If I was going to make Elijah talk to me, I'd need to use a different approach. A change of scenery was sure to give different results.

I looked down at my fiddling fingers as I practiced what I'd say to him. The game plan was simple. Use small talk like the outcome of his game with his friends. Then, I'd jump into a more direct approach by using the previous night's events.

I took a deep breath as I walked through the small parking lot. Starting a chat with Elijah should be easy. An outgoing person like him would be sure to carry the conversation.

"Hey," I waved as I walked into the store. Once again he was on his phone, but this time it wasn't for long.

When he finally looked up at me, I felt such relief. "What can I do for you, ma'am?" He leaned across the counter, with a grin that reached his eyes.

Quickly grabbing my snacks, I placed them on the counter and asked, "How about you tell me how the game went?"

He laughed and nodded, "Obviously, Alex and I won."

"Damn, I wish I could've seen it."

"I promise, you weren't missing much." He insisted as he began to ring up my items. "$3.40, by the way."

Happy that he still took our wager seriously, I handed him a crumpled $10 bill. "By the way, I hope I didn't make you miss anything with your friends last night."

His nostrils flared as he pulled his lips into a thin line. "Nah," His voice became unnaturally high. "Don't worry about it." He shrugged as he opened the cash register.

"Yeah but still," I urged. "I feel bad that I had you that worried."

"Mike was dragging it this morning." He groaned as he rolled his eyes.

I felt a pinch. Somewhere deep inside I had secretly hoped that Elijah had been that worried about me.

You're not that important. He was doing a favor to his friend.

What kind of friends kiss?

"What kinda nerdy stuff were you getting into at the library?"

"That paper for psych," I started, confused at his blank unaffected stare as if we didn't share this class together. "The one due on Thursday night?"

"I'm more of a...wait till the very last minute type of dude." He laughed as he scratched the back of his head.

"That's why you always got baggage under your eyes."

I bit back a smile as Eli forced a serious face. "Get out of my store."

"Stop starting your papers at 11:50 pm with Red Bull and a dream." I giggled, grabbing the snacks off the counter.

"I don't know about you," Eli narrowed his eyes as he regarded me. "I make my dreams come true."

We're talking about homework, why is my heart fluttering like this?

Elijah was someone I was meant to let go of, but damn he did not make it easy. I knew it'd be best if I kept my distance from him. I've always been a little stubborn though.

Elijah held a hand up as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. "What's up?" He pushed my bag of snacks towards me.

"Bro, I'm sorry but I can't leave the store." An unheard response caused him to frown. "I'll call Elaine and see if she can help you instead, she should be up." He swiftly hung up and gave me an apologetic look.

The conversation was over. I felt a final pinch as I asked, "Is everything okay?"

It was as if he completely forgot that I was there. He answered as he typed away at his phone again. "Nah, not really. Alex is having some car trouble and asked me for help, but there's no one to cover for me."

"Ah, that sucks," I sighed, understanding that he wanted me to go. "I'll let you deal with that."

My feet were glued to the ground for a bit. There was a moment where I hoped he'd stop me, with his signature line: I didn't ask you to go.

If there was one thing I appreciated about Elijah it was his forwardness. Once my anxiety begins to rear its ugly head, I tend to remove myself from a situation before it gets out of hand.

Elijah never let me shy away from an awkward moment. Even if things were tense between us, he would at least attempt to rectify it by speaking to me directly.

I wasn't given that privilege that night. Eli barely looked up from his phone as the doors slid open for me. Determination was not something I was known for, but I would not take this lying down.

The next morning, I made sure to put on sneakers to match my athleisure. I stalked into the dining hall on a mission. Elijah was my friend, whether he liked it or not. Right?

Light chatter could be heard amongst the few campus residents that remained on that long weekend. It was easy to spot him, lingering by the utensils.

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he focused on his own task: picking out a fork with the least questionable stains.

"You gonna start bringing a fork from home?" I commented.

He scoffed as he regarded me. "I hope it'll never be that deep."

I chuckled weakly and I could already tell that the distance was growing. The stiff air between us prevented me from releasing the reins on myself. It's beginning.

