hiii! i've so many chapters written ahaha, i'm always writing :p

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A few weeks have gone past since Ellie told Nathan the baby is his. Ellie hasn't gone to college because everyone knows, but no one is being nasty. I think it's just curiosity.

Issac has been quiet about the whole situation, whenever I mention it he changes the subject almost immediately or I revive one word replies. I think he's just stressed about his course work, I've been trying to help him with it but he always seems distracted to the point I wonder if he's going off me.

He's growing distant and is spending a lot of time drinking and it's worrying me, every time I ask him if he's okay or what's wrong he just says its course work stressing him out, but I'm not so sure anymore.

Nothing much has changed apart from that, college comes and goes everyday I'm waiting for Friday so I don't have to go in but I'm really appreciating the sessions with Louise. I'm feeling so much better and positive but I sometimes still have little melt downs.

Henry and Eric are apparently on talking terms and he's opening up way more to Henry, which is so pleasing to here. Henry is so happy but for some reason none of us can be happy for long when we hear whispers about Ellie.

Nathan still refuses to believe it and has been absent from college for the past few days. It's breaking Ellie's heart, I see her almost everyday now since Issac is becoming distant.

Just the thought of him going off me makes me want to curl up and cry. He's not at college yet but he should, hopefully, be turning up soon.

It's nearly the end of the day, Issac does the last hour and a half and I do all day. Our timetables are slightly different due to us being at different levels. I watch the cars go by, Nathan arrives and we just glare at each other.

Sam arrives but no Issac, I frown. I really wanted to see him today, I sign and go to stand up when I see his car roll onto the car park, my smile spreads from ear to ear.

I quickly walk to the entrance so eager to see him, my smile still shining bright. He gets out the car and I feel my expression slope, his hair is scruffy and he's wearing tracksuit bottoms with a worn out top.

He looks tired, I frown. "Hi beautiful" He kisses me on the forehead when he arrives in front of me, "Issac, are you okay?" Worry bubbles in me, his eyes are dark and tired and his face looks exhausted.

"Yes" He nods bluntly, I sigh and fix his hair a little. Even when he isn't at his best he still looks as if he is. I don't know how he manages it, but his hair does look like a raccoons nest so I smooth it out a little.

"Listen" He takes my hand, suddenly my body sinks with a bad feeling, "I've been thinking" He looks nervous and troubled, I know what's coming.

"I know what you're gonna say, please don't" I take my hand away, my body feeling cold and lonely already. "What's the matter?" He looks confused.

I can tell from the tone of his voice he's nervous, I knew this talk was going to come, I knew he'd go off me.

Are you really surprised? He's finally figured out that you're no good.

I shake my head, I feel a pool of tears flood up in me, over coming me like I'm about to burst.

You're worthless, who would want you anyways?

I shake my head, it's getting louder. "Darc! Darcy it's okay, what's wrong?" Issac takes my hands away from my head, instead pulling me into his chest.

"You're- you're" I stammer for words. I knew it was coming and I thought I was ready but I'm not, no where near. I pull away from him leaving a gap between us, my body shaking.

"I'm what? Darcy?" He looks just as petrified as me, he reaches out for me but I dodge him. I look at him confused, why is he trying to cuddle me if he's breaking up with me?

"You're going to break up with me?" I mumble up at him, my body still shaking like a leaf in the wind. His eyes widen, "No no!" He takes my hand instantly wrapping his arms around me.

Relief washes over me, he's not breaking up with me. "Whatever gave you that idea?" He mumbles into my brown locks of hair.

"Well you've been very blunt and distant recently and I was worried you were going off me" I admit, embarrassed.

"Darc- I would never" His words come out choked, "I know I've been an arse recently that's why I sounded a bit on edge, I came to say sorry" He gently tilts my head to look up at him.

I feel my body relax, "I was actually coming to ask you if you'd maybe come to Eric's cottage with me this weekend?" He nervously looks down at me.

"What do you mean?" I frown my eyebrows, one minute he's distant and the next he's asking me to go on a getaway with him? As much as I'm confused, I'm not complaining at all, I'm just glad he's not leaving me.

