"Yes mommy?", Mila asked.

"Okay.. do you know the meaning of lie?", I started, not exactly sure if this is the proper start.

"Yes.." she replied.

"So mommy.. has been lying to you.." I paused to gauge her reaction. She furrowed her brows, not understanding why would I lie to her.

"So" I started again, "Daddy doesn't stay with us." more confusion on her face.

"Okay Mila, I know its a little early for storytime, but do you want to hear one?". She nodded.

"Okay so before you were born, I used to stay somewhere else.. with daddy. We used to stay in Seattle. Do you know where is Seattle?"

"No", she replied.

I had an idea and quickly went and grabbed my phone and showed her a map of USA. I pointed out where we lived in New Mexico and then to Washington State and pointed out Seattle.

"That is faaaaar", she said in.. amusement?

"Yes" I quickly put my phone away and focused on the main task.

"So Mila, when mommy found out that she was going to have you.. I was a bit scared. You see, even mommy was small and stupid."

"Stupid", she repeats and giggles.

"Yeah, that. Mommy wasn't sure what would daddy say if he knows about you. So... mommy left Seattle and came here, in Santa Fe.. our new home" and I could visibly see how her face fall. She wasn't expecting that her mommy could do such a nasty thing, even I regretted myself when I came here.

"So daddy doesn't know about me?", she asks all of a sudden. I am a little taken aback how she actually understood everything I said.

"No babygirl.." I faltered, and she made a face.

"Mommy you know I don't like that name. I am NOT a babygirl", she said going completely off track.

A smile made its way on my face. She isn't mad at me.. or is she?

"Mommy can I ask you a question?"

"Anything!", I want her to talk, and want to know what exactly is she feeling.

"What is daddy's name?"

Have I never told her Christian's name. I don't even remember myself. Maybe because it never came up I guess. Nonetheless, there was nothing to hide now. So I tell her.

"His name is Christian. Christian Grey", and I found myself smiling when I said his name.

"Christian Grey", she repeats and smiles a beautiful smile at me.

"Mila?"

"Yes mommy?"

"Are you angry with me?"

"A little",and I nearly stop breathing. So she is mad at me.

"I am so very very sorry Mila. I was stupid back then. But mommy has improved. And now mommy will do whatever you want."

Yes, that is what I am going to do. I won't force my wishes on Mila anymore. Its her choice from now on. If she want to meet Christian, i'll do that.

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything."

"I want to get down", she says as she struggled in her dining chair. I put her down and she immediately ran into her room.

What?

"Mila!", Instant panic spread through me. What is she doing?!

I run behind her and tried to open the door but it is locked. I banged on the door but there is no answer.

What if she harms herself?, my subconscious nags me.

"NO!", I banged on the door again. This was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?

Or she is simply thinking, my inner goddess consoles.

Yes, probably, my subconscious replies.

"Mila, honey, please open the door. Talk to me. I won't say anything. I promise I will do what you want.", I say whatever that comes to my mind.

The door unlocks and out comes a dressed up Mila for school.

"Mila!", I heave a sigh or relief and hug her tight. "What were you doing?!"

"I was getting ready for school?", she replies, nonchalantly.

"Why didn't you answer anything?"

"I was thinking."

"Thinking what?", I look at her face for any sign but she is expressionless.

"About daddy." and I nearly stopped breathing. Oh.

"And?"

"And i've decided I don't want to meet him."

"What? Why?", I asked, clearly surprised. All this time she wanted to meet Christian and now suddenly she doesn't want to be with him?

"Because I want to meet him when you want to meet him. You don't want to meet him, right mommy?"

"It is not like that.." but in reality it is the truth. I don't want to meet him, ever again.

"I will meet daddy only when you will take me." And she kissed my cheek. "Mommy come on we are late for school!", Mila says and runs to put on her shoes. I smile at her retreating figure.

She is so smart for a five year old. I must've done something good in life to get someone like Mila. She is full of light and happiness, exactly opposite to a dark and doomed me. And if I have one wish in life, it would be to never change her happiness. She deserves the world for all I know.

Just as I was about to get in the car, ready to drop Mila to school, I get a call. It is Cynthia, my assistant at my workplace.

"Steele", I said hurriedly as I check my watch. We are, indeed, getting late.

"Ms. Steele, the documents you were waiting for have just arrived."

Shoot.. them. So early?

"And?"

"I haven't opened them yet."

"Put 'em on my desk. I'll be there in 15 minutes", I say and end the call.

If you don't know the clear definition of hell, i'll show you. Because it has just started for me.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Leave your thoughts and please vote! It means a lot to me.

•VOTE/COMMENT/SHARE•

Until we meet again, xoxo ~ Ava❤