《A Secret Service [NOW PUBLISHED]》Chapter 24 - "You don't have to talk to her."
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The locker room rang with the laughter of girls and the clanging of metal doors. Carter laced up her shoes, ignoring the clamor.
Outside, summer felt on the horizon, the sky dotted with puffy clouds and the breeze lacking any chill. She noticed none of it. A scattering of students were positioned on the track, talking. Off to the side, Mr. Danes stood looking over a clip board.
"You need something, Owens?" he asked, as Carter walked over.
"What are we doing today?"
Mr. Danes gave her his full attention as if the simple question was surprising.
"The usual mile run and then a game of soccer."
Carter nodded.
"Okay," she said. "Well, you know I'm here."
Mr. Danes gave her a baffled look. She didn't notice as she turned and started running, just as Donovan and Link stepped out of the locker room. They watched her silently, Link frowning.
"I can't keep up with her," Link said.
Donovan looked at Link before taking off after Carter, who gave no sign that she noticed him as he came alongside and easily kept pace with her. Neither spoke. They moved in rhythm, their breaths and strides matching.
They were on the opposite side of the track when Carter glanced over at Donovan, finally aware that he was there and the way they moved in sync with each other. He met her gaze for a brief second.
"You're meeting her today."
It was a statement without a hint of doubt. Carter gave a single nod.
"After school?" he asked.
Another nod.
"What made you decide to see her?" he asked.
Carter didn't answer right away, her thoughts still racing.
"I wanted her to have to look at me and own up to abandoning us."
Donovan nodded and they continued in silence. By the time the rest of the class was beginning their miles, Carter had forced aside her distracted state. They slowed their pace as they came alongside Link.
"You two are freaking synchronized when you run, you know that?" he said.
"What can I say," Carter said. "I've had to run with my dad, so I'm used to slowing my pace for someone else."
Donovan gave her a flat look and she smiled.
"I believe we've already established that I am the faster runner," he said.
"I think those results were wrong because I had already been running at top speed before you decided to race me."
"An excuse worthy of someone who has lost."
Link groaned.
"Either race or don't," he said. "Just don't make me listen to this anymore."
Donovan and Carter exchanged smiles, but said nothing else.
***************
Back in the locker room after class, Carter's preoccupied disposition returned. As she dressed, her mind fretted over the approaching reunion with her mother. As she exited the locker room, she saw Donovan and Link waiting.
They took up positions beside her and they all made their way to the entrance of the school. Outside a line of chauffeured town cars filled the gravel drive. Students cut around the three of them, hurrying to their cars, waving to friends as they went.
"Are you driving to meet her?" Link asked.
Carter shook her head. "No, I'll take the metro."
"You want us to give you a ride?" Link asked.
Carter looked down at the stone steps and back up, shaking her head.
"No," she said, but she didn't move.
Donovan nodded to the parking lot.
"The car is this way," he said.
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In the twenty minute drive it took them to get to the restaurant, not a single word was spoken.
Donovan parked in an open spot outside the restaurant, leaving the car idling. Carter looked in the window, her gaze jumping from each of the restaurant's occupants until it settled on her mother, talking on the phone.
"She's the blonde two tables back on the left," Carter said.
"You okay?" Link asked.
Carter gave a single nod that neither Donovan or Link were convinced by, but they made no comment.
"I never actually thought I'd have to deal with her again," she said. "After the third year of wishing she would come back, I gave up."
She fell silent, the car's engine the only sound filling the small space.
"You don't have to talk to her," Link said.
"I know," she said. "But I need to."
She looked over at Donovan then twisted back to Link.
"Thank you," she said.
They each nodded.
"You want us to wait?" Link asked.
Carter paused, mulling over the offer then shook her head.
"Thanks, but I'll be fine."
She took a breath and opened the car door. The sounds of the city filled the air around her, the wind slipping between buildings and carrying away the persistent honking of horns.
Rearranging her features into a blank mask, Carter pulled the restaurant door open. Classical music floated through the air, mixing with the clinking of silverware.