"Eric's mom and dad have a cottage in the country and he said I could go stay up there, so I was wondering if you'd come with me" He sounds nervous, probably unsure of what I'll say.

"Of course" I smile a big goofy grin at him, squeezing my arms around his torso.

He smiles at me and my body stops shaking, that was absolutely terrifying. What am I gonna be like if that actually happens? Ugh, I don't wanna think about it.

We hold hands to lesson and my body vibrates like a fork being jammed into a live plug socket just from his touch.

We choose each other as partners since Amelia is with Jasmine and Henry is with Eric. Issac shakes his head with a smile mumbling something about being replaced. "Let them be happy" I squat at him.

We sit at the back, "I've asked you to gather in pairs because we'll be doing portraits today so you're going to be drawing your partner" Kate announces, I whine.

"Please get your sketch pads and pencils out and you may begin" She smiles, I pull out mine and swivel in my chair so I'm facing Issac, he does the same.

"I don't think I've ever drawn something this beautiful before" He breaths, pretending to be under fake pressure.

"Why thank you, but I think it'll be easy" I laugh, sharpening my pencil. "Are you kidding? There's so many features to your face" He requests my sharpener with a gesture of his hand.

"Really?" I look confused, I have a basic looking face. "Yes, you've these very faint freckles and rosy cheeks" He looks at me and I suddenly feel insecure.

"And wide eyes like a babies but they naturally lye very sleek. Your eyes crinkle when you really laugh and your lips are small but plump" He pokes them, I smile enjoying my compliments, if they're compliments?

"I just love everything about your face" He pinches my cheeks, making me giggle but I hear fire alarms in my head over the word love.

"Well your face is quite detailed to" I smile at him coyly, "Your nose is like a cute little button and your teeth are some how perfectly white and straight" I say a little jealous, "Your eyes sparkle whenever you talk about something you love and a little dent creates itself in your cheek when you smile" I take my turn to poke his cheek.

"Oh and the hazel in your hair brings out the colour in your eyes" I add smiling more.

"It's so weird how we don't notice these things ourselves, like I've always thought I've been average looking, nothing like Nathan or Eric" He shrugs, is he joking? He's the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes one. From the first day I met him I thought he was insanely good looking.

"I think you're better looking then all of them combined" I linger my stare before starting on my portrait.

I see a little smile on his face, "How did I get so lucky with you?" He does the same, his pencil setting off on the sketch pad.

"I ask myself the same question" I try to contain my smile. Sometimes I don't understand Issac, for the past couple of weeks he's been off with me, I didn't speak to him once in the space of four days at one point and now he's back to paying me compliments.

I think he's hiding something from me which makes me sad. I tell him everything that's going on with me, even down to if I've had a good night sleep or not. I would like to think he'd be open with me but maybe not.

It takes us a while to draw our portraits, we haven't spoken especially now I've put myself in a bad mood with my never ending thoughts. I mentally slap myself.

"Okay everyone, pencils down. You can go for break, be back in 20 minuets" Kate warns but then shows us her toothy grin.

I stand to my feet, hiding my drawing from Issac, I don't want him to see yet and head out the classroom.

Issac follows behind, "Are you coming downstairs?" I turn around to face him, "No" he replies bluntly, already stalking down the corridor.

I stand defeated, back to the bluntness. He was giving me compliments and being nice at the start of the lesson. Where did that go?

I huff and make my way down, I walk past Nathan, "Darcy" I hear him mumble so no one else can hear.

"Yes?" I turn around to face him, he takes my wrist pulling me into an empty classroom.

"Ow" I release myself from his grip frowning my eyebrows at him, "What are we doing in here?" I ask sharply, rubbing my now painful wrist.

"Have you heard from Ellie?" He sits on the table opposite me, "Why do you care?" I glare at him.

"Can't I ask? She's claiming to be caring my baby" He rolls his eyes, he's still refusing to believe it.

"It is yours" I huff, another eye roll.

"It might not be mine- it isn't mine" He folds his arms, staring me in the eye.

"Yes it is" I copy his actions. "You do know she slept with Issac a day before me right?" He raises my eyebrows.

His sentence stings me but I push it away, the thought tears me to even think about. "It's not his, Ellie told me it isn't" I nod, staying confident.

