we were walking down to natalia's house, discussing how we were gonna keep our relationship a secret from everyone around us, and just everyone in general.

'it cant be that hard.' i said, 'i mean, if there's a will there's a way, right?'

mattia furrowed his brows.

'this shit is so fucking dumb.' he vented, 'i should be allowed to feel however the fuck i want to feel, the fact that the government wants to control our emotions is fucking ridiculous.'

i nodded in agreement.

'i shouldnt have to be standing a foot away from you right now.' he said, clearly angry.

mattia suddenly looked around, seeing that the street was empty.

'fuck it.' he said.

he took my hand and intertwined our fingers.

i was slightly taken aback, but eventually eased into it.

we spent the rest of the walk to nat's in a comfortable silence, a content smile or an adoring glance exchanged every so often.

when we got there, we quickly peeled away from each other.

'where the fuck have you guys been?' said natalia, 'you said you'd be here at 5.30, it's literally 8pm.'

'fuck i'm sorry nat, we lost track of time.' i said.

'yeah we're sorry.' said mattia.

'jesus christ, you guys are so fucking weird together.' she muttered, 'are we hungry?'

her words reminded me how hungry i was.

'fuck yes' mattia and i said in sync.

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dinner was lasagna, and it was amazing, obviously.

mattia and i played footsie under the table throughout most of it, which just made it better.

after hours of talking, netflix and xbox, we decided to head to bed.

natalia told mattia that he could take the guest room.

'night bro.' she said.

'night.' he replied, 'goodnight y/n.' he smirked.

'goodnight mattia.' i giggled.

at around 3am, i felt a rapid tapping on my shoulder. i assumed it was natalia but i looked up to see mattia.

'what is it?' i squinted.

'come out for a second.' he whispered, putting a finger to his lip and nodding towards nat who was asleep besides me.

'fine.'

we left the room and shut the door behind us as quietly as possible.

'why did you wake me up mattia?'

'y/n, i cant stop thinking about you.'

i blushed, not being able to contain my smile.

'come lay with me for a minute.' he said

'mattia-'

'just for a sec.' he pleaded.

'ugh only because it's you.' i said after a couple of seconds.

it was a risk but i couldn't say i didn't want to go.

especially because it was him.