Allie

This is exactly what I didn't need right now. I can't believe I left without my damn purse. I was distracted having to take Jadon to the bathroom, though. But still, I should have remembered it.

I saw the realization in his face when he looked at my son. He went through the stages of grief, basically. Shock. Disbelief. Bargaining (probably, since he is that self-absorbed) and whatever the other stages are that led him to the final conclusion that he was basically the unintended sperm donor for my child.

Not even that. He's whatever is below a sperm donor. The... I don't know. I can't think when I'm this flustered.

And darn him for enjoying his life, posing in pictures on Spring Break with girls in bikinis while I can't possibly consider wearing a swimsuit at the lake without having an anxiety attack over my stretch marks and the fact that my left boob is definitely bigger than the right.

And somebody hit him with a severe case of acne or something because he is as stupidly beautiful as he was before, if not more. I hate him. I wish someone would break his perfect nose or maybe cause him to trip and chip a tooth or something.

And, excuse me, but why is it that women can go without shaving and it gets gross, but when Lucas-freaking-Kennedy has scruff on his face it makes you wonder if it tickles when he kisses?

I want to hit him with an aluminum baseball bat.

It isn't fair. He skirted through life on the easy train. He got to have the exciting college experience, go to the beach and have fun with college students while I was averaging two showers a week and testing how long I could go without brushing my hair regularly.

Oh, and throwing up for seven months until the accident that brought Jadon here a touch earlier than expected.

Yep. Lucas was at a Toga party on Greek Row, smiling for pictures with topless girls and I chewed my nails off inside the NICU while debating whether or not to reach out to him. But why? He didn't even know my name and I wouldn't trust some random stranger sending me crazy messages. Besides, I wasn't in the right frame of mind, either.

I decided right there that I was doing it on my own. No, he had no clue, but why ruin his perfect life when he looked like a surprise baby might, I don't know... put a damper on his day?

Jerk.

Standing that close to him after all this time changed me. I could practically taste the electricity in the air between us while all the anger I had been repressing for years started to emerge and I felt myself slowly losing it. I was about to explode, but I got out of there as quickly as I could.

With a half-crazed smile that I am sure frightened the site directors, I toured both of the daycares for Jadon. He seemed to like one of them, but neither really seemed like a good fit. I have an appointment set up for one more tomorrow and hope we both like it. I don't want him around Lucas at all, so it needs to happen basically yesterday.

I don't know Lucas at all—other than an unimpressive talent where he uses his tongue and that perfect smile to swindle girls into his car—and don't want Jadon around him, especially since my dad likes to take him into the coaches' office in the mornings. If it's the afternoons only, they're usually preoccupied with the practice and drills that Lucas wouldn't get to be alone with Jadon.

I just hope Lucas isn't the type to make this into a legal thing. I don't know much about that stuff, but maybe the idea of nearly five years in missed child support will keep him away.

He has no clue what it takes to raise a kid and how much it costs. This daycare stuff is about to set me back, too, with my business savings, but it's better than Jadon realizing his father is a piece of crap who embodies the hit it and quit it lifestyle.

I wonder if he has other secret children. I could start a club with the other women with crushed dreams and then maybe we'll riot and set his car on fire. Ah, justice.

I was still so flustered that I texted Charity what happened. She freaked out with me over text and said she was going to come home as soon as possible so she can help me cope by helping get my mind off of everything. Usually, it means her trying to get me drunk, but really I just need a vent session and then some solitude to feel better.

I called John to let him know I wasn't feeling well and that I needed the afternoon off, and he was fine. John is usually pretty good about letting me go during the summers since there aren't any students at school and he doesn't feel as bad when he heads out early in the afternoons. He is salaried so he usually leaves around 2:00 pm or whenever his last meeting is for the day.

When I got off the phone with John, I called my dad to see what he wanted for dinner when he dropped the freaking bomb.

He invited Lucas over for dinner to get to know him better.

I was fuming. More.

I slyly suggested I take Jadon out for the evening so that they could talk uninterrupted. I was actually surprised he was fine with it, but it's probably so he can eat meat without feeling bad about it. Whatever, they can have their time and if Lucas is stupid enough to tell my dad who he is to Jadon, it's his own funeral.

And part of me hopes he is that stupid so my dad will take care of him for me. I mean, heck, I'll carry the shovel if we need to go bury his body in the backyard. I just hope no one comes looking for him.

I hate that he can say so few words to me after all this time and get this kind of reaction.

And I especially hate that Lucas-freaking-Kennedy is suddenly trying to come off like some nice guy just because I know he wants to impress my dad who shouldn't have helped him get hired in the first place.

Lucas Kennedy is not a nice person and is a user and self-centered and... gosh this is exhausting.

Nope. He's not getting Jadon and I'll be that helicopter mom or whatever they call them when it comes to Lucas. He is nothing more than a blank space on Jadon's birth certificate and it's going to stay that way.