I sat across from her on the private jet, watching her sleep peacefully.

I was honestly hesitant about Calla's 'next step' plan.

What if we couldn't agree on the type of cat we wanted? I mean I would let her have whichever she wanted but she was insisting that we both need to love it. I didn't bother telling her that the only thing I needed to love was her.

What if she forgets to feed it and it dies. She's gonna cry if that happens and she insists we have to take care of it not the house staff.

What if one of us steps on it or slams a door on it when its a baby and it dies? Calla would cry so hard and probably call herself a fur murderer. I couldn't have that.

What if someone ate it? I wouldn't put it past most drunk vampier's. God i could just see her bawling her pretty blue eyes out over the dead body of Waffles our cat.

And of course I had agreed to name it waffles. She looked really really excited by the prospect of a cat named waffles so of course I had opened my smart mouth and suggested we name it Honey Waffles if it was a gold or yellow cat.

She died in a fit of joy claiming it would be H.W. the great.

Because our cat couldn't be less than great because it was our and we raised it together.

What if this just makes her want a baby more? what if seeing the cat start to grow up reminds her again thats she's not going to be young forever?

She had finally stopped getting up in the morning when she thought I was asleep to look through things about aging and stopped applying those creams.

I know she didn't know I ever even knew she was doing all that but I was damn proud of her for stopping.

She stirred in her sleep and my full attention instantly shot to her.

God she was beautiful.

I didn't know where she came from or whats she's been through but every time I look at her I see nothing but pure beauty.

She was the only non artificial light in my life. I never wanted to be without her and my whole body ached knowing that one day I would be burying her in the ground.

It hurt knowing she would leave me behind, stuck to face the earth alone again. I couldn't decide what I would miss more; her laugh or her eyes.

I think maybe it was those beautiful blues. I would miss the way they danced with such clear emotion, miss the way they reminded me of the few glimpses of clear blue sky I have ever had in my life. I would miss the passion in them when she told me she loved me.

I would miss hearing her soft lips form those three words.

I buried my face in my hands.

"Trouble brother?"

I didn't even look up, "isn't there always trouble Aldric?"

He was quiet for a long moment, "you looked miserable while staring at the little tart. Has she refused you're advances for once and now you are in a sour state?"

Practically growling I glared over at him, "no."

He nodded slowly, "thinking about the future then?"

His answer was silence.

"Brother...It is written on your face how much pain even the mere thought of having to give her a funeral causes you."

"Nice to know."

He shook his head at me, "I don't understand why you put yourself through this. you knew from the very start that she would be gone."

"I know."

"You look so desperate to be with her for a moment I worried you would attempt to follow her into the afterlife when all is through."

I stayed perfectly silent, it would be a lie if I said that was untrue. Its not like the thought of just up and dying with her hadn't crossed my mind and there was no telling what I would do if I lost her.

I wasn't sure I could exist without her anymore.

Who was I without her?

Who would I be without my Calla Lily blooming beside me?

"Brother?"

"I wouldn't do such a thing Aldric."

"...you never know what you will do for the person you love Kaden."

I looked at him for a long moment, "you speak as if you know how I feel."

"not fully brother but I do understand parts of what you feel and I do understand that when you lose her, you will lose part of yourself as well."

I let my gaze drift back to Calla her light hair seeming to shimmer against her skin, "I won't just lose part of myself Aldric."

I'll lose everything.