“Is it true? Did he kill her?”

Steve twirled his beard strands around his fingers. John was also in the room, his body still as a statue. Steve gulped. He looked to John but he was not helping him in any way. Tension had spread its fingers throughout Steve’s office. It was hardly polite of Ethan to storm in as he did but he didn’t care. He needed answers… Now.

“Yes.”

With confirmation, Ethan’s rage rose. Why didn’t they tell him earlier? Why’d they keep him away for so long? He could’ve killed this man years ago and moved on instead of wasting his time inventing something. A worried expression found its way onto Steve’s face reflecting genuine concern for once.

“H-how? Why was she there at the Congo Massacre? What was a bloody lawyer doing in a war zone?”

“It’s best we not talk about this any further,” began John for the first time in this meeting. “What’s in the past is in the past.”

“No,” Steve said firmly. “He needs to know. Everything.”

Waiting for Steve’s answer, Ethan second guessed himself. Did he want to know? She was perfect just as he remembered her. Innocent, naive, kind and a light in his life. What did she do that drove Steve to keep it from him for ten years. He was the one who picked him up off the floor when she left him. The one who wiped his tears away and then, almost overnight, vanished from his life. Why?

“Your mother and I were good friends. John as well and at one point Sigvald. She left us when you were born, resigning from the army after almost dying trying to give birth to you. She stopped being our comrade and devoted herself to being a mother… For you. Then, one day, she returned. But things had changed.”

Steve’s face darkened and the reminiscent demeanor that he began with faded. He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter than he was before. John glanced over at his friend who clearly had trouble recollecting the memories.

“Sigvald and his followers had defected, Jim had left for his first spy mission and our commander had died leaving me in his place. The war had taken a toll on all of us. We were different people than what she thought. In the six years to come, we saw her change as well. Ruthless, cunning, deceitful and manipulative of her enemies. She barely smiled, the disbanding of the group she once fought beside saddening her.”

That didn’t sound like her at all, Ethan thought. She always smiled. “You’re lying,” he said softly. “Mom could have never harmed a hair on anyone. She was innocent. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his wrinkled forehead. “Nobody’s innocent. I don’t blame her for becoming that person. It’s difficult to be good and survive. She always told me that everything she did out there was to stay alive because she didn’t want her child to be alone.”

“Why did she return in the first place, then?” Ethan asked.

Steve stood up from his chair and searched with his fingers for a bottle of wine on his shelf. He pulled out a dark green bottle with a tattered label. It was only half full, and the wine looked at least a year or two old.

He poured a glass for himself. “I don’t know. She had everything she ever wanted for years with you and then just… left it?”

Ethan’s brows furrowed as he tried to superimpose his mother with the woman Steve was describing. Her ‘business trips’ seemed to get more frequent the older Ethan got, sometimes leaving for weeks or even as long as a month. She always came back tired and weak. Ethan thought it was merely the flight, but perhaps it was something else.

“Enough with the backstory,” Ethan said in frustration. “What happened at the Congo Massacre?”

“The Congo Massacre was caused by Sigvald,” began John, taking advantage of Steve’s silence while drinking his wine. “The UN, for the first time in recent history, was hosting a physical, face-to-face meeting to discuss something. Our mission was to hold the blockade created around the city with an armada of airships.

“The Congo Gathering would change everything. With the war reaching its end and South Africa on the brink of being conquered, the meeting would seal South Africa’s fate. The world would thrive in our natural resources and use our fertile land as a mine dump for the jewels beneath our surface. Most importantly, though, it would open up give Earthers access to the only blind spot the Belt had and strike them when they least expected it, seizing their resources and robbing them of their independence. Their freedom. Earth would once more reclaim their colony.”

Steve finished his glass of wine, placing the tall glass gently on the table. Ethan grew frustrated with all this useless information. What did this have to do with his mother? She had no hand in any of these politics.

