While Zayn was spending all that time with Harry, making and bringing lunch for him and sneaking him in and out of the house, it never once occurred to him that in the midst of his laughs and giggles, he was actually developing new and unusual feelings for him.

He and Harry did many things that required them to be within close proximity of each other. But it was never anything like letting Harry lie against him with an arm draped around him while he ran his fingers through his hair. And it was never anything like actually returning a kiss on the cheek after Harry had only done it to him first as a celebration reaction to guessing his playing cards right. This was just something that occurred.

Harry hadn't known at all what it was really like to have multiple types of affection for people. Yes, he knew what it was like to love Mummy and Nana and miss them whenever they decided to leave him in the house alone. But he didn't really understand what it was like to really want someone. He didn't understand what it was like to want someone not as a family member or a mother figure but as a partner. So he wouldn't really understand the thoughts in Zayn's brain even if Zayn explained it to him in simple terms.

One thing Zayn did know though was that he was important to Harry. Harry would not have always been so happy to see him if he wasn't and he wouldn't love to be around him so much if he wasn't. Harry gave every indication of Zayn's importance to him even when he didn't know it.

Zayn tried to hide it because honestly, he didn't know how appropriate it was. Because though he viewed Harry as a normal teenager, others didn't. So what would they think of him if they knew what he was feeling? What would Harry's Nana and Mummy think? What would happen if they found out? Nana would be all the more happy to use that as a reason to keep him away from Harry. He didn't really want to risk that. He was sure his sudden absence would be hard on both of them.

However, as much as he truly tried, his resistance didn't last long....

It was one night when Mummy and Nana were still out. They had been out for a while and Zayn decided he wouldn't leave until they came back. Harry liked it because he spent that time trying to read the books he had. Zayn was helping him.

"This... is... a... um... a um..."

"Caterpillar."

Caterpillar. He ... will... so- sss- "

"Soon."

"Soon... be a.. um...."

"Beautiful butterfly."

"Butterfly?" He cheesed. "I seen those all the time in... in mummy's um- mummy's garden outside."

"Yeah. With the pretty wings. Those sure are butterflies. Good job."

Zayn couldn't even express how proud he was to see Harry associate not just the sound of words with the pictures or real life objects, but how he associated the sound of words with the written words too. He had been learning so much since Zayn said he would teach him. Harry was certainly capable of much more than his mother and grandmother thought.

"When a...um what you say, Zayn?"

"Caterpillar."

"Yeah. Caterpillar is-"

"Harry."

"Huh?"

He smiled warmly at the boy who was still trying to sound out the next few words. "Harry. You have to look at me." He said softly.

Harry stopped reading the book and faced Zayn. "Hm?"

Zayn must've sat there looking at him and debating for a half minute before he made any kind of decision. Harry was still looking at him, so innocent with those big green eyes. And he just had to. He just needed to see what it was like to put his own lips on the lips of the one person who would forever make him a grateful man. Just one time. It's all he asked.

He did put his hand behind Harry's head but he didn't force him to come forward. It was only to keep him in place. When their lips touched, Zayn went no further than pressing them together. It was a quick kiss but it was long enough to leave Harry puzzled.

"Zayn." He said. "My mummy don't kiss me there... But I did... I did see that on my- my cartoons once."

Zayn had laughed very lightly at that. "Yeah. I know. Lip kisses usually mean that a person really likes you. Sometimes they love you too but they surely like you differently than they like everyone else. It's a special kind of feeling. Which means it deserves a special kind of kiss. Like the one I gave you. I'll try to help you understand as you get older. Okay?"

"Okay." Harry bounced with excitement then turned his attention to the book again. "Is... ready to...k- ch-"

"Change."

"Change into a...."

Harry continued to read his book and Zayn helped him all the way up until he finished. When they were done reading, they crawled into Harry's bed and lay out to face the ceiling just as they always had done. But just as Zayn was about to pull the cover up over them, Harry unexpectedly leaned down over him and he gave him the same exact kiss that he had been given earlier. Zayn stilled. He definitely didn't see that coming.

But when he saw the little grin on Harry's face, reality hit and he knew that he couldn't just pretend like it didn't happen. He had to say something. "Harry. Can you keep a secret?"

He nodded. "I won't tell."

"Okay." He sat up on his elbow and faced the younger boy. "You can't tell mummy and Nana about the special kisses, understand?"

Harry was not happy about that. "Why not?"

"Because... Because if they find out, I won't be able to see you again."

His bottom lip started to tremble and he grasped the material of Zayn's shirt before pushing his face in one of the bed pillows. "What? Why?"

Zayn put his hand over his hand to sooth him. "Because that's the way it is. They won't be happy that we shared a special kiss so they'll try to stop me from coming over to play and read with you. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

It was quiet.

"Harry?" He heard little whimpering noises and he saw Harry's shoulders vibrating. His face was still buried into the pillow. "Harry look at me."

Harry did face him and his eyes were already red and watery. He was crying and Zayn would have broken down at the sight of him if he didn't already know that would just make Harry panic more. "That's only going to happen if they find out. But they haven't found out and we don't want them to, so that's why we're being quiet about it, yeah?"

He nodded and wiped his eyes. "I won't say anything." He mumbled out.

"Good... Me either." He leaned over and he kissed Harry's forehead light and tenderly. No matter how small the gestures had been, having Harry's Nana and mummy find out what they had done was asking both to be in deep trouble and to be forcibly separated from each other. But Zayn couldn't even imagine being suddenly being ripped apart and forced to never see or speak to Harry again. That was so much like a nightmare that he'd wake in the middle of the night screaming and sweating from.

He knew he would do everything in his power to make sure nothing of the sort ever happened. But it was just too bad that sometimes even nightmares still turned into unwanted reality.