RAIDEN ||

My pups kissed me..

We're kissing right now...

My lips are on his...

Dylan is kissing me...

My emotions were already all over the place seeing my alpha wolf so emotional when he spoke about his brother and when he apologized to me again.

I could see it on his face that the guilt of his actions from the past month has been eating me alive. I wanted to be angry, I wanted to hold onto this stupid grudge against him and the wolves here, but I just couldn't continue to have such hatred in my heart when my pups was falling apart in front of me like this.

Dylan needed me and he's been trying to accept our bond, I've seen it, his willingness hasn't gone unnoticed. He's allowed me to hold his hand and be affectionate towards him in a way that he's comfortable with and I appreciate him for that so much. I know it's hard to accept what fate gives you when you were expecting something completely opposite, but my pups is trying. He's trying so hard, I don't know if that's because of our compromise or because of the overwhelming guilt he feels for his actions, but whatever the case is, I'm thankful for it.

The level of emotion I achieved witnessing the divine way he spoke about his older brother, Bennett has to be the same things others feel when Rome speaks about me.

I could almost feel how much he loved his brother, how much it hurt when his pack lost them, how much it hurt when Dylan lost him.

Everything he told me gave me a different outlook on why he was so quick to put me in those cells and why he looked so confused everytime I laid eyes on him.

The way he apologizes to me now shows me that he was putting on a show back then, for his pack, for his family. My pups didn't want to put me in that cell, he didn't want to keep me there. He's such a complex man, he has to carry this certain appearance about him, when I feel like he's the complete opposite.

His inside doesn't match his outside.

His heart doesn't match his eyes.

I was slowly noticing my pups has such a beautiful heart and it's just going to take some time before he was open enough with himself to feel freely and without pause. He radiates the need to be praised and loved.

That's been so obvious since the first day I complimented him in the cells. At first I thought I made him uncomfortable with my sarcastic comment, but now I see that he was caught off guard by my sudden praise, even if it was presented in a way that wasn't necessarily loving.

Everytime I compliment him or praise him for something he's done good, his tough exterior falls immediately. That sweet blush kisses his skin as that big goofy grin confiscates all that was before.

I'm determined to shower my baby with as much love as he will allow me. I'll never cross any boundaries that he's not ready for because consent is beautiful and he hasn't given the undoubted consent needed to take things to the next level, which I'm ok with. Just being able to touch him and comfort him is enough for me and I know I'm filling my end of the compromise by giving him a friendship.

Our bond has been damaged from the actions of the past, but I can feel that we're both determined to fix things between us and give ourselves a chance to have the love that the Gods and Goddesses deemed for us.

They blessed me with my baby for a reason and I'll never fight what was given to me. He's mine and he will always be mine.

My thoughts came to a halt as soon as Dylan breaks our kiss. He slowly pulls away and his grip tightens around my wrists while my hands cup his face. He lets out a heavy sigh as he leans his forehead against mine and I slowly open my eyes to take in my man.

"I'm sorry for that.. I should have asked you if it was ok to kiss you... I just got caught up in the moment, but I should have asked you. I'm sorry." He whispered his sweet apology and I shook my head to silently let him know it was ok and that I accepted his affection.

"Are you upset with me?" He asks gently and I shake my head again. "Please give me words Raid, I hate silence." He says as he leans into my touch even more.

"I'm not upset with you pups and you don't have to apologize for kissing me." I say as I gently lean back to look into his eyes properly. "I'm so proud of you that you would be so open with yourself to feel your emotions so freely. I'm not upset with you, thank you so much for kissing me. You have no idea how happy you've made me."

That sweet blush starts to take over his cheeks and neck again as he tries to hide himself from me, I knew it was from my praise that he would never admit that he actually craved. So I didn't tease him about it, but I wouldn't let him hide from me anymore.

My hands move from his cheeks, one creeps to the back of his neck and the other around his back as I pull him closer to me. He comes without hesitation and places his hands on my chest.

"I'm going.. I'm going to try harder.. to accept us. I've wanted affection from my mate and ummm..." He clears his throat as he pats my chest in a nervous manner. "I'm going to try to accept it from you Raiden.. If I pull away, please don't take it personally.. I just have to work through fully accepting your touch, so don't give up on me... I will learn how to accept it... I promise."

