RECAP:

Everyone was quiet, waiting to see what Zayn will do. I think the only sound audible was the slight squealing of some girls and the loud thumping of my heart.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and looked up at Zayn to see him leaning down.

~*~

 CHAPTER 20:

"I never understood what love was really like, but I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes." ~Loved You First, One Direction.

Thursday, 29th August 2013

ZAYN'S POV:

I gulped when Harry looked up and would I get smacked on the head if I said that I did want to kiss him?

Harry was staring at me with wide green eyes, and it was deathly silent in the room. Everyone was pretty much gobsmacked that I was really going to go through with the dare. Hell, even I wasn't sure what I was doing right now.

I kneeled down and leaned closer to Harry's face, and he looked like he was having trouble breathing. Well, I was not far from feeling the same to be honest.

I gulped again and closed my eyes. Never back out on a dare, Zayn. Never give up a challenge, never show you're a coward, I chanted in my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

But I can't do this. I can't play with Harry's feelings like that.

Yes. For once I did think about Harry, and not what'll happen to my own reputation and all that shit.

I opened my eyes and shook my head. "Sorry, I-I can't do this," I murmured and before anyone could even blink, I fled up the stairs to the rooftop of Liam's house, where I could clear my head and just get away.

I was huffing by the time I reached the top, and I collapsed near the ledge, pulling my legs up and resting my chin on my knees.

I closed my eyes when the slightly chilly evening breeze caressed my face, welcoming a few old memories.

~*~

"I-I can't do that! Please, no! Don't make me do it!" A thirteen year old me stammered.

"Aww, ickle Zaynie is scared! You want yer mummy Zaynie?" And I got slapped in the face. I shook my head weakly, tears forming in my eyes.

"Look at that lads! We made mummy's boy cry!"

"Aw! Let's go Rick. This kid's too much of a wussy. Always was, always will be."

"Pathetic runt."

"Nerd!"

"Couldn't even handle a little job!"

Their words caused something to snap inside of me and I called out to the retreating boys.

"Wait!"

"Eh?" Rick, the fifteen year old leader turned to me with a smirk. That boy had had a beef with me ever since his little sister had kissed me last year, when I was twelve. How was it even my fault?

"I-I'll do it."

"Getting brave aren't we Zaynie?"

"Do-don't call me that."

"Aw! Only mummy can call ya Zaynie? That'll be yer name from now on." And he kicked me in the shin.

I winced, grabbing my leg. I always had to lie to Mum when I got home, saying I tripped and fell. It hurt to lie to her, but it hurt even more to see her worried. "Ju-just tell me what to do."

Rick shared a secret smile with the other two boys then turned to me.

"Listen here Zaynie..."

So, those lads had asked me to steal some expensive video games from the local store for them and I had to. I risked my family's reputation. But when I got caught, I came clean and told their names.

And since then, they never left me alone. And the emotional and physical pain got so worse that I had to beg my parents to move away from Bradford.

We moved to London and I'd started with a blank slate. New city, new school, new me.

And ever since that day, I vowed to never turn down a challenge or appear weak, 'cos you always get bullied around when you're a coward.

~*~

And right now, I ran away from a challege, became a coward, just 'cos I'm confused with my feelings.

"Uh, Zayn?" I snapped my head up at Harry's voice and he gasped audibly. Then I realized that unconsciously, I'd been crying. I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and looked back down.

"What do you want?" I asked him, and it came out much colder than I had intended.

"You, uh, are you okay?"

"Do I look like I'm fucking okay?" I used his words from yesterday. Wow. Yesterday, I comforted him and looks like he's here to return the favor. Well, no thank you.

After a few seconds, Harry spoke again. "Er, did you really not want to kiss me back there?"

What the hell? Way to be blunt, Curly. "Of course! Why would I want to kiss you?"

Harry walked closer and sat down beside me, and I scooted a bit further away. Harry noticed that and sighed.

"Cos at that moment, when everyone thought that you were going to kiss me, I saw it your eyes that you did want to kiss me."

I gulped and looked away. "Wh-what crack are you on, Styles?"

Harry chuckled humorlessly. "Believe me or not Zayn, but I think that you hide your real self from everyone."

I grimaced at his words but didn't deny them. "I don't hide it, that part of me is long gone."

Harry snapped his head up abruptly, not believing that I accepted what he said.

