《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 8: Banana man
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Name: Natasha
Race: Mandrill lvl 3
XP: 170
Size: 70
Type: Beast
Faction: Unaligned
Armor: 0
HP: 18
Strength: 4/Speed: 8/Endurance: 5/Magic: 1/Plasticity: 1/Luck 6
Senses: Vision 3, hearing 3, smell 2, taste 1, touch 2
Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 1, aposematism 1, innate magic 1
Skills: Bite 1, strike 2, grapple 2, throw 1, climb 1, sneak 1, hide 1, dash 1
Spells: Bluster 3
I slid down the side of the tree to the bush and landed with a quiet thud atop a root. Now, gathering up a thorny bundle would be really helpful. The question is just how to gather it. I scan the area quickly for a stick and snatch one up, not quite as long or sturdy as I’d like but good enough. Take it and isolate one branch of the thorns to weave the stick through and try to untangle the thorns. The whole bush swayed with my efforts and the stick bent but the vine didn’t come loose. Not very promising. If I wanted to untangle this I’d need to tackle it like a knot.
I circled around searching for a loose end, and found the tip of one vine, poking my stick through to nudge it back through the tangle it was nestled in. After about two minutes I realized if I was going to do this then it would take all day. I needed to figure out a faster way. I dropped the stick, reaching into my pouch for the knife when I remembered just the thing for this. I whipped out the oversized leather gloves. They didn’t fit my tiny hands in the slightest, but I didn’t need them to. I slipped them on, like a kid wearing their dad’s shoes and touched the thorns. They didn’t poke through the leather, so I was happy as a clam.
I spend what is probably the next hour meticulously struggling with this thorn bush to slowly untangle and unfurl from each other before I had the first one hung out straight from the stem. I let out a long frustrated sigh before rolling up my metaphorical sleeve and getting back to work, taking the occasional break to make sure I wasn’t about to be pounced on by a hungry lizard again. Probably another hour of work goes by and I flop down onto my butt tired and thirsty.
Now the bush looked like a wholly different creature when you untangle it. Like you took someone’s afro and straightened it out. Looked weird. But, it meant that I could get right in close, bring the knife up and just saw off each individual vine, leaving me with one blank stem, and about maybe sixty branches, each about ten feet long. It was plenty to work with, but the question was now about how do you make rope into a net? I probably won’t get more than two chances at getting this right, so best learn fast. Divide it into two stacks, and go for try number one.
First thing I do, lay four vines out in a square, and I shave the thorns off of the corners with a knife. I twist those corners into a simple knot, giving it a tug to make sure it’s tight. Good, now grab the rest of the vines and lay half of them across vertically, shaving the thorns off the tips to tie them on. Once both sides are tied I lay the other half horizontally and start trying to weave it under and over again which takes way longer than it looks. Shave the ends, tie it on and I have one big square net that kind of looks more like a wicker basket than a net. I gave it a few tugs, and it seemed fine at first, but as soon as I got one end wrapped around the stem for a harder tug it snapped.
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Well, if that doesn't work, I just need to spread the tension out more. So I salvaged the vines I could and tried again, this time I laid them out into a square and laid them all vertically across. This time the pattern would be more dense, using fifty instead of thirty, and instead of a wicker basket pattern, I’ll try more of a fishnet look. After all, it’s literally called fish net. So I take every pair of vines and go down a few inches before knotting them together. If this one fails there won’t be much to salvage. Go down another few inches and knot it together with the opposite neighbor instead. Now it’s a diamond shape. Just repeat this again, all the way down, and this one looks like a goth giant’s stockings.
I wrap the edge around the stem and give it a tug again. Not sure if it’s the pattern or if it’s just denser, but it held together this time. So now I officially have a prototype net that I can use. All I have to do is weigh down the corners and drop it on a pack of rats… theoretically. No clue if it’ll actually work. I search around for a couple baseball sized rocks, taking some unused vines and tying them to each of the corners by very thoroughly wrapping them up and trying it up into the existing knot. I grabbed a hold of the middle, and pulled, but man it was heavy. This wasn’t going to be easy to lug around. A bit of a flaw in my plan I suppose.
I thought about it, biting the inside of my cheek lightly, trying to imagine what I could do. I suppose that it wouldn’t be so awful to just lug the net around just once and leave it there at the spot I use it. It would be a hassle but much less than going back and forth every day. But wait, can I even climb a tree with it? I almost cringed at the thought, it hadn’t even occurred to me up to this point. I started to grab the net with one hand and try to climb with the other, but no, not a chance. I hung my head, a quiet thunk as my forehead hit the trunk. Great. Well, maybe this is salvageable.
