Darkest hero

Chapter 16: breakfast and a head.

The main common area of the dorms was rather simplistic in design, a few tables for eating at, a small kitchenette, three couches and a simple television on a cabinet. The only two windows in the room overlooked the main campus which at the time was empty asides Cementos who was fixing up the exam grounds from the entrance exams yesterday. It was with a tired yawn that Izuku finally stumbled down the stairs and into this area in a pair of shorts that barely passed his knees and a plain white shirt that simply read Camisa de taco with a picture of a cartoon taco on it, it had been a gift from Vaggie after the green haired demon had managed to keep Baxter from exploding her room while she and Charlie were trying to get back on TV after the last fiasco with killjoy. Ibara had stumbled down as well, still dressed in the clothes she wore yesterday while Charlie was once more wearing her a white button up shirt, black formal pants and suspenders accented by a black bowtie.

Vaggie meanwhile was busy sorting out all the food she had managed to find around the kitchen. Two coffees, a hot chocolate, a juice and a glass of water and a few slices of bread for Ibara. Sadly, the only meat in the freezer and fridges was in the form of precooked pies and a half-eaten stew labelled "Aizawa's TOUCH AND YOU'RE EXPELLED"

"Here's what we have got." Vaggie stated as she grabbed her own coffee and sitting down at the table next to Charlie and Izuku and across from Ibara. With a content sigh the moth demon downed the entire mug of coffee in one go before grabbing the second one.

"Is that much caffeine truly needed?" Ibara asked curiously as she sipped at her water, her vines draped over the back of the chair seemed to enjoy soaking up the sunlight from the window behind her.

"Trust me, I had trouble getting to sleep last night without the constant background noise of hell outside the window, it was weird as fuck." Vaggie shrugged.

"Language." Izuku and Ibara chided the moth demon.

"So, I know my parents would probably be paying for me, but what about you three?" Ibara asked making Izuku and Vaggie freeze in shock.

"I'm pretty sure the bank has confiscated my account after I died." Izuku seemed to pail even more if such a thing was possible given his naturally pail complexion.

"Don't worry, I had it sorted." Charlie smiled as she pulled the two in for a hug. "I had it paid for in full the other day."

"Japan accepts souls?" Izuku asked in confusion, contrary to belief, Hell didn't deal with mortal souls rather the currency was called souls and a misunderstanding on the part of humans lead to them calling the human spirit a soul, needless to say it had resulted in several awkward moments and even a war in the past.

"Of course not, I exchanged it at a bank, they all have ties in Hell since dad seemed to like helping them with the start-up funds." Charlie shrugged it off with a smile before letting go of Izuku to take a sip of her hot chocolate before pulling the green haired coenobite back into the hug.

"I always knew the banks were run by sinners." Ibara deadpanned with a sigh. "Great, now I'm a hypocrite. Izu-sama do you still love me even if I'm a hypocrite sinner?"

"Can we focus on fixing whatever Alister did to her first?" Vaggie asked with a sigh before downing her second coffee in one go, same as the first.

"Well, inside of every demon is a rainbo-!" Charlie was quickly silenced by a kiss from Vaggie. The blonde blushed then grinned lazily with a content sigh. "hehe wow."

"Is... this normal?" Ibara asked as she watched the scene before her with a thoughtful look, her vines raising up behind her like a snake rising from a basket.

"Yeah pretty much." Izuku admitted bashfully, both demons had used impromptu make out sessions to stop one thing or another, mostly Charlie's singing or Vaggie trying to hurt and or kill Angel Dust or Alister.

"I see." Ibara hummed to herself before her vines wrapped around Izuku and she pulled him in for a kiss causing his skull to combust into a raging inferno of green fire. Despite the heat and slight burns Ibara kept her lips pressed against his lips but then his teeth as they burnt away. she hummed contently as a blush blossomed across her pail cheeks.

"HANDS OFF OUR BOYFRIEND!" Vaggie and Charlie screamed as they dove across the table, both in their demonic forms and tacked the vine demon to the floor.

"MY IZU SAMA!" Ibara snapped possessively as he vines wrapped the two demons before they could think rationally and pull their weapons on her.

"Please don't hurt them Ibara-kun." Izuku asked with a raspy voice, unable to move from the neck down due to the vines which constricted him from the shoulders down.

"Y-you called me kun... IZU-SAMA CALLED ME KUN!!" Ibara squealed happily as she blushed a bight red. "I-if Izu-sama wishes it. I too shall join this harem!"

