Silver bars hurt like a motherfucker. It took over an hour to calm down and stop tossing myself at the cage door like an asshole. Dad left me here to spend the night, anyway. No phone, no way to contact my girl and make sure that she doesn't hate me.

Goddess, what the fuck did I do?!

Groaning, I shove my palms against my eyes to try and stem the ache. My wolf snarls, pacing, all fired up because he can't run out and Mark his chosen mate.

I sexually assaulted Ili and told her she was my mate. Real romantic. Asshole. Jealous, stupid asshole.

I lie back in the cage and stare up at the night sky. It's cloudy and the moon's face is hidden behind some clouds. "I hate you, you bitch," I say out loud. "Fucking hide from me. You've never helped me before."

"How's the cage?" a voice comes from the dark.

Blearily, I look over at my older brother's friend, Sarj. "Lovely. Low rent, great accommodations," I say sarcastically.

The hint of a smile plays around his mouth. "My brother called me," he says quietly. "He wants... Well, no, that's not really accurate... He commanded me to come home."

I sit up, a little astonished. "Back to RustClaw?"

"Yeah," Sarj says quietly. "I leave tomorrow and you're coming with me."

"Tomorrow?" I repeat a little weakly. My mind starts racing. I need to talk to Ili, first. I can't just leave her behind, not after what I did today. "You OK with that?" I ask him.

"I guess it's time. This murder investigation is spreading all over the country, so I can work from the north. You'll be brought into the investigation up there as part of your training."

"Fuck, Sarj. I didn't even think about that." Now I really don't want to leave Ili here without me.

"At least work is a distraction from... her."

I nod, understanding what he means. Throw himself into work and maybe he can forget that he's in love with his brother's truemate. I also hear the unspoken advice, I need to think about something other than getting into Ili's pants. I need to train.

"I can't leave without talking to her," I tell Sarj.

He smiles weakly. "You're braver than I was," he says quietly.

I think for a moment. "No. I'm more desperate. I hurt Ili and she may..." I suck in a trembling breath, "...hate me now. But, I'm leaving her here alone. I can't just leave her here. She needs someone."

"She won't be alone," Sarj says. "Use the motivation to train harder so you can come back sooner."

I nod, my jaw clenching. "You have a phone?"

His smile grows rueful. "Here. Don't tell your dad I let you call her, yeah? I don't want to be in the cage with you." Standing, he stretches, then pauses. "Brax... let her have some space. She has a tough time ahead of her."

I pause with my fingers hovering over the numbers I've memorized. "Why do you say that?" I ask him.

"Being MateLess is a strange curse. Your expectations for your own life change. She has to figure out what she really wants."

"I thought for a long time that I would be mated to Ili," I admit in a hushed voice. "I... it makes me so fucking angry she was cursed but so happy that she doesn't belong so some other guy."

"Would you have rather never known Caroline?"

My wolf snarls, crouching low to the ground, he flashes fang. He loves his truemate and his choice. I guess shit is easier to figure out when you're an animal.

"No," I reply simply. "She's gone and fuck it hurts, but Ili is the only female I've ever seen, ya know?"

"You basically tried to Claim her today. You painted a target on her back and Braxton... we leave tomorrow morning, sunup."

"Fuck," I whisper. Guilt swamps me, again. Uncle Alex told me to take it slow and within days I'm forcing myself on my best friend.

"I'll let you have some privacy. Be careful what you say, yeah? She may not want to talk to you at all. Respect that."

I nod to let Sarj know I understand, but now I'm questioning whether I should talk to her at all. Will I hurt her more? Finally, I decide to just man up and at least apologize.

The phone rings and a very hesitant Ili greets me with a hoarse, "hello?"

"Ili," I rasp out. She sucks in a breath but doesn't disconnect the call. I take hope in that. At least I can apologize. "I'm so sorry, Ili."

I wait with bated breath to hear her voice again. Is she crying? Scared of me? For a long pause, I hear nothing. Just as I open my mouth to keep apologizing, to try to explain, she speaks.

"Fuck off, Braxton."

My wolf stops his angry pacing and sags to the ground, instantly defeated and ashamed. His female is angry and hurt because of him.

"I'm sor-"

"No!" Ili interrupts me. "You don't get to give me some pathetic 'sorry' and everything just washes away! Then you call me from some strange phone to force yourself on me all over again?!" she shouts into the phone.

