Sometimes I think, "I miss being an addict," but did it ever stop? The thoughts are still there, the ache, the constant "just one more time." When will one more time be enough? when will one last high, one last cut, one last pill be enough? When does it stop? When do I forgive myself? I miss the self destruction with every breath I take, nicotine isn't enough, I need to go back to my old ways.