Dying.

I'm dying.

Your eyes fluttered once, the pain in your body too much. Why were you here again? Something about fighting? You blinked, and in place of barren ground lay two pairs of shoes, one polished and the other familiarly caked with dirt, blood and what you wished you could say was spilled lemonade.

"A woman?" a familiar voice said as the black-footed one knelt down to you. "That guy was a girl?"

"You said yourself that she was one of the best in your force," a smooth voice said. "I myself have encountered many women that were stronger than their counterparts. Though it seems as if she'll die very soon."

"If...that's...the case..." you rasped, catching their attention. "Then...quit prattling...and do your duty...the war...is not over..."

"It is for us, missy," the other man said. "How about a job?"

<><><>

"I'm so sorry!" you squeaked, having spilled wine on your blond-haired friend, Bard. He waved you off, only lighting a cigarette.

"Don't worry about it; shit happens. Lord knows I've done worse," he replied, waving away the flame of the match he had lit before walking over to the sink and getting an old cloth wet.

"Mr. Sebastian's going to be so mad at me again," you fretted. "Is it just me, Bard, or is it like he's the bloody devil? What if he kills me on the spot?"

"F/N, you're doing it again. I know you were good at finding threats, but Sebastian wouldn't kill ya. He'd have to get through me first anyway."

"Bard..."

"Just what has the explosive duo gotten up to this time?" A familiar voice asked with a tired sigh.

"N-Nothing!"

"Just spilled a bit of wine on myself," Bard said at the same time before looking a bit sheepish. Sebastian glanced at you and connected the dots before exhaling again.

"F/N, come with me for a few minutes, will you?"

"Hold up a second; what are you calling her out for?"

"I'm not an idiot, Bard," Sebastian replied tiredly, taking you by the wrist and leading you outside the kitchen and into the pantry.

"Are you going to fire me?" you asked, trying to hold your head high. Standing up to authority had never been your strong point.

"No, F/N, not today, so please don't start crying."

"I'm not crying."

"No, because Bard is simply cutting onions, yes I see," Sebastian replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I didn't pull you aside for the wine, although please do fix your clumsy and pyrotechnic habits. The master wishes to know if you need anything, and please do not hesitate to tell me if you require underclothes; that is one of the reasons I drew you away."

"Can I just have men's clothes for once?" you asked with a slight harrumph. "They're so much more comfortable and easy to move in."

"I believe I've already talked to you about this, F/N," Sebastian replied with a sigh, and for not the first time, you felt like a child speaking to him. He looked about the same age as you, yet why was it that he always seemed to dwarf you?

"Society isn't fair," you whined before thinking about stealing Bard's clothes again—surely he wouldn't mind that much. Well, he had kind-of minded, but...

"F/N, you are working as a professional; it will not do to have you wear men's clothing in front of the master or guests. So please tell me if you need anything." You folded your arms and told him the few things you were lacking. "Thank you; you may go," he replied before turning and muttering, "Now for the difficult one..."

"Well?" Bard asked anxiously as you re-entered the kitchen.

"Let me off with a slap on the wrist," you replied with a shrug.

"He slapped you?"

"Not literally, Bard."

"Oh, right, course. Heh." A faint blush had settled on the blond chef's cheeks. "So, lunch, right?"

<><><>

"That way," Bard said lowly to you, making a quick motion, and you nodded slightly, circling around to flank the intruders quietly before on an instinctive signal, the two of you fired, scattering rounds in all four of them, and each collapsed.

You glanced at each other and grinned triumphantly before a dozen more broke open the doors making such a racket.

Reacting on instinct, you withdrew a grenade, pulling out the pin in your teeth before you threw it into their ranks, and while all of the men received lethal wounds, the floor had unfortunately suffered damage as well. Sebastian was probably going to hit you upside the head again...

When you glanced at Bard, he was sheepishly putting a grenade of his own back into a pocket. Obviously, he'd been about to do the same thing, but you'd just been faster. Mey-rin ran inside, her glasses more or less shattered though her grin was plain.

"Just one left," she said, although behind her loomed a giant of a man, but Mey-rin fired backward, stone smashed around the giant's head, and two shots rang from your guns.

"None," Finny declared happily as the male fell. "We protected the manor again~!"

