𝚃𝚆𝙾 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚁

𝚆𝙴𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝙳𝙰𝚈

𝙹𝚄𝙽𝙴 𝟹𝟶𝚃𝙷

"I'm still on this whole Marcus situation." Yazmine said to Cherish. They were on the phone gossiping, as usual. Cherish didn't have time to update Yazmine after making it home, or the following day, until now.

"It was going up! Julissa stabbed Marcus; I knew I liked that crazy bitch for a reason. I don't blame her. He shouldn't have hit that girl. I probably would've shot a toe or finger off, though. Marcus grabbing you roughly. Again, I would've slapped his ass so hard. Aunt Riss was going to feel that sting. Soul almost breaking his hand. As he should. Y'all getting freaky in the kitchen. Must be motherfucking nice. Between you and me? That's something Truth and I would've done. I would've added some fruit, a little whipped cream. You know, get creative with our choice of location."

"It's the commentary for me." Cherish laughed. "I had to stop, Priest. That look in his eyes be scaring me. He definitely would've broken Marcus's hand if I didn't. And there's no must be nice. I'm so ashamed. You know I don't do shit like that. He made my coochie throb like it has a heart that beats for only him. I can tell you now I was singing SWV Weak in my head because that man knew exactly what to do to have me putty in his hands. That man shit dipped in gold with a Diamond tip. That's precisely why he needs to stay far away from me. I'm not sleeping with him again. That's over with."

"I'm a little toxic, so I loveeeee it." Yazmine smiled.

"Of course, you do. As for Julissa. I agree about not blaming Julissa. You know how much I love Marcus, but something still feels off about the whole situation. I feel bad for Julissa. Losing a baby then your man getting someone else pregnant not long after had to feel like a slap in the face. I felt so insensitive because on our way to my house; I stopped at Walgreens to get a Plan B. I wasn't wasting any time, so I took it in front of her. The look on her face broke my heart to the point I apologized."

"Apologized? Oh my God! You are too damn nice with a big heart that it's annoying at times. The hell, were you apologizing for?"

"It just seemed insensitive. There I was, preventing myself from getting pregnant while she has trouble carrying her pregnancies to term. You know how badly she wants one, Yaz. You don't know that feeling when you're carrying a baby inside of you. For the ones who want their baby, it's everything. Seeing your stomach grow. Bounding already. You anticipate the feeling of your baby moving or kicking. Imagining how he or she will look. Wanting that, and almost getting that, but losing your baby every time at four months; it's heartbreaking. So, yeah, I apologized. While I don't know personally how that feels, I know it has to hurt her to the core." Cherish told her.

"I did see it with Priest. He used to have full conversations knowing damn well I wasn't far. Used to come in the house and say fuck me, but instantly kiss my stomach and start talking to it. The day he thought I got an abortion, I saw the light go out in his eyes. He was so excited, but so heartbroken when he thought I terminated my pregnancy. The situations are different, but that look Julissa gave me was the same." Cherish added.

"I hear you, babe. I do. You are still too nice. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. While I feel for Julissa, don't feel bad for wanting to take precautions on not getting pregnant again. It's your body. She can judge you. Lowkey hate you or whatever the case may be, but you have to do what's right for you and your situation. It's hard enough having two kids who have to bounce back and forth between houses. Let's not push it with three."

"Right! My sentiments exactly. Priest is bipolar. He doesn't know if he wants to fuck with me or not. I slapped the shit out of him. Had he hit me back, we would've been fighting. Toxic ass really tried to trap me again. I would never regret my kids, but he has to chill with that."

"You said Soul wasn't about to trap you again. That man is definitely toxic because if Truth tried that with me... Do not get me started. I don't play like that at all." Yazmine chuckled. "You know you're fertile, so I don't know why you aren't on birth control. That would be so funny if you took that pill and still end up pregnant."

"That man is crazy. No, he's sick. Like, why would he even do that? Honesti is two, and I want no more kids. By him, of all people. We aren't together. And bitch, shut up when I see you. We are fighting. Why would you say that? I'm not fertile."

"I'm playing, cousin." Yazmine laughed.