I raised my head again, tugging the net along the ground, rearing up and trying to throw as wide as possible to not risk sticking myself. It flew out, just not very far. If I threw it like that, the whole pack better be right in front of me, but what if I… I grabbed the net again, rearing back for another wide throw but as soon as all four stones were off the ground, one harsh breath shot out, a shock of wind catching the net and sending it sailing through the air a good thirty feet.
See, now that is something I can work with. I can’t climb with it, but I can toss it, and climb after. A plan always comes together if you keep throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. Getting back to the area where the rats were won’t be easy. Traveling across the ground is a lot more dangerous than through trees, and I can’t even be stealthy. So frankly I may as well try and go as fast as possible and just hightail it if I see anything dangerous.
I am no genius, but I am pretty proud of myself for all of this. Heck even if it doesn’t work, I just made a functioning net out of a thornbush and rocks. If I could have ever done that back home I would have never stopped bragging about it. Casual conversation starter. Hey, how are you? How’ve you been? I can make a hunting net out of thorn bushes and rocks. If I ever make it home, bragging rights, forever.
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I was pulled out of my contemplation by the sound of birds overhead, and grabbed a hold of the net, dragging it along to the general area I’d seen the rats were. It took more work than I thought to drag the net along. It wanted to get caught on literally everything that I crossed. Bushes, roots, sticks, everything. I made it maybe a quarter of the way before spotting one of those lizards above with its eye on me. It started to skitter around the tree, thinking he was slick. Didn’t count on my better eyes. I halfway ignored it, but always kept it in my peripheral.
I tossed the net again as the lizard circled around the other side of a tree. I knew he was going to go for a bite as soon as I passed by it, but I currently have 6 hp, and I am not going to risk getting chomped for 70 XP. Especially since I need 130 in order to level and heal up. I really need to figure out if there is another way to heal besides leveling, because needing to kill things in order to not get killed is a terrible way to stay alive.
I get to where the tree is, not getting close enough to where it could snap at me, and rounding the corner. I took a deep breath in before it came into view and the lizards started to dart forward. Maybe it has the dash skill too? I however had bluster, and blew the lizard off its feet. This was my first time properly seeing the effect bluster had on a decently sized enemy, and I was fairly certain that this could probably knock away even something human sized, though not nearly as far as the lizard landed some thirty feet away.
It didn’t look injured, but it did look rattled, squirming and spinning over onto its feet, scampering up the side of another three and out of sight. I’m starting to think bluster was my best decision in this world so far. Just based on trying to stay alive, being able to knock anything back at will is pretty useful, not to mention the utility. Though I am kind of sad that I didn’t get to kill it, I could really use all the xp I can get after all. The bites in my arms ache as soon as I think about them again but I shake my head slightly.
Come to think of it, none of these bites were that bad compared to the lizard bite before, or the frog, but I still had my health more than cut in half. Cumulatively they did more damage to my hp, but they didn’t do as much actual damage. It made me wonder. If a needle pricking my finger did only one damage, and I poked myself eighteen times, then I would die. If a wolf came through and ripped me in half but only did 17, then I wouldn’t. How does that work? I thought back to the fight with the lizard and after we fell it took a moment after the fall to die. Was that because of internal bleeding? In that case being ripped in half would still kill me.
So the more I think about it, the more this “system” seems to err on the side of death. Which I guess is more towards erring on the side of the player rather than the monsters. Something I’d expect from games, but it sucks being on the receiving end of. I huffed and shook off the thought, dragging the net along with me towards the general area where I’d spotted the rats. After another minute I was panting loudly and trying to drag the net across a root, but it kept getting caught in snags. My frustration only serves to make me notice all the little annoyances more.
In the shade of the trees it was cooler, but it was still both hot and humid, the sounds of little bugs buzzing in the distance was irritating, and the birds kept up their constant chirping, singing, and weird little ambient vocalizations you expect in a jungle. Normally all of it was just white noise, but dragging myself along the ground pulling this net that weighs nearly as much as I do, with my arms and one leg aching and also constantly on the lookout for anything that might try and sneak up on me, but my keen monkey hearing seems to be wasted since everything is constantly making noise…
Another huff escaped my mouth, though this time an involuntary one as I noticed a rustle in the trees above. I glanced up and expected to see another lizard, but instead, draped over several branches was a long and drooping body, wrapped around the sturdier lower branches. Light brown scales blended in with the wood and the head was a bright yellow, resembling the leaves of the tree in color and shape. It looked like it must have been at least fifteen feet long, but it’s hard to tell wrapped around the branches. The biggest snake I’d ever seen.
