"Passport, education documents, tickets, phone, purse, money, cards" Mini and my mother were fussing over my luggage and my father was giving me 'Surviving in London 101 for Dummies' lecture. Sasha and Ash just left after Sasha cried a lot and Ash barely spoke three words. Ryan was here all morning and Mini kicked him out when his 'hiding Riya's tickets' was not funny anymore. He walked out sulking. He will be coming to London in two months, so I will see him very soon.

I have not seen Nick since our dinner last night. The two of us had dinner with my family and it was the most awkward two hours of my life. Dad was constantly asking Nick questions and Mom was fawning over him. I wanted to dig a grave and bury myself in it when dad asked Nick if they could talk in private. After their thirty minutes 'chat' Nick left home and messaged me good night once he reached his apartment. We have not discussed about it today because I had not seen him all morning and now it was almost time for me to leave. True that I'd asked everyone to stay back and no one was allowed to come to the airport with me because the female population in my life was crying constantly and the male population was too intent on giving me survival tips, but he did not even say me a goodbye.

It started with Nick, three weeks ago, fretting over the size of my luggage. He was worried about me carrying and handling it. From there he when on and on about how I would live in Cape Town and the availability of food I like. He had asked one of his friends to pick me up once I reached London and ordered him to help me buy anything and everything I needed. I have not even stepped in the country and I have my own overqualified chauffeur.

My father was another story altogether. In the three months I spent at home we sat down one day, and I told him how I felt after he left mom and I for work. He did not exactly vocalize his thoughts but from the following day his behavior changed. Mom cried a lot for a week and she blamed herself for turning me into the cynical monster I have become. I agreed with the demon part, but I could not let her take the credit. I threatened to not set foot in the house again if she continued her crying and that made her stop.

Even with my father going off about what to do when a mugging situation arises, I could hear Mini and my mother sniffing into their tissues. It was not like I was not going to miss them, or I did not have a heart, it was just difficult for me to cry when someone was watching and them crying did not help my tear ducts.

"Even if I don't say this often, I love you and will miss you when you leave. Take good care of my daughter, she tends to downplay her pain sometimes." My father said and walked me towards the car that was waiting for me outside.

I was holding my carry-on bag and the check-in luggage was sitting in the truck of the car.

My mother started weeping hysterically "Eat on time, call me whenever you can and visit a doctor the minute you sneeze. Father and I will visit you as soon as we can."

My father stood behind my mother and with his arm around her.

"Take care and stay safe. Mind your business, do not get into unnecessary issues with anyone. Stay at home when you are not in University. Don't study too much. Sleep on time and eat well."

"Mom, that's the six billionth time you are talking about eating on time. I will. Please don't cry. I will be fine. I will be back in no time."

Reluctantly she let go of me and was sobbing in my father's embrace. It broke my heart watching her weep, but I needed to leave. There were a lot of things I needed to accomplish.

At least that was what I have been chanting in my head for few days now.

Mini pulled me into a tight hug and just walked back into the house wiping her eyes.

I immediately got into the car and my father closed the car door for me.

I could see them wave at me in the side mirror and it took everything in me to not cry.

"It is ok to miss them," I jumped and yelped when I heard his voice just when I felt his hand squeezing my hand.

Nick was driving me to the airport after I explicitly asked him not to come. I did not know if I should be happy that he was here or angry that he was here despite my warning.

"Buckle up, you not always going to get what you want in life."

I didn't want him here because I didn't want to think about what would happen to us if I left. I had an established relationship with everyone else in my life except Nick. I did not want to lose him, and I did not have the courage to accept my feeling. The last thing I needed was to think of myself was a terrible person.

He started talking about a friend who went to LSE and that I could contact her if I needed any help. Then he told me some stories about the girl. I won't lie I was a bit jealous.

Silence took over after his story and I couldn't bring myself to start a conversation.

"What are you most worried about? Talk to me, we don't have to make the drive awkward." He cajoled me, like always, into telling him what exactly is on my mind.

"I am scared of missing out on things, about not being there, about not experiencing things. I am worried about my parents, about my friends, about you. I am scared that someone would need me, and I wouldn't be there to support. I just... I don't know, I am just worried."

"What about what will happen to you? Does the uncertainty scare you?"

"Not really. I am not going to worry about something I have control over. My future depends on the choices I make and at the end I will not regret it irrespective of the outcome. I'd be happy that I at least tried."

He smiled at me and the smile lasted longer than usual. He then went on to tell me all the things I to do the minute I got off the plane,

"You need to eat and sleep the minute you land in London. Eat as much as you can and then just sleep. Sleep till your classes start and then after the classes sleep some more. Message or call me the minute you think something is wrong. Worried about something- call me, don't keep it to yourself and rot that smart brain of yours. You don't feel like it, hop on the next flight and come home. You can stay for some time and go back."

"Ok grandma, I will eat and sleep"

"I am serious Riya. You have the habit of hiding things and it's not healthy." I avoided his gaze and looked around me trying to get past the watermelon sized lump that was forming in my throat.

Unfortunately, we reached the airport too soon and he was looking for parking. I did not have enough time to get my emotions under control or to concentrate on something else to get past the feeling I was drowning in right now.

"Are you upset that I drove you to the airport?" he asked after parking his car not making a move to get out.

I shook my head and bit my lips because I was feeling too many things at the same time.

"Hey, look at me," he caught hold of my hand and started drawing soothing circles with his thumb.

"I knew you'd come. But, I just imagined you secretly following my car to the airport, not driving me here," I looked at him and let out a small laugh.

