Drew POV

It had been about a month since I moved in with Hunter or well practically since I was made to move in with him.

Nothing had changed between us, he would still look at me with those cold blue eyes and that murderous look. Furthermore he would rarely talk to me casually, always about pack business, and the few times that he would talk to me was when needed to know something, other than that we barely exchanged full sentences and he barely touched me since that night.

I constantly wondered, if that is what it was suppose to feel like when you found your mate. I wondered if finding the other half of your soul was supposed to feel like that. He was my mate, chosen for me by the goddesses herself, and yet he hated me. How was that possible? What had I done wrong?

The worst part of it all was, I knew deep down that something inside me was starting to brew. As much as I wanted to deny it, I could feel myself being drawn towards him despite everything he did to me and that is what hurt the most. I didn't want it like this, without any love and just as a means to satisfy his lust. I wanted something more than that, and although it might not have been what I had initially wanted, I was willing to work through it, for both our sakes.

And yet, I felt that the only thing that changed between us, was the new found feelings I now have towards him. I wouldn't call it love, but it was something I myself couldn't even explain, maybe it was the mate bond or maybe it was me allowing myself to be free from the shackles I was going to bound myself to if I had to continue on this hate journey with him, but something about him just prevented me from hating him.

It was probably the pain in his eyes, every time he saw me. It was like he was one person on the outside and a completely different person on the inside and sometimes I couldn't even recognize him as the same person that nearly killed me all those years ago.

Except for his anger, that was pretty much the same. It was like he turned into a completely different person when he was in a stage of rage, no one and nothing mattered around him, but fulfilling that anger.

Sometimes it scared me, because I could never fully understand who he really was. It was almost like he was hiding himself from me, like he didn't trust me to accept who he was and instead he forced me to hate him. He did awful things just to push us apart further, and surprisingly I didn't hate him. And as the days passed by, I didn't even feel a dislike towards him anymore, because deep down I knew.

This isn't who he was .

__________

We sat at the breakfast table, in complete silence. Pin drop silence. It was an uncomfortable and awkward silence. I sighed and pushed around the food in my plate.

I hadn't had an appetite lately. Simply because everything I ate, always came back out. I had been throwing up since last week, and it was exhausting. I was constantly tired and falling asleep at any given opportunity. I had even fallen asleep during one of the pack meetings, which Hunter was not pleased about.

"Do you uhh.. maybe want to go for a walk?" I asked him as I moved the food around. I glanced up slightly, just to catch a glimpse of his reaction.He kept his gaze down, not having touched his food either.

"I have pack meetings, but you can say here and rest if you're not feeling well" He said, still looking down. I couldn't even remember when was the last time he looked at me.

I raised the fork to my mouth, when I felt my stomach turning. I dropped the fork and ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, thankful that we had been down downstairs. I lifted the toilet lid and emptied the contents of my stomach, which wasn't even much, since I had thrown up minutes ago.

After dry heaving for minutes. I flushed the toilet and began brushing my teeth. I glanced at the mirror and saw him standing behind me.I rinsed my mouth and turned around to face him. He looked just as expressionless and emotionless as he always was.

"You should go to the doctor"

"I'm fine..must be something I ate.."

I walked past him, only for him to grab me by my arm, he looked at his hand on my arm for a second, before letting his hand fall.

"You've been throwing for a week now, you should go to the doctor" He said looking past me as if I wasn't even there.

Would it kill him to just look at me once??

It was frustrating , that I wanted the one thing I knew I wouldn't have. I wanted it so badly and that was his affection. Even if it was something as simple as holding my hand, I felt like that would be enough and a stepping stone. Maybe it was my wolf that was begging for attention from his Alpha, or maybe it was something else, but I just wanted him to look at me.

I sighed and finally gave up.

"Fine I'll go.."

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asked.

Somehow I knew he was just asking because that's what normal mates do, we weren't normal mates were we? I didn't want him to do it because he had to. I wanted him to do it because he wanted to, and for some reason reason, I could feel he didn't want to.

"It's fine. I can go by myself.. "

________

I laid on the bed waiting for Jeremy to come in, as my thoughts drifted to the weirdest of thoughts. I had left the house immediately after he did and walked to the pack hospital, to give myself some fresh air after being cooped up in the house for so long.

What if I had some incurable disease and I was like, dying or something.

"Hey" someone greeted, making me snap back to reality. I was met with those blue eyes and charcoal black hair.

"Hi.. I uhh. I didn't know you would be here today" I said looking down and avoiding his eyes.

"My Dad's busy with someone else right now, but if you want to wait .. That's fine."

"It's okay.. " I shook my head.

He nodded and came towards me, taking some blood from me. He too seemed to avoid my gaze and this was probably as awkward for him as well. I saw his eyes drift to my mark briefly, before he turned away and set the blood on the counter.

"So, you've been throwing up, and feeling exhaustion?" He asked to which I nodded.

He got up and took a urine cup and gave it to me before he turned around and wrote something down. I came back after a minute and gave it to him. He was reading the results of my blood work, when he took the urine glass and extracted a drop from it. He dropped the drop on some kind stick thing and he read the page that contained the results from my blood test, then looked at the stick.

"Well, it's not anything bad. You're four weeks pregnant.." he said smiling to me as turned to face me.

I wasn't sure how to react in that moment. Whether I should be happy or cry or both. I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't ready to be a father to a child yet.

What would Hunter say?Did he even want children right now?We never got around to that topic yet, or any topic at all!

Elliot motioned for me to lift up my shirt, and placed some kind of gel on it. He ran the gel across my flat stomach with a stick and looked at the screen next to him.

"If you look at the screen, you'll see it in no time" he said as he moved it around. I nodded looked at the screen, waiting.

Please don't be there.. please don't be there..

Now was not the time to have children, not when we were so unstable. We barely talked to each other or even looked at each other, how on earth were we going to raise a child together. In a home that was so infested with hatred.

"There it it" he said.

I looked up and saw what he was talking about. It was so tiny, like a little dot on the screen. I looked at that little dot, and suddenly nothing else mattered to me, but that little dot. All the doubts I had before, vanished. This was a blessing from the Goddess herself, and I would be all this little dot needed, even if Hunter didn't want to be apart of it. There was nothing I could do about it now, all I could do was be the best father I could to my baby.

I would be there.

Elliot printed out the picture and gave it to me along with some herbs to fend off the nausea. I couldn't take my eyes off the page as I walked home. I so much wanted to tell Hunter but at the same time, I was scared.

What if he hated me more now more so, what if he would hate our child.