There was no adapting to my situation. The half severed bond was punishing me. It punished me every time Lucas slept with another woman. The half bond we shared punishing me severely for the transgressions. It was agony. It ripped through my stomach and chest with a vengeance, waves of pain rolling over me again and again until I wanted to do nothing but scream but I forced myself to work, to function. I didn't want to be banished, this was my home. I wanted to stay but I was failing at my duties.

I was weak, unable to think or move quickly. I had stopped being able to eat completely a few weeks ago. Everything I ate came right back up and I was painfully aware of how many of my ribs jutted out, how my dress hung off me as if I were nothing but a coat hanger. I kept fainting at odd times during the day but I couldn't force myself to eat anything. My stomach instantly rebelled at the idea and it was terrifying. My body was starving itself and I could do nothing but watch in silent terror.

Every task I did seemed to take twice as much energy as usual and for the first time in my life I felt physically unable to do my job and it terrified me. I had been punished more in the past three weeks than I had in the past fifteen years of my life. I moved too slow, I was clumsy, I wasn't doing things right. The list of reasons Ingrid used were endless but the harsh pain from the punishments remained the same.

Even now I could barely get off the floor from where I had fallen. I had tried many times in the past hour but I hadn't the strength or the energy to do so. Not anymore. I had tried to adapt, I had grown used to the aching emptiness that had filled me but everything piled on me to the point I couldn't fight it anymore. My life was falling apart around me and I had no clue how to stop it. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to force my weak arms to push my body upwards. They held me for a moment before I fell back onto the floor. I felt a sob tear through me. I was dying and I couldn't stop it.

I could hear Ingrid moving closer to my room, the vibrations of her heavy boots moving through me. They stopped by my door and she banged on it heavily. "Get up, you ungrateful little wretch!" Ingrid's voice sounded through the door and I tried hard to get up once more but collapsed onto the floor once more. "Get up!" I didn't have the energy to answer before she burst into the room. "I said get up!" She pulled the strap from her belt and cracked it across my back. The pain was fleeting and I tried once more to get up but I collapsed again. The strap cracked against my back once more and I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

I knew I was late for my rounds but I just couldn't get up. "I can't, ma'am." I barely knew my own voice. It was raspy and broken but I knew I would receive no pity from her.

"You can't! Oh, Alpha Lawrence will see about that." Harsh hands grasped my arm and I was yanked to my feet. My lack of weight must have surprised her because she stumbled slightly before pulling me to the door. My legs wouldn't work and she cursed in anger before her arm went around my rib cage. She half supported me and half dragged me down the hall. My eyes were on the floor, my heart pounding frantically against my rib cage. I couldn't let Alpha Lawrence know I couldn't do my job, I didn't want to be banished.

"Stupid little cow!" Her fury was palpable but I couldn't even speak in my defense. I was no longer capable of doing my duty. I was useless to the pack. You could not keep a useless Omega, there was no reason for it. Ingrid pushed the door to Alpha Lawrence's office open without knocking.

"What are you doing, Omega!" Beta John's voice was practically a growl and I winced slightly before I was dropped in a heap on the floor. A thick silence filled the room as I tried to push myself to sitting but like before my weak arms gave out and I lay there, heaving out laboured breaths on the floor. My heart beat thumped harshly in my chest, i could almost feel it in my ears.

"She refuses to get out of bed and do her rounds! She needs to be punished!" Ingrid's voice was filled with malice and hate. She had wanted me banished since Alpha Lawrence made her switch sections with me. I had finally given her the reason she wanted. Tears filled my eyes at the look that I knew must be on their faces. Disgust for the pathetic Omega who should never have been brought into the pack. "Tell him, Omega! Tell him why!" Ingrid's hand yanked me to sitting and before I knew what was happening, Alpha Lawrence was around the desk and shoved the older shifter hard.

He was angry, dangerous growls exiting his chest. I forced myself to stay sitting. It made my muscles tremble but I needed to stay upright. "Never touch her again! Get out of my sight! All of you!" His voice was a roar as he shoved her away, towards the door and without saying a word Beta John left just as quickly. The door clicked shut and I lifted my head to look at my livid Alpha. His face was a harsh and cold mask. There was no affection for me in his eyes and I bit back a whimper.

"Why are you not eating?" His once comforting voice was cold and I felt my bottom lip tremble. "Answer me." There was a deadly quiet in the room as tears streamed down my face. I was unable to stop them.

"I can't." I croaked it out and lifted a trembling hand to my face to wipe away the tears. I wasn't sure if he would believe me, I wasn't sure if he would accept my response.

An Omega must do as an Omega is told.

"You can't?" His voice was hard and I gave a shaky breath and let my hand fall to my lap.

There was a harsh weakness in my limbs and body. I wanted to curl up on the floor and sleep, to give up. Fighting this was too hard. "I can't keep anything down." My voice was rough and hoarse and it came out in a hushed whisper and the tension in the room faded slightly.

"Why?" The question was asked softly and I felt a sob build in my throat before it escaped without warning. It echoed slightly in the room, such a pathetic and weak sound, I hated it.

"The pain is too bad." With my words there was a muted thump as Alpha Lawrence knelt down beside me. He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his large arms around me gently, giving me the comfort I needed. Just like he did when I was a child, he let me curl up against his chest. I wanted to cling to him, to dig my fingers into the fabric of his shirt and keep him close.

"What pain? Are you hurt?" His voice was soft but it held a frantic panic, he clung to me, holding me close. I had wanted so much to be held like that, to be comforted and to be given that attention. "What is it, Mary Mary?" His tone was soft and pleading, as if he wanted me to tell him something, anything.

I pressed my hand to my chest. It shook and trembled with the weakness I felt. "It's in here. It never goes away and sometimes it flares up in a bright inferno because he is with someone else. I tried to do my job, I tried but my body isn't listening. It's not listening. It just wants me to die." Each word was like a painful sob torn from me and I clutched at him weakly.

He rubbed my bony back with soft sounds of comfort but I could feel his muscles tensing as my words registered. "When who is with someone else?" There was a faint pause as his muscles tensed. "You got rejected..." The words were a soft exhale of what sounded like despair. "Who was it?" The words were a harsh sound. He was angry but his anger was not at me but for me. Like a father's protectiveness was surging from him.

I shook my head rapidly as words wrapped around my brain and that voice screamed at me. "I can't." The words came out along with a flurry of sobs but I knew he wouldn't let up. He wouldn't abide by a pack member being hurt as I was. He would want to know by who and how. I clung to him as tightly as I could.

"Yes, you can. Tell me!" It was a sharp order, a hard one that that I shook at but the mantra spilled from my mouth.

"An Omega must do as an Omega is told." It was burned into my mind and the voice screamed it at me again and again. I couldn't forget it. I could never forget it.

An Omega must do as an Omega is told.

I was told to keep it a secret. I was bound by my duty to keep it that way. I would be punished if I didn't. Panic filled me at the thought of breaking the mantra, at the thought of being taken back to the classroom. I couldn't go there. I couldn't go back there.

"Tell me, that is an order." The Alpha's Command in his voice made me tremble, made me feel like something was shoving down hard on my shoulder but it was enough to break through the mantra.

"Lucas." I felt relief as the secret finally came out. Like a painful splinter had been finally removed. It didn't stop the feelings in me but it felt relieving regardless.

Alpha Lawrence rocked me slightly from side to side, rubbing my spine slowly. "Beta John's son?" He asked it expecting an answer but I did nothing but nod. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have done something." There was nothing he could have done. He couldn't force his Beta's only son to take on an Omega as a mate. It would be needlessly cruel to do so. There was little he could do with my situation.

"An Omega must do as they are told. I was told not to tell." I said it quietly. The mantras had been seared into me, each one reinforced with brutal beatings in the classroom. Ingrid had been very thorough in making sure those lessons and mantras were ingrained into me. She had me for months for her lessons. My head ached as the voice screamed at me. I wasn't suppose dot think about it.

