We've all been there: getting a present from your great aunt or a surprise from your new beau or some food from the new neighbor down the street. And that's great, except, you kinda sorta hate it.

For example, my grandmother, bless her heart, once made us a Strawberry Jello Angel Food Cake. Yum, right? Come to find out, she used orange jello and added diced carrots to make it healthier for us. What do I say to her?

I shouldn't have to tell you how to respond to these words! Pat yourself on the back! Your hard work paid off. Someone enjoyed what you wrote! :)

This usually occurs two ways:

You don't like anything they said.

You like some sections, but you don't like or disagree with other ones.

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Whatever you say in response to someone, especially someone who gave you a critique, please be honest! Don't lie and say you'll edit when you know you won't, don't tell them you'll make changes when you aren't going to. Don't tell them how their feedback is super useful when you're going to delete it in an hour. It's bad manners. =/ And the last thing you want, especially if you aren't already rich and famous, is to alienate readers by earning yourself a bad reputation.

Don't be the boy who cried wolf, always asking for crits and never using them. One day when you really need help, you might not get it from the people you want.

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First, because it's easiest, let's address not liking anything someone said in their crit.

That's it. The critters, commentators and reviewers aren't stupid. Those of us who've been at this for a while know when someone's upset, ticked off, annoyed, or otherwise irritated by what we've said. For us oldies, by the time we're halfway through writing a comment, crit, or review for you, we can accurately predict how you're going to feel about it.

Even when we try and be really nice and helpful, sometimes writers just don't like what's being said.

If you just say thank you, we know that (usually) something or everything wasn't well-received, but we're happy that our time, effort, and energy was at least acknowledged.

You're not thanking us for our reply, you're thanking us for our time.

And we respect you a little more for having the guts to look us in the eye and be adult about it.

At the very least, respect their time and energy by waiting until you edit to delete it (use the Sniff Test; if it fails, it's one of the ones I wanted you to keep for later/if it passes, it's probably useful). It's just polite. If you really are afraid of it sitting in your comments, wait a week, save it to MS Word or whatever writing program you use, and then delete the comment itself.

Just let it sit and stew for a little while. Sometimes people go back to your work, and there's nothing more insulting than going back to read more or see how the story is progressing or if the writer made changes like they promised, only to find that your crit is gone and you only posted it yesterday and there's literally zero changes to the story.

1. Tell them what you agree with!

That's easy. You don't have to go through line by line, but a quick: Hey, I agree with what you said about always mentioning Harry's eyes. I did use them a bit too much!

2. If you disagree with something, you don't have to say anything. Just stick to what you agree with and give the thank you. It is always your story, your choice and editors and critters know that. We don't expect you to accept every suggestion we have. We just like for you to consider them. Or some. Again, you don't have to go line by line.

3. If you have to explain something, try and keep it brief. People don't usually go back and correct their crits (especially if there isn't an edit button). Explaining can help you talk through your story, but you have to be careful not to sound rude. Critters and editors sometimes make mistakes (or they zero in on something so much, they forget a sentence ten paragraphs up where you said something and they thought you didn't). You don't want to sound arrogant.

If you have to explain something, that could be a red flag that you were NOT clear about it in the story itself. Even if just one person said it. I've seen a lot of people explain away comments and questions by readers, and they keep having to explain because they never go back and address the issue in the story. Readers don't always have you in their ear to answer their questions, which is why it's important to take questions that they do have seriously.

Like in school, one kid might ask the question, but there's probably someone else thinking it, too!

4. Arguing with the critter about their thoughts is dangerous. It is *so* easy for a writer to come across as catty. Like I said before, this is your story. You have the ultimate say over what happens. You don't need to dispute anyone over what is right and wrong. Accept that they have a different viewpoint and were just trying to be helpful, and move on.