"Stop trying to figure me out, Styles. Why are you so intent on finding out about me, eh?" I asked frustratedly, my voice hinting to the bit of anger that I felt.

"Because I want to help you," he answered and my heart started beating faster and I just stammered in reponse. Why the hell does he have to know so much about me? But I'll never admit it.

"You don't know anything about me!" I lied and glared at him, getting up. "And don't try to poke your nose where it's not wanted!"

"Zayn, like I said before, you cover yourself with this I-don't-give-a-damn attitude and it's okay to smile sometimes you know. I just want to tell you that." He was speaking so softly that I had to strain my ears to hear him.

It's okay to smile. I know. But I really don't want to smile sometimes. Come to think of it, the only times when I've felt that I had really smiled like I used to before, was when Harry was around. Crazy, I know, but it's the truth.

"Did I pester you about what happened to you that day at school?" I questioned, trying to make a point.

"Yes, you did," Harry replied, picking at the bandage on his arm.

I blinked. "W-well you didn't tell me though!"

"But you asked me though!"

I sighed. This backfired. "Touche."

"Just answer a single question: Why do you feel like you have no one to talk to Zayn?" Harry took a deep breath. "Cos you can talk to me if you want to."

I clenched my jaw. "Because, I don't have anything to talk about."

"I don't believe that."

"THEN BELIEVE WHAT EVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO BELIEVE! I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"

Harry stepped back, momentarily stunned by my outburst, then smiled, almost triumphantly. The crazy bastard. I huffed and turned around to leave but Harry caught my arm and my skin burned at the contact. He quickly dropped it when he registered what he'd done.

"Look Zayn, I know that something happened to you in your past, big or small, that made you like this." My throat became constricted at his words.

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"Because it all shows in your eyes. The look that tells that you've been though a lot and just need to let it all out. Believe me, I know that look very well, 'cos I see it in the mirror everyday." He spoke the last part so faintly that I thought I heard him wrong.

What does he mean by that?

It scares me so much that he knows so much about me, has figured out so much about me. On one hand, I want to tell him more, want him to comfort me. But on the other hand, I really want him to just let it go already. I just don't know what I want anymore.

"I feel like something really tough happened to you, that you need-"

"Shut up!"

Harry looked taken aback, then smirked. "Hit a nerve?"

"You're an annoying and lying little bastard," I growled.

"Oh? Then tell me that all what I said just now wasn't true, all of it."

"It wasn't." I murmured.

"I know you know that what I said was all true." Harry sighed, shook his head and walked closer to me. I looked up to see his expression and my eyes widened.

He was smiling at me, a sweet, understanding smile that made my heart beat faster. His green eyes were filled with sincerity and all the things I've been feeling for the past month caught up to me.

How I always think he looks cute doing almost anything.

How I think about him when I look at my painting.

How even the most random things remind me of him.

How I just find an excuse to text him or tease him, just so I can talk to him and see his reaction.

How my heart had physically hurt when I'd seen him injured and sobbing yesterday.

How I want to know the cause of his pain, so I can destroy that cause.

I knew that I felt something more for Harry but my mind was refusing to believe it.

So, my body went ahead and made it clear for me.

Without a second thought, or no thought at all, I reached out my arm and wrapped it around the taller boy's neck, pulling him down. I tilted my head and gently placed my lips on his soft ones. The second our lips met, my whole body felt numb, but the good, tingly kind of numb.

After a few milliseconds of surprise, I felt Harry wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, responding to the kiss, and my mind went into overdrive.

~*~

[A/N: I'm sobbing! Da Zarry feels I can't type]

HARRY'S POV:

Zayn had went to the rooftop after refusing the dare, and I'd felt a tad dissapointed but a bit relieved at the same time. Everyone was murmuring in confusion around me.

"Harry, I think you should go check on him," Liam advised. I nodded reluctantly and searched for the rooftop. After much stumbling around Liam's huge house, I found the stairs to the roof. I climbed up and saw Zayn sitting on the ledge, gazing at the starry sky.

I was more than shocked when I'd realized he was crying, his cheeks glistening. I knew he wasn't sad 'cos of what just happened. It was something else. I just had to talk to him slowly about it all.

I tried to get him to confess to me, to let it all out, made him aware that I was here for him. Because I was. And always will be.

I was slowly but surely breaking down Zayn's walls, and I was having much progress tonight. Finally, he had snapped, and realized that what I said was the truth.

