❝My bad, my bad for tripping on you❞

- Ella Mai, Trip.

After my kiss with River, and my first kiss ever, I felt happier. I didn't know why, maybe it was because we had gotten closer or maybe it was proof that he liked me too.

After our kiss that day, I'd apologized again for biting him and we'd both laughed about it. River's arm around me as we talked and talked about so many things. We'd managed to form random constellations for ourselves, and in the end when I got home, it was a little too late. Tanner had fussed about it, but I just kissed his cheek and said it was no big deal. Besides, he was the one who wanted me to get a job and I did, but I'd also wondered how he would react if I told him I'd had my first kiss that day.

Nothing was awkward after then between me and River, though. In fact, that night, I'd called him and read out my history text to him, but this time he told me to try to understand what I was reading, and that's what I did. My history test was pretty alright. I couldn't quite get all the answers but it was better than any other history test I'd written. Same for my English and even the main AP Biology test. I would wait behind after work and read out to River. Sometimes we would make jokes and have good laughs. Some of the jokes even helped me remember what I'd read. Sometimes when River felt I'd done enough reading, we would go out to get some fro-yo.

On Wednesdays when I didn't work, he would call me. I didn't think it was possible but I fell deeper and harder for him even with all the little gestures he probably thought didn't matter.

Right now, I lay on my bed. It was 11pm and I couldn't sleep. I had a calculus test the next day and that was scaring the daylights out of me. There was no way I could read out my calculus text to River, so I hadn't bothered telling him. Kaleb on the other hand, had been down with a cold for some days now, so he couldn't come over to help me study.

I tossed and turned, then without thinking, I grabbed my phone and dialled River's number. I bit my lower lip, waiting for him to answer, and he picked it on the fifth ring.

"Hey," his voice was raspy and deep.

"River... I'm sorry, I'm sure I woke you up."

"It's alright. Is everything okay, though? Are you okay?"

I sighed, sitting up on my bed, "Yep. Just scared."

I heard a muffling sound and a soft laughter follow it, "Of ghosts?"

I smiled, "No, of course not. I have a test tomorrow and—"

"What? A test? You didn't tell me. I would have—"

"It's calculus."

"Oh."

"Exactly," I let out a breath, "There was no way I could have read it out to you."

"And quite honestly, I always sucked at calculus. And any of kind of math, really."

I chuckled, "I hate math."

"How about you just look at your text and follow the examples? You should be able to get something."

"I usually try to do that, but I don't know, it all feels like I have to work some particular magic in my own."

He laughed lowly, "Well, how about friends who can quickly go over some basic steps with you tomorrow?"

I thought of Kaleb. He would be coming to school, "Yeah... Yeah, I'll do that. But speaking of friends, do you have any?"

"I mentioned a Xavier to you once. That's about my only friend, and maybe two others."

"Why? You're really cool and fun to be with. Shouldn't you have more friends?" I wasn't exactly sure why I asked that. I literally had just two friends.

"Thanks for the compliment," I could almost see him smile. "I'd rather just keep my circle really small and trustworthy, you know, than be friends with everyone under the sun."

"You're right. Does Xavier go to school?"

"Yeah, he does."

"How does it feel not going to school? I mean, if your best friend goes to school, does it make you wish sometimes that you attended?"

"Not really. I'm happy where I am. No drama, no homework, no tests."

I chuckled, "I hate you for the last part."

We kept talking and I was all smiles. It felt so good listening to him, talking to him. It was cute when he said something hilarious but didn't know how funny it was, or when he paused from time to time to ask if I was still there.

We were both silent, then River asked, "What's on your mind right now?"

I shrugged, "Like, right now? Coffee. I want coffee. How about you?"

"As at the time I asked you that, I was thinking of how comfortable I am comfortable around you."

"I am comfortable around you too," I told him in a quiet voice.

"Really, I've never stayed up talking to anyone till 1am."

"Me too," I gasped. "It's 1am?!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for keeping you up, I know you have a test tomorrow."

"It's fine. I like talking to you."

"Same here, but I should let you go now. We'll see later today?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"I still think you should try looking at examples, though."

"I will."

"You look like you had a rough night," Kaleb told me the next day on our way to school .

"No," I smiled. "I was just up until 1am talking to River."

"Hey, how's it going between you two?"

I grinned, "Amazing. He's the sweetest guy I've met."

"After me," Kaleb said and I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "It's just... I fall harder for him each time."

"Has there been any more kisses after the first time?"

I flushed, "Just once after the first time."

I smiled at the memory of the second time. It had been at the bakery and it wasn't exactly like the first time. It was something softer.

Kaleb was quiet for a while, "Has he told you how he feels?"

I shook my head.

"And he's kissed you twice?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Rae, he can't keep kissing you if he won't tell you how he feels. He should let you know, so you two know where to go from there."

I frowned, "I know he feels the same way."

"But has he said it?"

Still frowning, I sank lower into the seat.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't like what I'm saying but you deserve to know how he feels about you. If he keeps kissing you, then he should as well tell you how he feels, so you're not hurt in the end. I don't want you hurt."

I didn't say anything. Deep down, I knew River felt the same way I felt for him.

My calculus test wasn't the best.

Yes, I had looked at the examples after talking to River. It had helped, but just a bit. I wasn't happy about the test and it made me feel worse that I'd done the others feeling a bit satisfied in the end. I couldn't wait to tell River about it because I knew would make me feel better.

Speaking of him, right now, we both hadn't let ten minutes pass without us making eye contact. I smiled at him and he smirked, holding up a cup of coffee.

My smile widened, and I remembered our last conversation when I told him I wanted coffee.

I watched him pick his phone from the table, looking at it, and then raising it to his ear. He stood up and made for the front door and I got back to focusing on what I was doing.

"Renée, I'm sorry, please could you help me go bill the man by the window? I didn't bill him when he came to he counter," Marnie told me.

"Yeah, sure," I replied and took the paper she held from her.

I walked to the customer and handed him the bill. I was on my way back to the counter when I stopped in my tracks as I saw River standing outside. I wondered what he was doing there when a car pulled up to the parking lot. My eyebrows furrowed and I watched closely as River moved to the car. A girl with black hair and tan skin came out of the car. She looked flawless with curves in the right places. I couldn't make out any more details but then, something settled in my stomach.

I didn't know what she was saying to him or what he was saying to her, but River leaned into her and gave her a long, deep kiss. There and then, I felt my stomach drop.

There and then, I felt my heart break.

●