Carter's mother noticed her and stood. When Carter approached her, they appraised each other for a stiff moment. Her mother looked as immaculate as always, not a strand of hair out of place. She gestured to the seat opposite.
Carter took the seat and stared at her mother for a long moment. In her face she saw all the features her own face held which she hated: the tan skin, high cheekbones, bow lips. Her blue eyes alone were her father's.
A waiter appeared, a notepad in hand.
"Are you ready to order?" he asked.
"I don't want anything," Carter said.
Her mother smiled, the look holding apprehension.
"You sure? You just came from school. You must be hungry."
Bitter anger sparked inside Carter but the flash of emotion didn't show on her face.
"I don't want anything," she repeated.
Her mother shifted back in her seat, nervously tugging at her necklace. Carter watched her, trying to fight the conflicting emotions battling inside. Their eyes met for a moment, and her mother coughed, as if about to say something, but the words never made it past her lips. The murmurs of their fellow diners drifted around them, a dull buzz of background noise.
"Why are you here?" Carter asked, her voice toneless.
Her mother crossed her legs and pressed down her skirt.
"I was in town and thought I would see how you were both doing-"
Carter shook her head, her face impassive.
"Let's dispense with the lies," she said, calmly. "Tell me why you're here."
Her mother brushed back a piece of her hair, her fingers twitching.
"I'm sure your father has told you," she said.
Carter didn't reply. Her mother swallowed and clasped her hands, placing them on the cream tablecloth. Her nails were perfect half moons, painted pink.
"I came to have him sign the divorce papers and settle things with our lawyer," she said.
Anger flared inside Carter as she stared at her mother, furious she could make the statement with such an uncaring tone. The words formed a wall between them. Carter shifted back in her seat, resting her elbows on the armrests, her expression neutral.
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"Why did you need to talk to me then?" she asked, her tone bland.
Her mother leaned forward.
"I wanted to see how you were doing," she said.
A mocking, disdainful smile slipped onto Carter's lips, the sight making her mother tense.
"You wanted to see how I was doing..." she said, slowly, the words undercut with condescension.
"Alright," she said, her tone carefree. "You want to know how I'm doing so it will ease your conscience? Then know this: I'm fine, mother." She flashed her a wide fake smile, waving her hand in a flippant gesture. "You may now go and live your life knowing that your only daughter is doing...just...fine."
Her mother looked at her with pleading eyes as if each word was opening up a deep wound. Carter read the look and felt no sense of pity.
"Carter," her mother said, her voice flooded with emotion, "please let me explain-"
"No need. You clearly decided your own happiness was of greater importance than that of your family's."
"Carter, that's not why I left," she said.
Carter raised one patronizing eyebrow.
"No?" she said. "Why, was my father beating you? Was he drinking into all hours of the night and coming home drunk to pass out on the couch? Was he unloving? Was he uncaring? Did he not provide everything we needed?" Carter gestured to her mother, with a look a fake intrigue. "Please, do tell."
Her mother's distress was plainly written on her features. On the table, her phone dinged and she glanced at it, something softening in her gaze. One hand went to her necklace. Carter's mind pounced.
"Who is he?" she asked, her voice smooth as glass.
Her mother's gaze jumped to Carter's, her eyes widening. Carter could read the denial in her eyes and shook her head.
"Don't lie to me," she said.
"He is just someone-"
"I said don't lie to me."
Her mother shifted and reached up to the necklace again, finding comfort in its familiarity. She crossed one arm over herself as if trying to build shield against Carter.
"Someone from work," she said.
Carter's gaze flickered to her mother's left ring finger, noticing a faint tan line.
"You're engaged" she said.
Her mother gulped, the answer obvious in the guilt in her eyes.
"Yes."
A new deep pain cut through Carter as the image of a faceless man consumed her mind. It become tangled with the image of her mother laughing at his words, kissing him like she had kissed Carter's father, building a life with him. The images tore into her, angering her at the thought of her mother finding happiness.
"Did you tell Captain?"
Her mother gave a weak smile at the nickname.
"I remember the first time you-"
"No."
Her mother stopped talking.
"We're not talking about the past. You forfeited your right to those memories," she said.
