"Okay so what is that you want to talk about?" You ask krystal that minute you walk into the cafe that you and her both work at.

Krystal drags you into the lockers room before she begins to speak. "Okay so there's this guy that is friends with Jonathan and tell me why I get this mother fucking feeling of being full again as if I was just empty the entire time." You look at her curiously and weirdly.

"What do you mean?" You ask her confusedly. She sighs. "So I wanted to go watch Jonathan practice since I was bored but as they were playing while I was talking to Luna, my eyes instantly went on this guy that was on the team. And i think he felt my stare as we lock eyes and tell me why I wanted to go up to him and run into his arms like I felt full, that my body was happy as if I was empty and sad the entire time, like yes I know I'm bi but it seemed different with him, apart from Luna." She says fastly.

You stare at her, not knowing what to say. "Ha..ha..well um I honestly don't know, but have you talked to him when practice was over?" Krystal shakes her head no. You shrug your shoulders, not knowing what to say next, krystal shrugs her shoulders as well.

"But why did my heart felt like it knew him?" She mumbles as you hear but you put your things into your lockers. "Anyways, since I'm stressing over this, wanna go out? Like at the club?" You nod your head, wanting to drunk to take your thoughts away from him.

"Sure but first let's work okay?" You tell her as krystal nods her head before she can leave, you stop her. "Kris." You gently say, she looks behind her to look at you. "I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't raised my voice at you." You sadly say as krystal didn't deserve it. You look at krystal as she gives you a soft smile. "It's okay, I understood I kinda made you mad but like I'll be honest, you piss me off a lot." You both chuckle, she gives you one last smile before leaving the locker room.

You sigh as the anniversary day was over, so maybe you'll be able to sleep for the next few months.

But you push those thoughts away, planning on calling on your grandma after work as you remember seeing her being more tired than usual.

Just gotta make it through the day huh? You think to yourself before closing your locker and leaving the locker room, heading down stairs to help krystal as you heard a ding, signaling you that someone came in.

___

"dangsin-eun dangsin-ui yag-eul halmeoniege gajyeogan geos-i hwagsilhabnikka? naneun dangsin-i eotteonji algo issgi ttaemun-e." ( are you sure that you took your pills grandma? Because I know how you are. ) You say through the phone as you gather your things, ready to leave the cafe.

Your grandmother softly chuckles. "ne, salanghabnida." ( yes love, I did. ) You hum in response. "oneul bam hotel jubyeon-eseo doum-i pil-yoeobsneun ge hwagsil haeyo? naneun dangsin-i algoissneun dangsin-ui hotel-i jal allyeojyeo issdaneun geos-eul algo issseubnida." ( you sure you don't need help around the hotel tonight? I know your hotel is well known you know. ) You say worriedly, thinking that you should cancel tonight to help out your grandmother.

"nae ttalboda deo gojib-i sen ani, gwaenchanh-eulgeoya." ( aish, maybe your more stubborn that my daughter. No I'll be fine dear. ) You softly chuckle. "joh-a joh-a, naega neoleul naebeolyeo dulge." ( okay fine, I'll leave you alone old lady. ) You reply to her as you begin to head down the stairs and turn off the lights of the building.

"hajiman hwagsilhae-" ( but are you sure- ) Your grandma interrupts you as you just wanted to make sure. "nae nalg-eun eongdeong-ileul aiege matgisibsio." ( leave my old butt to rest child. ) Your grandma whines on the other side of the phone, making a smile break out from your lips.

"joh-a, halmeoni salanghae." ( okay, i love you grandma. ) You say hesitantly as sometimes you get scared to say those words. You don't really say often to anyone only a few times at Jonathan and your grandma but nope, no one else will even imagine that you say those words.

"nado salanghae." ( i love you too. ) She says on the other side of the phone, knowing that she's smiling at your words. Your grandmother hangs up the phone as you sigh, closing the door of the building before locking it.

