7 years since I walked out of everything I cared about. Even now the pain is unbearable but the consequences of being happy is devastating. So, I am staying back.

My art earns enough to live comfortably. I draw everything I remember about the happiness I was briefly known to. I did what I should. As long as nana had the company in her hands, the threats are never going to end. I helped Sophia and her father to acquire the company in 2 days. I did all the hard work. Philip and Laila will remain as shareholders but their power is limited. As soon as nana was arrested, I made sure Sarah will remain safe, before I took off.

Sophia by this time was not so happy about how things are. So I had to leave. I don't want my baby to get hurt again. She almost lost her life, which killed me in return. Had she lost it, I would have died too.

Ahmed helped me during the most difficult time of my life. He kept me updated on Sarah and her health. But the biggest help he did was introduce me to Sufism and Islam. And it with the help of the Sufi community here, I am living each day. I have not once gone back to US since. If I go, I know I will end up seeing Sarah and that will not be good for either of us.

I stopped asking about Sarah after I got to know she recovered completely. I want her to be happy. she deserves it. May be she got married and have children as beautiful as she is now. May be she has forgotten all about me. May be she hates me. The may be are endless.

It's almost midnight. Time for me to sleep. But as always memories of the woman I love are keeping me awake. And I heard a vehicle parking in front of my small cottage. An art dealer said someone is very interested in one of my painting, and requested my name and address. Also that the person will introduce me to some hotels and what not. I have enough money but the street vendors I supply my art to, they can do much better with such deals. So I asked him to give it the person.

And a knock on my door. People really should know it is not polite to call over someone at midnight. My house keeper, Mrs. Jane opened the door. If it is important she will call me. I am still in my painting room. I have so many of Sarah's painting here. No one but my house keeper is allowed to enter this room because it is the only place I actually live, with the face of the woman I love surrounded.

I heard the door open behind me.

"Mrs. Jane, it is late for any visitor" I told her.

"Not after 7 years" I heard the voice, and I stunned when the paint in my arms crashed to the floor. I didn't turn. I don't have to. I know who it is.

*********************************************

I wasn't sure if the address was right, but I can find out. I tap the door with shaking had. And an old woman opened the door.

"Steve vivre ici" I asked her.

She looked at me like she really knows me.

"Vous... Vous" she said.

"Yes, do you know me Madam?" I asked her politely.

"He draws you everyday. His room is filled with you. You are the one" she said while holding back tears.

"Where is he?" and she pointed me to a room which is closed.

"Merci" and I walked in to the room. I don't know what to expect. But whatever it is, I have come this far and I will find out. But whatever I was expecting was nothing compared to what I saw in the room.

My faces was all over the place. And in the middle of the room Steve was facing a painting and doing his work.

"Mrs. Jane, it is too late for visitors" and that voice. I remember every bit of it and I couldn't stop my tears.

"Not after 7 years" I told him, and the next thing I know is, he dropped his art utensils. He didn't move. He didn't turn. He just sat there.

It took me every fiber of my body to move forward. And I walked slowly towards him. I stopped right behind him.

He turned slowly towards me. I could see him shaken and he is shaking physically as well. He looked at me. He looked tired. Dark circles under his eyes. He has lost weight and look much older than I remembered him. But still handsome. Still strong. Still the only one I want to give myself to.

"I almost lost you once, and no matter what you say or do, I will not be the one who will bring destruction upon you. I beg you, don't weaken me more than I am already. Please leave for your sake" he said. Not something I expected to here, but he is crazy if he think I am going to leave here. Even if he drag me from the ear and put me outside the house, I will remain here.

"I am here to stay" I told him and lift my hand to his face and he flinched. I know it is not out of disgust but out of fear. And this nonsense has lasted too long for my comfort.

"7 years, day and night I searched for you. Not a minute passed by I didn't think of you or cried for you. You had no right to leave me as you did" I said while my tears streamed down my face.

"They drugged me initially to stop me from asking about you. Do you know that? My mother had sedatives to keep me from looking for you when I was recovering. Every time I get agitated, she drug me. That was my life for 6 months" by this time I was breaking down.

"Still, I called everyone I knew and everyone who knew you to know where you were and why you weren't beside me. It took Jen and a lot of threatening from her to stop the sedatives. When I could hardly walk, I go out in the taxis to every place I know you have been and ask them about you" and I sat on the floor sobbing.

"I..........I..............." I couldn't complete my words.

"Stop, please stop for Allah's sake" he said finally.

"Do you think you are the only one who suffered? I almost killed myself. I was drowning in alcohol, drugs and doing everything to die early. I was a coward, so I couldn't kill myself. If not for Ahmed, I would have been dead. He introduced me to this life where I can live with pain without destroying myself. Look at this room. You cant find a single space without your painting. I live here amidst of you" he said looking devastated.

"Then why are you pushing me away? Why cant we be together?"

"When you were shot, I lost the shit. I will never go through that again. Until you gained conscious I was not like a madman but was a madman. I cant do it again. I want to know you are living and that is enough for me. I am content living rest of my life knowing I kept you safe"

"No matter what you do, I am not leaving here. I am staying with you" I said stubbornly.

"There are people who are still angry with me and do whatever to get at you. No, I will not do it. I will gladly take my own life but not yours" and that pissed me off.

"Enough of this nonsense" and I got up from the floor.

I walked towards the door, locked it and took the key and put it in my trouser. He was still seated in the same place staring at me. I walked straight towards him, put one of my handover his shoulder and the other behind his head, and slammed my mouth to his.

He stiffened, then fought it and within a minute complete surrender. I sat on his lap and let him kiss me all the way he wants to and all the way I imagined him to. I didn't break the kiss nor let him break it.

After I don't know how long, I slowly lifted my head.

"We are going to get married tomorrow morning. I will not leave your side for a second until then. If you leave me this time, I promise you, it will not end well for me" I warned him.

He looked at me and took my right hand. I think he was surprise to see the ring still in my finger.

"I have to do the right thing" he finally said.

"The right thing is, I will marry you and have your children. I will be with you day and night, in your arms. Damn the consequences. Better to live a life than living like the dead" I told him.

"No" he pushed me aside and got up. I knew at that moment it will take some pursuing to get this stubborn man to see reasons. I removed my scarf, and loosen my hair.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked me quite shocked.

I was unbuttoning my shirt by then. I am not going to remove my shirt but I know how this game works. I am a bloody psychiatrist after all. And I didn't do consulting and charging an arm and a leg as fee for nothing.

"Well, you have to figure out what I am doing" I said slowly unbuttoning my shirt.

"What you are doing is haram" he said. Wait, what did he say? Haram? How does he know of Haram and Halaal? But that can wait.

"There is only one way to make it Halaal. I need two people as witness for nikkah, one is your Mrs. June, and the other one is the driver who is waiting for me outside. We will call who ever you want and get done the nikkah now. Choose" I said.

He was hesitant and restless for a while. I kept my buttons on. And then, he came to me and gave me a tight hug. Alhamdulilah.