Adam was right when I finally did let go I was able to put my trust into someone that I thought I would never be able too. Philip was showing me a different side to him and I enjoyed this side. He wasn't the arrogant boy he was that would lure me in and then tear me down and knowing I was able to believe what he said only gave me happiness. My parents were no longer ashamed of me and I felt like I was bring honor to my family instead of taking it away. The next few weeks went by in peace and I started to spend more time with Philip and we got into a routine. Before I would begin my lessons for the different items I would have to know, Philip would take me on a horse ride.

"Can I skip my lesson today and we just stay out on a ride longer?"

"I don't want to get you in trouble with my mother. I know how much she looks forward to these lessons."

"I would rather just have more time to get to know you."

I really wanted to go my special place and I knew that would require skipping the lesson today. I started to walk away to where the sitting hall was. I was hoping the Queen would be there and then I would ask her myself.

"Where are you going?"

"To get permission. If you won't let me skip then I will just ask."

I heard him laughing as he followed me to the sitting room. I gave a big sigh of relief seeing his mother sitting on one of the chairs in the room. I was hoping she would be okay with me wanting to skip the glass for the day but I wanted to get out of the castle for today.

"Good morning Lily."

"Good morning your majesty."

"I told you on the first week you were here to please call me Catherine or mother. I see you as another one of my children and my children don't call me majesty."

I nodded my head because I remember she told me to call her by name or mother. It was still too weird to call her mother and with the last month I didn't know if that rule still applied with how things went.

"Of course I am sorry."

She gave me a sweet smile and motioned for me to come and sit down next to her. I did as I was told and sat down in the seat next to her. I was trying to make it look like I wasn't holding something back.

"I can see something is on your mind what is it?"

"I know how much lessons mean to you and I am learning a lot from you. I was just hoping to have this day off. It is beautiful outside and I have a special spot I like to visit when it is nice like today."

Maybe I had disappointed her. I didn't want to do that. I enjoyed the time we were spending together and I know Elizabeth should have been with us too but it didn't seem like she was around much.

"Of course you can I know how it is to not be able to get to a place you hold close to your heart. I still find time to get to mine. That will be the lesson for today. Holding onto one thing that will help you find your peace."

I gave her a hug and then headed towards the door. I walked to the doorway and grabbed my cloak and walked out the door. She understood where I was coming from and I liked that because she didn't act like how I felt was stupid. I had made it to the stables where the stable boy was just coming in from the field. He looked at me and nodded as if to let me know he knew what I needed. I was sure he was tired of seeing me.

"You took off before I could catch up with you."

"I'm sorry but I was just happy when your mother told me I could do an independent lesson today. I am heading there now."

"Am I allowed to know what this lesson is?"

He knew about all my other lessons. A part of me wanted to get my special spot a secret and not let him know about it. He would be the only person that I have taken and a part of me was jumping to take him and another wanted me to hold off on even telling him about it. I knew that it was time to jump into this with both feet.

"I haven't told anyone about this place. I almost don't want to tell you to keep it my safe spot."

"Lily please don't feel pressured into telling me about this special place for you. If the time is right you will tell me."

"Philip I believe the time is right. I don't want to keep anything from you. Maybe you will understand why I need to get away and be alone if you see this place."

"Only is you are sure."

"Yes I am sure. I have faith that you will keep this a secret for me."

The stable boy came back and handed me Freedom's reigns. He saw the prince and bowed to him. Once Philip dismissed him the stable boy went to get his horse. I wondered what it was like to work with these beautiful creatures all day. I am sure it had to be challenging to deal with some many different horses and their needs.

"I should have known you were coming with me today and told them to get your horse."

"No I don't mind waiting. I get to spend a little more time with you."

"You are spending a lot of time with me."

I just shook my head. It didn't take long for Philip's horse to be brought to him. Once both horses were ready he helped me get on Freedom and then he got on his horse.

"Led the way."

I smiled and then took off towards the clearing. I knew if we hit it at the perfect time that the light would look magnificent. We left the castle grounds and I started out towards the field. I made it to the clearing and turned around to see if Philip was still following me. He wasn't to far behind me. I got off Freedom and let her go to her spot that she normally eats from and I went to sit down on the edge and look out across the water. We had made it with a few minutes to spare to see the beautiful view that would take place. I heard Philip come to a stop and jumping off his horse and walking towards me.

"This is beautiful."

"Yes I like to come here to think. I found this place about a week after my family moved into your kingdom. It was a nice place for me to be able to get away and not have to worry about not knowing anyone."

I was mad that my parents took me away from all my friends and my home to live near the castle and be more involved in court. I didn't understand why everything was being taken from me. I was just so confused by everything they were doing that first year that I wanted to just run away.

"I bet we didn't help any by making your adjustment here easier."

"No but I knew that boys would be boys. It did take Elizabeth sometime to open up and accept me."

"How is this lake your lesson?"

I laughed, he wouldn't understand because of never having something like this. It seemed like the queen was able to find a place just like this and that made her a better partner. She is able to stand by the King through everything because she has a place to decompress and now I would be able to do the same thing.

"This is to help me be able to hold onto something that will help me find peace. Your mother has a place and she wanted me to be able to visit mine so I knew I would always have to find a way to it in order to stay calm when things turn rough."

"I feel bad for being here then. You should be here alone."

"No I want you to see this place. That way you understand that when I come here nothing bad if happening to me and I am not doing anything wrong. That when I come here I am just looking for my peace to keep everything going smooth. I want to keep you in the loop for everything that is happening in my life."

"I promise I will never take this space away from you. Knowing that you will be safe out here makes it a little better for me to let you go. I am able to let my frustration out, I forget that as you will one day be queen you must keep calm and never let anything break you."

That was one thing that would be hard for me. I needed to stand beside Philip and the choices he makes without showing my true feelings. I would need to keep everything bottled in until I would be able to make it out here and let it out. I would have pressure just like Philip would but we had different ways of being able to show it.

"Thank you. It is so comforting to hear you say that."

He pulled me close to him. I was sitting in between his legs and we were both looking out on the water. The sun was just starting to come over the trees and that is when everything in the area started to shin in a golden glimmer. I felt Philip kiss the top of my head.

"This place is beautiful just like you."

I started to blush and I was glad that he couldn't see my face. Getting to know that Philip wouldn't treat me like a claim and that he would see me as his equal made me relax more. We watched the water and all the animals come and go. I knew I could spend all day here and I probably could but I didn't bring a lunch with me like I usually did. I was in a rush after talking with the queen that I just left and I could hear his stomach growling and I knew it was time to head back.

"We should head back. I forgot to pack a lunch."

He stood up and helped me up. We went and grabbed the horses and then started to head back to the castle. Philip was the first one to make it back to the castle and I couldn't help but smile because of how much he would move to get food but if you asked him to do something it could take a few hours to get him to do it. I just made it into the stables Philip was already heading into the castle. I handed over my reigns to the stable boy and followed the same path back to the castle. I made my way into the castle to see if I could catch up with Philip. I couldn't find him when I went into any of the rooms so I just made my way to the kitchen. I was just going to cook something up that was nice and easy. I made my way into the kitchen and saw Philip was in there cooking already.

"What are you doing?"

"I was going to surprise you with cooking lunch."

"How about I help you cook?"

I wanted to make it seem like it was a couples thing to do and not that I was worried about eating what he was making. He nodded and I started to move around the kitchen to create a meal. It didn't take long and I would let Philip do something every once in awhile. The meal was done and we sat at the little table in the corner.

"You don't know how much it means to me that you trusted me enough to show me where the lake was. I can only imagine how many times you spent there in the last six years."

"I want you to see what I see and know what can bring me joy. Don't get me wrong you bring me happiness but when things got rough here this last month I forgot about the lake and I fell into a deeper hole. I can't forget about it and that was the lesson that your mother was teaching me. I need to be able to hold onto the objects and places that can keep me happy in the dark times. I know we wouldn't work in the end if I didn't have a place to escape."

It was nice to be able to tell him everything because I hadn't talked with someone like this since a year ago with Adam. Even Adam didn't know about the lake and I knew by someone knowing it would be a little easier to make trips out there without feeling guilty for missing something. Especially when it came time if I decided to stay here with Philip and would need a day away he would know I was safe and not wonder what could have happened.