"How was work last night?" I hoped that asking him open-ended questions would discourage him from using conversation stoppers.

He scratched the back of his head as he began to walk. Like a puppy, I followed behind. "Boring." He muttered.

"Were you able to—"

"Oh wow, you're still alive." Elaine interrupted as we approached the table.

"Thanks to you." I laughed as I took a seat beside her.

"What a way to thank someone," She shook her head disapprovingly. "Don't you know my number or where I live?"

I felt like I was being lectured by my mother. "W-well," I stammered.

I turned to Eli for assistance, but he was off hunting down another fork. Alex and Michael snickered as they watched Elaine cook me alive.

"Not a single call or visit." She stated pointedly.

"Well, last night I figured you were um..." I desperately fumbled for words. I stabbed some pancakes off my plate and into my mouth buy myself some more time. My eureka moment finally came through for me. "You were helping Alex with his car trouble."

Elaine's blank stare matched so perfectly with her brother's that it was no wonder they were related.

"What kind of shitty excuse—"

"Actually," Alex quickly interjected, most likely saving me from a verbal lashing from the angry woman. "M-Marcus ended up coming through for me last night."

I looked away from an equally confused Elaine to meet Alex's eyes, but his eyes were glued to his plate. Michael was grilling him with a fiery gaze.

No fucking way.

"I thought Elijah called—"

"What did I do?" His timing was damn near comedic.

Heat crept up my neck as I began to fully grasp the situation. As embarrassed as I was beginning to feel, I had no reason to feel like it yet. I didn't actually know if Elijah had been untruthful or not.

What reason would he have to be untruthful anyway?

"Didn't you call Elaine to help Alex last night?" I asked. We all sat up, poised to hear Elijah's next answer. It seemed as if Elaine was curious as well.

"Yeah," He furrowed his eyebrows as he sat down. "She didn't answer so then I called Mike."

The silence that followed was unforgettable.

Alex had his hands folded in front of him, desperately avoiding everyone's eyes at the table. The muscle in Michael's jaw jumped erratically as he glared at his two friends. Elaine's hand covered her mouth. What emotion she was holding back, I couldn't say. Eli was clueless about it all, choosing to chow down on his food instead.

Though none of them were looking at me, I knew my reaction to this would set the tone for the rest of breakfast.

I could've called Elijah out on his bullshit. I could've cursed him out and left. I could've leapt across the table. I could've caused a scene.

Or I could ignore it. I wanted to avoid conflict.

I couldn't ignore that burning feeling in my chest. I tapped Michael's glass of water, "Are you drinking that?" His gaze snapped to me, a small smile forming on his face. He shook his head as he slid the glass across the table. Nodding in gratitude, I chugged that glass like my life depended on it.

In between gulps, I asked, "What do you guys have planned for today?" Elaine turned to me, stunned that I was even still speaking.

"We made another reservation at the courts. Mike and the other loser want a rematch." Alex eagerly answered. The relief at the change of topics was made evident on his face. "You tryna come and watch us spank them again?" His wicked smile almost made me laugh, but I knew I wasn't wanted.

I had lost all fight to even be at the table.

"I think—"

"I'm pretty sure she has some nerdy shit to do at the library like finish her paper early," Elijah muttered haughtily. Elaine promptly elbowed him in the ribs.

These words didn't feel like a regular joke. It could've been the fact that I'd just caught him in a lie. Maybe it was the fact that things had been weird between us for a few days, but I no longer felt comfortable around Elijah.

I felt a pang in my chest. I pushed the empty glass away, fiddling with my fingers. My throat burned, but I couldn't leave just yet. It would be too suspicious if I left now.

I had to wait it out for at least a few more minutes. I couldn't let them think I was affected by Elijah's lies and his harsh words. "No, I—" My voice cracked, and my eyes began to sting. "It's already done." I finished quietly.

My breath was ragged and coming out in short puffs. I was starting to see spots in my vision. I could try all I wanted to play with my fingers to hide the shaking, but I was only playing myself. Michael's increasingly concerned gaze was making me feel worse.