Luckily for me it was some twenty feet in the air, so I could look at it from a safe distance, and really it was a beautiful looking snake, but it was also terrifying to see as a monkey, something that could undoubtedly and easily eat you. The middle section of the body was nearly as big around as the branch it curled around, and was entirely muscle. Probably some kind of constrictor, like a python, or an anaconda. Anacondas were the constricting ones right? It’s hard to recall information when looking at a snake as big around as a basketball and as long as a semi truck.
I shook my head, trying to stay focused, but keeping an eye on the giant snake. The last thing I need is to test my mettle right now. So, carefully lifting the net and dragging it along, I picked up my pace a little bit, trying to dash any time I’d made it to a clearing to cover more ground. By the time I’d finally gotten generally around where I’d left, both my arms were sore, and I had half a mind to flop down and take a nap, but the other half wasn’t stupid. So I hefted the net up again, aiming for the lowest branch I could and tossed the net up, taking a big breath and blustering the net up as high as I could. Sending the thorny net flying straight up into the air… and right back down.
The throw had fallen short of the branch by a few feet, and fell back down. Lucky for me, as it opened up, it seemed to naturally splay out into a square from the wights at the corners. Unfortunately for me, I threw it straight up and it started falling straight down. My eyes widened as the thorns descended upon me like an open maw and I scrambled to get out of the way in time. I was very lucky to have had the dash skill, as I tumbled just out of range, hearing the weight of the net thwump down onto the dirt. A little too close for comfort.
Getting back to my feet, I saw my overly large gloves had flown off my hands in two different directions. One landed in the middle of the clearing, and the other in a bush. I really need to be more careful when throwing that thing. I sidled up to the one in the middle of the clearing and snatched it up, slipping it back onto my hand. I start towards the bush, but about halfway there I stop. I see the glove on the bush, but something feels off. Something in my gut was telling me that there was something wrong with the bush, even if I couldn’t see what it was. Like that feeling you get when you’re about to turn off the light and you’re absolutely certain some horrible nightmare creature will chase you up the stairs.
Only this time I’m a monkey in the jungle, and there’s a good chance that there is some sort of nightmare monster in the form of a spider the size of a large dog, or a half crocodile half tiger, or something too messed up for me to even get an idea of cause nature is scary. Still, I am very much convinced that there is something wrong with that bush, and I don’t know what. The last time something ran out of a bush, it was just rats, which I was hardly bothered by. I looked closer, taking a very tentative step towards the bush when it hit me. It was the smell. I could smell something upwind from me. Of course I didn’t know what it was, but it clearly shook me, so perhaps my biology knew even when I didn’t.
I took one more step closer when I felt my fur standing on end, everything in me screaming danger. I didn’t even wait a full second before jumping backwards, just in time to see two mandibles snapping forwards as they rushed out of the bush, two tiny compound eyes looking right at me, and two long tendril-like antennae waving wildly in the air. I had no time to process what I was seeing, just dashing backwards as fast as I could. My pursuer however, didn’t slow down in the slightest, thundering after me as it ripped through the bush. Then, as the long body came into view, dozens of black tipped clawed legs dragging itself forward, I recognized it now.
The centipede. It was at least six feet long, not counting the antennae or tail, and if you did count the legs, as broad as a writing desk. It darted forward with an alarming amount of speed, in fact I was pretty sure it was faster than me, which hardly seems fair. It snapped those jaws at me again, and I again threw myself backwards, away from the crawling horror. I had no clue what to do, so I did the only thing I could to make space, letting out a screech as the buffeting wing shocked forth from me and sent the front half of the centipede tumbling over the back half. There was no grace to its movements, untangling itself by writhing like it’d been electrocuted.
I have no clue how to fight this thing, and I’m nearly dead already. How the heck am I supposed to take on what is probably the single freakiest thing in the jungle? I leapt up to a tree and started climbing, but I could already hear it skittering towards me, and then clattering up the bark. I had no ideas. I can’t break through that thing’s armor, and I can't outrun it. What am I supposed to do here? I run out onto a branch and leap from this tree and onto another, only glancing back to see how close it was. To my horror, those long tendrils were almost touching me before I jumped. I took a moment to breathe as soon as I’d made it across, but that was a mistake.
As soon as the centipede made it to the edge of the branch, it kept going, holding itself up by each next pair of legs as it bridged across, latching the jaws around the tip of the branch and dragging itself forwards like there was no break in the branch at all. I ran again, climbing to a higher branch as I heard it effortlessly skitter after me, leaping again, but this time only grabbing the branch and throwing myself onto the trunk and sliding down. I can’t just run forever. I need to think of something that can hurt this thing.