"I think she completely misunderstood the situation." Vaggie deadpanned before being silenced by a rather heated kiss from the vine demon.

"BAD THOUGHT!" Izuku squeaked as he tried to look away only for the vines holding him to constantly adjust to have him looking at the scene before him.

"Me next!" Charlie shouted upon seeing the satisfied grin her girlfriend was sporting. Ibara was more than happy to oblige the princess of her request. "wow....ok, you are definitely allowed to date us."

"I'm pretty sure this is a sin." Izuku admitted, he would of certainly been blushing by now if he had any skin on his skull asides his vocal cords. How he could see he had no clue and chalked it down to magic.

"I mean maybe but they let Hitler into heaven for killing Hitler, dad is still pissed about it." Charlie admitted with a faint blush and panting.

"wait, how does that work?" Ibara asked in confusion as her vines finally withdrew.

"I have zero clue who decided it but basically whoever killed Hitler was guaranteed a spot in heaven." Vaggie explained. "Since that hijo de puta nazi offed himself, he got out of his dues."

"Why didn't they just kick him out?" Izuku asked with a strained tone. The second world war may have been centuries ago but that evil little man had contributed to the deadliest war in history and the deaths of millions of people.

"No clue honestly." Charlie shrugged. "Although given the amount of people in hell with a axe to grind with him and his regime you can bet the second they do kick him out he won't last a minute."

"great, now my breakfast is ruined." Ibara pouted as she looked at her mushed bread on the table. "Atleast being in Izu-sama's harem is worth it."

"I don't have a harem!" Izuku protested.

"I don't know, I think Momo looks pretty hot." Charlie waggled her eyebrows with a teasing grin. "What do you think room for two more in one day?"

"Damnit Charlie did you drink Baxter's energy drinks again?" Vaggie groaned with a face palm.

"I hope we aren't interrupting anything." Nezu laughed from his spot atop the secretary's shoulder. The skeletal blonde man looked shocked and embarrassed, Aizawa who as usual looked half asleep and the officer with them just looked fed up with everything.

"We just need a signature, and we can hand over your corpse." The man sighed in agitation as he passed Ibara a standardised form. "Sign on the lines and initials where the X's are."

"How often does this happen that it's standardised?" Vaggie asked as she took the forms from Ibara and began to look them over for any hidden legal trappings and loopholes.

"Bureaucrats are terrifying." The skeletal man sweatdropped.

Aizawa deadpanned. "More often than not it's Ecoplasm or one of his relatives that has to deal with that shit."

"Ah yes, before I forget the exam results will be handed out in two weeks time once everything has been graded, until then, SUFFER HAHAHAHA!" Nezu cackled like a maniac.

"Again rodent, special place in hell." Vaggie growled with a twitching eye as she looked up from the contract, already having found several poorly hidden (by hell's standards) legal trappings and loopholes that were relatively easy to get around as long as Ibara wasn't planning on collecting life insurance or selling off the meat from her former body as dog food, not food just Dog Food nothing about any other animal or even person then she was in the clear. They also couldn't claim the body was the Dahli Lama for some reason unless they had the blessing of the previous Dahli Lama.

"uh, am I all good?" Ibara asked as she read over Vaggie's shoulder.

"You're good so long as you don't collect the insurance, use your body as dog food or claim it is the Dahli Lama without their consent." Vaggie shrugged as she handed the forms to the vine demon who began to fill out the forms.

"Right, while that is happening, who wants some tea?" Nezu asked with a large grin. "I have Gold tips I have been saving for a while now that I was holding onto for a special occasion."

"Speaking of special occasions, when am I getting my raise?" Aizawa asked the principal.

"When you stop expelling the entire class." Nezu cackled maniacally.

"Fucking rat." Aizawa grunted in annoyance. "Can I atleast expel the blonde bastard?"

"Nope, the HSC will be on both our asses if that happens." Nezu shrugged.

"You've got to be shitting me." Aizawa groaned. "Cant the pencil pushers just fuck off?"

"Done." Ibara stated as she handed the signed form back to the officer.

"Here you go." He deadpanned as he handed her a small black case and left with the forms. Ibara immediately opened the case and raised an eyebrow at her decapitated head, the tooth marks across the severed neck and lower jaw certainly revealed how she died too. "Huh, I uh.... Nope. Just nope." With that the vine demon slammed the case shut again and planted it firmly on the table. "My parents can deal with that not me. Just no."

End.

Thought and comments?

What to do about Mayberry?