Her mother gave her a shocked look, her mouth opening and closing, trying to search for someway to bridge the chasm between Carter and her.
"Does he know?" Carter asked again.
Her mother blinked and shook her head.
"No," she said, weakly. "He doesn't know."
"Good, then you will not tell him," Carter said, leaning forward. "Understood? I think one hell is enough, don't you?"
Her mother looked like Carter had slapped her. Then her face took on a hard look, her eyes blazing with fury.
"You can not talk to me like this, I am still your mother," she bit off.
Carter stood and looked down at her with a cool gaze.
"That is where you are wrong," she said. "You stopped being my mother the moment you walked out that door."
Her mother stood, tears building up in the back of her eyes.
"Carter, I'm so sorry," she said.
"Sign the papers and leave," Carter she said, the words having no effect. "Don't try and see us again. You haven't been part of our lives for four years and it's better that way."
Her mother's eyes went wide.
"Enjoy your meal," Carter said, her words hollow. "I told you I didn't want anything and I meant it."
****************
The apartment was quiet when Carter entered, the silence feeling like a physical weight. She walked into her room and dropped her bag on the floor. Without turning on any lights, she climbed into bed and leaned against the wall, staring out the window.
The sun was drifting away for the night, clearing the canvas of the sky so the stars could shine out. She sat there, unseeing, her thoughts numb and a pain in her chest. The front door opened and her father's voice called out. Carter made no response. Her father moved about the living room, his even treads ringing on the wooden floor. A minute later her door squeaked open and he stood in the doorway, his tall figure backlit by the family room light, studying Carter's immobile form.
"Hey, Sarge," he said.
Carter had no response. Her father walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. With his good arm, he pulled her into a hug. Carter went willingly, resting her head on his shoulder, staring blankly at the floor.
"You talked to her, didn't you?" he said.
She nodded. He kissed the top of her head.
"Did it help?" he asked.
She found she couldn't respond, the empty feeling, eating her from inside.
"I'll sign the papers and we will be free of her for good," he said.
Carter nodded. "Yeah. Free."
Carter didn't know how long they sat there before she dozed off. When she woke, the world was dark. She blinked. She lay beneath her covers still dressed in her uniform, though her shoes had been removed.
She turned over to try to find sleep again when she heard a sound that made her heart clench. Tossing aside the blankets, she rose and walked down the hall.
She pushed her father's door open. Instead of seeing her him lying beneath the blankets, she found him sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over. He held his face in his hand, his shoulders shook. A deep sorrow filled her.
She moved over and sat on the bed beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her father wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head. They sat together, Carter leaning into him, his head resting on hers, both finding comfort in the presence of the other. Neither spoke.
**********************************************************************
Coffee Oreo!! (Yes, it's just as amazing as it sounds!)
Well...that was...something...
How are we feeling about Carter right now?
(I know it was kind of harsh and if you don't like her, I get it. Surprised me.)
I actually had to write this chapter three times because the first time wasn't long enough, and the second one you just straight up didn't like Carter.
Feelings about Donovan and Link and their relationship with Carter?
Did how she feel at the end surprise you?
(It totally surprised me. That sounds funny because I wrote it, but Carter dictated how it would go. Wow, yup, I sound like a complete crazy person now)
Analysis of Carter and her relationship with her mother and how she's feeling about it, GO!
Waktu bertanya! (Indonesian) This question is from the daring Dancinaway: How do you come up with your ideas for your amazing stories?
Answer: I don't even know! From anything and everything! My brain is weird and sees stories in everything! Sometimes it comes from things I read. I was reading the Gallagher Girl's series (by Ally Carter) when I got this idea. Rhett from Gone With The Wind inspired a Steampunk book. Wuthering Heights inspired a ghost story. Like I said from anything and everything. If you want to know more read the author's notes in each chapter of my Chapter One(s) book. I go into more detail.
Yeah, sorry that was kind of a blah answer.
For reals I can't even believe it!! Whocaresnerdbrains15 was awesome again and made me two new covers!! Ahhh! I can't get over it! ❤️ IT'S GRANT GUSTIN!!!
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