I have to be the most unlucky person on this bloody planet. Every other day something goes wrong around me one way or another. And today was no exception!

It started off with a leak in my roof dropping water into my bed from a slight shower last night. So, I had to strip the bed only to rip one of my sheets in half! Then I went to hang my remaining wet bedding only to discover my clothesline didn’t want to survive any longer and snapped, dropping my sheets into the mud. After that, I then had to take them to the washing machine only to discover its broken. So to the laundromat and I find that once ive washed them and put them in the dryer, the dryer catches fire!

So home I go and with an hour wasted, only to find it had rained more at home, and more water was in my room. So I grab a mop and start cleaning, only for the mop to snap. I then went outside only slip in the mud. I continue to the shed to get the spare mop only to find the key to the lock is gone from my pocket! I head round the side to the window of the shed already done with today only to discover its smashed. So back inside I grab the broom and come and clean up the glass that’s on the ground and windowsill, take the broken glass back inside, only to drop it right in front of the bin. So I clean that up, put the broom and dustpan back, head back to the shed, find the rest of the glass in the window had fallen out and made another mess so back to the broom! Get that done, go in the shed, get the mop, clean up the water, and as I am about to walk out the door with all the water in the bucket, I drop it! And it goes everywhere. Clean that up, toss it out, and go for a shower which, for some reason, wouldn’t go warm so yay cold shower in winter!

I finally head to my job out at a farm and as I park my car cuts off before I touched the keys. So yay dead car aswell. I exit my car and shut the door to the sound of shattering glass as my doors window fractures. I head into work only to find I have to work overtime because one of my co-workers is sick. So out into the paddock I go only to slip in more mud while carrying a bucket of chook food some now im muddy, and covered in feed! I go back to the shed only to be annoyed by a cow which wanted the feed on me. I make my way back, get to the chook pen, open the door to a crack. And the door drops of its hinges! Its fucking hinges broke! So now the chooks are running out and I have to spend the next 5, hours, catching these little shits while it rained.

I hunt down the last one to a more open and unmanaged paddock and catch it, only to discover, a pack of grinning slimes had made their way into the paddock from a part of the fence which had collapsed due to all the rain. They then start chasing my, laughing the whole time they are hunting me. I finally reach the security gate to this paddock and exit the area while these pink blobs are trying to get me. So I go and get the cattle prod and stab one of these blobs only to find out, its out of charge! The bloody slimes EAT the tool so that’s being cut from my pay.

I call a mage squad to round up these slimes only for them never to come thinking this was a prank call. So I look at my phone to see there is a cyclone coming! I am stuck at work. With a leak in my roof. A broken car and its window. And im stuck on a farm!

And you wanna know the best part!

Its not even a Monday! This is a Wendsay.

Monday was worse!