Fuck.. that makes me so happy.

"Thank you for being so amazing Raiden, I don't deserve you." His voice was so soft, I almost wouldn't have heard what he said if I wasn't holding him so close.

"You do deserve me Dylan, you deserve to be beyond happy. Thank you for allowing me to bring that to you." I try to reassure him, but instead of the soft smile he held before, he gives me a frown.

"What's wrong love?" I ask and he gives me a quick smile before his frown returns and he turns his face away from me.

Before I could stop myself, I growled quietly from his sudden rejection and he quickly looked back at me.

"What's wrong love?" I ask again, gently tightening my grip on the back of his neck, so he couldn't turn away from me again.

"I don't want to say, it's embarrassing. I sound so needy right now." His frown deepened and I tilt my head trying to understand better.

"What's embarrassing pups?"

He mumbles a response to my question, so I ask him what he said and he rolled his eyes before answering the right way.

"I hate when you call me Dylan."

"What? Why? That's your name." I chuckle at my pups cute little reaction.

"Not to you." I raise my eyebrows at his sudden aggression. He quickly noticed my reaction though and gently rubbed my chest, whispering an apology.

"I'm sorry."

I heard his apology, but I couldn't stop my eyebrows from burrowing as I took in his sudden embarrassment. It wasn't long before a smile crept onto my face at the realization and his blush deepened.

"Oooohhhh.." I say, exaggerating the hell out of the word as I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"You only want me to call you sweet names huh, baby?" My smile grew as I watched him squirm against me.

"No." He argues back, but we both knew the truth.

Maybe I can tease him just a little bit...?

"Yes you do, pups." I tease as by hand moves from his back to cup his cheek.

"No I don't."

"Awww, my little wolf loves his nicknames. I promise to shower you with my affection everyday baby."

"Stop it." He pouts, completely shoving his bottom lip out.. That was the cutest thing ever. I couldn't help myself as I slowly slide my thumb across his cheek, painfully slow as I held my eyes on his beautiful vision. I let my finger trace over the goosebumps that now inhabited his skin and I relished at the sight of his body trembling under my touch, until I finally grabbed that bottom lip and pushed it back in.

Goddess, that was such an intimate moment.

"You're so cute pups, my little wolf, my baby." I didn't have to go overboard like that or enjoy the way my voice came from a place of pure passion, spiking my mate's heart rate. I loved his reaction as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around my back, completely burying his face in my neck.

"Stawwwwwp." He whined as he nuzzled closer. I wrapped my arms around his back to pull him impossibly closer. My sweet wolf was practically in my lap and I was loving every minute of it.

Thinking about how much I hate affection, I sure didn't mind showering my love with it.

"You don't want me to stop baby. You love this."

"No I don't, stop it." His words said one thing but his body said another, as he subconsciously held me tighter.

"Can I kiss your shoulder love?" I tease while rubbing his back.

"No."

"Can I rub your back?" I tease again while I kiss his shoulder.

"No."

I almost bit my lip in half trying to stop my laughter. He's so freaking precious! He didn't even realize I was a question that was the opposite of my action! I had to keep this going, this is most fun I've had in a long time.

"So, do you want me to stop giving you my affection little one?"

That nickname was the funniest to me because Dylan was only an inch shorter than me. He didn't really qualify as little.

"Yes." I was a little shocked by his answer, but not too much seeing how he was desperately trying to convince himself more than me, that he didn't love this.

So I unwrapped my arms from him, pulled away and said the only logical thing that would set him off.

"Ok Dylan."

His body tensed up against mine and he immediately took his face out of my neck to look me in the eyes.

"N-no, no.. I d-didn't mean..." He stumbled through his words and I smiled, absolutely loving his quick change of pace.

My pups rolled his eyes again before sucking his teeth. "Fuck you." He said harshly, but all I did was open my arms and he fell back into me without even a second of hesitation, quickly taking his place in the crook of my neck.

"I hate you." He whispered, his breath fanning across my skin caused me to shiver, I loved the orgasmic feeling that our bond ignited.

"I know you do." I chuckled in response before placing another kiss on his shoulder, which made him tighten his grip around me once again.

I could totally get used to this.

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