"He took advantage of that." He fell silent but his arms tightened around me and I wished for a brief moment that he was actually my father. That I was his little girl and someone worthy of a mate. "I never wanted this for you, Mary Mary. You have been the best thing in my life. Never forget that." He pressed a kiss to my temple, holding it there as he shook slightly. "I'll be right back." He slowly set me back on the floor before he walked to his desk, picking up his phone.

I stared at the floor through blurry eyes. I was a useless Omega and I wanted to curl up and die like my body was trying so hard to do. I wanted the aching emptiness to go away and I wanted to stop the pain I felt. His voice murmured in the background and I felt myself slumping towards the floor. I felt so exhausted. I was just so tired of it all. I just wanted it to stop, to end. I looked up as I heard Alpha Lawrence set the phone down.

He came towards me and knelt in front of me, cupping my face. He looked almost... stricken, as if he had done something, or was going to do something that pained him greatly. "I'm going to make this better. Okay, little one?" He stared at me, as if searching my eyes, trying to tell me something. His hands shook slightly as he let me go. "This will be better. I promise." He got up and walked out of the room.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there. It seemed like hours before Alpha Lawrence finally returned. He wasn't alone. Ingrid and Beta John were following behind him. My gaze fell to a long red ribbon dangled from his fingers. A banishment ribbon for the useless Omega. I felt my body start to tremble as he stepped forward and picked up my hand. It looked so strange next to his. The skin was so pale it was nearly white next to his slightly tanned one. He gently wrapped the ribbon around my wrist and tied it snug, leaving a fair bit trailing. I wanted to ask him how this was going to make things better, how he was going to make it better with the ribbon.

I felt tears fill my eyes, I didn't want to be banished. I wanted to stay with him, with the pack, it was the only home I knew. He picked me up and I could hear Ingrid and Beta John's sounds of protest but a sharp growl from him that rumbled through me, silenced them quickly. I felt his heart pounding harshly in his chest and it matched my fear filled rhythm. I could see Ingrid and Beta John walking in front of us and as they started down the stairs.

Alpha Lawrence bent his head down towards me. "I need you to get to the forest as quickly as you can, little one. Do not stop, do not fall. Make it there and you will be safe. Promise me you will make it to the forest's edge. Promise me you will be strong. Never forget you are the best thing I have in my life." The words were a faint whisper in my ear and I nodded. I wasn't sure why he wished for me to make it to the edge of the forest but he wanted my promise and I would give him that. I only ever wanted to make him proud, to repay him for taking me in at four years old and giving me a home. For showing me a kindness that not many would have shown.

Beta John pushed open the front door and I shivered at the cold breeze that came in and my eyes widened at the white snow on the ground. My feet were bare and all I wore was a white nightgown. Alpha Lawrence's shirts hidden in the pillow case after I had been given a new nightgown. Alpha Lawrence set me on my feet and I ignored how my legs wanted me to collapse on the floor. I was pushed gently from behind and on trembling and weak legs I stepped out into the freezing cold. All of the pack was there and I held my gaze forward as I took another step. I forced my legs to remain strong as goose bumps erupted over my body. It was so cold.

"As she is unable or unwilling to do her duties as an Omega to our pack. This Omega is hereby banished from our pack and our lands." Alpha Lawrence's voice was strong and I bit my lip as tears fell from my eyes. They turned cold instantly on my skin and I felt my teeth start to chatter. He pushed on my back gently and I took several steps forward, the wind biting at my exposed skin. I gripped the stair railing with trembling hands as I slowly walked down the stairs. "Let this serve as a warning to you all. Remember to fulfill your duties and to do them to the best of your abilities or you to shall end up like this Omega." There was a faint pain in my chest as I felt the separation between me and the pack. I felt a little lost as I hesitated for a brief moment, my foot lingering over the burning white snow but I let out a shuddering breath and let my foot sink into the iciness. I bit back a gasp but forced myself to let go of the railing and take another step. My feet already started to burn as I walked forward.