"Yes and Ellie's very good at lying and getting people to believe her" He tilts his head, almost a look of pity on his face.

"It's not his! It's yours! Just stand up and support her" I gush at him before exiting the classroom and into the refectory.

I need some air, it looks a miserable day. In the space of 10 minuets I've gained a sweat on out of nowhere. I exit the automatic doors, seeing Issac smoking I turn and walk in the other direction.

Instead I plant myself on a wall closing my eyes, doing my breathing exercises.

I don't mind Issac's smoking, it's his decision if he wants to do that. I just choose to not be around it, he's been doing it more lately. I thought he'd stopped but I was clearly wrong.

Ellie told me the baby wasn't Issac so it isn't, she said they used protection and she seemed adamant they had. I nod along to my reassuring words, feeling better.

"What did Nathan want?" I jump smacking my head on the pole, whining loudly in pain. "Why did you sneak up on me?" I yelp through the pain. Issac stands in front of me, hands in pockets.

He shrugs, I rub my pounding head. "What did Nathan want?" He asks again.

"Nothing!" I snap, his bad mood is really getting on my nerves, "He wouldn't drag you into a classroom if it was nothing. Did he hurt you?" He takes my wrist that's placed on my banged head and examines it.

"Why do you care? You stormed off anyways" I pull my hand away from him.

"Don't be silly, of course I care" He rolls his eyes then checks my head. I shrug away from his grip, "I'm fine" I cut harshly.

"You still haven't answered my question" He stares down at me, "He asked me how Ellie was, okay?" I stare back at him.

At the mention of Ellie's name he looks like he's about to have a panic attack, "We should get back to class" He checks his watch and heads back inside.

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"He's acting strange" I sigh, after lesson I went round to Ellie's. She's the only person I seem to be around anymore.

"Are you sure you aren't looking to much into it?" She frowns at me, I shake my head. "He's very funny with me" I slump my shoulders.

Her phone vibrates, a number flashes up and she tosses it away, "Who is it?" I look at her abandoned phone behind her.

"The hospital" She mumbles, "The hospital? Is everything okay?" I ask alarmed, why is she ignoring the hospital?

"Yes everything is fine, they just keep ringing me about my checkup" She shrugs like it's no big deal.

"What about it?" I raise my eyebrow. "I didn't go" She shrugs again, I grow panicked.

"Why not?" I eyeball her. I'm at her house whilst her dad is at work for the night. I haven't ever met him, seen him briefly flit through the house to get changed for his next shift.

"Well" She sighs, "It was around the time I told Nathan and after what he said I didn't wanna know about the baby, he made me feel so lonely and stupid" She wells up.

"Ellie you're not alone, I'm right here. Ring the doctors and we'll go together" I smile at her, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.

"Nathan spoke to me earlier" I sit back, resting on the wall, her eye snap up immediately, "What did he say?"

"He asked how you were" I nod, nothing too important on his behalf but I reckon she'd want to know, "He was going on about Issac being the dad, again" I roll my eyes.

She turns slightly pale, "Nathan is the dad" Her sudden defensive side kicks in, "I know" I nod.

"Me and Issac used protection" She nods rapidly, "Yes, I know" I look at her oddly.

"Sorry I don't mean to sound paranoid, I just need you to know he's not the dad. It's Nathan" She looks me in the eye and I gain an off feeling.

I open my mouth to reply but my phone interrupts me, it's Issac. "Hello?" I open the call confused. We don't talk on the phone much because we're more or less always together.

"Darcyyy" His words are slurred and laid back, "Yes?" My voice becomes dull and blunt, he's been drinking, again.

"I need your help, come and get me?" He giggles down the phone, I hear faint music in the background, it's only 8pm & he's already drunk?

I sigh and put the phone down only to receive a text message of location, "What is it?" Ellie asks, twisting her hair with her index finger.

"We've to go fetch Issac" I roll my eyes, "We?" She raises her eyebrows.

"I can't drive" I huff, I can't wait for my driving lessons. She sighs with a nod knowing Issac has given us no choice and walks out to the car.

We get there in short time, he's in a little night club pub in town, neon lights flash outside hitting the brick walls and music in earshot.