He looked very confused "Now why would I do something like that?"

"Really? You think you are subtle when you follow me home after I very specifically tell you that I don't need you to give me a ride back home? I have seen your car follow the cabs I take after I have turned down your proposal of dropping me home in the past. Why are you even surprised I noticed? You are as subtle as a pink hippopotamus."

"I just wanted to make sure you reached home safely," he grumbled, "but being the blockhead that you are, you never let me drop you home. How was I to drive home sanely when I was worried about your safety?"

"So you followed me? I have lived 22 years without you shadowing me Nick, I can take care of myself."

"And whose fault is that? Why did you not meet me earlier? You could have chosen different parents before you were born and should have been born in my neighborhood. We would have met long ago and by now everything would have been great," he explained.

I burst out laughing after hearing to his accusations and he looked at me with a very serious expression.

"After the first few times you turned down my offer to drop you home, I understood that it was important for you to be independent in little things too. My worry was my concern, so I found a way to not worry and not push you away. Anyway, if you have known it for so long why have you never complained about it?"

Now that was a question I did not want to answer to.

"We need to go." I said and stepped out of the car and walked towards the car trunk.

He was looking around for a trolley and I picked up my bags from the trunk. He quickly pulled the bags on to the trolley he wheeled towards me and held on tomy cabin bag.

"Give me that, I'll hold it." I said trying to pull the small backpack from his grip but he was not letting me push the trolley or hold my bag and I was starting to get irritated.

"Shut up and walk. These bags are so heavy, how will you manage with them in the transit? Should have booked your tickets with that stupid classmate about yours. He'd have at least carried your bags in the airport." He was referring to this guy who was from my hometown and was also going to LSE. We met once last month, and Nick was not particularly excited about my acquittance with him. He had not said one bad thing about the poor guy, until today, but I could sense some distaste when he always spoke about my meeting.

"Why would I book my tickets just so I could have someone to carry my baggage? I am not vain." I smacked him on his left arm hoping the hit would drive some sense into him.

One could only hope.

We reached the entrance of the airport and he came to a standstill few feet away from the entry.

"You will be fine, won't you?" his hands were gripping the handle of the trolley and he turned to look at me with a very concerned look.

"I will."

"You promise to call me whenever you are free"

"I will"

"Tell me you won't hide any pain from me?"

I just nodded my head.

"We are going to fight a lot. You know, that right?"

I nodded again.

"I heard these long distances are a b*tch. I am beginning to understand why," he said. He quickly kissed my forehead and swiftly turned to walk away from me.

I have no idea what came over me, I was either possessed by a ninja or I knew him enough to know he would walk way because I immediately held him by his shirt and stopped him from stepping away. I pulled him closer to me and hugged the life out of him.

I had no control over the tears that just kept running from my eyes or the lump in my throat that was now about the size of a planet.

"Don't cry, please," he said wrapping his arms around me. "I cannot let you go if you cry."

Then don't. Ask me to stay and I will. I will give up on everything and anything and stay with you if you ask me to. Say the word and I will stay.

It was as if he heard me, "But I can't do that. You have your life waiting for you. A life that you have always dreamt of. I will support you just the way you have supported me, even if it means staying away from you for two years."

I was hiccupping and bawling my eyes out.

"But what about us?" I had to ask it, I was too scared to ask the question even to myself, but I could ask him. I trusted him.

"What about us? We are going to be fine, I will come visit you the minute I miss you too much and you do the same. When we are away we can constantly talk. In the worst case we will fight a lot, I do not know for what, but even if we do, I will still be waiting for you here when you come back."

"How can you say that? What if you wake up one day and decide you cannot put up with me anymore? Or you are bored of me? Or if I am not good enough for you?" My worst fears were just announced, and I never felt more vulnerable.

"That will never happen. Are you crazy? And I am jumping into this with the exact same fears. This is a two-way stream Riya and I am worried sh*tless that you will no longer want me the minute you step out of the country. But sometimes you just need to take the plunge and hope you will have a cushion waiting for you at the end of your fall. I believe in you, you are going to do great things in life and for now the only thing I can do is be proud of who you are and how happy I am for you."

I feel like a complete idiot now. I should have spent more time with him, told him how I felt, said things to him that mattered.

"I am sure I have not said this enough, but I am proud of you."

"You should be. And also, lucky, where else will you find such handsome man with a kind heart?" that made me step away from him and I savored this moment. I was intent on remembering everything about him, from the way he dressed to the way he was looking at me right now.

"Don't look at me that way, I might hop on the flight along with you just so I could continue looking at you look at me." He is very cheesy.

"You don't have your passport or visa," he could always count on me to throw him back to reality.

"Touche. I need to work around this. Maybe the minute I get my Visa I will have to and fro tickets booked for the next two years."

"You are not going to waste money that way. We need to do a lot of cost cutting and draw lines when it comes to money spending and grand gestures." Once the words escaped my mouth I was scared he would be offended thinking I was criticizing his financial situation.

"Who said I'd pay for the tickets? I will make your father pay for them. It is the least he can do for putting up with you. Yesterday during dinner, he was more than relieved that I was now going to share the pain of bearing you."

And that was the moment I realized that I could imagine a future with him and for the first time I was not scared because I knew he was going to be there for me.

"You have to go."

I know but I don't want to.

~*~*~*~*~

Drum roll please.

I am sorry for all the late updates and going MIA in the last few weeks. I was busy making some life altering decisions.

Now that I found some time I decided to complete the book.

Please let me know what you guys think.

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