For the first time in months, Ashton was at ease, and lying beside Luke, he knew he'd be alright.

*****

"Ash, babe, you ok? Just breathe, yea?"

Luke softly murmured to Ashton, slowly but surely, calming him down. Ashton sighed and buried his head further into his hands, before curling his arms and legs around Luke, in an attempt to find sleep.

It had been quite a while and Ashton hated being up while Luke slept, because he wasn't ready to be alone, especially during the night.

Ashton would lay down and sleep, 2 hours being the longest amount he'd achieved in the past few weeks. However, more often than not, he'd be shaken awake, and the looming shadows and darkness surrounding him would drive him to panic. It was hard, and Ashton craved sleep, it being a temporary escape from the hell he was trying to crawl out of.

Tonight was no different, and as Ashton uncomfortably shifted, Luke's body fell limp and his breathing evened out, as he fell asleep, leaving Ashton and the shadows alone.

Ashton swallowed thickly and crawled silently out of the bunk, wrapping a stray jacket Luke had tossed on the bedpost over his shoulders. It was far to warm in the house for a jacket, but Ashton needed a bit of comfort as he worked the courage up to walk downstairs.

It took a lot longer then it would've taken the average person, with a lot of hesitation between steps. Ashton had only walked halfway down the hall when the house itself creaked and groaned as it always did. He jumped and gasped, heart racing before he pushed himself into the empty bathroom.

Ashton shut the door and sighed, breathing heavily as he leaned against it, before he cast his eyes up to the mirror, hazel gaze fixed on himself.

His skin was pale, more so than usual, with the faintest tints of fading bruises painted along his jaw and cheekbone, scattered everywhere along his body. The dark bags under his eyes were heavy, understandably, as he hadn't slept in quite a while.

The hair on top of his head was messy and jet black, as he'd dyed it again only a few days ago out of boredom and for distraction.

Ashton more or less looked the same...but a lot more broken.

It didn't bother him much though. He'd always been broken, now, it was just more clear.

After a few more minutes of staring blankly at his reflection, Ashton heard more creaks as the house settled in its place, and he winced in fear, eyes shutting as he breathed heavily.

He needed to get back to the warmth of the bed, no biggie, right?

Ashton took a few more shaky breaths, before his fingers wrapped around the door knob and he pushed it open, slowly returning towards the room, when light caught his attention.

Ashton's head snapped towards the window, where faintly, somewhere in the forest behind the house, he could see a campfire.

It burned brightly, and the flames danced, sparking into the inky sky. Ashton's emotions felt a little too overwhelming in that moment, and he no longer had control over himself.

As it was expected, the urges to hurt himself, and the risk of depression and other mental illnesses were high following the incident. Ashton had handled everything quite well, and was doing ok. He truly was, however, keeping the urges at bay did not mean that they didn't exist.

Ashton still felt strange, and the way the fire ignited and triggered something inside him that he didn't know existed was frightening.

Nonetheless, it did not stop him. Ashton quietly made his way downstairs, where he clicked the lighter on, hot flames causing searing pain as they scorched his skin where he burnt it.

*****

"Could we go out today?"

Luke dropped his gaze to Ashton's dyed head that was buried in his chest, letting the question sink in as Ashton requested again.

"Can we?"

"Yea, of course, if you'd like"

"Perfect"

"Anywhere particular?"

"Tattoo parlour?"

Luke lifted Ashton's head up this time, and adjusted them so they were staring in each others eyes, before expressing his confusion.

"Ok...but, uh, why?"

Ashton crossed his arms over his chest and stared in fascination at Luke's drawstrings, waiting a moment before he began gently twirling and playing with them as he tightened Luke's hoodie. Luke sighed and gripped Ashton's hands, meeting eyes again with the embarrassed boy.

"Ash, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Um, you promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Of course"

Luke wrapped a comforting arm around his boyfriend, soft kisses trailing along Ashton's face. Ashton sighed and dropped his gaze before he stretched his arms out towards Luke, rolling the sleeves up.

Luke stared at the small burn marks along his arm, and gently took Ashton's hands into his own, before wrapping his warms around Ashton and pulling him back into his chest. Ashton's back shook as he cried, and Luke gently shushed him, before he further inspected the marks.

"Princess, what happened?"

"I-I wanna get a tattoo because I-I'm scared Lukey. I don't wanna cut myself and h-hurt myself a-again. Th-thats not good. Tattoos hurt, and then they're something beautiful. I want one to h-help me"

Ashton whimpered softly, as he tried to explain himself, and to his relief Luke understood. He nodded and whispered into Ashton's ear, telling him it was ok, and that he was ok.

Ashton nodded and cuddled back into Luke, who focused his attention down on Ashton, not caring for the movie in that moment.