He sees us and stumbles over, his walking no where near straight but some how manages to hurl himself across the backseats.

"Why is Ellie here?" He mumbles sounding frustrated, "Well I can't drive can I?" I snap.

"Can't you just be grateful she came to pick you up?" I turn my head to look at him, he gives me a blank expression. "Fine. Thank you" He forces out staring holes into the back of her head.

We get him back even quicker then when we drove there. I think because Ellie didn't want to be in the same confined space as Issac for long.

I help him out the car, his eyes are droopy and his smile is goofy like he's pleased with himself.

"Take him upstairs, my dad will be back soon. I don't want him lying in my living room" She mumbles heading into the kitchen, I nod and help him again, up the stairs.

"Thank you for coming to get me" He ruffles his nose in my hair, smelling the coconut scent.

I don't reply, instead I gently drop him to the floor where he flops out, his chest to the ground. "I'm sleepy" His eyes close, giggling to himself.

"What's he doing on my floor?" Ellie asks alarmed, "O-oh I'm s-sorry. I didn't know where was best to place him" I look up at her, even thought Ellie is my friend now I'm still so terribly intimidated by her.

"Issac?" She gently nudges his shoulder with her foot but he's asleep. "I'm sorry about this, I would have taken him to mine but I know for a fact my mom wouldn't want a drunken teenage boy on her hands" I put my head in her hands.

"It's okay" She shrugs, "Me and Issac always used to have sleepovers, my dad won't mind" She sits next to me on the bed as we both look at him asleep on the carpet.

"He's been drinking so much lately, it worries me" I frown, I watch him breath in and out gently.

"He always does this time of year" She frowns too, I look at her confused, "Why?"

"Because it's the nearing the anniversary of Andrews death?" She looks at me like I'm stupid and my heart sinks, why didn't he tell me?

I feel a headache come on and the blood from my face drain. That's why he's been so cold with me over the weeks, so quiet and always drinking.

"Didn't he not tell you?" She looks more sympathetic now but I'm embarrassed. Why didn't he tell me? Why did he feel like he couldn't tell me?

"I knew about Andrew and his story but Issac never told me when" I look away, jealous. Ellie knows him, almost everything about him and I don't. Do I really know him? Has he really ever opened up to me about anything other then Andrew?

I've told him vertically everything about me and I can't say the same for him, I don't even know his favourite colour.

"He goes a bit AWOL around this time of year, last year he drank himself into a coma" She mumbles whilst looking at him. I feel tears spring but I blink them away quickly.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Is all I can mumble out, Ellie frowns down at me, placing her hand over mine. "Maybe he was going to" She smiles sadly.

"Can I stay here for the night? I don't want to leave him" I change the subject, frightened all my emotions will flood out if I talk about it.

"Of course" She smiles standing to her feet, she gets me some of her pyjamas.

I smile a thank you and kneel down kissing Issac on the head. I don't think I'll move him from the floor so I decided to leave him be.

I wish Ellie a goodnight and escape to her makeshift spare room, it's the smallest room in the house with a pullout bed and a window.

I quickly and quietly pull the bed out and get changed before sitting on the bed slouching my shoulders.

I look out the window and tears fall from my eyes. I feel so hurt that Issac didn't tell me something so important, does he not trust me?

I would of helped him, doesn't he want my help? He told me about what happened to Andrew so why wouldn't he tell me the anniversary of his death is soon to approach.

Why would he tell you? You're not that important.

No, not today. I shake my head and climb my way into bed, I will not let my thoughts effect me tonight, not here.

My sleeping doesn't come fast after hitting my head to the pillow. I do my breathing exercises but that doesn't work, I count stars even sheep but that still doesn't work.

I lye on my back staring at the ceiling trying to clear my head of none stop thoughts but it's no use, it won't stop.

I turn on my side, I can only hear the wind blowing through the crack in the window and the rattle of the dream catcher above me that I don't realise Issac stumbling around.

His feet clamber onto the landing, hearing grunts until he finds where I am, "Darling Darcy" He whispers and before I know it he's lying behind me, arms wrapped around my waist.

"Issac" I try shuffle him off but he doesn't move, instead his hand raises under my shirt until it reaches a breast, my body nearly hits the roof with goosebumps.