"No, baby, listen," I plea on my knees even though she can't see me. "It's Sarj's phone because-"

"Did you break your phone?" she snaps out sarcastically. "Maybe it was in your pocket when you acted like an ass? Did it fall in the pool?"

"It was taken from me," I growl a little, "when Conner and Dad put me-"

"I hope they kicked your ass!" Ili screams.

"Iliana!" I roar. I immediately feel horrible when she falls silent. "Sorry, doll-baby. Don't hang up, please?"

"What do you want?" she asks, her voice sounding broken again.

"You," I reply without thinking. Wincing, I hurry to amend my claim before she starts yelling or worse. "I want your forgiveness and friendship back."

She snorts derisively.

"Ili... I love you."

"I can do without that sort of love, Braxton."

"I know," I whisper. Bile surges. I'm sweating bullets. "But I can't live without-"

"Don't give me that bullshit," she cuts off my words. "That's red-flag crap for the second... no third time today. You can't live without me? Right."

"Sorry," I apologize, knowing she's right. I take a breath. "I love you. I will make up for this, Ili. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for training up north."

"Leave now," she says meanly.

"Won't be released from the cage until tomorrow," I explain.

There's a pause, then she asks me slowly, "you're in the cage?"

"After what I did? Of course," I reply softly.

"It's only for raging wolves," she murmurs almost as if she's speaking to herself.

"It's to make sure you're safe," I tell her quietly. I don't tell her that Dad and Conner want to kill me, so I'm here for my protection, too.

"Everyone is going to know, Braxton," she whispers softly. "They're all going to think I'm some sort of wh-"

"Don't. Baby, they don't think that," I tell her, praying it's true. "And anyone who does isn't worth your time."

"I'm going to earn my place, myself, Braxton."

"Yeah, Doll. I know you will. Give me another chance?" I beg.

She pauses again. "Just friends," she says firmly. "And I haven't forgiven you yet."

"Ok, Doll. Friends. And I'll earn your forgiveness and help you get the alpha female spot."

"No! I just..." she takes a frustrated breath, "I don't need you to help me. I need to do this myself."

"Sure, babydoll." My voice lacks conviction. I want to help her. I need to help her. I can talk to Conner, to Bailey, to at least put a good word in.

There's another icy pause. "Bye, Braxton."

"Wait, baby-" the line clicks. "Fuck!"

---

My hands are shaking when I hang up. Truthfully, I've spent the last day trembling and shaking. I've taken three hot showers and soaked in the tub for twenty minutes. It helped, but I'm not fooling myself; this isn't just being cold.

My heart hurts. For myself. For Braxton. Mom and Dad are in shock, too. Dad has been on the phone with Beta Teague, Alpha Alexander, and Gamma Lyall for hours as if the males can talk their way into a solution.

To top everything, there is the cloying sensation of wrongness in my body and heart. Love is toxic. At least it is for me and I can't shake the broken strands of my matebond with Sean. Can't clean it away no matter how much I try.

"Here, sweetie," Mom brings in another hot tea. I make a sour face. There are mugs of tea sitting on my nightstand in various stages of cooling off.

"It's going to work out, Iliana," she says softly as she hands me the mug. I grasp it with both hands. At least the warmth soothes my cold skin even if the taste isn't what I prefer. "I'm sure Braxton was just suffering from not having his mate anymore."

I hide my grimace by taking a sip of tea. My mom, the nurses at the clinic, and my friends keep giving excuses for Braxton's behavior. I know they're just trying to help me feel better, but all it's done is made my shock fade into anger. It fueled my conversation with Braxton. I'm angry with him for putting me in the position of loving him and hating him all at once. He's my best friend, my rock, and he just tore that small comfort away from me.

"When you're MateLess you attract males," Mom says softly. She pets my hair, "of course they want you. You are accomplished, pretty, and smart."

I smile weakly at her. "Thanks, Mom." When she leaves the new teacup joins the others. Swallowing lemons isn't going to hide the bitterness at the back of my throat.

I am female, MateLess, and for the time being unranked. Braxton is an alpha male from a strong bloodline. A pack will instinctively cave to the expectations and desires expressed by the strongest males. Traditionally, a female grows in strength only if her wants are aligned with the males. We are bound to them even in a progressive pack like ClearHowl.

