Damned if I'm going to leave before I get the chance to speak to her.

Hoseok gives me a very quizzical look, seeming to wonder what's so important about this stage that it requires us staying here.

"Do you know her?" He questions.

"Yeah."

"How'd you meet?"

I'm about to give him a very vague answer, but good 'ol Ah Rin manages to save me by coming onstage. She's just as breathtaking as ever, sporting black and white, likely old sneakers, light blue distressed jeans, and a mildly baggy white sweater, as well as a black and white snapback. Her hair falls to about her breasts and it's been dyed an almost caramel color. With the exception of the hair color, she's dressed similarly to me, what with her outfit being mostly monochromatic.

She seems just as fascinated with her clothing as I do, all things considered. She looks down at her shoes and shifts her weight from foot to foot nervously, fiddling with the hem of her sweater with her free hand. Finally, she looks up, and I almost subconsciously find myself donning my sunglasses. No need to make her more nervous than she already is. Nervousness is never good in hip hop, and right now Silver's performance is going to have to be stellar for the crowd to get into it.

Finally, her introduction begins. "Hi, everyone," she manages. A good start.

"My name is Silver, and I'm a twenty-two-year-old rapper from Busan. This song is about me coming here to Seoul to pursue my dream of making music. I hope you enjoy my performance."

She bows respectfully and is met with polite applause. I watch her chest heave as the backing for her track starts playing. Her head bops with the beat and she seems to count herself in in her head before she begins.

"Nothing's changed there, at least," I whisper. That's always been one of her habits— bobbing her head to count herself in. She used to say if her body isn't feeling the beat, her head isn't either.

Hoseok looks at me quizzically yet again. "Seriously, did you two date or something?"

"Not now; watch her," I state. He obliges.

Rin's just coasting through the first verse. It's obvious she's still very nervous about this performance, and it's being reflected in her display. She used to be like this all the time, and it bums me out a bit that it doesn't seem to have changed.

My opinion changes, though, as she begins to sing the chorus. I see the lyrics click in her head, and she looks up and out instead of down at the crowd. Rather than a couple steps in either direction, she begins moving about the whole stage more, claiming it as hers.

Things only get better from that point on. Rin completely forgets her nervousness and her inhibitions and loses herself. She's bouncing around the stage, arms wild as she hammers out the second verse. The crowd responds, nodding and bouncing along to the beat. I am, too, and so is Hoseok.

"She's good," he says to me. I just nod in response. Yeah, she is.

The second chorus is better than the first. She's totally let go and is essentially letting the music use her as a medium, rather than the other way around. The enthusiasm from the crowd is palpable. Hoseok sings along but seems surprised that he actually knows the words. I smile up at her as she sings, praying she won't see me.

Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to be smiling down on me because her eyes lock with mine about halfway through the bridge.

I watch her muscles tense. Her grip on the microphone gets tighter. She sings with painful awareness of her audience. The smile that had previously rested on her face is gone.

Damn, I really messed up.

Silver puts on a great show, bringing enthusiasm and power that the crowd adores. Rin, though, is definitely fuming. She channels her anger into the performance, which is a really good way to deal with it. I can't nod along to the song anymore, though, knowing that one glance at me is all it took to piss her off that much.

Another mutter escapes me, "Jesus, Rin, I'm sorry." Hoseok looks over, concerned, but says nothing. He doesn't have any context for the situation, so I didn't really expect him to have much to say.

Rin finishes her performance and the crowd cheers fervently. As much as it hurts to see what I'd done to her, her performance got ten times better because of it. I clap and cheer, too, despite the lump in my throat.

"You ready to go?" Hoseok questions, putting a friendly hand on my shoulder.

"You head home; I'll get a cab. I've got to talk to her."

"Fine, but you owe me an explanation when you get home, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever. Just go home," I laugh and playfully punch Hoseok in the shoulder. Hoping he bought the joyful façade, I turn back to Rin as she concludes her stage.

"Once again, my name is Silver and thank you for being such a great audience. Have a great rest of the day, thank you again!"

I start off towards the side of the stage, and as she steps into the wings, I can't help it.

"Rin!" I call, praying she hears me. She stops halfway down the stairs, freezing in place. She definitely heard me.

I watch her descend the stairs and immediately get sucked into a conversation with a guy in a hat and a blue shirt, but she then leaves my view. I start pushing through the crowd that had formed behind me during Rin's performance, trying to get out of the throng so I can head to a side entrance.

"What the hell, dude?" Someone questions.

"I'm sorry, this is super important," is the only response I can muster.

Finally, I reach the side entrance to the stage and I'm met with a security guard.

"You can't come back here, sir," he states authoritatively.

"I need to speak with Silver. It's urgent. Please, you have to let me in."

"Yeah, okay, 'super urgent.' Right. Name?"

What a dick, I can't help but think. This guy's the definition of abusing his power. I sigh, taking off my glasses. "Min Suga."

"Suga..?" He questions. "Of Bangtan, right? Sorry about that, go on in." Honestly, this guy is exhausting. High and mighty one second, low and apologetic the next.