"You need to be asking yourself if you're pregnant by Truth right now. That's what will be funny. You have gotten thicker. Titties are already big, but slightly bigger. Hmmm. Team boy or girl?" Cherish was smirking. She knew that was about to hit a nerve with Yazmine.

"Who?! Don't fucking throw that shit out there. I take back what I said about you. Just please don't wish no pregnancy on me. I'm not pregnant. Like ew! Can you even imagine me as a mother? Hell no! I wish I would pop up pregnant. Omari will be mad as fuck because I'm team fuck them kids. Love yours. Will love Marcus's son. Monica's daughter is the sweetest. But my own? I'm heading straight for the abortion clinic." Yazmine ranted emotionally.

"Whoa! Calm down, cousin. You about to have a whole panic attack over there. I thought I didn't want to have another baby, but you are terrified to have one."

"You can't be throwing shit like that out into the universe." Yazmine sighed.

"Like you just threw that plan B pill not working out there?"

"Fair enough." Yazmine chuckled. "Wait, I just did all of that as if I don't have that birth control in my pussy. And please don't be negative about there being cases where women still got pregnant while on birth control."

"I hate you." Cherish laughed.

"Back to Marcus."

"He blew me that night. That's why I left without saying anything to him. That, and I was too ashamed."

"I'm honestly a little jealous. I never understood love, but I was always surrounded by loving couples. You know, showing me that black love is so beautiful. Love period is beautiful. The way that your relationship was with Soul. Aunt Riss and Ben. Patience and Kincaid. Hell, Marcus and Julissa. The fact that Marcus lied, then threw some things in your face to keep up that lie proves how much he loves Julissa. Marcus shouldn't have said any of that, in front of other people at that. I don't like how he threw that in your face knowing how you are, but we will save that conversation for another time because it's making me mad again. Back to me making my point..." Yazmine said.

"I will never say I want a love or a relationship like someone else has because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. I will say I want someone to love me as deeply as the men I just named love their women."

"I am not Priest's woman. Cathy is."

"Girl, these names be having me in tears. I be two seconds from asking who. And you are the love of his life. With you being back, he's not hiding that from anyone. I mean, he never hid it with me. You may not be his woman now, but I have hope for you two. He's back on my good side. You know you could've told him you love him back."

"Not the hell I couldn't! Y'all really be thinking that's the easiest thing to do; when it isn't. Priest has a soft spot for me and always have had one. While it makes me smile, it blinds him. One of us has to be realistic. I hadn't been back for three weeks. Me keeping our daughter from him is still fresh. Unlike you and Truth, who had no real issues as a couple aside from your own prior to you pushing him away; Priest and I have several issues that we need to work out. We hadn't even had a proper conversation yet. Why would we get back together without those issues being resolved? Why would I tell a man who's still keeping a bitch he doesn't want around that I still love him? To have my feelings hurt when I see them again? To look stupid when he says he hasn't broken up with her? I already messed up by sleeping with him. It's not that easy!"

"Okayyyy! You just told me. I guess I haven't looked at it that way." Yazmine said.

"I just wish you all would stop making it seem like it's simple when it's not. Knowing very well, none of you would be eager to say it back if you were in my situation. Hell, you can't even say the words to Truth. Me telling Priest my feelings wouldn't change a thing. It's not like he does not know how I feel. The man knows me almost better than anyone. He just wants to hear me say it. It does me or him no good when he doesn't forgive me and I don't forgive myself. I don't even feel like I deserve another chance with him."Cherish expressed.

"Cousin—"

"Have you spoken to Truth?" Cherish switched the conversation.

"Nope. I don't plan to either. Like I just said, I want someone to love me as deeply. I know that I'm in love with Omari, but it's like... I don't know." Yazmine sighed.

"You want to know that the person you're in love with will never give up on you. That he will fight for you when you have no strength to fight for yourself. That he would look past the broken pieces and see the real you that's afraid to show yourself. That the wall you've built so high to protect you and your heart; he can tear down and break through it. That when he looks at you, he gives you a look that has you feeling what he's feeling. You see exactly what he sees in you. That in the darkest times your soul searches for his just to feel peace." Cherish spoke, which made Yazmine close her eyes from getting emotional."