The pack will be watching me. Wondering. Gossiping. The lines between vixen and victim will be blurred by the tongues of the pack. Some wolves will pity me for nearly being forcibly Marked, others will wonder what I did to cause such a reaction from Braxton.

I toss the covers off of my bed, stretching. I dread the beginning of summer training school in a week. I wanted to train and study without every eye on me and now Braxton has made that impossible.

Worse is the fact that my never-mate saw me at an impossibly low place. I force myself to not care about Sean's personal feelings toward me, but I also have to acknowledge that as the future Beta of the pack, he has influence that can make or break my chances.

Sean was polite and respectful, almost distant, during the entire ordeal. He treated me as exactly what I am; the younger sister of the female he loves.

A bury my sob in my hand. I need to remember my plan. Heal, train, study and become higher-ranked than Georgina. That's it. No males. No drama. I forgot my plan when Braxton barged back into my life. Today was a slap in the face.

Lowering myself to the floor, I put my body into a plank position. I used to be able to hold a plank for a full minute without a struggle. I would do twenty of them before moving onto another exercise.

I fall to my belly after sixteen seconds. Grumbling, I reach over and write my time down on a fresh page in my notebook. Taking a breath, I do it again. By the time I do my fourth set I'm shaking again, but my body is warm at last.

"He's a jerkface!" The whirlwind that bursts into my room a half-second before proclaiming that stops in the doorway, chest heaving, cheeks apple-red.

"Hi?" I greet my luna hesitantly, still prone on the floor.

"Conner told me," Luna Bailey announces abruptly. "I had to pry it out of him with a crowbar, but he caved. I wanted to talk to Braxton, but Conner told me 'no' in no uncertain terms."

I feel a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. My she-wolf perks up, feeling comforted by the anger rolling off of her luna. At least this is one packmember who won't think I somehow forced Braxton to act like a jerk.

"That butthole," she seethes as if I just spoke my thoughts outloud. "All I hear are stupid excuses. Well, I'm telling you, Ili, men need to be held accountable for their actions."

I start to giggle in time to my wolf's wagging butt. It warms me up, completely, that my luna is so clearly angry on my behalf. It sure beats the sorrow my mom has over what Braxton did.

"Conner told me that Braxton is facing consequences," Luna Bailey says as she sits cross-legged on the floor in front of me., "but he couldn't tell me about how everyone is supporting you. He said that Braxton's wolf is forcing him to act inappropriately. It's pure, unfiltered misogyny." I open my mouth to agree, but she doesn't even pause for breath before continuing. "Conner said that wolves are driven to mate, that it's instinctual for the stronger, more dominant of the pair to demand submission."

Now she pauses, a slight frown on her face as she pushes her glasses up her nose. A slight chill dances down my spine. Alphason Conner is, without a doubt, the dominant, stronger partner. Is Luna Bailey safe with him?

"I pointed out that I could create a designer biological weapon and destroy the entire species," Luna Bailey muses thoughtfully. My she-wolf cocks her head to the side, watching her curiously. "Not that I would," Luna Bailey hurries to say, "but it would only take me a matter of months to target the specific gene markers that humans lack. Really, a subspecies would be more accurate," she adds as if that matters when she could conceivably kill every wolf shifter in existence, separate species or not.

"I like you," I blurt out without thinking.

Luna Bailey brightens. "Thanks! I like you, too. I don't have any friends in the pack, yet. Unless you count the boys." Her face darkens, "and they're all on my shit list right now."

I start to giggle helplessly. She's adorable. Pint-sized, as Dad would say, with a riot of golden curls and sparkling hazel eyes magnified by her glasses. Human and weak, but with a spine of solid steel. I bet Luna Bailey doesn't think twice about her self-worth. No wonder Alphason Conner fell head-over-heels for her.

She smiles until my giggles turn into tears. Then, my luna wraps her arms around me and rubs my back as I soak her t-shirt.

"You're allowed to be sad," she tells me softly when I'm done crying. "And you're allowed to be angry."

"I am," I croak out, "both."

"I know," she says softly. "Conner said Braxton is leaving to go north for training. Do you think he should be punished, or something?"

"No!" I blurt out. My stupid, girlish heart tremors at the idea of hurting Braxton, even if he's a horrible person.

