Words: 1968

The laughter filled the great hall with much joy. The group was back in Kattegat for two weeks now, Sigurd fighted his fever for two days before he was ready to travel again. You needed those two weeks off, the raidingparty did to. You rested and went in to the woods and fields to fill you stockage of herbs and other usefull things. You were prepared for a lot, you knew the people relied on your skills as a healer. Without you a lot of those vikings would have died already. And that was you life purpose, looking around in the great hall and seeing the people you helped and saved. Sigurd stood besiced his mother, whispering something to her. He looked good, all healed up but he never thanked you for it. Not that she wanted that, the thank came from another angle, an angle you more needed than everything Sigurd possible could say to thank you. Ubbe walked in with his youngest brother. You stepped aside a litlet when the mental pinched the floor while Ivar pulled himself forward. He past you with that little smug grin on his face and you shivered without him seeing it. Ubbe gazed over to you, giving you a short smile that maked you stomach tighten again. When all the brothers where assembled around their mother the queen started talking.

'People of Kattegat, your sons and men will go raiding again.' She announched. Everybody cheered to that, you felt some ale soak in your dress from your drunk neighbor trowing with his cup in the air. 'Not just a raid,' Aslaug went further, holding her hand up to demand the silence of her people. Your eyes went back to her, curious to what she was saying. 'I got reports of a Earl that wants to attack us because they seek justice for us killing his son. Before they come here picking a fight we go to them. I forsaw dead but I also saw victory. We will loose people but the gods are ready to welcome us to Valhalla. I will make the gods a sarcifies.' And those words were enough. How hard battle would be, those men around you where ready to fight and die for their gods. So did you, knowing this one would be different, you felt ready.

'You are not coming.' You turned around to Ubbe who stood in the doorway of your farm. It was your mothers but when she died last year she left it for you. She wouldn't want you to go either, your mother always feared for your life. Being a simple farmer you didn't really saw something else in the world than the crops, fields, markets. His words reminded you of her.

'Why not?' You asked confused.

'It is better for you to stay here.' He nodded, almost practical. You looked back to the ointment you where making before he walked in. You didn't understand, he had never stopped you before from coming and now all of the sudden you weren't welcome?

'Ubbe, I'm always going on the raids. Why don't you want me to come?' The uncertainty of his demand maked you doubt your own feelings. You were the youngest healer, but already one of the better. You were certain of it they needed you but he, as leader of this raiding party, he had a say in it.

'Y/n, can't you just listen.' He said a little impatient. You opened your mouth but words came short. It hurted a little, the way he treatred you right now. Like he didn't wanted you to come because ... he needed to look out for you? Was that it?

'If it is because you think it will be dangerous, I can protect myself.' Like you wanted to strengthened your words you took the knife you had from the table. It was like he struggled over something before he walked further the farm in. He took the knife out of you hand but you didn't really looked at that, you looked up in his eyes. 'If it is because I'm always uncertain or you think I'm a liability to the group. I promise to obay.' You said softer, studing those gorgeous face expressions of him. He laid the knife away and looked down to you.

'You stay here.'

'You don't have a say in that.' You protested. You never raised your voice, not even now. You were way to gentle and calm for that. So you looked down to your hands folded between your body.

'Y/n,' he laid his hand against your cheek, forcing you in a gentle way to look up to him again. You didn't protest, you just let his hand guide your eyes back up. And when you looked back to him you saw a bit of tenderness in his eyes.

'it's alright, I understand.'

'You do?' He asked on his turn confused.

'I'm the weak one, I would get myself in trouble in a fight like this so it's better to stay here. Where nobody need to keep an eye on me.' You explained. His eyes went in conflict for a moment but finally he nodded and his hand fell from your face.

'Thank you.' He smiled. But you saw how forced it was. He struggled with something, like he was going to say something else but didn't. Even his posture and passes where a little in conflict and you wanted to ran after him, because you wanted to know. But on the other hand ... you were a liability, so you did nothing. Torn between two very different things you just stood there, alone.

'Still coming.' You said for yourself, looking to him walking away. How could he think like this? That you were some kind of a weak person when you felt so much more. He tempered your feelings, the longing ripping you apart inside every time you saw him settled under a starting feeling of sadness.

