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I pour all my attention at school and focus on having higher grades as possible, i refuse to hang out and refuse to talk to someone..

But after all i refuse them i ask myself alone at my room, i shouldn't have did that right?

I cried alot, it makes me feel bad!

It's just—whats gotten into my mind and i change myself?!

This is not what i want, nor what barujo wanted!

"Y/N? Dinner is ready.." mom knocks, i wipe my tears away, i clear my throat before speaking up..

"I'll eat later, I'm not done studying." I simply said.

"I-i can bring you your dinner?" Mom said.

"I will eat later." I said again.

"Oh..ok, don't over work yourself sweety." Mom said before she left, i cover my fave with my whole hands.

I take a few breaths before going back to work, damn it, my shoulder is aching..

Suddenly the girls gc is calling, i was about to end it but i accidentally click the answer button..

"Oh! Oh! Y/n have answered?! Hey girl how are you?? I am so worried! What happened to you?" Yooie worriedly said.

"I'm fine, I'm currently studying for tomorrows lesson." I said, and i go back reading my notes.

"R-really? I see, you know we are all worried about you, its just, you're distancing yourself away from us.." she said but i keep on reading..

"Are you? I m-mean, 'refusing' is so not you! You stop hanging out with us last 2 weeks then you slowly distance yourself from us.." she said.

I realize i am reading the sentence all over again, i close my eyes and lean back to rest for a bit.

"Y/n are still there? I know you're listening, if you need to talk about something, i am free to listen!" Yooie sincerely said, she sounds super worried..

"I'm d-definetly fine.." i whimper, i cover my mouth and preventing to cry..

"Y/n you don't need to stop yourself from crying, let it out, i wanna hug you so bad.." she said.

"I will wait for you to talk ok?" She said and after a minute she did not anymore talk.

"I'm tired, i can't stay like this...but i will feel guilty I don't know why. My mind is too messed up, I can't even understand myself anymore its just—... I'm tired and I'm sad, I don't know what to do to make myself feel better and move on that he is gone! I can't move on.." i cried.

"I want to be happy like what he just said to the letter, its impossible, I can't...after all he have said that, my feelings are messed up!...I don't know what to say anymore, but I'm sad and exhausted from being sad and all this stupid thing I'm doing!" I said and wipe my tears away as my voice cracks..

"I understand that, yeah, but barujo also doesn't want that right? He doesn't want you to suffer—i mean you don't have to cry everyday because he is gone, you have to accept that he is free...the people who passed away also doesn't want their love ones to grief forever.

Take a good rest, think about positivity, loose yourself for a bit it'll be fine.

You know let's skip classes tomorrow and go somewhere new, the midterms is already done anyways!

Let's go to my family's penthouse near the beach, we'll have some fun with everyone there!" She cheers me up, i laugh a bit..

"We can do a campfire, stargazing, partying, snorkeling, eat barbeque and etc! Lets make you feel better, don't lock yourself inside the tight box, I don't want you to suffocate yourself okay?" She sincerely said.

"I'm already suffocating myself.." i joked.

"See! You said it yourself, lets have fun tomorrow okay? It'll be me and bori's treat!" Yooie said.

"Can we move it to the day after tomorrow?" I ask.

"Sure! Sure! No problem, i will tell dad about us taking a break there!" She cheerfully said, i smiled.

"Thank you yooie.." i said.

"No problem y/n, i am your friend, a friend will always help!" She said.

"And thank you for your words, it helps me, i mean it..if I don't have a friend like you I don't know what will i do.." i joke, she giggled.

"Its yooie wamuki you're talking? A girl who's always cheerful?" Yooie.

" I know, so..yeah thank you again, my stomach is grumbling i have to eat now." I said.

"Sure! Your welcome, eat well and see you to the day after tomorrow, byee!" Yooie.

"Yeah, bye." I smiled and hangs up, after we talk my chest is somewhat feel relieved..

My head is not aching, then i smiled..

I hope i will do just fine, starting tomorrow, i don't want to sulk or ignore and be sad..

It will depress me..

I have to be more lively than before, i want to be like yooie..

Speaking of yooie and bori, they are in official relationship already, and are also legal in both side.

I hope they end up marrying eachother..

Takashi, he is always talking to me even i reply shortly, he's a good guy..

Yuri, is still crazy..yet he is so sweet, he would kiss me around my face if he saw me look sad.

Yuu will buy me a pudding bread and milk every breaktime, cause I don't go to canteen to sit and chat with them, he would always smile and pat my head.

Toru, he will ask me if I'm feeling okay...even i answered that ' I'm fine.' he would still hug me and felt his warmth, he is adorable.

Everyone is being super caring to me ever since that bad news happen, they are taking care of me and they will try to cheer me up..

I have to say sorry for ignoring them for 3 weeks, they are the best people i have met, i am so lucky.

Even though they are like that, you know what i mean.

And ofcourse Keiichi, the pride king..i also ignored him so he ignores me too, i have to say sorry to him and buy him a new toy that he would like..

His boyfriend will apologize to me because of keiichi, he is super nice, glad keiichi have him..

Now that i think of them, the suitors..

It'll be hard for me to choose who.