"Alpha, don't do this. Look at her." It was a acutely familiar voice and I glanced over to see Bennett, his blue eyes looked frantic as he looked between me and Alpha Lawrence. He had done much for me, had helped patch me up, gave me things I needed but Ingrid had withheld. My hand was healed thanks to him, still scarred but he had made sure it healed properly and without infection. He came to me every single day, making sure the bandages were changed and everything was okay. "She'll die out there." He said it accusingly in a tone that sounded faintly like panic and I could hear a few murmurs of agreement from the rest of them but they still backed away from me, leaving a path for me to walk through. My legs wanted to buckle but I forced them to move forwards.

"Do not question your Alpha, pup!" Beta John's voice was loud as it moved over the crowd but the wind seemed almost louder as I moved forward. "If she dies, she dies. It is no longer our concern." I forced myself to take one step after another. I made a promise. I needed to get to the forest.

"Omegas must serve the pack and she is unable to do her duty. Banishment is the only punishment for those who are too weak to take care of the pack." Ingrid's voice was sharp with triumph, she had gotten what she wanted. I had been punished for my weakness, banished for it, and I knew she was silently gloating. She had hated me for so many years, it must have felt like a great victory for her.

"Says you! You can barely get your work done as it is. It should be you in the snow, you lazy old bitch!" Bennett's voice was sharp with anger and I took another shivering step forward before the cold made me freeze for a moment. "I know what you did and you know what you did! You better hope that Alpha doesn't turn his eyes away because I will repay you for all you did." There was a heavy growl to his voice as he threw out the threat.

I closed my eyes tightly, the wetness on my cheeks made the freezing wind that much worse. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to hold in my body heat. "Enough! I have already done this and it shall be as it is." Alpha Lawrence's voice was tight with a well-guarded pain but he hid it well underneath a thick coating of authority. I wanted to take another step but my strength was fading. "Keep walking, Mary Mary. Do not look back." The order was a strong one and I felt my legs move without my urging. I lifted my gaze to look through the path the pack had created and towards the open expanse of snow that lay between me and the forest. I promised Alpha Lawrence that I would make it to the forest's edge. I promised him and I didn't want to let him down. I clutched tighter at myself as I moved forward.

So many eyes were on me as I stumbled forward. My breaths were little puffs of fog that lingered in front of my face before they disappeared. My teeth chattered as the bone deep cold settled into my skin. A howl broke through the sudden silence and I felt a different sort of chill crawl up my spine at the haunting sound. Something was waiting for me in the forest and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. I pushed myself forward, my body still under the order than Alpha Lawrence had given me.

"A red ribbon for banishment." The male scoffed lowly and I turned my head. He had moved to the edge of the crowd, closer to me. "Mary Mary, they should have tied a black one around your wrist instead. Those wolves will not be kind and you are not fit to fight them off." His eyes were angry, he thought it was unfair. I understood what he said. A black ribbon for the imminent death I was surely walking into.

As I walked past him, I locked my eyes with his vivid blue ones. Tears fell from my eyes and my teeth chattered violently. "The weak are not meant to survive." The words fell from my lips and I watched as he flinched but shook his head. I lowered my gaze before I continued forward. My toes had gone slightly numb but the rest of the exposed skin on my feet still burned hotly. "For the good of the pack, the weak must be banished." The words were rough coming from my chattering mouth and the others took up the words.

"For the good of the pack, the weak must be banished." The words rippled through the crowd and I pushed forward, leaving the pack members. I had only snow in front of me. A large expanse of white that brought pain with its beauty.

"You are not weak!" Bennett's voice was loud over the crowd and I didn't turn my head as I continued forward. The order was carrying me over the snow.

"Be quiet, boy." Beta John's voice was a deep growl and I heard someone following me before a scuffle broke out. I kept my gaze forward as I moved one foot in front of another. The wind tore at my ribbon and it snapped against the harsh and cold air moving it.

"Let me go!" The blue eye man was cursing as I knew he struggled against those who held him down. "You are not weak, Mary Mary!" His voice cracked slightly and I faltered at his words for a brief moment before the order forced me to move forward again.