Her wise, all-knowing eyes gaze at me for a minute. "So, I shouldn't shove an onion and fish in the engine of his truck?"

I blink at her in astonishment.

"What? It wouldn't cause the truck to fail, just make it smell horrific by the time he reaches Canada."

"OK," I say slowly before the idea takes root. "Let's do it," I whisper.

---

I smile at the sight of Bailey dancing around Lili's bedroom. They snuck back in about an hour ago, smelling of onions and garlic. Probably went to get a pizza or something, although I don't know why they needed to come back through Lili's window. Not a single person in ClearHowl would deny Bailey anything. She's magic that way.

I sit with my back against a tree as I feel my eyes drift closed. The soft giggles of my mate and luna drift to me, soothing the beast chained deep inside me.

The snarling gnashing of teeth wakes me up. Gasping silently I clutch my chest, willing him to stand down, to go back to his cage and leave me the fuck alone.

He paces back and forth, flashing fang when I don't move. His growling makes my head ring. I feel the trickle of something warm down my forehead and jerk into awareness.

Shit. I clawed at my hair too deeply.

I don't understand what my wolf wants at first. My breathing is accelerating, nearly out of control. I stand, straightening my posture to ease my airwaves. Spots dance in front of my eyes.

Claim her.

I slam my back against the tree I was sleeping against moments ago. The internal battle heats up. Fucking hell, Lili was just attacked by a MateLess male today and my wolf wants to do what?

I stumble towards her bedroom window, a moth to a flame. My wolf and I enter a deadly dance as I fight the urge to scent my mate and he pushes me forward. Stupid, ugly fucker.

"Lili," I rasp out, clutching her window frame with both hands, claws scraping at the paint. My body trembles with the desire to leap inside.

Claim her.

She jerks to her feet with a gasp. I soak her in. Her short hair is rumpled. She's wearing long, grey plaid pants and a sweatshirt from Caluna. I repress the growl, wondering who gave her that sweatshirt and if it was that fucker, Grim.

"Beta?" she says my title hesitantly as if she can't believe that I'm standing here.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her lamely. My wolf is shaking out his fur, furious that his mate didn't say my name.

Claim her.

"Fine," comes the abrupt answer.

I search for something else to say. "So... Bailey is really sweet. Ah, she'll be going to school with you in a couple of days," I blurt out. I keep my eyes away from the slim column of her neck.

"Alpha Alexander already said as much," she says coolly.

"Right, well, I think you two will make really good friends," I continue.

She sneaks a peek out of the corner of her eye. Her she-wolf is just as wary of us. Shy and careful with the male who nearly ended her life. "Yeah, Georgina mentioned Luna Bailey at dinner tonight."

Her sally hits me right in the chest, just like she intended. She was always good at finding weaknesses, wasn't she? The number of times Georgina would cry because Lili would attack her weak points...

At least it allows me to shove my wolf back in his cage. I shake away the thoughts of the rivalry between sisters. "Did she?" I ask. My fists clench on the windowsill as my wolf pushes against my control, but his surge of power is fading back under the cocktail of drugs I took earlier. He never can maintain that intensity for long.

"Yes," I answer. "She told us that you thought she would be good friends with Luna Bailey. She told us that she already knew about luna Bailey months ago and that she has tried to become friends but luna is shy. She also told us that Luna Bailey would be starting summer classes with us."

I stare at Lili's mouth as she talks. She has a delicate beauty, underwhelming at first, but I could watch her for hours. It jogs a memory, buried deep. "Do you remember that day when all the girls held an impromptu beauty pageant?" I ask her.

Those lips curl down. Confusion flashes in her grey eyes. "What?"

"You must have been... eight or nine," I murmur. "All the females put on dresses and makeup and us males were judging you."

Her nose wrinkles. "Misogyny," she scoffs. "I don't remember that day."

I smile. "You were winning," I say huskily. "You had this pretty red dress and your hair was down for once." Her fingers fly to her shorn scalp as a hint of sorrow plays on her face. I hurry to continue, "your talent was spinning around and around on your toes," I tell her. "You were ahead in points... then you left." My wolf settles, enjoying the memory of our baby-mate in her pretty red dress, dark hair spinning and spinning like a ballerina in the tall grass.