《Scarred ✔》13 | scarred weddings
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This feels so wrong. And weird.
I patiently close my eyes and let the make-up artists paint my face. Tapping my foot in the floor in an unknown rhythm, I almost shiver when I feel the cool liquid over my eyelid.
"Pauline darling, how long is it going to take? My daughter-in-law looks distressed."
My heart warms at Natalie's genuine concern. Despite breaking her son's heart harshly, she didn't think twice before embracing me. 'I knew you weren't like that', she had whispered in my ear. Then, she had hit Zach numerous times for not telling her we were together and for 'hiding me'.
She's the sweetest woman I've met, the only motherly figure I've had in my whole life.
"Not long, ma'am. It's almost finished," Pauline answers politely before I feel the liquid on my other eyelid.
Once they're done, with the make-up, I open my eyes and smile at my reflection. The make-up has enhanced my features well and I like how I look. Actually, I don't even look like myself. The make-up makes me feel bold. And, confident.
I stand up and face Natalie, giving her a warm smile. The fact that I couldn't speak didn't sit well with her and she blamed Zach for that, again, weird. She always showed more affection to me than Zach. Don't get me wrong, she loved him.
Maybe she just pitied me, because I didn't have a loving mother like herself.
I felt guilty, even though I know I have no reason to. It wasn't my idea to get sold and married. But still, Natalie looked so happy. Only if she knew the nature of our marriage.
My hair was next. The designer was impressed not only by the length of my hair but the quality too. They should have seen it when I was on the streets. My hair resembled a bird nest then.
They took a whole two hours to do my hair and I was starting to run out of patience. Huffing every now and then, I thought if I were to marry ever again, I would do it with minimal make-up and hairstyle that didn't take five whole hours.
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However, I find myself gasping once I take a look at the mirror. Dear God, I looked like a princess from a Disney movie!
The room empties for me to dress and I get out of my normal clothes and look at the white gown I am to wear. With a very heavy heart, I take it off the hanger. The deep V ball gown had full sleeves, and I felt my heart warm at that.
Zach had designed it and he had made sure my scars wouldn't be visible, provided that I wasn't comfortable showing them. It was thoughtful of him but maybe he did that so he wouldn't embarrass himself.
I take a look at myself in the mirror and sigh at the sight of myself in white lingerie that one of the bridesmaids had subtly gifted me, along with many others, with a wink.
Stepping into the gown, I pull it over my body and smile at myself. This might be my only wedding, who knows.
However, I struggle to pull the zip. On cue, I hear Natalie asking me if I was done.
I open the door and stifle a gasp when I see Zach at a distance. Natalie doesn't know he is there for sure because it was a custom for the groom to not see the bride now.
As soon as I see him, I hide behind the wall but the I still get a glimpse of him in wedding suit and my stomach churns.
Natalie helps me with the zipper of the dress, thankfully the skin there doesn't have many scars and I had used make-up to hide the small ones. Robert enters shortly. With Natalie in the room, he acts like the sweetest dad in the world and I am surprised when I see a fake tear roll down his eyes.
I, however, remain emotionless. Natalie leaves and after adjusting my veil, we walk outside.
With my hand on Robert's arm, I feel disgusted but still, I walk down the aisle. My white heels step on the beautiful green grass and the white flowers.
Everyone stands once they see me and I keep my eyes on the ground while walking. The sound of a waterfall would normally make me ecstatic as I loved them but now, the anxiety is eating me in the inside and my heart is beating so wildly, I feel like I am going to have a heart attack.
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I dare to raise my head and meet the green eyes once we stop. I drink in Zach's appearance. The beautiful green eyes are fixed on my form and the world stops. I take in his high cheekbones and his perfectly sharp jaw. His expression is stern, like always and I don't know why I thought he'd at least smile at me.
He hates you, you idiot. He said it himself. Stupid hopes and expectations.
He has a white shirt on, that hides an impressive body, with black wedding suit and same dress pants. He also has a black bow tie on.
The dark brown hair that is usually falling down his forehead is now touselled to the side and I find myself looking at his eyes again.
For a second, I think I see admiration and adoration in them but it is gone when a throat is cleared to snap us out of the trance.
Robert gives a sloppy fake kiss on my cheek and I almost cringe. He hands me to Zach.
I stand next to Zach and look at the ground. Little drops of water fall on me once in a while and I wish I could turn around and look at the waterfall but the bride isn't really supposed to do that.
I feel hundreds of eyes on me and my heart becomes heavier. If only they knew this was fake. He doesn't even give me a second glance and I hear the priest blabbering stupid vows. Zach repeats it after the priest and I feel the anxiety doubling.
I won't be able to repeat it after the priest.
The crowd is startled when I don't but we maintain our cool. Thankfully, most of them already know I am mute and fewer people are invited, all close family members and friends of Zach.
Zach was suspicious to find out I hadn't invited anyone and he thought the reason was my embarrassment. He couldn't be more wrong. It was because I had no one.
"Zachary Kane, do you take Ellen Sallow to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage?"
"I do." This time, he chooses to look at me and his voice gets a bit deeper than before.
"Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
The priest turns to look at me and I feel Zach's gaze, perhaps because he doesn't think I will be able to speak but I live to surprise.
"Ellen Sallow, do you take Zachary Kane to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?"
"I-I do." my voice comes like a squeak and surprisingly, soft. Not croaky, thankfully. I nervously look at Zack and while his face is stern but his eyes again have that look.
We exchange the rings that are awfully expensive for sure.
"You may now kiss the bride."
I expect Zach to kiss me on the cheek or give me just a small peck in the lips because that is what happens in the books and movies with arranged and forced weddings, right?
So, I wasn't prepared for this. At all.
My breath is caught when Zach leans down and snakes his hand on my waist, pulling me up. I fist his clothes in my hand in surprise, no doubt wrinkling it, but he doesn't mind.
He leans down and I look at the darkened green eyes. My eyes flutter close when his lips touch mine and he pulls me into one of the longest and most passionate kiss that I am ever going to have.
And, I unwillingly cling to him for life. Hating myself for actually liking it.
unedited.
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