《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 301: He Fell Off
Advertisement
"I never thought of it that way." Ted said.
"That...that's actually brilliant," Narissa agreed.
Lucius's mask smiled at them. He had returned to his smaller size, and said,
Your accolades for my wisdom are noted,
Let's hope it doesn't make my ego bloated
"For a while there, I thought you were going to attack us," Azrail admitted. "I must say you're a lot calmer and more level headed than I expected."
Logic cares not for emotion.
Love. Hate. All irrelevant.
Foolishness is what I shun,
While I embrace true development.
The shape-shifting creature explained.
"Hey, so do you want to come with us? We're all sort of trapped here. So we may as well make the best of it, right?" Ted suggested. "I mean, it's not perfect, but things could be worse."
"Yeah, worse huh?" Narissa scoffed. "At least he seems like less trouble than some of the people already out and about."
Lucius's mask twisted into a frown.
I am no he,
Nor am I a she.
For your tired terms of gender
Are meaningless to me.
Azrail raised an eyebrow. "Aren't genderless creatures like angels generally referred to by masculine pronouns? And Lucius feels like a male name to me."
Lucius turned towards Azrail and slithered up towards him. They held out their mask towards his face and the face twisted into a scowl as they said,
Your mind is small, fragile, and limited.
You see patterns in far different subjects.
I may be genderless as you have said.
But your tired traditions are just my rejects.
I can not mate, breed, or reproduce.
For I am perfection and incarnate truth.
Respect my intelligence, my lack of weaknesses,
And the power my lack of distractions boosts.
Uh, yeah whatever you say dude. Death shrugged before he leaned towards Ted and lifted his hand to whisper into his ear. They got a little testy there, huh?
Advertisement
Ted sighed and shook his head. "Death, seriously. How do you forget every single time that whispering doesn't really work for you?"
Huh? What are you talking about bro? Death asked.
"Were you trying to whisper to Ted?" Azrail asked. "Your voice just sounded the same as it always does."
Narissa sighed. "After all that trouble you caused me down there, I should be a lot more upset with you. But, that's like being angry at a puppy. They just don't know any better...yet..."
Lucius took a step back from Azrail and looked slowly from one person to the next as they proclaimed in their myriad of voices,
Your antics amuse,
They distract from my losses.
So I shall join you.
"Huh? You didn't rhyme that time." Ted pointed out.
It's rhythm, not rhyme I tell you.
My words so sublime to your crew.
The rhythm you feel,
Your ears know the deal.
My speech truly is a virtue.
Lucius explained in their interesting way of speaking.
"A haiku and then a limerick," Azrail remarked. "Though, with some of your eccentricities I am a bit surprised you aren't exclusively speaking in iambic pentameter."
"Well, I'm glad at least you seem to understand it." Ted added. "Although, I have to say half the words you said sound familiar, but I honestly have no idea what they mean."
"They are types of poetry," Sid explained. "However, the limerick is less obscene than is normally expected of that style."
"Obscene? Poetry?" Ted scoffed.
Yeah, isn't poetry all frilly and lovey dovey or whatever? Death added.
Azrail smiled. "Hah! Obscenity has been with humanity for as long as thought has. Modern people do not hold a stranglehold on dirty thoughts." Azrail expounded. "Why, I remember on an expedition to these ancient ruins we found some old tablets. Our translator took weeks going through each of them."
Advertisement
Azrail smiled and shook his head as he continued his rant, "Well, when she finished, she just stormed out of her tent, and reused to speak to anyone. The other guard and I were suspicious. As, unearthing ancient ruins always runs the risk of letting loose some sort of trap, or madness among those who go knee deep in it."
"So, of course we had to go after her, and sneak into her tent and see if we could piece together what happened. We split up. He went after her, and I made my way into the tent. I had lost rock, paper, scissors to him you see." He continued.
Dude, is this going anywhere? Death interrupted.
"Of course, of course." Azrail said dismissively. "Now, where was I? Oh yes. She had extensive notes, and they were in Cyrillic, which I can read. Within no time, I knew why she was upset."
"Well, are you going to tell us?" Narissa asked. "Or do you plan to keep rambling?"
Azrail shook his head. "Why, they weren't ancient knowledge hidden away from mankind. They were, how should I put it...AH! They were essentially dirty letters sent between two lovers. All manner of promiscuous things filled those tablets, the acts they spoke of! Hah! It'd make a prostitute blush."
"I don't..." Ted started to speak, and then just gave a defeated sigh. "That's where you were going with all of that? They wrote dirty letters? You basically already said that as the preface to your story."
Yeah man, feels like you're kind of just wasting time? Death shrugged. Like if your friend was trying to set a trap for us back home, and you were trying to make sure they had enough time to finish.
Your example I must say, is oddly specific
Perhaps your vision sees a future, horrific?
Lucius mused as they started to walk away.