I heard the centipede forcing itself forward through the foliage to bear down onto me, but I was already on the ground and trying to make some space. That idea was disillusioned by the loud thud behind me, and the clatter of clawed legs against bark. I grabbed my knife in one hand and half turned as I darted in another direction, quickly swiping the knife at the antennae, only nicking the tip, but it was enough to cause it to flinch. Also, it means that some parts of its skeleton are weaker than others. Which is good, but hardly helpful right now.
I scrambled up a tree yet again, hearing the snapping of jaws just behind me. I still have no plan. How the heck am I going to fight something that clearly outclasses me in every regard? I made it up to the first branch, but I didn’t take the time to climb up, swinging under it to change directions quickly. Now I could feel the cumulative pain from my injured arms slowing me down. It started to feel like I was swimming through pudding, but I still made it to the opposite side of the tree and dropped back down, not even climbing, just falling and sliding my hands and feet along the bark, slowing myself down enough not to break anything.
I could feel the skin being rubbed off on three of my four limbs, but the one was still gloved. That’s when I got the lightbulb moment. I landed on the root of the three and immediately dashed towards the center of the clearing. I didn’t even look back and check where the centipede was, I could see the tips of the antennae in my peripheral vision. All I could hear at this point was my own heartbeat ready to explode out of my chest as I rushed for the net. Both hands came down, grabbing onto the thorny vines.
-1 hp
I whirled around, twisting my entire body as fast as I could and leaping away from the snapping jaws. I then saw how close I was. Everything felt slow motion, seeing two black tipped pincers poised around my shin, curling in for a no doubt venomous bite. Still, the net was flying over, and I tightened every muscle in my chest, blowing another shock of wind outwards. The tips of the mandibles curled in as the wind hit at an angle, forcing its head down into the ground, and the net scattered over it, tangling in those long thin limbs.
I landed on the ground shoulder first, and scrambled back on my elbows and feet, seeing it still trying to drag itself forwards, but it couldn’t make it more than a foot forwards, tangling itself further. I don’t know if the thorns were of any use against its skeleton, but it can’t chase me, which means that I am the one with the advantage now. It thrashed about like fish on land, but had no clue how to free itself, just tangling into more knots. So I pulled my knife and jumped forwards, grabbing at the flailing antennae. It took a few tries to snatch one, but once I had one, I just laid my entire weight on it. It was still lifting me a bit as it flailed, but it was enough.
I drew my knife again and raised it to the tip of the antennae and chopped at it. There was a lot of resistance, but once it was through it was easy. It felt a lot similar to chopping shrimp. The creature thrashed even more wildly than before, but I just kept holding on. I didn’t flail wildly like I did with the frog. I put my many years of experience chopping veggies for dinner to use, and started taking out as thin of a slice of antennae as I could. I may only be doing 1 damage to it but do it enough and it will still die.
I kept chopping and chopping and chopping, and the centipede never just gave up thrashing. Eventually I got too close to the head and the jaws tried to get at me again, so I just switched to the other antennae, doing the whole thing over again. It was a long and arduous process, gradually whittling it down, wrestling to try and keep it under my control, but eventually I’d reduced the antennae both down to less than two feet long. Unfortunately, it was still squirming. Now I’m almost out of ideas, almost.
I circle around to the back end, or rather where the back end had curled to, and found the two long tail-like limbs and dashed in to grapple them both. Holding two at once was even harder, it had the strength to actually lift me a bit, but I chopped off both of those tips and kept on working, just like I had before, starting to chop, chop, chop to whittle them down. Unlike before though, I noticed the thrashing increase, and the distinctive sound of snapping vines. That was not good. I spared a glance back, and saw some of the legs had managed to rip through. All that meant for me though was double time.
I picked up my pace, feeling myself starting to be dragged a bit as it tried to squeeze its body through the hole it had made in the net. I could see the middle coming free and wildly gripping at the ground to drag either half of its body out, which pulled me in so the thorns were getting closer to my back. It was only a matter of time now, and I was less chopping now and more hacking like a butcher’s knife. I could see the head whipping up and out, and almost lightning fast shot towards me in a blind fury.
I was out of time, I rolled away from the tail, one still having nearly three feet long, but the other just one foot. The head snapped at where I was but didn’t immediately follow as I rolled away. It whirled around, in my direction, but its head was bobbing wildly. I clocked almost immediately that its eyesight was poor, and must have mostly tracked me with some other sense with those antennas. At least this means I still have a chance.
My arms were shaking, but I started sneaking, stepping as lightly as I could as it moved closer, following where I had been. I raised the knife, terror gripping my chest as it drew closer. Everything in my body told me to run, but I took my shaky hand, raised it up, and just as the head came within arms reach, seeing it turn to me, and jaws retracting to snap, I stabbed directly down onto the eye.
1000 XP.
Level up available

Boris
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