Chapter 1

Janey

"Don't open it. Don't open it," Janey said to herself as she watched the tightly folded note travel from one hand to another toward the front of the room. Each person that passed it up to James could read it and see just how dumb and crazy she was.

When he took it, she looked away, didn't want to watch as he read it, didn't want to see him crumple it up and throw it away. She was sure he would. She had no idea why she kept doing this to herself. She kept listening to that little voice in her head, kept taking these stupid chances and they always came back to hurt her. And she knew this time would be bad.

James was popular and she knew she wasn't. Not really. She talked with people in that crowd, and they talked back, but she knew she wasn't one of them. She knew she wasn't pretty enough or funny enough or rich enough or fashionable enough to really be one of them. James had a car and she biked to school. Even though they were sophomores, James played varsity football while she could barely make it through gym. There were more ways that they were different than she could count.

And yet she had written that stupid note and passed it up to him. She wondered what dumb way to torture herself she'd come up with next.

Her eyes turned forward as he opened the note and she looked away again. Two rows down, Ash was asleep at his desk, head still up, but eyes closed and drooling just a bit from the corner of his mouth. At least she wasn't as weird as Ash.

As she kept her eyes moving around the classroom, she saw the boy sitting next to James look over at the note and laugh. He was one of James' friends from the football team. She watched James shrug and look back down at the note. She turned back to her English book and closed her eyes.

A minute later, the note plopped back down on her desk, just as tightly folded, with her name written under James' in his blockish handwriting.

She didn't want to open it. She knew what it would say. But she picked it up, released the edge from the fold that sealed it shut and opened it as quietly as she could.

Underneath her original note, "Would you go to the dance with Janey?" were two check boxes: yes and no. Neither was checked.

Instead, there was a note written beneath it.