"It's like you and I are the same. Everything you said is spot on. I just didn't know how to put it into words." Yazmine sighed.

"I hate to break it to you, babe, but you had someone like that. Truth. Don't even try to snap on me."

Yazmine chuckled. "I'm not. Still, I can't be with Truth. Sleeping with ole girl hours after claiming he's in love with me just doesn't sit right with me. It's as if he was saying he could easily find someone else. That I'm not worth the fight. Maybe we don't belong together."

"I remember reading something and memorized it because I felt it deep in my soul. It said, I want a man to show me myself. I want him to love me so deeply, I'm not afraid to show him how ugly I can be. I want him to show me scars I never knew I had, but I want him to make them go away. I want him to hold my hand while I nurse myself, and I want him to cherish the bruises they leave behind."

"Damn." Yazmine mumbled because she was feeling those words on a deep level as well.

"Yeah, I know. Yaz... you've never been in a relationship before. Truth is the first you had something real with, and it scared you. You sabotaged what you, and he, had before you could even get to official relationship status. That was definitely your man. I know you, so I know why you're scared. I'm trying to fix things about myself, and it's time you do the same, cousin. You need to start at the root of everything, which is your father. Have a sit down with him. I'm not saying now, you should do so at your own pace and when you're ready. But you have to start mending what's broken. Otherwise, you will always be scared to love someone and to let someone love you. Letting someone in doesn't make you weak."

"This is why I love you."

Yazmine and Cherish talked for a minute before ending their conversation. Yazmine was at her shop, and it was closing time during the entirety of her conversation with Cherish. All she wanted to do was go home, take a long bath, and contemplate how her life was. She was the only one left in the shop, since most of the stylists' last appointments were hours ago.

Yazmine was straightening up her station when she heard her door chime, indicating someone was walking through. She thought Jerrika, which is a stylist that works in her shop, would've put the oops! You're too late, and we're closed sign up when she left, but obviously didn't.

"We're closed." Yazmine spoke.

"Can you squeeze in two more, please? I'll pay whatever." A smooth, deep baritone echoed throughout her shop, causing her to look towards the door.

The man before her stood at 6'4, with a smooth and rich mocha skin complexion. His mid-back length dreads were freshly styled and accompanied by a crispy lining. She's a hairstylist, so she could tell he was someone who took pride in keeping his dreads nice and fresh. His full beard, that was lined to perfection, surrounded a pair of juicy lips. They looked so soft. She knew she was caught checking him out when he flashed his smile. An almost intoxicating smile. His teeth were white, straight, and pretty. Tattoos covered his neck and, in all honesty, they looked so good against his skin. She used to cringe when someone would refer to another person having "Kissable skin", but that man definitely has some. It's feeling like all the fine men are coming out of the woodwork because she wondered where the hell did he come from. Tall, dark, and handsome were taken to a whole other level.

Her eyes went to the two little girls, who held his hands tightly. They looked to be around Malaysia's age. She tried to mask her distaste for how their hair was. His hair was looking like he was modeling for a hair magazine, while their hair looked as if it hasn't been done in a while. Yazmine was tired, and she doesn't even do kiddie styles aside from Cherish's kids, but she felt compelled to do theirs.

"Sure, do you have a style in mind?" Yazmine smiled.

"Thanks, ma. I really appreciate it. As for the style, I don't know anything about it." He chuckled.

"I'll figure it out..."

"Hendrix." He flashed his smile again.

"Well, Hendrix, I'm Yazmine, the owner of this shop."

"Nice to meet you, ma."

Yazmine walked over to them as his eyes roam every curve. She crouched down in front of one of the girls. They were two beautiful little girls; twins. Their hair just looked a mess. "Which one of you would like to go first?"

"Me!" The little girl on the opposite side spoke.

"And what's your name, pretty girl?" Yazmine smiled at her.

"I'm Heaven, and that's my sister Journee." Heaven responded happily.

"Those are some pretty names, Heaven. Come on, sweetie." Yazmine held out her hand. Heaven looked at Hendrix, and he nodded his head, letting her know that it was okay.