My mom always told me that smiling would make me feel happier. It never made the pain in my chest go away.

My happy-go-lucky character was crumbling before everyone. The floodgates were about to break and I needed to go, immediately.

I felt that familiar signal that it was time for me to go.

"Bathroom." Nearly knocking my chair over, I avoided everyone's gaze. "I mean I need to use the bathroom." I sped out of the dining hall, almost sprinting into the nearest bathroom.

I kept a smile as I did. My tears were at least patient enough to fall after I had turned away from the group. I don't know what I would've done is the bathroom had any stragglers.

I took the largest stall. It seemed as though someone has just cleaned with the scent of lemon Pine Sol lingering in the air. I chose a corner furthest from the toilet and just let it out.

I should've seen it sooner. His joking nature last night had been a façade to stay cordial with me, nothing more. Here I was trying to revive a friendship that was already dead.

Everyone around me knew. I was the only one out of the loop. My hands slapped my face at the realization. I had been that pathetic girl that couldn't take a hint.

The embarrassment was weighing on my heart heavily. My throat began to constrict and my hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Five things you see quickly: toilet, toilet paper, the lock on the stall door, the floor tiles and Elaine's sneakers.

Four distinct sounds: the bathroom door opening, light chatter outside of the door, Elaine's sneakers squeaking across the floor, her voice calling out to me.

Three objects I can touch: the wall was cool to the touch, the toilet paper was brittle, and the floor was rough.

Two smells: PineSol and my deodorant.

One taste: pancakes.

I exhaled deeply as I came back down from my anxiety attack.

I was so invested in at least having a friendship with Elijah that I never considered that maybe he didn't even want one. His avoidant attitude these past few days should have given me all the indication I needed. Yet, I still chose to be willfully ignorant. As a result, I got lied to.

I roughly wiped at my face. Someone who would go out of their way to lie and exclude me didn't deserve my time or my energy. This mental declaration didn't make that chest pain go away though.

"Open the door." I had completely forgotten Elaine was on the other side of the door.

"No," I look around the bathroom stall for any excuse. "I'm pooping."

"I'm pretty sure the toilet is in the other corner of the stall?" I laughed quietly, realizing that it was dumb of me to try and lie about it. "Don't make me crawl on this dirty floor." She threatened loudly.

"Actually," I started. "I think someone just cleaned it."

"Verona." She deadpanned.

"Okay I'm coming out, just let me pee." I muttered in defeat.

My legs protested as I stood from my crouched position. After I relieved myself, I prepared myself for what must happen next.

I opened the stall door, and Elaine almost knocked me over with a hug. "I'm sorry my brother is such a jackass."

"Not at all," I reassured her as my arms closed around her. "I'll be fine." I would be okay. I washed my tear stained face with cold water.

Elaine and I walked out of the bathroom with plans for self care that day. Then I walked right into her brother. "Verona." He said breathlessly.

Our eyes met briefly, but that alone sent another pain to my chest as I remembered what he did. "Can we talk for a minute?"

I nodded at Elaine who squeezed my arm in return. She left us, striding back into the dining hall.

"I fucked up." He simply started as he led us over to some seats. "I shouldn't have lied last night."

An unfamiliar feeling bubbled in my heart as I took in his words. Was I not worth the trouble of sharing the truth? I no longer wanted to be in this conversation.

"I'm sorry I've been so weird lately—"

"Elijah?" I interrupted, knowing it would probably piss him off. "I would appreciate it if you kept your bullshit to yourself." It was anger.

I was angry that I gave this man so much access to me and I was not even worth the truth to him. I was angry that I tried so hard to ignore my romantic feelings for him by prioritizing what he said he wanted for us: a friendship.

I couldn't see his face but I knew he had to be shocked. I fiddled with my fingers as I spoke with a strength I didn't know I possessed. "Tell me what you want for us."

Elijah let out a shallow breath, "I want us to be friends."

I felt a twinge of pain as I picked at the skin around my fingernails. I looked at him but I wasn't really seeing him anymore. The details of his face became muddled as I decided where he would belonged in my life.

"Then act like it." Elijah would go with everyone who didn't matter.