“Sigvald’s mission was to stop it. By any means necessary and his nuclear option was the bio weapon. Everyone was there. The strongest military presence the UN had ever summoned roamed the streets of the city. To cripple the UN here, would be to cripple the super-powers of the world. The end of the war as we’d know it.

“We had no idea one of our own airships was sabotaged by Sigvald and his forces, a bio-bomb being smuggled on board. When he dropped the bio-bomb, there was panic. An evac squad was dispatched from each of our airships in suits and oxygen masks to save whoever they could from the virus that was rapidly infecting the population below. Haley was among those.

“People often focus on how many people died that day forgetting how many were saved as well. Haley entered the infected city with her squadron. While the rest of her squad came out carrying victims on their shoulders, Haley was carried out of the zone by the people she saved. Supposedly, she gave others her oxygen in her tank leaving none for herself. She was dead before she even entered the hospital.”

The room fell into a deathly silence. Ethan gripped clenched his jaw. “Is that it? Is that everything?”

Steve nodded solemnly. “When we searched for evidence of Sigvald, there was none. Anyone who spoke up about the truth weren’t taken seriously because they had no evidence to back their claim. To this day, the greatest unsolved mystery is how the UN lost the war. What happened at the Congo Massacre? The only evidence of Sigvald ever being there was an audio from his airship to mine which was lost when our airship crashed. Besides, outing Sigvald would polarize the South African and Beltian communities perhaps even inspire more extremist movements. Despite the casualty count, he saved both the Belt and South Africa in the worst way possible.”

“And now you are hunting him?” Ethan asked for confirmation.

John nodded in sync with Steve. “Only recently when SEKT had resurfaced. For a long time, he had vanished. So long that we gave up looking. But he popped up on our radar recently and we’ve been chasing him ever since.”

“Why did you let her stay?” Ethan asked in a hushed tone. He was almost afraid that had his voice been any louder, he’d lose control of his bubbling emotions. “You were in charge, weren’t you?”

“She… She was valuable,” Steve said hesitantly. “She could’ve helped us, and she did.”

What do you mean valuable? Was that all she was to you?

“So you used someone’s mother to fight a war for you? Where were you when she was helping people on the ground?”

“He was coordinating hundreds of people,” John replied in Steve’s defense. “He couldn’t possib—”

“He could’ve done something!” Ethan shouted. “He could’ve… He could’ve… I don’t know… Anything!” his voice cracked. He dropped his head, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt to clear the blurriness. “Why did it have to be her?”

A moment of silence passed as Ethan could feel Steve and John's gaze watch him with pity. The last thing he needed was them to feel sorry for him like he was some helpless sheep lost in the cold night.

“I watched,” interjected Steve, lowering his gaze. “I could’ve done more, but I didn’t. I’m sorry, Ethan. She shouldn’t have died that day. Nobody should’ve.”

Ethan’s heart softened for a moment. He nearly sympathized with Steve. Nearly.

What guilt did he feel? Losing a friend and losing a mother aren’t the same. She was family to him. What was she to Steve other than an old friend?

“I don’t want your apology,” Ethan muttered through his gritted teeth. “I. Want. Him. So as long as you and I share a goal, I'm all yours.”

Steve nodded and then turned to John supposedly looking for his approval. “Are you sure about this?” John asked.

Ethan had devoted his life to helping the world. Perhaps helping them was secondary to his own revenge, but he strove to rid the world of something that had affected millions. With only three years left for him, could he not be selfish for once? Did he not earn this after ten years of struggling, sacrificing his friends and suffering for it? He deserved a happy ending and a happy ending for him was knowing he achieved what he sought after most. If he did that, his life would be worth something.

In another world, maybe he could’ve lived his life differently. Maybe he could’ve let go and moved on. Lived a long and content life, free of the pain he felt. But that wasn’t reality. The harsh truth was that it was too late for him to change and trying to was a risk he was not willing to take. Was it right? He didn’t know. But it was the only way forward and that was good enough for him.

He looked up at John with determined eyes hungry for vengeance. “Yes. I am.”