"Sarge," Carter's father said.

Carter shot him a fierce look.

"I'm serious!" she said, anger, pain and hurt laced in every syllable. She looked back at her mother. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Her mother moved forward, but Carter's icy glare halted her in her tracks. Her mother glanced back at Carter's father. 

"I was in the city and I wanted to-"

"Get out," Carter snarled.

Her mother looked at her with wide eyes. Carter felt something inside her snap. She pointed to the door, her hand shaking.

"Get. The. Hell. Out."

Her father rose, one hand on the table for support.

"Sarge," he said, his voice strong with reproach, "you have no right-"

"I have every right!" she yelled, turning to him.

She could see the burdened look in his eyes. She turned her cold, unyielding stare on to her mother.

"Leave. Now."

Her mother looked back at her father. He nodded. She gathered up her purse and walked to the door. Carter's face was hard as stone and her body rigid as her mother brushed past her. The scent of perfume lingered in the air after the door had closed. A tense silence landed in the apartment.

"Sarge-"

"No!" Carter burst out, switching her glare from the wall to her father. "Why did you ever let her in? How could you possibly be sitting here with her after everything she has done?"

Her father raised a hand, trying to calm her anger.

"Carter," he said, his voice tired. "I know this is confusing-"

"Confusing! That Thing destroyed our family!"

Her father's face hardened, shoulders tightening. The weary look burned from his eyes. Carter knew she had taken a step too far.

"Despite everything, she is your mother," he said, his voice controlled, "and you will not talk about her like that."

Carter met his eyes with cool hatred, not for him but for the third presence that had left behind the smell of citrus.

"No," she said, her voice cutting through the air. "That is where you are wrong. I have no mother. Not anymore."

She stormed off to her room, the vile feel of rage coursing through her. She kicked her door shut and hurled her satchel onto her bed. Everything around her blurred as thoughts battled in her mind. Images of her mother leaving the first time clashing with the image of her mother standing before her moments ago. Conflicting emotions ricocheted through her, suffocating her.

Without thinking, she ripped off her jacket, threw it onto her bed and grabbed her boxing gloves.

She pulled them on, yanking with unnecessary force on the Velcro straps as she tightened them. Endless scenarios of how the interaction could have gone played through her mind as she pummeled the punching bag.

The sound of her fists hitting the taunt leather and the creaking of the bag as it swung on a metal hook was unheard by Carter, her thoughts drowning out the world. She forced breath into her lungs, as a vise closed tighter and tighter around her heart. Her arms began to ache with the frantic speed in which she fought the bag, but she didn't stop. She landed blow after blow to the tight leather, her movements reckless. The bag swung and she pounded away, unaware of the pain in her knuckles.

Tears gathered in her eyes when the strain in her arms and the overwhelming pain in her heart dulled her thoughts. She blinked angrily, causing the pools to spill over and stream down her face.

Her punches become sloppier and slower until she finally stopped, unable to see the bag through her blur of tears. She held onto one of the chains holding up the bag and leaned her head against the cool, black fabric, and cried.

Unlike her anger, her sadness was one of deep pain. No tornado of emotion. Just one deep endless pit of grief that threatened to swallow her whole. She didn't hear her door open. She was barely aware of her father's presence until his strong hand pulled her into a one armed hug. 

She yielded to his comfort and turned towards him, burying her face in his shirt, letting loose all the hurt her body had bottled up.

"Why is she here?" she choked.

Her father stroked her head and kissed the top of her hair.

"It's complicated," he whispered.

They said nothing else, letting their pain hang heavy around them.

***************

The tumult of student voices filled the empty air as Carter opened the car door. Maggie put a hand on her arm, making Carter pause. Carter looked back, her expression dull, her mind and body numb from exhaustion, sadness in her blue eyes. Maggie met Carter's gaze with a look that spoke volumes of her concern and worry.

"Carter," she said, softly.

Carter tensed, not able to face anyone's sympathy or have images of her mother dragged to the forefront of her mind. Maggie released her hand, settling for an understanding smile. Turning away without a word, Carter grabbed her bag and got out of the car.

Summer seemed to have chased spring away during the night. The air was warm and the sun's heat penetrated the chill that was trapped in the breeze. Carter headed towards the stairs feeling oppressed by the cheeriness of the day.

She had barely taken two steps inside the school when a group of four girls converged on her. Some wore looks of condescension, others opted for thinly masked sneers. Carter's tired gaze flicked to each one in turn, none of their thoughts making it past her wall. The girl at the front cocked her head at Carter, one hand on her bony hip.