His eyes showed that pain, the pain that meant something painful made him act like this, hide his true personality to avoid getting hurt again. And I knew that Zayn also knew that what I said was true.

"I know you know that what I said was all true." I told him and sighed, shook my head and walked closer to him. I was here for him, even if he'd push me away. I'd come this far, I won't back away now.

Zayn looked up to see my expression and his eyes widened. I hope that he saw on my face what I wanted to tell him; I understood and was here for him.

I expected him to push me back, walk away, smile, to yell at me even, but never in a million years would I have expected him to pull my neck down and kiss me. FUDGING KISS ME!

My thoughts jumbled up and became incoherent the second Zayn gently put his lips on mine, like he was afraid of my reaction. For a while I couldn't unfreeze my body and then suddenly, I snapped out of it and pulling him closer, started kissing him back more fiercely.

I was feeling tingles on my lips and butterflies in my stomach. Zayn removed his hands from my neck and entwined his fingers in my hair, making me shudder.

I grasped his waist tighter and slammed him to the wall, deepening the kiss. Zayn bit my lip and I sighed in pleasure. Through by hazy mind, I registered that the kiss was quickly turning into a French one and we both broke away at the same time, gasping for breath, our foreheads pressed together.

I met Zayn's eyes which were still darkened from our sudden almost-make-out session, and he shook his head as if to clear it. Then, without a word, he turned away from me and started walking away, but I yet again caught his arm.

"Let go, Harry," he spoke in a husky voice.

"No. Not this time Zayn. I won't accept an I don't know. I want an answer. Don't mess with my mind, please." Everything was still going crazy in my mind from that damn kiss that took place seconds ago.

That perfect kiss.

I never imagined it'll feel this good to kiss Zayn and I had never imagined in a million years that I'd even get to kiss him. And not only that, but he had be the one to kiss me first.

"I-I don't know."

"Seriously, Zayn?"

He threw his hands up. "Fine. You wanna know? I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. But I sometimes think I have feelings for you that I shouldn't have. I think about you when I shouldn't. I want to text you all the time. I always took for you in History class. I always look for an excuse to tease you. I always think about you when I read The Fault in Our Stars. And I-"

Now I was kissing Zayn, pressing my lips to his soft ones even more passionately than last time and I didn't know I had it in me. I still couldn't believe what Zayn had just told me. I just couldn't control my emotions.

Our gentle kiss escalated to making out in a matter of seconds, and Zayn abruptly pulled away.

"Listen Zayn, I-" Zayn cut me off.

"I know what you're gonna say. You don't feel the same way and this is just too awkward for you. You kissed me in the heat of the moment and now-"

I pecked him on the lips to shut him up. I could definitely do this more often. "Would you just listen! I had a crush on you ever since I first saw you, even when you used to bully me." Zayn bit his lip guiltily at that, looking down.

I grabbed his chin, making him look up. "But it's okay now. That's in the past. And that crush I had never went away, just got bigger and bigger till now. I always feel my heart beat faster when you're around. Cheesy, but it's the truth." Zayn's eyes widened when my words registered, and he smiled that Zayn smile. My Zayn smile.

"Oh, that's- so you feel the same way?"

I nodded, and my grin couldn't get any bigger. I can't believe Zayn actually felt the same way. The bad boy, the popular guy, my bully, the guy who almost seemed to hate me. My crush. The one I've fallen for.

After a few moments of simply smiling at each other, I rubbed my neck. "So, uh are we-"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Zayn murmured, pulling me in for another sweet kiss on the rooftop.

"I could get used to this," I murmured shyly when we pulled back and Zayn bit his lip, hiding his smile.

"I think the Zarry shippers are gonna celebrate," Zayn commented randomly, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Yep," I laughed and leaned my head against his shoulder, sighing happily.

~*~

THERE! HAPPY?! #ZARRY IS OFFICIAL! *sobs in pillow*

Oh da feels I got while typing this chappie! I'm unstable right now. But hope it made up for the cliffhanger. :D

LEAVE SOME COMMENTS I WANNA READ YOUR REACTIONS! <3

**Next update after 38 votes, 10 comments and 140 reads!**

Love you all! Thanks for the 6K reads and 600 votes on this Zarry book! I never thought anybody would ever read it! <3

IT'S BEEN THREE FREAKING YEARS SINCE THE BAND WHO CHANGED MY LIFE WAS FORMED! #HappyThreeYearsOf1D <3

~bemycupcake xx