Ubbe was angry with you, he didn't say a word and kept in front of the large group while you walked behind. But if Sigurd could come, so did you. It was a long travel in wich he never said anything and you slowly started to puch that kind of feelings away. Everybody was just so focussed on what was going to happen that you did to. You checked your basket more than once to check if you really had everything and even then ... if you saw something on the road that could help you picked it out. By the time Ubbe decided to set camp you didn't felt your feet anymore. You saw Ubbe glaring over at you, rather fast before he looked away again. 'You irritate my brother.' You startled and turned around to Sigurd.

'I'm sorry for that, I just come to treat the wonded.'

'It may be your last one.' He smiled. You never liked that boy, how he stood there against the tree playing with a knife, that arrogant smug grinn on his face. You thought Ivar was bad, he wasn't really better. But his words captured your attention.

'Why is that?' You asked him confused. Sigurd looked away from the others back to you, that one eye strangling your feelings like the snake it represented.

'You thing those little raids you are coming on were something big? This is different, no place for a girl like you. You are a weak little,'

'Sigurd.' Ubbe snapped him right out his filty comment. You could guess what would follow but you where glad Ubbe saved you from the words rolling down over Sigurd his tongue. Sigurd gave you a short look before walking away. Ubbe looked at you, asking if you were alright with just his eyes and you only nodded before you started to help with gattering the wood for a fire.

It was the scream of a slavegirl that pulled you right out of your dreams. 'We are under attack!' Somebody yelled. The drunk state you where in from just waking up didn't helped you in the cause of getting up. Your eyes went searching for the danger but already so much vikings where up that you really couldn't see a thing. But it was the familiar sound of axes against swords, the screams of battle that told you everything and got you up, gathering you things to get away .... Only to see the whole raiding group was surrounded. You got pushed away, fell on the ground again while a little further one of the vikings fell down on the ground, stabbed in his stomach. You grabbed your things and ran over to him, as fast and swift as you could you pulled the knife out, covering his wounds before you saw something approaching in your eye corner. You grabbed the mans sword in fear, turned around just as that enemy wanted to trow himself on you. That sword went right through, causing him to drop down half on you body, crushing you under his dead weight. You didn't just killed a man, you were supposed to save lives. The fear of the moment gave you enough strenght to get him off of you. You hurried up, looking to the blood on your hands and the sword. You threw it away, starting to look around to all kinds of dead, your deads and their deads. This was a massacre, something you never saw before. There was so much strenght hidden in both groups you weren't even sure if one of them would survive. The panick caused you to look for Ubbe. A horse ran by, almost throwing you to the ground again. You began to move, trying not to get stabbed or noticed while the one after the other dropped down. Where was he? You turned around, always looking and looking until you found him in a struggle with a man, and what kind of man. He was big, musculed in ways you couldn't imagine and he worked Ubbe right to the ground. That moment, seeing the struggle in Ubbe his body, overcame your fear and panick. You grabbed an axe from the ground and started running through the others. If nobody would kill you on the way over to Ubbe you could maybe safe him. That man raised his right hand where he was holding his axe, ready to kill the son of Ragnar Lothbrok on this quest. This couldn't be Ubbe his end, he was fated to do much greater things. So you took the axe in both hands, lifted it up over your head before you smached it down with all the force you had, right into his back. But his reaction came right after, turning around, slitting over your stomach with the sword he holded in his left hand before he dropped dead.

'Y/n.' Ubbe reacted, catching you before you could even drop down to the ground. You started gasping for air, trying to press down the horizontal wound you had just below your ribs. 'What are you doing!' He shouted angry, furious almost while he pulled your head in his lap. He said on his knees, holding your head with one hand while pressing on the wound with another. You looked up to him, to the fear, the anger, the mixed feelings in his eyes. But it was like you felt every bit of life slowly fading away from your body, following the blood out. You lifted your hand but it didn't got further than his chest, where blood smeared his way down while you hand lost his sence of living. 'Don't you dare, don't go.' He hissed, wrapping both his hand around you head in a embrace. The last thing you felt was his forehead against yours before the darkness swallowed you whole.