"I wouldn't say that," the familiar voice of your employer said, and the young master appeared before you, accompanied by Sebastian as usual, carrying a stack of packages in one hand and clutching the throat of an older man in the other.

"P-P-Please let me l-live," the man wheezed, clawing at Sebastian's iron grip, and you winced as you heard a crack as his fingers tightened before loosening, dropping the dead man on the ground. Not for the first time, you felt you were walking on a precipice that was the head butler's patience.

"Be more careful," Sebastian reprimanded, tossing the bomb that had been attached to the man's back high into the air, where it loudly exploded in the sky, raining down small pieces of debris. "Particularly with the manor; how many times do you think this place can be repaired?!" You looked down guiltily.

"Sorry, Mr. Sebastian," Mey-rin said, playing with her index fingers.

"I'm sorry too!" Finny whined, hugging the butler's leg, much to his irritation. He muttered something under his breath that looked like something quite profane, but it was hard to tell.

"Enough; just clean up the mess," the Earl said with a sigh. "We have a guest tomorrow, and I expect the manor to be in proper condition."

"Yes, young master!" you chorused together, and you immediately busied yourself cleaning up the rubble of the floor as the bodies were moved out, somewhat unsure of how to fix it. Bard soon joined you in cleaning up the small crater, and it was soon filled and leveled, but the matter of the inconsistent floor remained, and you bit your lip.

"Let's just cover it up with this," Bard said, and for a moment, you hallucinated that he was holding up a blanket of twigs and leaves rather than a rug. You shook your head.

"Yeah; we'll find something to fix it with later," you replied, helping him spread the rug over the hole, making it even more invisible than a proper pitfall trap.

"F/N," Sebastian's voice called from behind you, and you felt your hairs stand on end as you turned and stood, unconsciously in stiff military position. "At ease." You loosened, immediately responding to the familiar command. "Here; these are yours." Sebastian gave two of the boxes to you. "And these are your boyfriend's." He set two more boxes on your pile as your ears almost undoubtedly turned pink.

"H-He's not—that's so...."

"Who are you talking to, F/N?" You yelped, dropping your boxes and throwing Bard on the ground after he'd just tapped your shoulder.

"Sorry!" you quickly apologized, helping your friend up, who was rubbing his head, wincing.

"That takes me back," Bard muttered before he saw the top had come off of one of the boxes, revealing the underclothes you had requested, and he stared for a moment until you put the lid back on. "Reminds me of the first time you threw me to the ground."

"Let's not talk about that," you said, embarrassed. Admittedly, he hadn't known you were a woman at the time, but the situation had been...compromising.

You picked up your boxes before forgetting which ones were yours, with the exception of the one Bard had managed a peek inside, and Bard took the ones you hadn't taken already. You opened your mouth to tell Bard that one of those boxes might be yours, but you were cut off as the master told you to go to bed.

And so you and Bard went your separate ways, and it was only when you arrived in your own room that you dared look in the box, which, as it happened, contained a clean, white chef's uniform. You closed the box—now you'd have to return it.

Or did you?

You didn't say two of the boxes were his...

Mey-rin was just laying down to sleep when Bard burst into the room, badly startling both of you, and Mey-rin started some rant about bursting in on ladies, but I noticed Bard was holding one box, softly panting.

"This definitely belongs to you," Bard said before he seemed to realize he was, again, in the bedroom of two ladies, and his blue eyes traveled across your nightgown. "Nice legs."

"Bard!" both you and Mey-rin shouted, although Mey-rin was more red than you were.

"Geez, sorry, alright! I wasn't thinking about it," Bard grumbled, setting the box in your hands and rubbing the back of his head, and he seemed to notice the other box. "Is that one supposed to be mine?"

"No," you replied, but he had already opened it and gave you a dirty look.

"Do you really like pants, or are you just falling into old habits?"

"Pants are comfortable," you grumbled, folding your arms, and Bard slung a familiar arm around your shoulder, smiling smugly. "You guys all have it easy without wearing dr—"

"You wear whatever you wanna wear, sweetheart~" he interrupted, kissing your cheek and leaving without so much as another word.

"What—Bard?" you asked, staring out the hallway with the box he'd left behind.

Seems like we're done dancing around each other...