《Our Strange Love》Chapter 15
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Eran had a towel hung over his wet hair. "I can't believe you brought extra clothes," he said when Riley came out of the bathroom.
Riley chose to bathe second, knowing that he'd need time to build resolve after seeing and smelling a fresh, glowing Eran. "I told you, because of last time I thought I should be prepared just in case—I mean, who knows when some jerks will show up to come take my head." But mostly I was hoping that some way, somehow you'd invite me to sleep over, intentionally or not... "It's good you had a spare toothbrush."
Riley got a towel thrown at his face. "Why?" It smells like his shampoo. Heheh.
"You talk too much." Eran hid his face behind a book.
Hm? Riley tilted his head in curiosity at Eran's awkward behaviour. "Eh? Huh? Did I say that aloud?" Riley asked, panicking. There's no way...
"'Why?' If that's not it, then I think we're both better off not knowing. Probably."
He's totally thinking that I was thinking something weird... Oh. Riley mentally sighed in defeat. I was. He tossed the towel in with the laundry. Riley watched Eran mess his wet hair by rubbing his scalp. "You always go to bed with wet hair?"
"No. Sometimes it's dried by then."
"If you blow dried it, it'd be less messy." Even though it's cute how it is now.
Eran gave Riley a "Do you really think I care" look.
"You should at least do it for presentations and stuff."
"I probably do."
'Probably?'
"Get out of my hair unless you're going to blow dry it for me."
"I wouldn't mind but... You're starting to feel more like the child than the breadwinner."
"You're still going on with that?" With half-lidded eyes, Eran pursed his lips.
What is that look? Is he bothered? Amused? Sleepy? I can't tell. Riley thought it best to shift the conversation, "I look forward to seeing your bedhead in the morning."
Eran clicked his tongue. He stood up, went into his room and came out with a blanket and pillow. "Here." He placed them in Riley's arms. "Well, goodnight." He went back into his room and closed the door, without latching it.
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Eyes staring at the barely ajar door, Riley brought the pillow to his chest and squeezed it slightly. What is this?... Am I actually feeling... lonely? What the hell am I thinking, anyway?There's more than one reason why we can't sleep together—
Suddenly, the door swung open. Eran stepped out with a bothered expression. "It feels weird with you out here and me in there."
Riley was nearly speechless. "Um..." It'd be totally out of character so... "You can't be wanting to switch places..."
"No, of course not," he said as if it were obvious.
Silence.
Other options? We both sleep on the floor. We both sleep in the bed. "I'm fine out here. Just go back and sleep."
Riley thought he heard Eran whisper 'No,' but that had to be his wishful subconscious falsifying things. Still, Eran didn't move.
Bothered by Eran's density, Riley stood up and moved towards the bedroom. "Then, let's go," he said as he passed Eran and stepped through the door. He expected to be stopped but ended up reaching the foot of the bed before halting on his own. He's not saying anyth—
Click.
Eran closed the door behind them and walked up to the bed. Maybe he's testing me. Riley tossed the pillow onto the undisturbed side of the bed. He pulled the covers away and sat down. Shockingly, Eran climbed in as well. They both lay down. Riley's heart was pounding. Is he still seeing if I'm serious?
"Mhm. This is better."
HE'S SERIOUS.
Unable to contain himself any longer, Riley sat up on his side and asked outright, "Are you serious?"
Eran momentarily turned his eyes towards Riley. "Put yourself in my shoes. What if I was staying at your place?" He paused. "Besides, you're not a girl, so it's not a big deal. The bed's big enough. It's cold enough." Eran rolled over, facing away from Riley.
I understand. Like me, he's probably not used to having other people over. But I'm the only one who knows male or female or whatever doesn't matter. What matters is whether you're sharing a bed with the person you love... and want to touch. With no other options, Riley gave in. "Goodnight."
"...'Night."
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Riley stared at Eran's back—the shape of his relaxed shoulder, the curve of his slender freckled neck, the spinal dip along the middle of his back. Riley wanted to hold those shoulders, to breathe in Eran's neck, to run his fingertips along that back. He clenched his fists.
If I had known I'd be sleeping with him, I would have rubbed one out when I went to shower. But it's so awkward to go do that now. If I came back and he could somehow tell... No, no. I'll be fine. Just think pure thoughts and sleep.
Eran turned over facing Riley. His eyes remained closed. I wonder if he's any bit sleeping... Riley watched Eran's eyes. Those lashes, those eyebrows. Fixated, he looked at Eran's visible ear. To nibble at his lobes... his lips, to touch them with my own. To slide my tongue against his. Riley felt a warning of arousal from his lower half. Stupid, stupid, Riley scolded himself for not controlling his impulses.
He had just begun to shut his eyes when he came to a realization. Ah! What if I have a wet dream? It wouldn't be the first time since he fell for Eran, but it'd be the worst time to ever happen for several reasons. Noticing that the body heat coming from Eran was making him throb, he decided, I need to go.
"I'll be back," he said very quietly in case Eran was still awake. After quietly going into the bathroom, he released a long, shaky sigh.
It didn't take long for him to finish—no matter how hard he had tried, he couldn't help picturing Eran against his skin, Eran's name trying to break its way through his lips. Cleaning up, he almost felt like crying. Maybe I should just give up and start trying to win him over. But Riley knew that wasn't an option, I can tell that in some way I'm important or special to him; even if they aren't the type of feelings I want, I don't want to take whatever he holds for me away from him. I can't—won't be that selfish. Protecting Eran's way of life was more important to Riley than any carnal desires.
Morning. The sun would soon break the horizon. Riley laid in Eran's bed, groggily awake, feeling like a zombie. He looked over at the man peacefully sleeping beside him on a pillow of sleep-abused hair.
I am never doing this again.
After grooming himself and putting on his uniform, Riley began to fix breakfast. A layer of whisked eggs was ready to be poured into a pan whilst vegetables were chopped and waiting to be combined and folded inside the egg.
Riley looked into the bedroom to see Eran still in bed, but at some point since Riley got up, he had turned to face the opposite way. "Breakfast will be ready soon, so get up."
Eran did not move.
Riley bent over. I wonder if he's really still asleep. "Eran."
No response.
He kneeled beside the bed. "Eraaaaaan."
Eran's lips seemed to smile slightly.
"If you don't show you're awake, I'll kiss you."
There was no response.
He's really asleep... There's no way he's waiting for a kiss. Riley touched two fingertips to Eran's lips and got no reaction.
Riley moved his face closer until his lips hovered beside Eran's. Don't do it, his conscience warned; his fingers pressed into the mattress. But I want to. Unable to pass on the opportunity that may never show itself again, Riley's body took over. He laid his fingers on Eran's cheek then kissed them. Somehow able to pull himself away, he bit his thumb and stood. The indirect kiss both excited and settled him.
Riley left the room and returned a few minutes later with a piece of omelette on a fork. He waved it near Eran's nose. The egg had much better luck than Riley had; eyelids twitched. Fixated on Eran's lips still, he put the food closer to Eran's mouth. Eran's eyelids opened slowly, along with his mouth.
He seriously wants me to feed it to him? He's like a baby bird.
Eran sat up on his elbow and received the food like an infant. As he chewed, he sat up and his eyes grew a bit clearer. "Good morning."
Riley thought he would burst with joy. Seeing and hearing Eran say that simple greeting, awaken after eating Riley's own homemade food, and rub his half-sleeved hand atop his dishevelled hair made Riley speechlessly content.
I am definitely doing this again.
DON'T KISS PEOPLE WHILE THEY'RE ASLEEP. It's creepy. Riley learns this the hard way.
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