You liked that your grandmother doesn't expect you to say those strong words often but when she remembers when she heard you say it for the first time that she ended up almost crying as someone that wasn't blood related to her had enough courage to say those words to a stranger as you said them because you were grateful to have her and everything she has done to help you take care of your brother at a young age.

So every time you said those words to her, she always appreciated them.

You softly and sadly smile at the thought.

You take your thoughts out of your head as you unlock your car and went in to start the engine, you sigh as you begin to drive, on your way to get ready for the club.

___

As soon as you got home, you went straight to the bathroom to take a fresh shower. As you finished cleaning your body and hair, feeling fresh, you went through your closet, checking to see what to wear.

As you tried on dresses to see what looked best, you finally found the one.

It was a mini white thin silk dress with a deep v-neck halter backless slit. It should your right thigh more as there was large slit but you didn't really care, you wanted to feel good for once, you want to feel loose and free but in a different way, despite you wouldn't change your music for the world.

You pair it with simple white and clear high heels. You quickly go into bathroom and grab your curling iron, you plug it in as you wait for it to heat up.

As it's heats up, you grab your straight silky dark brown hair and curl it into soft beach waves. You put on natural makeup and you stare at yourself in the mirror.

You sigh as you don't really enjoy dressing up in this way but you want to try different things, you don't really know why but maybe it had to do with jungkook. At least you don't have to see him.

Or you thought.

___

"Damn girly, you look fine as fuck." She says while looking at you up and down. "You better not check me out kris." You say as you watch her lick her lips. You look at her weirdly as you cough. "Um if you weren't my friend then I would've flirted with you, but like, I'm just tryna take in this beauty because I feel attack." You slightly chuckle at her words.

Yes, you weren't the party type but you want to do another way to not get lost into your thoughts.

"But girl, you look better than me. You are just as beautiful, better than me." You say as you see krystal in a two piece, wearing a silk bra but has lace on the bottom of it, while her skirt is covers her front and bottom but on the sides of her hips are covered in black lace while at the ends of her skirt has lace as well.

Krystal laughs in shyness before you and her both walk into the club that you guys decide to meet at.

The minute you walk in, your ears are blasted with loud music, people jumping up and down to the music and some other people swaying and grinding their bodies against their friends or strangers.

You and krystal head to the bar wanting to first drink to let yourself loose as both of your bodies were intense. As krystal orders a random drink, she hands you one as she decides not to tell you.

"Girl, you trying to drug me?" You ask her as she grins. She shakes her head. "Nope, I just want to let yourself loose." You look at the shot in your hand as you stare at it, debating if you should take a shot or not. You sigh leaves your lips as you shrug your shoulders before chugging it all at once.

You squint your eyes as the liquor burns down your throat as you weren't the type to drink.

"Okay now tell me what it is." You say to krystal. "It's vodka but eh." She says while she shrugs her shoulders, you do the same as well before asking the bartender for another one.

After your third shot, you felt yourself being intoxicated. You felt your head pounding against your head as your vision blurs. You squint your eyes as you begin to talk.

"Whatssss... luvvv? I don't... even know what that shit is." You say while sadly smiling. You tiredly look up at the bartender as you ask for another shot.

After six or seven shots, your giggling. "You...know whatttt? Ima dance my bodyyy...shit out." You say before getting up from your stool, you look to the right of where you were sitting to see a blurry krystal dancing against some guy that was amazingly beautiful.

"You...You go gril, oh i meant girl." You mumble, cheering your best friend.

You look at the dance floor and shrug your shoulders before walking weirdly to the crowd.

You begin to loosen your muscles as you begin to sway your body to the rhythm of the music which was streets by doja cat.

Losing yourself into the music, you feel a hand on your hips, you look behind you to see a handsome stranger so you decide to move against him but as you turn around, you look behind the stranger to see him.

You look at jungkook as he was looking fine as ever. Wearing leather pants that hugged his legs as his shirt was a button up but silky and black with black sparkles or glitter on the top.

