"First she killed her father, husband and now even her own mother".

"My lord never give anyone a child like her".

"She is cursed".

"She is jinxed".

"We should never allow her to see her mother face".

"She doesn't deserve to be here".

Maybe she should have left before all.

~~~~~~~~

She looks around in her office to the screen where the number is there but her brain is not functioning accordingly.

It has been a day her mother died.

The funeral was done and her sister went back to her home.

"You are here again". Zeeshan said sadly

She shrugs.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Sumaiya?. Why can't you mourn like everyone else and stay in?. You did the same when your husband died. Why?". Zeeshan said frustrated

She didn't speak.

She wants to share her pain, suffering and everything with someone too. But, was there anyone?.

"I will take her back". She heard Aziz voice

She turns around looking at him confuse because she remembers that he was not home this morning. Before she can deny he holds her hand pulling her to walk with him.

She remains quiet in her thoughts not minding his hold on her. Because this little hold is comforting her in some way, the warmth coming from his hand to hers is warming.

He drives the car after they take their seats silently. He was busy in some meetings that he didn't want to go in but had to. But, he returned immediately after he was done only to find an empty house.

Zeeshan informed him that she was here and he heard their exchange but he understood why she was doing what she was doing.

He walks inside the house still holding her hand making her sit on the couch leaving to bring her a glass of water when he returns he saw her holding her head in her hands with tears silently rolling down her face.

"I-I am sorry- I-". She stutters

He bends down on his knees in front of her holding her to himself not saying a word. She pauses for a moment not accepting the comfort she is not used to and instead of trying to fight against it until the pain of years comes crashing down on her bursting into tears.

Her father death, her marriage, her husband and her mother.

Everything was a pain that she had hidden in her.

He brushes her hair away softly, "Why?".

She pulls back looking in his concern fill eyes taking a deep breath to collect her emotion as much as she can, "B-Because when my baba died I was mourning his death but all I heard is people words 'He left two daughters behind', 'Who will feed them now', 'Who will take their responsibility?', 'He should have a son to take after him' and so many more in front of my baba body. I was mourning so was mama and Emaan but their words didn't stop for a day. Then when my husband died if I stayed in his house to mourn then I had to listen to their words again. I realised it was no use that no one will allow you to mourn peacefully. So, I choose to go back to my life just pressing the memories of the one who are gone down in me".

He didn't speak a word after her words because there was no sane explanation or words that can find her peace at this moment. He had heard words too but the words he heard were still better than the words she had heard.

Maybe, people need to start talking less and looking more.

*******

"I heard you have marries again". She heard her colleague- Zoya say

She sighs.

"Yes". She replies

It's been a week since that day she confessed to him and he had been caring ever since.

She cries sometimes and he always comes sitting by her side hugging her silently allowing her to weep as much as she likes.

She can feel his warmth always surrounding her even when he is not there himself.

"But, how can a single man marry you?. No offence, I am just curious. You went to that company for like a month and you are already married to the boss. Is there some way I can do it too?". Zoya said

"If you even think about marrying my husband you will not stay on earth anymore. I will kick you hard enough to send you to Mars". Sara said angrily looking at Zoya

Zoya looks at Sara shock but quickly move back to her table doing her work.

"It's your break. How about some coffee?". Sara asks Sumaiya

She nods.

She walks down to the cafe next door taking a seat after they were done the ordering.

"How is everything?". Sara asked smiling

"It's all the same". She replied

"Still, you are married now. Is it going well?". Sara asked

She shrugged, "I mean we were two strangers thrown together and most of the time I feel bad that I was forced on him for no reason".

Sara frowned, "Did he say that?".

"No, but-". She started

"You shouldn't think that. He is not a person who can be forced into doing anything. I know him because that is what Zeeshan always say about him. And you being married was written by the lord you cannot undo it. So, why not make it work?". Sara suggested

"I don't know. Everyone around me is now saying 'you have a husband now you should forget about your first husband'". She said sadly

"You need to figure out what you want instead of you what people want from you, Sumaiya. It's high time now. You don't have anyone to look after and you have absolutely no need for sacrifices". Sara said

*******

She enters inside the house closing the door and leaning on it. After Sara's meeting, she has encountered some more of the same people who want her to forget her first husband.

"Why?". She whispers to herself

"Why, what?". He asked causing her to shriek moving back and hitting her head on the door

She winces from the pain looking at him and his eyes filling with concern as he takes the step towards her moving her hand that was massaging her place of pain and places his own.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Come on, I will see it in the lounge". He said grabbing her hand and pulling her to the couch

He looked at her head, "Does it hurt?".

"A little". She said softly

He frowns, "What were you saying before?".

She looked at him for the longest time and deciding to take a leap at her faith she spoke, "Everyone around me is forcing me to stop thinking and wipe away the memories of my first husband because I am married again".

He holds her hand in his, "You don't have to do anything they want you to do. What do you want to say about this?".

She sighs, "Honestly?". She asked and he nodded, "I loved him. He was my support system when my family randomly threw me into marriage right after my father died. I wasn't over my father's death, I was still studying and I was still not able to do much on my own. He was the one who placed my studies first and supports me to finish them. He was the one who allows me to mourn my father's death. He was always there then one day he wasn't anymore. I don't want to let him go like that even if it's just a memory I want to keep him there, at least".

****

"Why are we here?". She asked looking around the cemetery, "I have never been here because people always say it's not the place for a woman".

"People says a lot of things that we don't need to pay heed to". He said holding her hand tighter as he stops in front of one particular grave

"Alif". She whispers looking at his grave then back at Aziz, "Why are we here?".

He smiled looking at her and then back at Alif's grave, "I am here to talk to him one on one. I want you (Sumaiya) to listen to this carefully. I didn't marry you to force you into things you don't like. The actual reason was to pull you away from everything that was going around you and give you the freedom to be the actual you. I don't ever want you to forget about your first husband and I want you to always cherish his memories whenever you want. You don't have to be guilty to think about him. He was the one who found you when you were vulnerable and builds you into a woman you are today. I will never allow you or force you to forget a man like him in this life, not when I am here. But, I will take his permission to temporarily take his place in this world with you. I will take each of his responsibilities towards you and fulfil them all by my heart".

She looked at him with tears falling down her face and then she realised something. She wasn't looking at the man who was handsome, comforting, warm, helpful she was looking at her husband.

******

"How can you not divide and give me his share?. Now that you have married again you are going to forget about your son?. How can you forget about killing my sister?". Hanan screamed angrily

She looked at the woman and to the same child, she had seen in the office that day. She can now fit in the puzzle as to why his eyes were so familiar. She looked at his frightened self standing there alone unknown to the talk he was hearing. She couldn't even imagine to be this young and hear such words.

"Beta (son), why don't you go outside in the garden?". She suggested smiling softly

"Who do you think you are to talk to him?. You have to take my permission before you speak to him". Hanan said

She looked at the woman frowning but waited until Khaled was out in the garden.

"I will ask you when you start behaving like his guardian". She replied calmly

"How dare you speak to me like that?. Do you have any idea who I am?". Hanan said

She holds her husband hand looking at her, "Clearly, you shouted that loud enough for everyone in this neighbourhood to hear. But, you are forgetting that you are standing in our house and under our roof. You need to start learning to talk to other people when you are merely an uninvited guest".

"Say whatever you want. I am here for the money of that child before you eat it all". Hanan said

"I am not going to pay anything". Aziz said firm

"Then you will never meet him again". Hanan said walking away dragging Khaled

Khaled turned his head back looking directly into her eyes and she can feel the pain and questions reflecting in his eyes that left her heart clench.

******

She holds the glass of tea walking towards his study opening the door she walks inside looking for him until she sees his figure on the floor leaning with the table.

She walks around the table sitting beside him silently placing the tea in front of him.

"I killed her". He said as his voice cracks

She didn't speak.

"I actually killed her". He repeated

This time she holds his hand sitting in front of him to look at the grief that filled his face.

"It was one of those nights where she was demanding to eat something and I refused because the weather was not good. It all resulted in a fight soon because of something her sister say to her about me and I was doing the exact same thing. I wasn't even sure how it turned that way but then she was leaving the house and I tried stopping her but she didn't". He said placing his hands on his face, "Then, I received a call from the hospital. I rushed outside even though the weather was turning worse I knew she and our baby needed me. I reached the hospital only to find that she was no more and our baby survived".

She pulled him into a hug as he silently weeps into her shoulder. She patted his back allowing him to cry his sorrow.

*****

She sits outside on the bench looking at the sky turning black in a matter of few minutes. She often wonders how is that when someone holds the power to change something so big won't change her life.

He walks outside looking at her immense in her thoughts. He sits beside her looking at where she is looking.

"You need to bring him back home". She whispers

"Who?". He asked confused

"Khaled. He is waiting for you to bring him back". She replied

"But-". He started

"Have you ever seen his eyes searching for answers?. Even when you can't undo the past you or she never imagine him to live a life like this". She said, "I understand how you feel and I know the pain too well".

"What do you mean?". He asked

"The moment Alif died I was five months into my pregnancy. But, it was just another day when I came back from work and my daadi (grandmother) and phopo (aunt) were screaming at my mother and I. All these words and things that were little too much for me to handle and I passed out. The next moment I was awake my child went to his father". She said crying, "It was so hard, everything was falling on me. My external family blamed me for not taking care of the child and that it was because I was unlucky that I kill everyone".

He wraps his arms around her pulling her to himself, "You are nothing that they said".

She chuckles, "I didn't tell you all this to be comforted. I told you because I want Khaled to live a happy life with you".

"With us, Sumaiya. With you and I". He replied

******

He looks at her walking around looking at the things in the house. She had been here for a good amount of time still she would always look at things like it's the first time.

He looks at her white clothes she wears today.

"Why do you wear only few colours?". He asked

She turned around looking at him then back at her clothes as a embarrass smile appears at her lips, "Because I don't have many in colour".

He smiled walking up to her, "You know what that means?". She shakes her head, "It's time to take my wife shopping".

She walks inside the mall with her hand in his looking around to the different shops. It's been so long she actually went out to a mall for herself and to be honest even when she never liked spending money on things she sometimes loves to come to a place for herself.

"Let's go in that one". He said pulling her with him

"How would you know which colour will look good on me?". She asked

He grinned, "Because I imagined you in every colour possible".

She didn't reply to his words.

They shopped around for things that they wanted. Mostly, he shopped for her and she enjoyed him being so determined to buy her everything.

"How can you walk around holding hands like that in public?. Don't you have some manners or after your mother death you throw them all away?". She heard her phopho speak

She turned around looking at her as she glared at her.

"I-". She started when someone holds her hand

"Sorry, it took time to pay for our things". He said smiling and then turn to the woman who he had heard say words to his wife, "What is it?".

"There are young people who are not married walking around here like my daughter what will they learn from these open displays?". Her phopho asked

"Probably that if lord allowed for couple to hold hands in public they can and that it is ok to love your partner even when you are in public. That a husband has no need to act in a certain way as he had never made woman her wife in front of their lord and thousands of people instead he can show affection as much as he wants". He said calmly, "Lastly, I don't want my wife ever meeting any of her family members beside her sister and I will not tolerate any of you ever trying to meet or talk down on her".

*****

"Are you ok?". He asked hugging her

"No, but I will be in some time". She replied, "I don't understand why people always think they have power over our lives in every phase we live in. Most of my life I have done everything they wanted me to do and followed lord decisions while he took the people I love from me. Even when I was the one most damaged they blamed me and every single day they remind me of my misfortune. Why can't they let me live?".

He didn't speak a word because there was no logical answer to her questions. Why people do things we tend to say that they might be jealous or hate us but that is not enough logic for people to give to their suffering.

Some spend their whole lives in a relationship that is destroyed by the people around them with no love, care and extreme suffering.

People need to learn that their words are enough to ruin anyone lives. And they will certainly have to answer about that life someday.

******

"He is here". He said nervously

She looks at him, "Khaled is here?. How?".

"She never legally took him with her so I just showed her the video of her blackmailing me for money and brought him back. But, what do I do now?". He explained

"He is your son and he is just a child. Why are you so worried?". She asked

"Because I never truly talk to him and now he is here with no knowledge. I am scared of what she might have fed him about me. What if he hates me?". He said sadly

She placed her hand on his shoulder shaking her head, "The more I look in Khaled's eyes the more I see he is searching for answers".

He nodded.

She walks outside with a glass of juice looking at the curious boy looking around.

"Khaled". She said softly

She sees his eyes widen looking at her and at once he jumps towards her hugging her.

"Aunt. You here?". He asked happily

She chuckles placing the tray on the side hugging him back, "I live here too".

"Really?". He asked smiling

She nodded making him sit on the couch.

"Your father wants to speak to you before I tell you about me". She said softly

Khaled nodded.

*****

"I-I don't know what to tell you". He said honestly

Khaled walks near him sitting in his lap wrapping his arms around him.

"I know you didn't do anything to mommy. I know you are a good man, baba (father). I have been waiting for you". Khaled said

"What do you mean?". He asked

"I don't know but sometimes aunt used to drink something and then speak things. She said she always used to come home after you left for work and tell mom things that were not true until she believed them. She said she was the one who suggested her to drive to her home and she died because of her". Khaled explained remembering her words

He hugged him tighter," She said that?".

Khaled nodded.

He broke down into tears because for years he had blamed himself and never look at his son because he blamed himself. He was finally free a little.

****

Some guilt never leaves a person.

She understands that long ago when she had her own guilt. We can only help the person to cope with them better but not take them away.

In the same way, even when he wasn't wrong no one can take his guilt away for allowing his wife to be alone in such conditions.

She allowed him to mourn whenever he wanted like she would mourn her husband at a time.