AKA: Tightening your word count

For those of you who might find yourself wanting to slice words off your manuscript for one reason or another.

This is not designed to be a commentary on different writing styles. This is for the person who needs to be under 3000 or 92000 or 750 words and they're a few over. Or, for the person who is trying to make their story subtly stronger.

There are several words small enough to escape detection because they're so simple and fundamental to story telling. Often people skip over their elimination because they are core words, the foundation of our structured sentences. If you're looking to shave down your word count or tighten your manuscript for any reason, it never hurts to try and eliminate the small stuff first, because these words are relatively meaningless on their own. Your story's integrity will not be compromised.

Just keep in mind that you will need to re-write a sentence here and there. We're trying to shorten sentences, and that might mean finding a stronger/more specific word or eliminating part of a line!

The, a, an, at, of, then, that, up, down, out, in, and, to, with.

General —-> General Washington (no word cut; just an example of being specific)

Got —-> Stood

Crouched —-> Crouched (crouching typically means going down)

...kissed her lips andtraced her cheek —-> kissed her lips and traced her cheek. (Can't do both actions at the same time? You may need two sentences.)

The trip took long time] —-> Hours

Betsy wrapped the flag around her shoulders. George stared her. —-> George stared.

... stripes were color blueberries intersected —-> blueberry stripes intersected...

If these examples were from the same story, we've just cut about 11-12 words without having to agonize over deleting an entire sentence or two! Cutting out the words may not be a big deal, but you're literally saving the reader a few seconds and thus making your work a faster read. The stripes are still blueberry. You still crouched. He still kissed/traced.

As you can see from the examples, sometimes just the small word can be cut; other times a stronger or more specific word can be used, or a part of the line can be entirely reworked.

Quick and clean trick to shaving off a few precious words. Don't have your character verb-to something. Just have them verb.

Examples:

Matthew began to sing—-> sang

Mark started to work —-> worked

Luke tried to reach —-> reached

John's feet seemed to dance —-> danced

The same idea can be applied with -ING:

Matthew began running —-> ran

Mark's heart starts pounding—-> pounds

Luke tries thinking —-> thinks

John appears to be lounging —-> John lounges

Don't say what didn't. Most of these situations can be cut without any change to the story. It is also an excellent starting point if you're looking to insert detail somewhere!

We'll look at this in a silly way, and then apply it to the most common example I can think of.

The branches rustled, but no unicorn jumped out. Only a squirrel. Fear melted into relief which turned my spine to jelly. Without thinking, I collapsed against the trunk. I kicked a nut in its direction, but the squirrel didn't accept my offering. Instead, it scampered away.

Perfectly acceptable, right? Right. Technically, you can leave it alone! But today we're on a quest to tighten our story.

Here is our example, with all instances of "nothing happened" crossed out.

The branches rustled. Only a squirrel. Fear melted into relief which turned my spine to jelly. I collapsed against the trunk. I kicked a nut in its direction. [the squirrel] scampered away.

Nothing in the scene has changed, but we've sliced thirteen words! (Obviously you'd want to edit, but I left it raw so you can see the difference.)

This next example is one of the most common "nothings" I can think of. It's used for emphasis and has dramatic flair. There are a few variations.

Jones didn't say a word, just swept his broom back and forth.

Nothing. Silence. (silence is something; nothing is nothing)

She said nothing. A tear trickled down her cheek. My hand stopped it. "Sally-"

"Ass."

I didn't speak. With my chin raised, I headed for the exit.

A bit of, a lot, a ton of, a little, etc.

Besides lowering word count, this also ups the stakes depending on the situation. Taking out these words strengthens the remainder and usually makes the statements more suited for conflict. If a scene needs some tension, this is a good way to start.

That's a bit rude. —-> That's rude.

Your writing is a little unpolished. —-> Your writing is unpolished.

On the reverse, if you're trying to soften the mood, dialogue, or character, inserting these words will help thaw a colder impression.

This is NOT writing advice for every single sentence, BUT this is one of my go-to rules when I feel like I've gone and detailed more than I should.

For my light writing style, it is the easiest way to shorten a sentence and to identify which words might be better replaced or extraneous. The more adjectives you insert, the longer the sentence becomes and the clunkier it might sound.

[Again, I'll say that this is just a post about shortening word count. The intentions are to shave off a few words. In no way am I saying that the heavier writing styles are wrong. I'm just saying, if you need to cut something, adjectives and adverbs are fair game.]

The blue and green aurora shimmered across a night sky filled with murky smog and neon signs.

She flipped the tattered ends of her luscious, raven bangs.

Beyond rolling Carolina hills of ivory sand, my voluptuous wife lay sprawled, gently teasing sunrise waves with pruned toes.

These are examples are totally fine! But if you need to cut those last 25 words, killing an adjective or two is a piece of cake.

The blue and green (teal or blue-green no color at all) aurora shimmered across a night sky filled with murky smog and neon signs.

She flipped the tattered ends of her luscious, raven bangs. She flipped her tattered bangs.

Beyond rolling hills of ivory sand, my voluptuous wife lay sprawled, gently teasing sunrise waves with pruned toes.