I did what I could to convince Onyx to stay out of the business. That kid doesn't know what's good for him, he wasn't raised in this world he has no fucking clue. He has no idea how it's gonna be for us now that he's gonna be a potential heir- I won't give him that position. My father looks down on me already, I can't let my runt brother take his favor.

Though from the seems of it he might fuck things up himself, he's too close with Damien. He doesn't understand our family's dynamic, The Arif family has been closing in on our territory even more in recent years; father originally wanted me to befriend Damien in an attempt to gain any sort of information and it failed. Damien never gave anyone the time of day- but Onyx is different and I don't know why.

If he continues this relationship with Damien, the deeper he'll get and when he's given a choice- father won't hesitate to kill him for being a traitor, son or not. We're on a brink of a war between families, it's already starting. I don't want my brother taking my place but I don't hate him, I'm softer then I would like to admit. I've noticed there relationship has grown closer within the last week , they stopped being as secret with each other- it's sickening to watch almost.

I waited till me and Damien were the only ones in the locker room, we were getting ready for practice and I told him we needed to talk so he stayed behind.

"Listen, I don't get your fascination with my brother, but because of you he's gotten more involved then he needed to be" I said to him seriously, and he pulled his polo shirt on and gave me a nasty glare, it scared me deep down because I knew Damien was not a dog with no bite. He was the son my father wanted me to be, he had been working along side his father since he was young and even dealt with the nastier business.

My father tried to get me to... join in on the harsher practices. I just cant bring myself to kill somebody, but not yet, I'll learn- I won't let onyx take my place.

"Don't tell me something I already fucking know" he growled at me and I glared back. If he fucking knows why doesn't he drop whatever fucked relationship he has with Onyx.

"My father knows of you two, you already know the tension between our families. Your gonna get him killed, unless that was the plan from the start then color me impressed" I finished my sentence and a fist slammed into my jaw knocking me off the bench, I cursed loud and felt the blood pour out of my mouth. He stood over me as if he had been possessed by a demon, breathing heavily and full of rage.

"You know it, he doesn't know the severity- he's not that deep yet. You have a chance to let him go, but if you keep it up he's gonna be in the middle of it. We're on the brink of war, he never was not gonna be involved." I spit out the blood as I stood up, that almost knocked me clean out.

We stared down each other and he didn't say another word. He left and that was all there was to it.

•••

Things had been good over the passed couples days, me and Damien have been.. in our honeymoon stage? It's embarrassing to think about, but we make out whenever wherever- behind the lockers, in the bathrooms, in the janitors closet. we haven't gone much farther then heavy petting and that night we stargazed. I want to do it with Damien, but I'm not ready is all- and he understands. He said we'll be together forever so we can take all the time we need, I laughed at it like it was a joke but I don't think he was joking.

We haven't spoken about the whole... mafia thing. We're in school right now so there's no need to worry about it, we can come to that later. I don't want to have another fight like that, even if I was instigating it... I really don't want to break up with Damien.

My Dad hasn't contacted me since I saw him over the break. He told me when the school year was over he'd start showing me the ropes. I was confident on doing it but after Damien's outlash I was feeling less confident, I know it would take time away from us but we're gonna be adults that's just how it is when your grow up? You get jobs, a career, so it's like the same thing....

If I asked Damien to stop being in the mafia he wouldn't do it, so why should I? Right? Though it's not like I'm really in the mafia... not officially right?

I waited for Damien to come out onto the field, I've been watching his practices more. It's a bit weird to watch, it's as if I'm cheering for him as his.. boyfriend. It's a bit strange to think about, it's my first time to have a relationship like this. I don't hate it, I actually really like it.

Damien came out onto the field, he looked... upset. Really upset, like I'm gonna kill someone upset. Craven followed him from behind and he was bleeding from his lip, did they fight? Why would they fight? What did Craven say to provoke that? Damien has never said anything negative about craven but he's never brought him up period, nor have I to him.

The practice was brutal... it was cut short for Damien who was told to go cool his head off. He was tackling dudes like he was chasing them down for the kill. There was something seriously wrong, especially since he was avoiding my eye contact. I got off the bleachers and followed him sneakily into the locker room, hoping nobody noticed.

"Hey are you ok? Did you fight with craven" I asked seriously walking towards him while he pulled his polo off. He didn't look at me, he just stood still as if he was trying to think. I reached out for him and he grabbed my hand tightly, he was still angry from whatever they talked about.

"If you can't tell me I'm gonna ask Craven" I said seriously, I don't care if craven beats my ass over it. I don't like the idea of my half brother and my boyfriend fighting.

"We should take a break" he blurted out and my mouth went agape. Out of all the things I expected him to say, that wasn't one of them. Is he joking?

"Haha funny joke, nice one Damien" I said mockingly and he gave me a sad look, an uncommon expression on him. He was being serious.

"W-what do you mean a break! You were just begging to get back together a week ago, the fuck is with you?" My temper rose, recently I could barely control it. Before I used to cower when Damien would walk by and now I don't hold back.

"I didn't say break up- we just need to be-" he bit back at me as if trying to figure out the words to me. As if he himself didn't know what he wanted.

"You told me you never wanted me to leave your side, was that a lie?" I demanded and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He's doing it again, acting like I'm just some kid- he goes from acting like a teenager to acting like some grown man.

"You don't understand-" he tried to go on, almost desperately; he cut himself off. As if he became aware of something, his eyes glazed over and he went back to his old stoic blank slate self.

"We need a break. Things have come up" his voice lost any type of emotion, it was like he was pushing me out. Closing his walls up, but for what? Why? I thought we just resolved this why is it happening again?

"Damien whatever it is we can just figure it out ok, but we can't if you don't fucking tell me" I said trying to keep it together but my eyes were watering, what the fuck did Craven at say to him?

"This isn't something you can fix" he snapped at me, his eyes dark and glaring and tears ran down my eyes. I think it took him off guard because he softened up, now he was worried. He reached out for me and I slapped his hand.

"Your right, this thing was a mistake from the beginning. I get it" was all I said and I walked out. Why is this happening again, we're breaking up again. A 'break' fuck that I know what it means.

Was I misreading him? Am I missing something? I'm sick of being left in the dark; I'm not a child anymore.

Right?

••••

Hi!

Yea....

Well here's another chapter!

It's getting kinda repetitive right? My bad, but good things are coming! (Not really)

Also if u see any bad typos let me know 😓