"It's actually true? You went out with Donovan. Why he-"

The rest of the sentence was cut off as Carter shoved the girl aside and walked past. The girl's cry of indignation fell on deaf ears. Carter moved towards her classroom as if a ghost.

In front of her first period classroom, Maddy was talking with Link, their hands intertwined. Donovan rested against a set of lockers, his gaze roaming over the flow of students. When his eyes landed on Carter, he straightened, surprise and concern flashing through his expression. With an effort, Carter rearranged her features in a mask of mild disinterest.

The bell rang, sending everyone scattering towards all ends of the school.

"I should get to class," Maddy said, her tone soft.

Carter glanced at Donovan and found him studying her with an intense gaze. She turned away, the small part of her that wasn't numb hating him for seeing her weakness.

"Carter," he said, his voice low. "What's wrong?"

Her face remained blank.

"Nothing."

"That's not true," he said. "You can't lie to me."

"It's fine," she said, her voice lifeless.

Donovan opened his mouth to argue, but was stopped by Link.

"Are we going to class or are you two going to stand there staring at each other?"

Carter moved around Donovan and towards the classroom. Link tossed an arm around her shoulders, his buoyed mood blinding him to all others. 

*************

Carter closed her locker door, as students rushed past her towards the cafeteria. When she turned around, Donovan and Link were headed towards her. She could see the same studying look in Donovan's eyes. She sighed inwardly, a heavy, tired feeling washing over her.

"Carter Owens, please report to the office," a scratchy female voice said over the speakers. 

"What did you do?" Link asked.

"Who did you punch?" Donovan asked, his gaze flickering to her knuckles.

Carter met their curious expressions with a shake of her head.

"I didn't do anything or punch anyone," she said.

"Then why are you getting called to the office?" Link asked.

She shrugged and headed in the opposite direction, both guys looking after her.

At the office, she opened the wooden door and stepped into the neat, spacious room. Behind the counter were rows of filing cabinets and a gray haired woman with a pinched face. She looked over her oval glasses at Carter. Beyond the wrinkles of her face, Carter could read nothing.

"I was called in," Carter said, stepping up to the desk.

The woman motioned to the right with her pencil. 

"You have someone here to see you," she said.

Carter went rigid at the sight of her mother, a new wave of exhaustion and emotions crashing over her. Her mother walked forward, wearing high heels, a pencil skirt and a neat oxford shirt, the very picture of a put together woman. 

"Carter," she said, her voice calm. "I thought we could have lunch together and talk."

Hot anger burned away the numbness that had clung to Carter since the night before. Her face hardened as she took a step towards her mother.

"You thought wrong," she said, "It's not the first time. I'm sure you're used to the feeling." 

Guilt flickered in her mother's eyes.

"Leave me and my father alone. It shouldn't be too difficult for you, it's what you're good at."

**********************************************************************

Oh how very vanilla of it all!

What are we thinking?

Carter is overreacting and she should have gone with her mother?

Carter should have slapped her mother? (Kind of harsh and Carter is more likely to punch more than anything)

Carter was totally in the right though we don't know why yet?

Should Donovan have kissed Carter the moment he saw her?

(I think that one is an obvious, HECK TO THE YES!! Wow that sounds really stupid)

Tell me!

Also should I have ice cream?

Yes?

No?

Haha I don't even know why I put that 'no' in there.

Tempo interrogativo! (Italian) Today's question is from the marvelous noraamel: When you start a new story, do you plan the whole thing before you start writing or do you just write and see where it takes you?

Answer: It's a bit of both, but very strongly leaning towards the planned out side. This book is completely planned out, as was ASC. Every Second the first version (which was written in text messages to me sister) was unplanned. The version on here is a rewrite so it was really planned out. Mr. Write I had a general idea of what was going to happen and I knew it ended with the sister's wedding but other than that I had no clue were I was going. And Beyond The Barrier was definitely planned out.

Honestly, I do really well with a loose structure because that means I can play but still know where the story is going! Like Carter's mom showing up. It wasn't part of the plan but I went with it! I think it's important to have both!

Map a story, write and be ready to discover a new twist!

On an awesome note, my girl drew me this awesome picture of me! This is the first time someone has drawn me and I love it! IT'S SO CUTE!!!! (I wish I looked that adorable) I absolutely LOVE drawings!! I honestly wish I could draw! 😫

What do you think?