Thoughts of the characters

I felt so stupid to let him break my heart like that even if it was just a kiss I finally felt home and happy but after his message it's like he stabbed me right in the heart. Now there is no going back, no matter what happens I promise myself that I will never forgive him or let him break my heart again, I need to show him how it feels. But how? I decided to forget about Serkan and focus on my internship at Kaan's architecture firm. I was excited and decided to call Ferit to tell him the news and also to tell him that I'm ok since he called 20 times and sent more than 50 messages from last night. "Good morning Ferit", "Good morning Eda, are you ok? You left early yesterday we didn't get the chance to talk", I could hear the worry in his voice, it made me upset that I was the reason behind it. "Ferit I'm fine don't worry, about yesterday that's a long story and if I'm being honest all I want to do is just forget everything that happened and move forward-". Before I could even finish what I wanted to tell him he got surprised and almost yelled "Wait. what happened yesterday, and don't lie to me", I didn't want to tell him how much of a jerk his friend turned out to be so I just took a deep breath and said "I didn't get the internship at one of the firms I applied for so I was in a bad mood that's why I left early" I bit my lip hoping I could convince him and by the sound of his voice when he said "Ok if that's it then ok" he seemed calm and relaxed. We spent a couple minutes in complete silence until I decided to tell him about the internship at Kaan's firm. He was very happy for me judging by his voice. As I was about to hang up I heard Ferit say "Eda wait... I'm sorry", I was confused, why would he be the one apologizing, Could Serkan have told him what happened last night, could Ferit have lied to me about something, millions of things went through my head until Ferit said "I didn't mean to yell at you I was just worried that something happened to you, I can't handle losing you too". When I heard him say that I realized that he was afraid of being left alone, he seemed so strong but right now I see that it was just an act to protect himself. I told him that I wasn't angry with him and that I understood what he meant, we talked for a little bit more and then we both hung up. I got dressed in a white top and navy colored pants with a white blazer rolled up to my elbows.

Eda's Outfit when she wen to Kaan's Firm (one of my favorites)

Eda went to Kaan's firm and everything went great there. She got to meet the team and get an idea of what it will be like. She starts in a week which is making her so excited. Ferit after hanging up with Eda went to meet Ceren the hotel's lawyer, also the person he has been in love with for so long but has never gotten the courage to admit to her. They went out to dinner together and at one moment they felt so much love towards each other, and then at the same time they said "I love you", after saying it they both chuckled a little and then got up from their seats to kiss each other. Ferit finally felt a feeling of relief, love, and happiness. He wouldn't have wanted to have it any other way. After dinner they both went on a walk and then returned back to the hotel with very satisfied looks on their faces. While all of that was going on in Istanbul in London Serkan was piled with a lot of work and issues that needed to be fixed immediately that he didn't even get a chance to go home.

Everything has been very stressful for the past few days that I didn't even have a chance to take a breath and think about what happened with Eda before I left. Ever since she kissed me I hadn't been able to forget about her like I wanted. I didn't understand anything that was going on in my life. After that point I always thought Why would she love someone like me? Did she kiss me because she was drunk or did she feel something towards me? Why is she stuck in my head? I was feeling overwhelmed. I didn't know what was happening to me. But I did know one thing and that was for sure, I was starting to have feelings for the beautiful Eda Yildiz. I didn't know when or how but I knew that after that kiss that night I would never be able to forget her or move on with my life. I felt like an idiot when sending her the message that I was going to London and apologizing about what happened that night when all I wanted to say was "I love you Eda Yildiz, thank you for the most amazing time of my life even if it was short, I have to go to London for work but before I go would you like to come with me". Instead of actually expressing my feelings I sent her the cold robotic type of message I send everyone. But I made a decision when I go back to Istanbul. I'm going to make it up to her because I can never live without her, I can't breathe when she isn't next to me. I tried falling asleep but it turned out to be impossible every time I close my eyes I see her, so instead of torturing myself I called the clients I was supposed to meet and said that I have an important matter I have to settle in Istanbul and I can't stay in London. I was going to admit to the girl I love more than life itself that I love her. Nothing could stop me. I just hope she feels the same way. I have never felt this way before ever since my brother died. I lost hope in everything, especially love until I saw her. I felt my shattered heart start to connect together.

I had just returned from work when I looked at my phone and found 20 missed calls from Serkan. When he called again my brain told me to ignore him but my heart told me to answer and I answered. "Eda.." he sounded happy. I was about to ask what made him happy but went against it and just said "What do you want" in a strict voice full of anger and frustration. His reply made my knees shake "I miss you" as I was about to tell him I miss you too but I just said to myself He is playing with you again, he doesn't miss you, he's just a jerk that only cares about himself and his happiness. So I just said "I have to go" and hung up before he could say anything else. As much as my heart wanted me to give him a chance I told myself that I would never let him break my heart again which was what he was going to do. Wasn't it?

Author's Note: