A few weeks had gone by since Philip and I had talked and I was starting to get into a normal routine and no one had mentioned much of the first week I was here. My parents had come to visit every other week and when they were here they had dinner with the King and Queen. Adam hadn't come back to see me and I figured that was for the best because I didn't want anyone to get in trouble with us talking and that was the hardest part. I no longer felt like I had someone I could talk to about anything and the worst thing was I felt I had lost Elizabeth as a friend too and I couldn't bring myself to forgive her yet for trying to create trouble. I wasn't sure why she did it but she had tried to talk to me a few times and I wasn't giving in this time she was going to have to prove to me that she did care for our friendship and I wasn't just another person for her to use.

The servants came in every morning and helped me get dress. I hadn't really gotten to know any of them yet and I wasn't sure I wanted to yet because with how the King was acting I wasn't sure if my stay was going to last. Once I was dressed I decided I was going to skip breakfast because I didn't feel like putting on a happy face today. I walked out of my room and down to the main door, where I grabbed my cloak before heading out the door. It was now late November and you could tell that the weather had changed because the chill in the air was now becoming more permanent. Once outside I made my way to the barn where the horses were kept.

"Hello Lady Lily, can I help you with anything?"

"Yes I would like to go riding could you please saddle up my horse for me?"

He nodded and continued on his way to get my horse and make sure that the horse would be ready for me to go out. I probably should have told someone I was going on a ride but I needed to get some air and clear my head. I was afraid if I told someone that they would stop me from going out and I needed to get away for some time.

"Here you are miss."

He handed me the reigns and I walked outside with Freedom. I had her since I was a little girl and she has always been reliable and never once hurt me. Once outside I mounted onto her and I took off outside the castle wall. I turned around to watch the gates close and than I was off. I could get the time I needed away from people telling me how to think or how to act. I wasn't use to being in this type of world where I couldn't decide for myself.

I found myself in a place I hadn't visited many times before, it was a meadow that I came to when I was a little girl. I found it strange how this location could be in both times but it still had the same feeling about being in the field like I did in modern times. I could spend hours here and know that no one would bother me so I could think about anything I wanted too. Sitting here looking at the sky just made me smile because of how peaceful and nice it was to just listen to the birds and watch the clouds in the sky. Every once in a while Freedom would come up and nudge me in the arm and I would pet her head and she would go back over to the grass to munch.

It wasn't until the sun started to set that I realized that I had been here for longer than I intended to be. I grabbed Freedom's reigns and climbed up onto her back and made my way back to the Castle. I knew I had missed breakfast and lunch but I was hoping I wasn't late for dinner. I went as fast as I could through the fields while trying not to push Freedom to much but I knew she was able to go faster than she was going now. As I neared the gates I saw them start to open and once I made it threw the gates, I went down to the stables. The stable boy was there as I walked up with Freedom. I handed the reigns over to him and watched as he took Freedom to the back for her to be un-tacked and brushed out. I made my way to the castle bracing myself for whatever was behind the door.

"Lady Lily welcome back."

The butler was standing in the entry way as I entered into the castle. I gave him a nod and continued on my way to the dining hall. I was sure that no one noticed I was gone and even with me running late that it wouldn't matter to any of them. I entered into the dinning hall and everyone was sitting there.

"I am sorry that I was late. I lost track of time."

"Please have a seat."

I did what I was told and watched the servants bring over the food. It was a quiet meal and it was awkward and I felt like I was failing once again. Dinner ended and I made my way up to my room. This has been the pattern for the last few weeks with me not talking with anyone and spending my time in my room. It wasn't the exciting life I was hoping to have here but the King only saw me as someone willing to break an agreement and the Queen saw me as someone who wanted more than just her son. I was the one holding off from Elizabeth which in turn just made her distance herself from me. Leaving Philip in the middle of all of this, which only made me feel worse. I passed the servants not saying a word, they were looking at me and I knew there was gossip going around the castle but it no longer concerned me.

I was going to find out how to get home and leave this place because it has felt like this world had turned against me and nothing I was doing was the right way. I felt helpless and what was worse I had no one to talk too. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me or treat me different so I just put on a brave face and went through my day. I would find different things to keep me busy so my mind wouldn't think about it. People would ask me if everything was alright and I would give them the generic programmed response. I felt like I was a robot and I wanted out of it. I was working on a needle point when I heard a knock on the door. I figured it was a servant with those being the only people who came near my door.

"Come in."

"Why are you so sad looking?"

My head popped up because that wasn't the same questioned that was asked when someone entered my room. I was just so use to the is there anything I can help you with miss, that it took me by surprise that someone else wanted to actually talk and see me. Seeing a friendly face made everything better, I missed having Adam around and it was like he knew.

"Adam?!"

"Hey I heard you were having a rough time here and I figured I would stop in and see how you were truly doing."

I gave him a little smile but I knew I wouldn't be able to do my charade with him. He would know right away that I wasn't being honest with him. I decided it would be nice to finally talk to someone about what was really happening here.

"How do you always know when I am down?"

"I have always been able to tell when you are upset. Plus I heard the rumors going around town about how things aren't as happy as everyone would like people to think."

So now the news traveled to the town. I am sure that in no time my parents would be here to tell me how much I disappoint them and how much I have screwed up. I tried to not let the news he just told me show on my face but that was hard.

"Well what have you heard? I can tell you if it is true or not."

"I know one thing is not true. They are saying you are locked up in the dungeon which I can see if wrong. Did you really tell the King you wouldn't marry Philip?"

"No I just said how Philip would give me the choice to choose if I wanted to marry him or not. Of course that wasn't the right thing to say. I know I must seem like such a failure to my family and to you. I didn't mean to screw up but it was brought up about us being married and Philip had promised me that I would be able to say yes or no."

"Don't worry Lily we can leave if you want. I will go any where with you."

"I can't Adam that would only make things worse. The King sees me as someone who won't follow through with an agreement and the Queen sees me as someone who doesn't want her son."

"How does Philip and Elizabeth see this all?"

"I am not talking to Elizabeth because of something she did which in turn makes her not talk to me. Philip is stuck in the middle of this all and that only makes me feel worse. I would never want anyone to choose between their family and me."

That is when the tears started to fall and I couldn't seem to turn them off. I hated how people's lives were going to be changed by all of this because of something I had in my heart.

"Lily don't worry. I am sure everything will work out in the end."

"I'm not so sure. I thought I had lost everything. I hated not having you to talk too because that was the worse part you were right in the end because I don't have a say in who I spend the rest of my life with."

"This was the one thing I was hoping I would be wrong with how this would all go. I want you to be happy and I know that Philip could be that guy can you put your trust in him like you do with me."

I had known him for what seemed like my whole life that is why I could put my trust in him. I was trying to trust Philip but then my mouth got in the way. I couldn't just agree with his father and let him prove that what Philip told me was true. I didn't put my trust in Philip like I should have in that moment.

"I do trust him but then my mouth got in the way and I had to put space between us. I don't want to divide a family and I feel if I stay here that is what will happen."

"Lily that isn't what I mean. You need to trust him and tell him how you feel. Open up to him, if you are destined to be married then you will want to be able to tell him how you feel. I know I should keep my mouth shut and take you away like you want but I can't, I want to make sure that you are happy with all decisions that you have in front of you."

He was staring out the window and I knew he wanted to take me away from here and make me feel better. Adam had always been that person for me and I knew I was always be protected when he was around.

"Adam how can I let someone in when I don't know if they will be there to protect me. You have been a rock for me and now I don't know how to put that trust in someone else."

"Lily you need to let me go just like I need to let you go."

Adam was still looking out the window. I knew this was hard for him and that is why he couldn't look at me. This felt like our relationship was coming to an end and I didn't know how to react.

"Adam is this where we end?"

Now he turned around and looked me in he eyes. I knew right then and there that I had just gotten my answer. This was the end for us at least for now. A part of me was still hoping that my gut feeling was wrong and he would tell me no this isn't where we would end.

"I hate to say this but yes. For now our relationship has to end here and you need to see where things could go with Philip and I am going to push you into trying."

He came over gave me a hug and then went out the door. I watched the door close and I was still in shock. Adam was gone and he thought he was doing the best for me but I felt like he was wrong and now I was completely alone and had no where and no one to turn too.