hate.
"Oh, hi gouise."
It was clear Tissues was feigning excitement. He looked so tired. Yin was worried and Yang wanted to press on.
" Yang! Sorry Tissues, you don't have to-"
"No, no, I've been acting really selfish, ah. Come on in. The condishawn isn't as contagious as I said the other day, gouise."
The brothers wandered in. The room was stripped of the previous personality it held. It reminded Yin-Yang of a hospital.
" You've made both of us worried."
Tissues rubbed his covered arms self-consciously, an action that worried the brothers.
"I've been feeling really bad, gouise, not because of the condishawn. It feels like I'm not a good enough friend sometimes. You've seen Trophy and Cheesy. They get along with each other so well. I want to do that with you gouise, but my stupid condishawn has me sick half the time!"
Tissues aggressively kicked the chair that was placed by his bed. It barely moved an inch at the outburst. His hands began to tremble as he moved to cover his eyes. Yin-Yang looked on worriedly.
" I never knew you felt that way Tissues."
Tissues remained silent, save for a few sniffles here and there.
""
Yin seemed confused at Yang's statement, urging him to continue.
"" Yin-Yang sharply inhaled.
""
Yang cut himself off on his last statement. Tissues turned around, quietly moving to sit on the bed. He petted the space beside him and Yin-Yang sat down. Yang's expression was blank while Yin's was full of concern.
"I'll talk to Yang about this later, but for now, I want you to know something."
Yin took control of both arms, gently lifting Tissues' hands into his own.
"In sickness and in health, we'll always want to be your friend Tissues! Okay?"
Tissues felt his chest flutter as Yin-Yang grinned. He couldn't help but smile as he closed his hands around the brothers'.
"Okay."
""
—
'watch as she stands with her, holding your hand
put your arm 'round her shoulder, now i'm getting colder'
The lyrics to 'Heather' echoed in the background as the jock and the comedian sat quietly in the latter's room. After their little realisation that came along with playing Hades, the two didn't know where to go next. The weeks that followed the encounter were awkward and unnatural to the two.
So here they were, the atmosphere tense as Cheesy's hand shuffled closer to the one Trophy had resting on the floor.
"Hey." Cheesy's hand shot back into his lap as Trophy turned to talk to him. "Are you, like, exclusively into guys?"
Cheesy awkwardly scratched under the collar of his button up.
"Yeah, you could say that."
Trophy smiled, leaning back on the bed. The two were seated on the carpet for some reason.
"Me too."
Something about those two words made fireworks explode in Cheesy's stomach. He felt like hacking up a buttercup as he grinned goofily. ()
"Heh, that's pretty man-ificent if you ask me."
The room held a hard silence for a moment before the two burst into laughter. Cheesy wiped a stray tear from his eye as he attempted to speak again.
"I'm, I'm so sorry- that was not my best joke. I promise I-I can brie better for you. My jokes aren't gouda enough for you right now-I provolone I'll be cheddar-"
The laughter only increased in intensity as Trophy flopped on the ground, engulfed with joy.
"Oh- Oh Cheesy, you kill me!"
Cheesy tried his hardest to keep a straight face as he glared at Trophy.
"Gouda."
The laughter didn't stop for a long while after that.
'you gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
but you like her better
i wish i were heather'
—
"I always really liked drawing when I was stuck in hospitals. I kinda dropped it after I got here though, ah."
Tissues and Yin-Yang sat together on Tissues' bed. They were trying to get to know each other a bit better.
"Oh wait! That reminds me! One time, Yang drew something for our mama- and his writing wasn't legible at all! Oh, he wrote- 'ti amo mama' on it and our mother was so shocked! Yang had never- "
Tissues giggled a little, making Yin join in.
"Not to be rude or anything gouise, but what does 'ti amo' mean?"
"You're not being rude at all Tissues, and ti amo means- "
Yin was shocked at Yang's interjection, but smiled knowingly when he felt their face heat up.
"That's so cool, gouise! I never really learned to speak any other languages, ah."
Tissues smiled brightly as his eyes traced something or another on the wall. Yin-Yang nervously fiddled with their fingers.
"Well, it was really nice talking to you gouise again, but I have to head to bed early so I can get better sooner, aah. I'll talk to you gouise tomorrow, okay?"
Yin-Yang was silent for a moment as Tissues moved under his covers.
"C-Can we stay here until you fall asleep? "
Tissues smiled brightly, hiding the majority of his now red face under his duvet.
"Sure thing, gouise."
Yin-Yang smiled as they shifted to the left side of Tissues' bed, providing the ill boy with more room to lay down on. Minutes later, soft snoring was all that was audible in the room. The sunset projected through Tissues' open window, highlighting his sickly features as he slept. Yin-Yang was mesmerised to say the least.
'You just noticed?'
The brothers thought to themselves as they gently moved a tuft of white curls away from Tissues' eyes.
' They're greyish-blue, dull but gorgeous. They remind me of a misty blue pond. I dabble in many professions, Yang.' () ()() ()()
As the brothers mentally argued with one another, they didn't think twice while they leaned down and pressed a loving kiss to Tissues' head. It was in a manner similar to how their mother wished them goodnight.
'Oh my god. Was that a subconscious thing or-?'
"" (I love you, my beautiful treasure.)
'Oh my lord, that was so sappy! You sounded like papa when he came home from work and saw mama- '
Yin's end went silent. Yang began to worry.
''
Yin took control of their body, carefully leaning over Tissues.
"Ti amo, amore." (I love you, my dear.)
Yang let his side smile as Yin jerked their body away from Tissues embarrassedly. Yin covered their eyes as he audibly groaned.
'Uuuugh, that was so embarrassing! How did you do that so shamelessly? '
"Uuh, how do you say 'I love you back' in Italian?"
The brothers' eyes darted over to see Tissues sitting up, a kind smile stretched across his face. They felt their face heat.
"Yaaaaang... "
Tissues weakly chuckled at Yin-Yang's flustered reaction. He moved his slender hands to the sides of their warm face and slowly guided their head down. Tissues pressed a short kiss to their forehead before letting go and placing his hands in his lap. Yin-Yang stared up at him. Any coherent train of thought had left them in a flash at the intimate moment of contact.
"What was it again? Oh yeah, ti amo gouise."
Something about the nasally way he sputtered it out, or the Tissues' way he said it had Yin and Yang uniting over one basic thing.
''
As Tissues happily made room for them to lay under his duvet, the thought didn't leave their mind.
"Ti amo, Tissues. "
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