As Yazmine walked away, Hendrix was once again letting his eyes roam every curve. Yazmine was thick. Fine. And her own boss. That was a good combination to him. Yazmine was wearing an off-white/black cotton Celine T-shirt, a pair of black shorts that was hugging her hips perfectly. It showcased her shape; and a pair of all-white Air Force ones.

Yazmine turned around to tell him something, and he made no effort to hide that he was checking her out, which she chuckled at. "Can you switch that sign to closed for me?" She asked him as he licked his lip and nodded. "Thank you."

Yazmine helped Heaven onto the chair, then placed a cape around her. Her hair was in three matted-up ponytails. It was easy to tell that they have used not a comb or brush on her or her sister's head. The parts that separated the ponytails weren't even a little visible, which told her it's been a while. She was definitely judging Hendrix. Yazmine hoped Heaven or Journee was not tender-headed, because she was going to need to detangle their hair before washing it.

She was happy that Cherish had just brought some pretty lil ribbons, bows, beads, barrettes for little girls, as well as hairball ties and other accessories to her shop for when she does Malaysia and Honesti's hair. It'll save Cherish the trip of having to bring the accessories with her. While Cherish could do her own daughters' hair, Yazmine didn't mind doing it as well.

Poor baby hair is damaged. Yazmine thought while grabbing a comb.

"I'm sorry about their hair." Hendrix spoke.

Must have been reading my thoughts. Yazmine looked over at him to see his eyes were already on her.

"No judgments here. You have some beautiful daughters." Yazmine told him, knowing fully well she was judging him. He laughed while shaking his head.

"What's funny?" She asked.

"You're definitely judging me. And my daughters? If you wanted to know if I had kids, ma, you could have asked. I don't have any. These are my nieces." Hendrix smiled.

That smile. Wait, what am I thinking about? I'm in love with Truth's toxic dick ass. I should not be thinking about another nigga. Yazmine thought, but couldn't help but smile back at Hendrix.

"Oh, I'm sorry. They look just like you, then you're coming to my shop all late with them... that's my bad." She chuckled. Which was the truth. Both girls looked a lot like him, except they had a milk chocolate skin complexion.

"They're my sister's kids, but they're mine. If that makes sense. These are my lil hearts right here. They're going to be staying with me for a while, so I brought them to the first shop that I saw. I'm happy I did." Was Hendrix's response, Yazmine didn't miss the hint of flirting in his voice when he said he was happy he did.

Heaven was talkative, just like Malaysia, but Yazmine conversed with her to keep her distracted while she tried to detangle her hair. Heaven wasn't tender-headed, which was a plus.

"So, Yazmine..." Hendrix started. The way he said her name had her ready to be on some hoe shit, which made absolutely no sense to her. He had one of those deep voices that had some authority to it. It was so smooth, and each time he spoke; she fought the urge to bite her lip. His voice definitely matched his looks. He was easily giving Truth a run for his money.

"So, Hendrix..." Yazmine said, but hadn't looked up.

"I hope I didn't inconvenience you. I came in here asking if you could squeeze two in, but never asked if you normally do hair for kids. I'm going to need someone who's good at taking care of kids' hair because I don't know the first thing about it." Hendrix said. Yazmine wanted to ask how did their hair get that matted, but kept quiet because the how's and why's aren't her business."

"I don't unless it is my two nieces, but you can bring them whenever they need their hair done, and I'll make an exception. Heaven's hair is very damaged and, from the looks of it, so is Journee's. Don't worry, I'll work my magic, and before you know it, their hair will be nice and healthy. Much like yours is. I'll even teach you some simple styles, and how to part their hair right just for some ponytails if you want to avoid always coming down here."

Hendrix smiled. She doesn't know why he kept flashing his smile. It's like he knew he had one of those smiles that has an effect on women. People with pretty teeth were always trying to show that they have them. "You tryna see me more, huh?"

"What? No." She shook her head but smiled. "How else will they get here? Unless your girlfriend or someone else brings them."

Nigga, please don't smile again. Yazmine looked at him, and that's exactly what he did.

"I'm single, ma. I ain't found the right one yet."