"Hey, wait." Ted said as he reached out towards Lucius. "Where are you going?"
Lucius turned around and their empty mask stared blanky at Ted.
Is this not how you came?
So to return we must go the same.
Advertisement
A healthy mind in a healthy body
288 A.D, he was born. 297 A.D, he realised he had evil impulses. 298 A.D he heard of Anthony of Egypt, and sought to follow his example to learn how to suppress his impulses. 303 A.D, he saw his people be persecuted. 306 A.D, his world changed thrice, the persecutions ended forever, this fact and his hermit lifestyle brought him peace which came with strange abilities, and through them he joined the Hidden Side of the World, back then not yet hidden. 307 A.D, he sought for a way to cure myself, yet he stumbled across something more. A reckless ritual connected him to a well of knowledge, driving him insane and immortal, causing him to be treated as a commodity in the supernatural community, an Oracle. 2019 A.D, its been 1712 years, and the lusitanian has ended up in the other side of the world in less than wholesome hands, a place which may have answers about the mysteries of his abilities, when an unexpected event cuts the connection and his sanity and mortality return. Gaius Atiius Quadratus will not forget this kindness. The MC is based on the monk class of many rpgs, but the story isn't Litrpg. Also he will gain non monk abilities after a while. Fair warning I don't understand the rating system but I'll say M-rated just in case. This is my first story, I accept criticism but I would like the critic to explain the reasoning behind it. Also I'm still figuring how this site works and I have no schedule so updates may be sporadic, at least once a week. Not a native speaker but in the practices, too lazy to actually get the diploma, I got an average of 9.7 out of 10 at the Cambridge C1 level, the CAE, second highest european level for foreign languages, so it should be no problem. Foto taken from Wikipedia. Cover made by me, excuse my utter lack of artistic talent.
8 237Monochrome Bleed
There’s a world surrounded by a black and white cage. A reality with cracks in it. A world that’s always on the brink of ending yet keeps on spinning. This is the Earth of the Monochrome Bleed. And this is the tale of a certain man and a certain woman, who both might or might not be entirely human. Who lead their live's making end’s meet, by venturing into places that most don’t dare go, looking for treasure, and other rare goodies. Occassionally saving a few lives along the way.
8 119Blue Moon Saga
A blue moon shines in the timeless night,Two youths fighting for what is right.A king who cannot age and never dies,An entire world that is based on lies.This is the tale of two as I tell it,I shall divulge the details as I see fit.But trust me, to hear this you must be strong,For anything can and will go wrong.-NarratorThis story consists of three parts with several arcs: Childhood, Adolescence and Adulthood. You'll notice the difference when we get there.Warning: Can contain course language and graphic violence. This story will first be updated on my blog: https://puebeck.wordpress.com/STATUS: Temporary HiatusReason: Work and motivation. I never intended Ragnar to be the MC, I've attracted the wrong kind of readers. That, and I got a shit load of work to do...
8 188The Merchant and The Neutral Inn
Argent's first caravan to the Demon Oligarchy ended in failure when he got attacked by bandits and swept away by a river. Waking up in an unfamiliar place, he learns he was saved by the proprietors of a unique inn, but with a huge cost... a 500 gold debt. Chained with this debt and having lost majority of his money, Argent decides he needs to find a way to earn. Offering his expertise as a merchant, he sets his sights on improving the inn's lackluster business.
8 125Feed The Hunger
Humans have long been oppressed by the many other races, and it is only through the ability to awaken powers that they were able to resist. Led by Emperor Morningstar, humans finally banded together and formed a lasting empire, the final bastion for the human race. But that was 190 years ago. Now, the other races are stirring and rifts have opened, bringing otherworldly creatures into play. These are the times that Kyrios Brand lives in. Powerless and Orphaned, he was forced to eke out a bare-bones living for most of his life. Every day is a course on why power is required to survive in this world. Eventually, unable to bear his desire to grow stronger, he asks someone he considers family for a chance. This is the story of what he makes of it and the penchant for flesh that he develops on the way. (A relatively slow paced story that is written from Kyrios's POV. The release rate is once a week) Artwork credits to Jortegloria from DeviantArt.
8 199The Mystery Fighter II
With her deadly secret out in the open, Cassie must fight even harder to protect not only her sister but her own heart. *****Cassie has never been in a tighter spot. In an unexpectedly grim fight, Julian, her annoying yet charming tutee, uncovers her deadly secret! With the threat of homelessness pressing down on her, she has no choice but to move in with him to keep her and her sister safe. But when the past continues to catch up with her, rival gangs ramp up their challenges, out for her head. And as Julian's family's dark past comes to haunt Cassie, a mysterious stranger's return could challenge everything she has built to protect.*Sequel to The Mystery Fighter*Content and/or trigger warning: scenes depicting violence[[word count: 60,000-70,000 words]]
8 86