As if he felts someone stares, his doey eyes meet yours and your breath hitches as you were slowly swaying your body to the music as he watched your every movement. He licks his lips while not paying attention to the girl that was beside him.

But you glare at him as he mirrors your glare. Both you and him point towards the exit of the club but you guys laugh as you both did it at the same time.

You both head towards the exit and the minute you both are outside, your being pushed against the wall while hands on your hips. Jungkook looks down into your amber eyes as you look into his brown orbs. "Hmm, I see your dancing with another guy?" He ask as he looks down at your lips.

You bite your lips before speaking. "Well you see doey eyesss, you left me." You slur while you look at his lips, feeling as if just by looking at him was sobering you. "Did not." He says.

"Did too." You reply.

"Nu huh." He says. "Yu huh." You say back before you both burst into laughter. "We sound like idiots while our bodies are closely together." Jungkook says as he looks into your eyes. You softly smile at him, as you both manage to still laugh, despite his body was pressed against yours, both of your areas were close together.

You both stare into each other's eyes with small smiles, but both smiles begin to fade away as you felt it was just the only two of you. Before you can get out of his grasp, thinking it was beginning to get awkward, you feel his warm pink lips against yours.

It was slow and passionate as the kiss wasn't rushed or anything, just the both of you taking your time and appreciating the moment while getting familiar with each other's lips.

You begin to feel something in your stomach as if it was jumping in excitement. But you suddenly feel nervous as your breath hitches when jungkooks large hands begin to go down your hips to your butt then your thighs, slightly lifting it up as he gives it a light squeeze, you slightly gasp as jungkook smiles into the kiss before pulling away while slightly panting for air.

"I really really like you amber and it was killing me of trying not to text you just to see you." You softly smile. "I really like you but we barley know anything about each other, wouldn't that be like rushing?" You ask with concern.

"That's why I want to try it out. I want to get to know you, know your flaws, your fears and past. Everything about you. I wanna know more of you as I tend to look past behind your cold gazes and actions just wanting to know you." You sigh while looking down. "But the curs-" jungkook interrupts you. "Fuck the curse, even if it still happens, I rather spend my time with you and not take you for granted, I wanna make memories even if in the end we'll end up falling in love and our memories being erased."

You look up at him to see anything as if he was saying the truth or lying because you, yourself.

You hate to admit it but...you were scared.

"I don't want to be stupid and waste time. I don't want to waste any seconds without you, because yes I'm scared but I always had this urge to get to know you and I'll do what my heart is telling me." He says sincerely as you both look into each other's eyes.

You search in his eyes as if he means it because the minute you let him in, you know you won't bare to even think about what will happen at the end of the year, as you just did all that for nothing, your courage and happiness just going to be thrown away and going to waste.

A loud sigh leaves your lips as you debate on listening to what krystal said about your grandmother and your brother.

Am I really hurting them by always putting them first and always losing myself in the process? You think to yourself.

Jungkook connects both of your foreheads together as he waits patiently for your answer. You sigh once again before looking up at him, moving your hands up, softly cupping his cheeks against your small hands.

You close your eyes as both of your foreheads are connected as one.

"Why not try?" You gently say as you open your eyes to see jungkook with his small bunny smile.

And in that moment, you were realizing that your walls were beginning to break.

But you were willing to risk it...

To give yourself a chance.

Because just by looking into his eyes, you see an imagine of him being the light to your darkness.

So it will be okay...right?

Were you making the right decision or not?

____________________

Oh I know that i blessed your eyes with that dangerous gif of devil jungkook so here's this soft angel jungkook to help you calm down your hearts. :)

But anyways, do you think ambers doing the right thing or a mistake?

Tell me your thoughts about this chapter and don't be afraid to tell me your dislikes and likes. :)

But hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave a vote, if you want. :)

Thank you for taking the time to read this long chapter and I want you guys to stay safe loves. <33