"Thanks," I mutter. In my head, I add, for wasting my time. God knows Rin's probably already gone by now. I must've ruined this whole festival for her. Why do things with her keep going wrong? Even when all I want is to apologize I make things worse. Good going, Yoongi.

I search backstage feverishly, hoping to God she's still around. As I check, though, my suspicions are confirmed. Ah Rin is gone, and that may have well been my last chance at burying the hatchet.

Too desperate now to just walk away, I decide to ask around. I'm never normally like this. Jeez, how does she do this to me?

The first few people I ask have no information for me. The only responses they can give me are things like, "No, sorry," and, "Wait, who are you talking about?" After around five hopeless exchanges, I feel like it's time to give up, but a final glint of hope suddenly blinks into my vision.

He's about my height, with short, well-manicured black hair poking through his backward snapback. His rather tan face sports a smooth complexion and a strong jawline, and his clothes consist of black jeans, sneakers, and a light blue patterned button-down. A rather attractive guy, all things considered. I'm sure girls would be into him. His appearance alone, though, is not what draws me to him. He's the guy that I saw speak to Rin just a few minutes ago. I hurry over to him, nervous.

"Excuse me," I begin politely. "I could use some help."

"Yeah? What do you need?" The mystery man questions. Well, he seems nice enough.

Before I can ask my question, recognition flashes into his eyes. "Hey, aren't you..?"

"Suga. Yeah. That's not what I need help with."

"What's wrong, man?"

"Do you know Silver?"

"Yeah, why?"

"She's an old friend of mine. We got into a fight a long time ago and I want to make amends."

"Noble. Unfortunately, you missed your chance. She left in a hurry the second she got offstage."

"Damn." I really did mess up, didn't I? Who knows when I'll see her again? How am I supposed to say I'm sorry if she runs away when I try?

"Look, Suga, you seem like you're really in a bad spot. Tell you what, I'll help out." He straightens up and smiles, changing in demeanor quite a bit.

"The name's Choi Juyoung, and I work as Silver's producer and best friend. She's doing a gig a week from today at a club near here. You could catch her there. Here, let me write it down."

"Oh my God, thank you so much, Juyoung," I manage, totally exasperated by his sudden act of kindness.

"Of course," he says with a smile, handing me a piece of paper. His tone turns suddenly serious as he speaks again. "Suga, Rin means a lot to me. She seemed really worked up just now, and I can only assume that's at least in part because of you. So make sure you don't make things worse for her, alright? If she wants you to stay away from her even after you apologize, then stay away from her. Understand?"

"Absolutely. And call me Yoongi."

He hums his affirmation and then speaks again. "The show's at seven; I didn't write it down."

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Now, you should probably get going."

"Right. Yeah, I will. Thanks again, Juyoung!"

He waves me away and I make my way out of the festival, clutching the paper in my pocket with a vice grip. I flag a cab and make my way back to the dorm, where the car Hoseok drove home is parked. At least he got back alright.

I enter the dorm with a bit of nervous energy still pumping through me. I kick off my shoes and head quickly to my room. Jimin and Taehyung are watching TV, and Namjoon is asleep on the couch. Seokjin's cooking dinner. The others, I assume, are in their rooms.

As I open my bedroom door, a hand finds my shoulder.

"How'd it go? Did you find her?"

It's Hoseok, of course. I knew I wouldn't get away that easily.

"In," I instruct, gesturing for Hoseok to enter my room.

He takes a seat on Jin's bed and gives me a thoughtful look. Then the interrogation begins. "Who is she?"

"Friend turned enemy. To her, at least."

"Were you ever anything more?"

"No."

"Did you talk to her? What'd she say?"

"Nothing, Hoseok. She left before I could talk to her."

"That's rough."

"I mean, it's not all bad. I got the address for her next show, so I'm gonna try and be there to talk to her."

"When is it?"

In response, I pull the paper from my pocket and hand it to him. "Starts at seven," I add.

"We've got practice that day," he states, returning the paper to me.

"Yeah? What for?"

"Review. Dance for the older songs."

"I can skip that, can't I?"

"I'm sure you'd do fine without it, but you'd need permission."

"Guess I'm talking with manager-nim, then."

"Wow, you really want to talk to this girl, huh?"

"I really do. I feel like I've wronged her." This is a lie, sort of. I mean, I guess in her eyes I wronged her, but our differing opinions on the matter are the whole reason we don't talk anymore.

"I just want to try and bury the hatchet, is all."

"That's good of you. You'll get out of practice."

Hoseok shoots me a warm smile. "Good luck."

"Yeah, thanks."

Seokjin calls from the kitchen, announcing that dinner is served.

"Now, let's go eat."

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hello, friends! how are you all doing? i hope you're well!

if you liked this chapter, it'd be super rad if you could vote for it or comment on it. tell me what your favorite bangtan song is! the most important thing, though, is if you think somone you know would like this book, please consider sharing it with them! it would mean so so so much.

thanks again and be cool, but not too cool,

sam

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